


My Brother's keeper

by booandhazzababe



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Eleanor Calder - Freeform, Fluff, Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson Are Brothers, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Porn With Plot, Pregnancy, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, fan fiction, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson - Freeform, troubled
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 23:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 62
Words: 176,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2206416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/booandhazzababe/pseuds/booandhazzababe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically a sequel to My Step Brothers Keeper</p><p>Louis and Harry find out theyre brothers and things might not go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Insta for pics - alwaysinmyheartharry  
> Questions twit -

Bonded by the Same Cruel Fate, Harry and Louis find out Anne's secret and are put in the position where their Love is Forbidden until possibly, the end of time. A connection between the two has been revealed and although the best thing to do is forget what ever was there, they cant, and inside their hearts, they know they have been brought together for a distinct reason, Love.

Both boys try again to solve the problem, but things get difficult when their previous past comes to haunt them and Harry soon finds himself in another position where he has to choose between whats right and Louis.

The secrets in the Styles Family are endless and what happens when Will and Edward know something they aren't supposed to know? Will Louis find a way to fix things with Harry, or will he move on, and focus on the one thing that will change his life forever?

 

 

 

(Prologue posted soon!)


	2. Chapter 2

"Boys...boys...are you alright?"

Anne looked between both of HER sons and felt she was missing something, her boys crying hysterically on the ground and the other, by the trash bin.

"I never knew you two would take it this hard.....do you really not want to be brothers? Im sorry loves. Im so sorry."

Anne looked towards her youngest son and approached him, patting his back as he continued to throw up in the bin.

"Im sorry, Louis. I should have told you since the beginning. It took me so long to find you....and I was afraid If I told you the truth, you wouldn't want to come home with me. you wouldn't have. you'd think im a lunatic if I said I was your previous mother before you got kidnapped. im sorry."

Louis stepped away from the bin and wiped his mouth off with a small rag on the floor, shaking his head while he continued to sob. The pit of Annes stomach swirled when she met her baby boys eyes and noticed they were bloodshot, swollen, and the matter of just minutes of being told the truth.

"I-It can't be. M-My mum. M-My mummy loves me."

"I do love you sweetie. But Haley wanted you to herself too. She took you away from me when you were barely born. Didn't even let me put you in your own bed. I mean no harm to James.....he just. He helped planned this out darling. He wanted to use me because Haley couldn't have kids. Im sorry. Im very sorry"

Louis closed his eyes and tried to remember that they in the orphanage where a strange lady had came in and peeked interest in him although he was always part of the kids that were neglected. She had came constantly, but he never knew why, always thinking she was probably a health inspector or someone from the higher area of child services.

He then realized the reason why she looked so familiar, Anne being the lady he had seen in the store when he was shopping with his mum although, Haley apparently wasn't his mom now and his real mom was kneeling right beside him.

"The nanny....your nanny.....she kidnapped me?"

"Yes, Haley."

"My mum could never do that."

"Baby, the only reason I knew you weren't dead is because your dad confessed to it years ago. Came to my bloody door drunk and told me everything. Told me he'd sent you away to some far away orphanage to rub it in my face. I tried and tried for years, in the country's next to England, but stupid little me never realized, you were only blocks away."

Louis sat in shock, tears still running like waterfalls and sobbed harder and harder till Anne grabbed a hold of him and began to whisper soothing things in his ear.

"W-Why would he lie to me? They loved me. I loved them. I loved them."

Louis broke down and felt nauseous with so many things coming to his head, and one that he couldn't miss was the realization that

He was Anne's Son.

"G-Gemma was my sister then?"

Louis looked up at Anne and her face cringed in pain.

"Y-Yes."

Louis covered his face and screamed, which Startled Anne but didn't let go of him. 

Louis was angry now, angry for never realizing things she should have known, things she should have seen, one realizing that now that he remembered the picture, he looked nothing like his mother.

She was a natural red, her hair orange, with beautiful eyes that weren't even the same color as his.

She had freckles, her skin was pale white, and nothing of her resembled Louis, and why did he have to be so stupid?

He let go and began to sob again, feeling so much hatred and sadness towards everything right now, he felt like he would be better off dying.

And that's when he heard it, the little small click at the corner of his ear.

With eyes already set on the floor, he let his eyes travel up his body until he noticed the corner of his shirt was a little rolled up, revealing a fresh, purple bruised love bite on his hip, which crushed his world ten times worse.

"H-Harry's my brother."

"Y-Yes. Yes he is."

Louis let his eyes slowly go up from the floor to where he could only see two pairs of boots on the floor a few feet away in front of him, and when a shriek escaped Anne's lips, he looked up to meet the eyes of his brother who stood with the Same miserable look he had on his eyes.

The only difference was,

he had a gun positioned on his head.

Louis heart stopped beating at that moment and he pushed away Anne, getting himself off the floor towards Harry who shook his head and yelled.

"Dont come any closer Louis."

"Harry please, Harry what are you doing?"

"I cant Louis, I cant."

"Harry please, Harry, please don't leave me. Harry don't do this."

"I can't go on without you Louis. I cant."

"You wont, im right here. See. Im right here."

Harry shook his head and took the safety lock off the gun once again, making Louis whimper and panic. He stepped away, looking around the room until he got the perfect object, and Anne shrieked again, Harry now glaring down at Louis.

"Put that down!"

"You go, I'll go with you."

Louis hiccupped as he held a piece of broken glass to his wrist and began to initiate the wound.

"Louis stop!"

"No."

"Louis, put it down!

"What makes you think I can go on without you?"

Anne stood in the corner with a heart attack in commence, watching helplessly as both of her sons threatened to take their life away at the same time.

"Louis, put it down!"

"Make me!"

"You stubborn little brat, I said put it down!"

Louis moved the glass again, now a centimeter away from his vein and Harry shook his head, the tears now coming down twice as fast.

"Don't do this to me, Louis."

Louis took a deep breath and a harsh cry came out, making every single little hair of Harry's body stand up immediately.

"Hazza, I-It hurts."

A little blood trickled down Louis wrist and that was enough to get Harry to drop the gun, and approach Louis, which the smaller boy mimicked with the glass, and threw himself into Harry's arms.

Anne took the opportunity to snatch both items away and called her sister over as quickly as possible, while Harry dropped down to the floor to sit and placed Louis in his lap. Harry took off his shirt and wiped away the blood, while pressing kisses to the skin afterwards each time.

"You Little fool, how could you scare me like that."

Louis shrugged and began to sob, clinging onto Harry tightly until he was able to reach the side of Harry's head, and press a kiss to it.

"You're a little fool, too. But I love you."

Louis turned to Anne and noticed she was gone, making Louis lean into Harry for a comforting kiss.

It never happened.

Harry pulled back and let Louis lips puckered up into thin air, eyes widened with more tears coming down.

"W-We cant."

Louis didn't understand at first either, Anne no where to be seen.

It wasn't until he remembered why they were like this in the first place that he rested his head against Harry's chest and began to cry.

"W-We.....we cant." he whispered back and Harry nodded.

"We can't baby brother. We can't."


	3. Chapter 3

Harry threw water on his face and stared into the mirrors reflection, the white around his pupils, vanished, and leaving a pool of blood which represented what Harry wanted to be surrounded by at this moment.

His blood.

Laying on the floor of his house with his broken soul away from the person he loved the most and was banned from being with.

Louis.

His brother.

He cringed at the thought, and tried to make any sense of why what ever god above was watching them, had let it go on for this long, pushed him in deep as he could, just to get pulled out again and get shoved in his face that his lover was forbidden.

Not just morally,

but by the Law.

He bit his lip as he thought about all the moments they shared and felt goosebumps rise to his skin, still having every memory engraved in his mind.

Every touch.

Every taste.

Every glance.

Every stolen kiss.

Every time he went in deeper and deeper into him as he sinked his teeth into the skin and felt the younger boy vibrate under him with pleasure.

Harry let out a choked sob and backed away from the mirror, clutching his chest which now burned physically.

He'd done so much.

He'd said too much.

He'd felt too much.

But knew so little at the time.

Harry closed his eyes and shook his head, not wanting to see it anymore, not wanting to feel it anymore, but with every darkness, a pair of blue eyes appeared and called for help.

He closed his eyes and failed to forget how he had thrown his own brother to the ground when he was opening a bedroom door that could have been his in the first place.

He'd failed to forget the way he screamed at his own brother for being an embarrassment at school and making him feel he didn't belong there or at home, although he did in the first place.

He'd failed to forget kidnapping him and dragging him to the closet where he stole his first teenage kiss.

He'd fail to forget taking advantage of his clueless state in the back of his car that school afternoon.

He'd fail to forget those love marks he planted on his skin when they should have never been there, ever.

He'd fail to forget those stolen kisses when he sneaked into bed all those nights and cuddled until the sun rose again.

He'd fail to forget when he was finally only his again and touched him in places only a lover to another should have known about.

He'd fail to forget how great his fingers felt as he moved in and out, his mouth and wrist up and down, his hand lower and lower as he got Louis mouth around him.

And He'd fail to forget how every inch of Louis heated skin felt under his that night and on the beach, where he took the last bit of innocence left.

He'd fail to forget everything.

He'd never forget.

Harry wanted to scream as loud as he could, but halted his actions when someone beat him to it and he was running towards the door.

He walked out the restroom and two familiar, roaring voices boomed in his ears, the sound coming from possibly the living room.

Harry walked and picked up the pace when he heard a little whimper and his mother saying 'That's enough'

Harry walked into the living room and felt his blood in his veins boil again with the sight of the two faces he least wanted to see.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" E.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!"

Harry approached the three boys in the middle of the living room, and was stopped when William rose from the couch and stood in The boys way. Harry tried to push him but failed, just seeing as tears ran Louis eyes while he was being picked up from his shirt with Edward's finger on his chest.

"EDWARD, LET HIM GO!"

"Oh ho ho...look who finally decided to show up. William, get Lou."

Edward put Louis down on the couch and both boys switched places, Edward approaching a low tempered Harry. William sat on the couch next to Louis and took him in his lap, patting his back as the boy sobbed into his chest.

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT MY BROTHER? LET HIM GO. LOUIS, COME TO ME."

Edward scoffed and with full force, pushed Harry until he landed on his arse on the floor, Anne panicking and yelling at him to not hurt the curly haired boy while Meredith beside her held Anne.

"YOU ARE NOT HIS BROTHER!! A BROTHER DOESN'T ALMOST LEAD LOUIS TO HIS DEATH BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE A STUPID LITTLE FUCK AND POINT A GUN TO HIS HEAD. WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!"

Harry tried to get off the ground but Edward pushed him down again, and grabbed him from his shirt.

"NO ONE TOLD HIM TO PICK UP THE GLASS, HE DID IT HIMSELF BC HE WAS BEING THE LITTLE STUBBORN SHIT HE ALWAYS IS, EDWARD!"

"I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT HE DID, THE POINT IS, YOU LED HIM TO IT, AND YOU SHOULD BE GLAD THE CUT DIDN'T GO IN DEEPER BECAUSE I WOULD PROBABLY BE IN JAIL RIGHT NOW!"

"Eddie, calm down brother, please."

"SHUT THE HELL UP WILLIAM!"

"Boys, boys..please calm down." Meredith murmured and Harry used Edward's distraction to get up off the floor.

"Mum, I think we should take Louis back with us to me and Williams flat. This isn't no place for him."

"No!" Anne and Harry both shouted in unison, and Louis sobs grew louder in the background.

"He's my little brother Edward, and he's staying here with us!"

Edward snapped his head back to Harry and raised his fists, before getting pulled back by William and getting something whispered in his ear. Edward turned around and glanced at Louis who was now curled up in a ball, and Edward let his fists fall, walking toward the younger boy and taking him in his arms.

William now stood in front of a red faced Harry and glared at him back.

"You know you've been the only type of Guidance Louis had, right? so why in the world would you think Trying to Kill yourself wouldn't trigger Lou here? Are you stupid?"

Harry sniffed and wiped away his dried tears, and shook his head.

"Me and Edward would be glad to take him away, seeing as finding out he's Anne's son would lead you to commit suicid-"

"I didn't try to kill meself bc he would be a terrible brother, if that's what your thinking William."

"Then why the hell you try and do it?!"

Harry let his gaze go over to Louis and he felt a million tugs at his heart as he saw the smaller boy shake his head and bury his face in Edward's neck.

He understood.

"I dunno...........I-I went into a state a shock."

William scoffed and shook his head, pulling at his hair before approaching Harry closer and touching his chest.

"If I find out this happens again, or if something happens to Louis...."

William took a deep breath and in the back, appeared Edward taking the lead and motioning William to go back to Louis side.

"...you better hope its not your fault because then, were going to have a real problem."

Edward glares as he turns around and walks toward Louis, Harry left dumbfounded in the middle of the living room with his mom crying on his aunt's Merediths chest and Louis in between the twin brothers.

Harry looks around and sees no type of backing up, not even his own mother.

Harry's about to say something when Louis interrupts his and realizes the withdrawal is coming faster than he thought.

"H-Harry, c-can you take y-your stuff out my room. I-I want to sleep alone like b-before."

Harry turns around and walks upstairs in defeat, crying as he takes all his stuff out the dressers and Louis closet, and head backs to Gemmas room.

~~~~~~~~~~

Its past midnight and Harry hasn't been able to sleep, the feeling of a empty space beside him something he isn't used to and the absence of warmth, a cruel pain to his heart.

He lays in his bed and wipes away the tears as he hears two rooms next to him as his brother does the same, the sound of Louis opening and closing the door to his restroom now a melody recorded into Harry's head.

He probably can't sleep either.

Harry assumes and theorizes that, it must be for the same reason, the absence of Harry's body all over Louis smaller one at night, not enough to keep him warm.

After the sixth time Louis is opening and closing his restroom door, Harry can't handle it and climbs out of bed, walking towards his younger brothers room and slowly opening the door where he is able to peek through  small crevice. He closes his eyes as he sees the smaller boy at the edge of his bed, knees to his chest, while he sits down and stares out into nothing.

Harry can see he's been crying by the way Louis cheeks sparkle under the moonlight which climbs through the window on the far off corner of the room.

Without thinking, Harry pushes the door open and the smaller boy flinches with the uninvited  
guest.

The smaller boy shakes his head, and Harry can see hes beginning to cry again, the cause: seeing Harry's appearance.

It hurts the older boy, but he continues anyway, until hes sitting down next to Louis on the bed.

"P-Please go. P-Please."

"So now you dont want me to stay?"

"No! no, not in that way. I-I just cant look at you right now. It doesn't make anything easier."

"It isnt easy for me too, you know?"

Harry frowns at Louis and the smaller boy looks away.

"Louis. This isn't the End."

"Not the end of the world, but it's the end of us."

Louis voice cracks on the last word and Harry is once again reminded about their standing position, and he wishes he hadn't been reminded.

"I can still love You."

"You can't."

"Yes I can. I know I can. I know because I still do."

"But it's wrong Harry, its so wro-"

"There's nothing wrong with loving a brother. William loves Edward.......I-I can love you that way too."

Harry hesitantly reaches out and pats Louis back, hoping he isnt' crossing the line, although he's passed that line months ago.

"But I dont want you to love me in that way...I want you to love...... me."

"I can't....we cant."

"I know. and that's why I want you to go."

"Edward and William used to sleep in the same bed when they were younger. Thats brotherly. We dont have to separate completely. A-A little cuddling isnt that ba-"

"I dont want to cuddle with you Harry."

"But Lo-"

"After we cuddle, one of our body parts always ends up somewhere inside the others and....W-We did that Harry....and turns out were..."

Louis eyes widen and he gets off the bed and runs towards the restroom, slamming his door on the way in before he screams and other noises come out of him.

"Louis! are you al-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE HARRY!, GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM! I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU!"

so Harry does, ends up sleeping at 6 am when hes supposed to wake up at 7, and the tears on his face hasn't stopped spreading.

~~~~~~~

When Anne knocks on Harry's door to ask if hes going to school, he groans as he mumbles a yes and begins to get dressed.

Its friday and he hasn't picked up his cap and gown and he graduates tomorrow and he moans at what a long, dreadful week it has been.

He has the urge to go check on Louis While he heads down the stairs but the words from Louis last night are still stuck in his head and he decides against it, to his surprise, Louis already seated in the morning table seat talking to his mother who's sat across the table.

"Morning Blue.."

Harry calls out for Louis, but Louis merely glances and drops his head, and Harry feels guilty because, hes sure hes lost Louis by now too.

"Well if your thinking of staying home Louis, we might as well use this time efficiently and head over to the doctor.

"F-For what?"Both Louis and Harry say in unison and the younger boy blushes for no reason. Anne looks between the two awkwardly and sets her attention back to the smaller boy.

"Well now that you know most of the truth, I dont have to do things behind your back anymore. Louis, the court day arranged isn't to approve your adoption papers, I dont need them, for, I am your mother and you belong to me regardless. I am going to court to fight for full custody against your dad, and the case nearly has all the evidence, except, I need a DNA Test to prove, you are my son and your Testimony against your father."

"Testimony?"

"Yes, a testimony. I have proof Haley committed the crime and now, I just need you to confess to the jury that your father has been present through your first 5 years of life so he can labeled as an accomplice, and go to Jail too"

"Too? What do you mean, too? Where's my mummy?"

Harry stands at the back quiet as Louis face falls even further than it was before and Anne fiddles in her seat, nervously.

"Im right here..."

"No, my mummy. Mummy that took care of me all that tim-"

"You mean mummy who kidnapped you and doesn't deserve the title of Mummy because she's a threat to this society."

Louis drops his spoon on his cereal pate and covers his mouth, tears once again running down his pale cheeks.

"My mummy is in Jail?"

Anne nods and Louis shakes his head, covering his face while Harry tries to reach out and comfort him, but he's swatted away.

"I want to go to school."

"But Louis, we need to go get your DNA test so we ca-"

"Didn't you just hear what he said mom? he wants to go to school. We can go all together later if that makes Louis feel better. is that okay with you....Louis?"

Harry's glaring at Anne but his stare softens once he sees Louis for once, nods his head.

~~~~~~

Louis can't help but feel like he's slowly falling apart once he walks into the building and notices, his brother isn't beside him anymore, clearly parting his way and having no need to escort Louis to class anymore

Louis feels a little upset, but he decides , its in both of their best interest if they do, and so Louis manages to go to his first 3 periods by himself with no bother from anyone, and surprisingly, not even Niall.

Niall asked him what was wrong when class started but Louis could tell, his threat to be left alone was enough to keep Niall silent for the rest of the period until it ends, and strangely, Niall isnt heading the direction he's usually headings when lunch begins.

"What's er ...wrong Louis? Ye didn't laugh at my whoopie cushion joke dis time."

"Sorry Niall, wasn't feeling it today."

"Are ye really still sick ? I thought yer Step Mom was jokin when she said Harry and you got some bug."

She's not my step mom after all, Louis wants to comment but keeps it to himself.

"G-Got what?"

"Will ya missed the whole week! She said you two were sick."

Louis is caught off guard for a moment before catching on and the pit of his stomach growing nauseous, just thinking what this week was actually filled with.

"Oh right...yea...im still sick."

"Well ye could have at least texted back! we were all worried!"

Louis apologizes and pats himself down before realizing, he doesnt have his phone on him. 

Great

 

He gives Niall an apologetic smile and the boy understands, getting into the lunch line behind Louis and both the boys choosing steak sandwiches for lunch.

"Where'd you end up going after prom anyway Louis? you and Harry disappeared. sneaky bastards."

Louis felt the hairs in his neck right and the tears in his eyes suddenly ache to come out. He shakes his head and looks away, not wanting to let Niall know how hes really feeling inside.

"Home. he was mad for some stupid reason and we went home."

"Oh. that sucks."

"What about Zayn and Liam? er yea....had fun?"

Louis scanned throughout the cafeteria, possibly looking for a pair of green eyes but saw none, the wolf pack berly arriving and only Stan and Nick at the table.

"They had a awesome time. Scared all of us for a bit though. during one of the slow songs, Zayn got on his knee, pulled a small box out, and almost made everyone pass out."

Louis eyes widened and he turned back to Niall about to comment, but the blonde haired boy shook his head and laughed.

"Its not what ye think, trust me, we all thought the same too. Turns out he only wanted to ask Liam properly to be his boyfriend and gave him a matching diamond bracelet to his. Liams a lucky lad."

"Oh jesus... what a crazy proposal story that would have been."

"Tell me about it, ye should have seen Liams face! Well sorta...Liam ended up passing out when Zayn took the box out and he didnt wake up till five minutes later. Zayn had to ask Liam out in the nurses office at the end and got a slapped to the head afterwards from Li. He said yes though. was pretty cute though."

"You wouldn't have happened to record this iconic moment, would you?"

"Afraid not."

Louis sighed and let out small chuckle, before sitting down at his table where everyone begin attacking him with questions.

"Did you loose your charger or what?!"

"Where you been at bro?"

"You could have at least warned us or wrote a letter?!"

"Sophia, no one writes letters in this generation?!"

"Yes they do! Mum always gets them in the mail."

"Those are bills, Sophia."

"Where'd you go after prom Louis?!"

Louis answered all the questions, one at a time, and ended his speech with a congratulations to Liam for his official boyfriend.

"Thank you so much Louis."

Liams smile reached his ears and Louis couldn't help but feel a little envious, Liam got to enjoy it without any troubles.

"So...how are you and Harry?"

Niall beside Louis asked in a whisper, knowing not everyone in the crew knew besides him and Liam. Louis dropped his fork and felt his stomach clench again.

He stayed in silence for a while and turned once again towards the table where his brother sat and felt his heart shatter for the hundredth time in 24 hours when Harry was already staring back with a frown on his face.

We cant.

"Its over Niall. No more."

"Wh-"

"I don't want him and he doesn't want me."

"Who doesn't want you?"

Danielle asked and Louis tensed, cursing his emotions for getting the best of him.

Louis remained in dead silence as the whole table stared and there was an awkward cough beside him.

"Er...Louis found a hurt bird at his er house while he was at home sick. He.....he said the bird came for food for a couple of days but then just left. He used Louis. he didnt want to be friends with him......so louis doesn't want him any more either."

The table blinked a couple of times before bursting out into laughter, expect for Liam and Niall who shared a look on between them.

"Awwww Louis....how cute."

"Fuck that bird Louis, a new one will come along. maybe better."

"Maybe he didn't like the food. liked the neighbors seed pile better."

"Maybe...."

Louis replied back and the table began to laugh again.

"But I loved that bird." 

Louis whispered to himself and stuffed his mouth with peaches that now tasted horrible. He Ignored the way Niall looked at him for a couple of minutes before realizing, something was missing.

He looked back to his brothers table and watched as the blonde made her way to one of the empty seats next to Luke and set her tray down.

"Niall....why is Barbara over there?"

"We broke up."

Louis eyebrows furrowed and turned his attention back to Niall, who simply shrugged and stuffed his mouth with his almost finished steak sandwich.

"Why?"

"Cause I Like Dick a little better. Oops?"

Niall smiled with a mouth full a lettuce and Louis couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you serious? Did you tell her that?"

"Yea, it was an accident really. I was play texting with Liam and accidentally texted that to her instead and she replied back with its over and yea...living the single life since Monday."

Louis turned to Liam and he raised his hands in the air.

"Its not my fault he wanted to text dirtyly."

"You two are sick."

Louis accused and all the boys laughed, along with the girls overhearing their conversation.

Louis turned unintentionally again towards the table and was left jaw dropped when he watched the petit brunette sit on the brown haired boys lap and place a kiss on his lips.

"Eleanors dating Nick?!"

"Oh yeah...striped girl there finally found a mate. weird huh."

"But I thought Nick was...you know."

"We did to, but apparently we knew wrong."

"Is there anything else that happened while i was gone? apparently I missed all the juicy things in less than a week."

"No and hopefully next time, you learn its best not to miss school."

"Fine. Fine."

Louis chuckled and stood up to throw his tray away, but Niall beat him too it and offered to dump it for him. Louis tried to decline but Liam convinced the boy to let the irish boy do his duty, obviously doing the gesture because Louis was 'sick' and didn't need any more energy sucked out of him.

"Thanks Nialler."

"Anything for you tommo."

The conversation continued along and Louis felt the pit of his stomach twist when niall set one hand over his on the table and smiled. Louis didn't pull away, asking what he was doing, a little confused. Niall leaned into his ear and whispered, not wanting the rest of the table to hear.

"I know you're not really sick you know. No sign of fever or loss of appetite. Just a couple of swollen eyes and dried up tears you forgot to wipe this morning. It's okay, I won't tell and no one can blame you if a broken heart was the reason for yer stay at home. Cheer up Louis, you can find someone better. I'll be here if you need anything."

Niall finished with a simple kiss to the cheek and thumb caressing to the skin, which Louis sniffled at and buried his face in nialls chest. Niall wrapped his arms around him and the whole tabled cooed, completely oblivious to the fact that Louis was crying on Nialls blue tank.

~~~~~

Louis was the main target in Fridays last class in the afternoon, Gym. With no brother in sight or to be seen, all the older boys threw his dodgeballs at Louis, and to the smaller boys fortune, he dodge every single one of them and was the first one running out the class when the End of School Bell, rung.

"Jerks"

Louis mumbled as he walked to the parking lot in search of his brothers car, which was missing from his previous spot this morning, leaving a confused Louis sitting on the pavement.

Louis looked around, clueless to the time and watched as everyone left the parking lot one by one until there was a couple of vehicles left and he was sure it belonged to the Faculty and Staff.

Louis checked in his pocket for his phone but remembered from earlier, he didn't know where the device was, leaving him phoneless and unable to call Harry or Mum to pick him up.

Louis frowned as his brain called Anne mum and made a mental note not to think that again.

Louis stood up from the floor when a car swerved into the parking lot with Mickey Cyrus 'We can't stop' on full blast and made an illegal turn before honking.

Louis raised his hands and yelled what the fuckk at Harry who just shook his head back and forth with some shades on and ignored Louis.

Louis made his way around the car and when opened the door, he was almost blasted away with the volume Harry had the song playing.

"Turn it down!" Louis yelled and Harry laughed, shaking his head.

"TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!!!"

Harry yelled back before making another careless turn and making Louis body lunge forward before hitting the window.

Harry looked over and laughed at Louis desperate attempt to put on his seatbelt and found Louis yelling to slow down, amusing.

"Faster you say? FASTER!! VROOM VROOM MOTHERFUCKKERSSS!!"

Harry hit the gas pedal and ran the red lights and Louis screamed, turning down the Volume of the car and clutching at his heart that was seconds away from beating out his chest.

"Harry, Harry stop!"

"AND WE CANT STOP. AND WE WONT STOP.!!!!"

"Harry stop!!!"

"LOOSEN UP BABY BROTHER. IM,JUST HAVING SOME FUN!!"

"HARRY, YOURE GOING TO GET US KILLED!!"

Louis looked out the window and shrieked as he saw other cars trying to dodge Harry's out of control range rover and honked loudly for passing the lights.

Louis looked over and sniffed the air, letting his eyes inspect all the car before finding what he was looking for around Harry's shoes.

"are you drunk?!"

"ARE YOU A HUMAN?!"

"oh my g- Pull over pull over, youre going to get us killed!"

"IM SKILLED YOU SAY?! YES I AM LOUIS, YES I AM. AM I AS SKILLED AS A NIALL OR IS HE BETTER? YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT. YOU WANTED TO DIE WITH ME YESTERDAY, SO YOU PICK. OVER THE BRIDGE OR INTO A TREE?"

Harry laughed and grabbed his bottle from the cup holder and tipped it to Louis, who looked at him in disbelief and began to cry.

"Harry, take me home! take me home!"

"Aw cmon Louis, I was just playing. Im going to the senior party errr....tonight. your coming with me!"

"NO! TAKE ME HOME!"

"HOME IS WHERE IM WITH YOUUUUU. Is that how the song goes?"

Louis shrieked as Harry let the wheel go and they knocked down a couple of trashcans before getting back on the road.

"HARRY, TAKE ME HOME, IM SCARED. PLEASE TAKE ME HOME."

"But Loui-"

"TAKE ME HOME DAMMIT!!"

Harry's shades fell off as he hit the break harshly, almost crashing into a car in front of him he hadn't seen. 

He blinked a couple of times before turning to the smaller figure next to him, and feeling very awful when he noticed there was a new mark on Louis neck, a seatbelt burn his younger brother tried to caress and flinched when he touched it.

"Lou! are you o-"

"Take me home Harry. Take me home before I call the own police on you."

The smaller boy bit his lip and let the tears fall. Harry nodded and drived as careful and slowly as he could on his way back home.

When he tried to reach for his drink, Louis snatched it from his hand, and chugged it dow himself, before throwing it out the window and screaming at Harry that he hated him.

Harry nodded and gave him the last one he had, which Louis took and chugged it down too, ignoring the horrible feeling in his throat.

"You burned the shit out of my neck anyway, might as well burn my throat too."

Harry remained silent, shaky hands on the wheel as he pulled outside his house and parked.

"Get out the car."

"No, im still going to the party."

"Harry, you're drunk."

"And you're a wuss, so get out my car!"

Louis gasped, upset, and slammed the car door as Harry drove away.

Harry looked back in the rear view mirror at the stop sign but didn't bother going back when he saw Louis throwing up on the road.

He said it himself.

He hated him anyway.

~~~~~~~

Louis sat on the couch with shaky palms and sweaty fingers as he checked the clock and the time read 3:17am.

Harry still wasn't home and his mother didn't bother much looking into it, telling Louis the boy he might have stayed at a friend's since it was their last goodbye party and Harry would be graduating in a couple of hours.

But Louis couldn't let it go, knowing the state Harry was in when he had last seen him and the idea of Harry getting into a car accident the last thing he would ever wish upon anyone, even a jerk like him.

He didn't mean to tell Harry he hated him.

He just hated the way he almost had a life death threatening experience and Harry saw it all as a joke.

What if that car hadn't stopped.

What if the cars break would of had failed.

What if it had been a child they hit instead of a trash can.

Louis didnt think it had been funny, so he sat in his banana pyjamas, one Harry had specifically picked out on one of their shopping days and clutched at his teddy bear that he had brought from the orphanage.

He only took him out when he was desperate for comfort, and this was a perfect time, with Anne asleep in her room.

Louis heard a car pull up into the driveway and ran to the door, peeking through the little hole for any sign of Harry...

or a policeman.

Not able to see anything, the younger boy ran upstairs and went into his sisters Gemma's room, knowing the window there had a Perfect view of the driveway.

He looked down and saw a blurry figure in Harry's car, but not clear enough to see if it was Harry.

Louis ran back to his room and grabbed his glasses off the night drawer, before heading back to the window and looking out again into the car.

"That's Harry Alright...."

Louis took off his glasses and trudged back to his room, where he climbed into bed, took his glasses off, and cried himself to sleep with the image of Eleanor being pinned down inside the car with Harry kissing her on top.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun shined through the Guest Room where Harry had decided to crash the previous night,  long haired brunette by his side.

It was finally the day that he would walk across the stage and get his diploma, proving to everyone who thought he couldn't do it, Harry Styles was more than just a pretty face in the halls.

He groaned feeling Eleanor sliding onto him and shook his head, feeling worn out from the previous night. Eleanor ignored him and slid up and down Harry, which the older boy ultimately agreed to and thrusted up into her, eyes still closed and just enjoying the feeling at the bottom of his stomach.

"god...you're tighter than yesterday."

At least she was taking care of his morning wood.

Harry felt something next to him move and suddenly, he had a face full of strawberry scented hair. Harry's eyes snapped open,  and looked next to him, seeing the back of Eleanor's head facing him and hearing her little snores.

"What the fu-"

Harry slapped his hand over his mouth and watched as Louis brought his hand up and told him to 'shh', all while he bounced on his cockk and tugged his smaller one repeatedly.

Harry shook his head and sat up, trying to raise the smaller boy off of him, but Louis refused clawing onto his back so their bodies remained connected.

Harry turned, sweat now on his forehead with how nervous he was that Eleanor could wake up any second.  Harry turned back to the smaller boy and shook his head again, feeling so wrong and settling for whispers.

"Louis, what are you doing?!"

"I had to."

"No! Get off of me and go back to your room. for fuck sakes, you're completely naked, anyone can see you!"

"Just let me have this Harry, let me have it this morning."

"No! Please, get off and go. this is wrong."

"Harry, I need some type of closure."

"Wh-"

"This is my goodbye to you so please.......dont stop."

Louis glanced at the sleeping girl before turning back and smashing his lips to Harry's, which the older boy hesitated to take until Louis was trying to bounce again and he let his body take over.

He kissed back for a couple of seconds before turning to glance at his girlfriend and beginning to thrust up, while Louis rested his head on his shoulder and watched her too.

The bed shook and shook , and Louis occasionally bit into Harry's shoulders as he felt the older boy touch all of his walls. 

Louis watched the girl and Halted his actions when he remembered who Harry had slept with it. Harry frowned a little when Louis began to pull Way, slamming into the smaller boy one last time and having his face being pulled.

"W-Wait. Please tell me you used a condom with her."

Harry eyebrows furrowed before his eyes widened and he was nodding his head repeatedly.

"God, of course. Yes, god Yes. Always. Never touched any ones skin but you. only you."

"O-Only me?"

"Only you."

Louis didn't know if that was something appropriate to smile about, and neither did Harry, but Louis shoved the thought away and continued his actions, Harry sighing in relief as Louis began to spread his legs again.

Minutes Later, Harry was releasing himself into Louis, not handling how wet he was and the smaller boy did the same, all over Harry's stomach.

Louis rested his head on Harry's chest as he tried to calm his shaky breath down, and the older boy mimicked his actions on top of Louis head.

They both turned one last time and glanced at Eleanor who was sound asleep, turned away from them and  completely clueless to what had occurred.

Louis lifted himself off the boy when he regained his strength, climbing down the bed and picking up the small Banana patterned towel he had came in earlier and wrapped it around his body

Harry felt the shivers overtake his body as he realized what he had done, and whom he had done it what, gulping when the smaller figure turned towards the exit of the door with his body all flushed, sweaty, and marked.

All weekends marks still hadn't left Louis skin, the purple and pink bruising he'd left on last Saturday still noticeable on Louis back, shoulders, and legs.

Louis opened the door and stepped out, turning one last time with tears in his eyes and a small smile.

"Goodbye Harry."

~~~~~~~~~

Louis, Eleanor, Harry, and Anne sat in the dining table in silence while they ate their breakfast at the Styles Residence. 

Harry glanced at Louis

Louis Glanced at Eleanor

Eleanor glanced at Harry

Harry glanced at Eleanor

Eleanor Glanced at Louis

Louis glanced at Harry 

And Anne sat in the table baffled that no one turned to look at her, feeling a little uncomfortable with the eye contact.

"So Harry.....why didn't you tell me you were back with Eleanor?

Anne tried to end the silence, while Louis dropped his head and continued eating his lucky charm cereal.

"Well we just got together yesterday....unless you wanted me to wake you up at 3 in the morning  to tell you the news."

"Teenagers you are..."

Anne smiled at both of them and Eleanor smiled back, eating her egg omelette.

Louis got up from the table to put his dish in the sink, and that definitely got Eleanors attention, the older girl frowning.

"Louis...why are you walking like you have something stuck in your butt?"

Louis felt his cheeks tint and Harry choked on his waffles, Anne dropping her cereal spoon before awkwardly chuckling.

Louis turned Around and glared at her, wanting no more than to punch her in the face.

"Dunno. Why don't you ask Harry?"

"What?"

Harry coughed Louder and Eleanor turned to Her Boyfriend, while Anne looked between all of them.

"What Louis meant to say was....I accidentally hit him yesterday in his thigh....so it hurts. right louis?"

"Harry, how could you hit your brother?!"

"Well He asked for it..."

Harry dropped his head and Louis brushed it off, trying to walk out the room before he heard a doorbell ring.

Louis turned his direction and Harry raised his head, wondering why his aunts were coming home when they should be headed towards the reception of his school.

"Who's that?"

"Louis borrowed my phone to call one of his friends so he could accompany him to your graduation ceremony." Anne commented and Harry felt his heart began to beat faster.

"That's lovely of him." Eleanor commented and Anne agreed, previous discussion completely forgotten.

Harry wasn't surprised when Louis appeared in the doorway with his arm around the boy in some slacks and button up shirt.

"Goodmorning Dear Styles. Hope you are having a lovely day so far. And congratulations to both of you, El and Harry."

"Thanks Niall!"

Eleanor Chirped and Harry stayed silent, eyes locked with Louis who just held on tighter to the blonde haired boys arm.

"Goodbye Louis."

Harry murmured and both the women and Niall were confused on what he meant, 

but Louis knew.

Louis gave him a nod before disappearing with Niall down to the living room and ignoring the sound of Harry dumping his breakfast in the sink.

~~~~~

"This Will be the last time we set a foot in this school my fellow peers. Last time we will see all of each others faces in the halls or classes or in extra curricular activities. The very last time."

Harry groaned as Cindy, the valedictorian of the school finished giving her speech and the principal moved on to handing the diplomas.

He hadn't really been paying attention for the last hour when the speaking guests arrived, too bored out of his mind with motivational talks that they could succeed in college and how they would get far in life and yada yada yada. He instead spent his time glancing over to the side seats where Louis and his family were in the front row intrigued by the bullshit these people were feeding them about how they had just started their lives and whatnot.

He was more interested in the way Niall placed his hand on Louis thigh and Louis let him.

He was more interested in the way Niall placed his hand on top of Louis and Louis let him.

He was more interested in the way Niall entwined his fingers with Louis and Louis let him.

How dare Louis let Niall hold his hand. Were they even dating?

Harry turned his attention to the stage when he heard Eleanors name being called and oh sweet corn nibblets, they were barely on the letter C.

Harry turned around and began to chuckle as he saw Zayn half asleep with his mouth hanging open in his seat. He turned around and grabbed some of the popcorn Timmy next to him had managed to sneak in under his robe and threw some at his best friend, Zayn shaking in his seat when he felt Something hit his head.

Zayn woke up and glared at Harry, throwing the popcorn back and Harry quietly laughed, not being able to take the boy seriously with the popcorn stuck in his quiff.

He turned towards the seat and made a oops face when he noticed his mother was staring right at him with a angry face and Louis was next to her giggling away.

God, how beautiful did he look giggling.

Harry turned back and noticed his row was standing up to get in line, doing the same and heading towards the stage.

a couple of kids later, Harry was being called onto the stage and there was a roar of cheering coming from Every direction. From where Zayn was standing, from where the seats were positioned in and his friends were saying stupid things, and where the parents were, were Anne and surprisingly, his father were stood up clapping, but who cared,

because Louis was standing up too and screaming his name and it was the best thing he'd felt all morning.

~~~~~

"Congrats young Harry. Really proud of you bro."

William pulls in Harry for a Hug as he makes his way around the table at Rossos, where the Styles Family has agreed to a lovely lunch in celebration of Harry's accomplishment.

Harry murmurs a thanks as Edward pulls him into an awkward hug as well and repeats what William says in different wording.

"Yeah, congrats little Harry. Very proud."

Harry murmurs a thanks and the process continues until 7 aunts, 5 uncles, 19 cousins, a mother and his father have their turn. Louis is the last one to congratulate him but settles for a small wave before getting pulled away by Edward to the other end of the table.

They all make small conversation and ask Harry what he plans to do next, and although hes pretty sure his mom already told his family, he decides to play along the great student and relative.

"I got accepted to Princeton."

"What the hell? Really?"

Apparently not as William at the end of the table peeks interest.

"Um...Yeah. Start in 4 months."

"Oh my god...Harry. You're actually really smart."

Harry scoffs and rolls his eyes at the end of the table.

"W-Whats Princeton?"

Louis little voice sounds at the end of the table and Edward begans to laugh, though the poor smaller boy really doesn't know.

"Louis, Princeton is one of the most prestigious schools in America. An ivy league school, such as Yale or Harvard."

"W-Wait, what? What do you mean America?"

Louis looks away from Edward and glances all the way across the table, where Harry has his mouth pursed into a thin line.

"You're leaving to America?"

"Of course he is Louis, why wouldn't he attend college?"

"But that's so far away!"

"Louis, is there a problem?" Anne speaks up and the whole Style Family now has his eyes on Louis, and damn, this was a conversation Harry was trying to avoid. Louis looks back defeated and Harry can't help but feel the same pain in his heart.

"D-Do you....uh...do you not want me to go?"

"Of course not."

"Louis!" Anne raised her voice and Louis flinched, not realizing how selfish he was sounding. 

"How can you say that to your brother. He's headed towards great things."

"M'sorry."

"It's ok mum. There's other schools near Cheshire too."

"Are you insane?!"

Anne snapped at Harry and Harry glared back, not liking his mothers tone.

"No. im just sayin-"

"You're going to Princeton. Not everyone can get accepted into such a-"

"Didn't you just hear Louis? He doesn't want me to go so I'm not going!"

"Hazza, you don-"

"Its ok Lou, dont listen to her."

"I am his mother!"

"Barely." Harry murmured and Anne gasped, very offended. The whole table glanced at each other a little startled. 

"Its okay if you dont want to go to Princeton Harry. Anne has no authority in telling you what to do."

"But Daniel!"

"Annette, dont."

The tension in the air skyrocketed even the waiter seemed unease.

"Thanks Dad."

Harry murmured and Harry's father nodded.

"Im sure if you can get into Princeton, any of these schools would glad to have you."

"How can you support such a thing Daniel, You're encouraging him to throw his care-"

"Because he's My son and that's what I'm supposed to do. Support him on whatever he chooses because its his life."

"Bravo Daniel. Father of the Year."

"Can you two just drop it already. I still have 3 more months and I'd fancy if you two weren't fighting during this 'celebration'. Sucky ass celebration its begun as."

Harry snapped and both Anne and Harry's father became silent while another figure approached them.

"So...what would you guys like to drink?"

~~~~~~

"You're coming with us...right?"

Harry climbed into his car, eyebrows furrowed as Louis glanced between his mothers car and Harry's parked outside the restaurant.

"Coming where?"

"T-To the doctor with us....t-to go get my Dna test. I-I dont like needles."

"Louis, cmon, lets go!"

Anne shouted from her car and Harry was confused.

"I didn't know you guys were going today."

"Oh."

"Louis. cmon honey."

"Mum, Louis coming in my car. We'll meet you there."

"What? No baby, you go out and enjoy your day. Aren't your friends doing any type of party today?"

"No, everyone's out with their family. Im coming anyway. Louis needs me."

"Louis is a big boy Ha-"

"Louis, get in the car."

Harry glares at his mother, and Anne sighs in defeat, climbing in her car.

Harry starts his car and realises a little too late what he's done.

Louis and Him once again, alone.

Fuck.

The car ride to the doctors behind Anne is silent, and both boys occasionally glance at each other to ease the tension.

It doesnt happen.

They pull up and Both boys get off in silence, Anne taking a hold of Louis hand and leading him into the hospital.

They wait in the waiting room for about 50 minutes before getting called in. Harry can see the smaller boy is already squirming as he walks into the white room with a couple of posters put up and all the equipment they need to take blood samples.

Anne sits down on the small bed first and asks Louis to sit next to him. Louis declines, offering to wait until she's done and scoots closer to Harry.

Harry pulls in Louis and rubs his hand up and down his back, until the doctor finally comes in and makes small talk with Anne and starts the procedure.

"im just going to take blood samples, send them to the assigned lab and in about a month, the results will be sent to your home along with the data confirming whether the boy here contains the same DNA. Sound simple?"

"Yes doctor."

Anne stays quiet as the needle is inserted into her arm and there's blood being withdrawn. The doctor places the sample in a tube, labels it with Anne's information, and sends her out the room so she can go get her contract signed in the main desk.

"Louis...Tomlinson?"

The doctor next reads out the sheet and Louis is shaking his head, backing away from the needle the old man is holding.

"I-I can't."

"Cmon Louis, it wont hurt, I promise."

"No Harry, I can't."

"Yes you can Louis. You're brave."

Louis shakes his head and tries to move away towards the door.

"Is there a problem?"

"No, there isnt....Cmon Louis, climb onto the bed."

"No."

Louis shakes his head and Harry sighs.

"What if I do it first...ill tell you if it hurts or not. I swear it doesn't. Would that make you feel better?"

Louis glances between the doctor and him and slowly nods.

"So you too young man?"

"Uh...yeah. Names Harry Styles."

"Harry Edward Styles, correct?"

"Yes..."

Harry pats Louis back and moves to the bed, where he holds his arm out and gets the needle injected, and Louis eyes widen as he sees the blood being withdrawn. He turns to Harry's face and sees it has no emotion, and he calms a bit down.

"You're all set. Do you want me to send it to the lab?"

"You might as well."

"Alright. Louis, you're Next."

Harry holds out his hand and Louis hesitantly takes it as he climbs onto the bed. Harry tries to pull away but cant, Louis still gripping onto his hand. he tries not to bring too much attention to it as Louis turns from the man and closes his eyes, not wanting to see.

Harry doesn't want to complain, but he feels his fingers are seconds away from turning purple because of how hard Louis holding onto him.

"All done. Louis Tomlinson, age 14. Correct?"

Louis opens his eyes and sees theres a bandaid over his arm and lets out a huge breath, Harry doing the same as Louis stops squeezing.

"Yes sir."

"Were all done here then. Thank you for your time boys."

The doctors says his farewell and both the boys make their way to the main desk where Anne has filled out all the paper work already and looking at the boys.

Anne approaches them with a smile, yet it falters as soon as she's within eyesight and takes a notice of Harry's arm.

"What is that?"

"Bandaid."

"What for?"

"I thought it was cool."

Anne stared at it before looking away and letting her huge grin appear again.

"Oh! well okay then. You two ready?"

"Were going to go now, right?"

Louis speaks up as Anne is making her way to the hospitals exit and slows down, becoming silent.

"You promised."

"Promised what?"

Harry besides him speaks up and Anne continues her way to her car.

"Anne."

"Louis, I dont understand why you want to see her."

"Because shes my mum!"

Louis eyes begin to water and Harry is confused out of his head, not understanding what is going on between the two.

"Im confused, what did you promise mum?"

"She said if I took the DNA test today, she would take me to see my mom afterwards."

"You did what?!"

Harry raises his voice and Anne sighs, leaning her forehead against the car.

"It was the only way i could convince him to do it."

"You promised Anne, you promised!"

Louis has tears rolling down his eyes now and for once, Harry isn't on his side.

"I agree with my mum on this one, Louis."

"But she promised! You Liar!"

Louis backs away from both Anne and Harry, and the older woman begins to panic, not wanting to trigger the smaller boy more than he already has.

"Okay okay ill take you! Please calm down!"

~~~~~

From the moment Harry stepped Into the Local River Fox Prison, all anger and hate triggered inside the older boy more than it should have been.

Anne signed the papers to allow a phone call meeting between her son and his kidnapper and to say she wasn't the least thrilled, would have been an inaccurate description of the situation.

Anne motions Harry to go in with Louis, for she cant bring it upon herself to see the face of a woman who she once offered everything and was betrayed at the end.

Harry nods although he's not up for the confrontation either, just wanting to make sure Louis has someone to rely on if she turns out to be the monster Louis once described.

Louis stays by Harry's side as they walk in to another guard filled room and are led to a small booth were there is a glass window and a phone set on the table.

Although he won't admit it, Harry knows Louis nervous by the way his hands are shaking by his side and he keeps twitching uncontrollably.

Harry whispers soothing things In his ear and sits him down in front of the glass window, where a speaker rings, and suddenly there is a 'Haley Williams. Report to Window 7."

Louis and Harry wait and wait until there's suddenly a worn out, tired looking woman approaching the window with her Hazel eyes bigger than the size of a planet mars as he stares at both the boys, surprised.

Harry feels his heart in his throat as the oranged hair girl gapes between the two boys and shes suddenly, rushing to sit down and picking up the phone to talk to Louis.

Harry presses the speaker button on the phone and his heart clenches as he remembers the familiar voice echo through his ear canals, making him shudder in full hatred.

"Louis baby, is that you?!"

"Mummy!"

Harry remains silent and glares at the way Louis places his hand on the glass and Haley does the same, trying so hard to touch each other although the window separates them.

"Louis baby, what are you doing here? You shouldn't be here."

"I wanted to see you mummy! I missed you."

Harry feels no sympathy as the woman begins to cry and wipes away her tears, still trying to touch Louis through the glass.

"I missed you too baby, I'm sorry for all I did. I should have never let you go. I was stupid."

"Its okay mummy, I know it wasn't your fault. It's never been your fault."

Harry feels like breaking a table now and wants to scream at the top of his lungs what nonsense is Louis talking about. Of course its her fault.

"Mummy, is it true what they say? Is it true that I dont belong to you? You took me away from them? Please say no."

Harry makes sure to let Haley now when she stares up into his eyes, that hes mentally stabbing her in his mind, feeling betrayed and hurt his own friend could do this to him.

"Im sorry darling.....I-I never meant to hurt you. That family was dysfunctional a-and."

"Dont you feed him lies, Haley. Im right here!"

 

Harry hits the window and Haley backs away, eyes not leaving Harry's before she's gasping and covering her mouth.

"B-Bear? Is that you?"

"My names fucking Harry, not bear! Bear died once you decided to do all this sick shit! How could you!"

 

Harry hits the glass again and Louis whimpering in his seat, trying to get Harry to calm down because the officers are looking their way now and could possibly kick them out.

"M'Sorry Harry...I-I didn't mean to hurt anyone I swear."

"Well you did! After all these years, I blamed myself for his death but turns out, you were the one responsible for his disappearance. My own fucking Nanny!"

"Harry, please dont scream at her."

"You, quiet! im not talking to you right now!"

Harry snaps at Louis and the smaller boy turns back to his mother with tears in his eyes.

Haley notices and glares back at Harry, shaking her head.

"Feel free to scream at me, but not at him! He's done nothing wrong but love! Trust me Harry, I know my son, and if its something I regret, its not realizing sooner how great of a human being he is."

"He's not your damn son! and he s just being the same brat he always is by coming here!"

Harry glares at Haley and the woman turns back to Louis, who has his head down hung in shame.

Haley picks up the phone and knocks on the glass at the very bottom, trying to get Louis attention. The smaller boy raises his head and Haley gives him a small smile.

"Don't be sad little one, he doesn't mean it.He's just very mad at me. I'm sure he loves you."

Louis tries to smile and fails, the words meaning more than she'd ever know.

Harry's about to make another comment when an officer appears behind him and points at the two.

"It's only supposed to be one at a time. One of you needs to leave."

"Harry, can I-"

"There's no way your talking to her on your own. Officer, I'll stay."

"But Harry, shes my m-"

"Don't even say it! You've had your time, now go. GO wait with my mum outside."

"But"

"I said, go!"

Harry raises his voice and Louis tenses, nodding his head while he turns back to the glass and places his hand on the window.

"Ill come back soon Mum. I love you. I'll always love you."

"I love you too my baby boo."

There's tears rolling down Louis eyes as hes escorted out and Harry is left standing watching his brother leave, broken.

It's for the best.

Harry sits down now on the booth, and ends the speaker button, letting the call go directly and only to the phone, where he picks it up and signals Haley to do the same.

She does and looks around to see, they are now more private.

"H-Hi Harry."

"How fucking could you."

Harry spat and without a Louis in sight, let his tears slide down his cheeks. Haley covered her mouth and shook her head, shrugging her shoulders as she let the tears fall too.

"I-Im sorry. I-I had no choice."

"Yes you did! You could have brought him back! You could have placed him back in the stroller after walking around the block, not leaving me waiting for the stupid ninja to come back!"

"Im sorry Harry!"

"Sorry is not going to cut it!"

Harry slammed his fist on the small table and pulled at his curls, while Haley wiped away her tears and continued to cry.

"Im sorry, I-I dont know what to tell you. I was a fool in love.....what could I do."

"Not taken my brother, that's for sure! You dont know how much this changes Haley. You dont understand how much of a wreck you've created in my life!"

"Harry, I know I messed up, but look, im behind bars now! After this trial ends, I'll go back to my cell and you'll go back to life with a little brother you can love endlessly and take care of for the rest of time! I-I always knew you be good at taking care of kids."

"I don't want to be his fucken brother anymore!  
"

"W-What?"

Harry dropped his head and sobbed Loud, shaking.

"Haley, you dont know what you did. I love Louis."

"Im sure Louis loves you too, Bear. you gotta give him sometimes"

"No Haley, I can't. we can't. I didn't know Louis was my brother."

Harry spoke into the phone and looked Haley in the eyes, the woman staring at Harry a little confused.

Harry looked around the room and saw the officers were at a reasonable distance to not hear their conversation and dropped his head once again.

"They're not going to believe you, so I might as well tell you."

"Tell me what? I-I dont understand."

"If you wouldn't have done what you did, I would've had only a brother today. A brother I could love the way other brothers love another but no....you wanted to ruin my life."

"Harry, i care about you! I always have."

"Oh yeah? we'll thanks to you, for the past 5 months ive grown to love my brother ways I shouldn't have and now, all I can see when I close my eyes, is how sweaty he looked under me that one fucking night instead of being the normal brother who should have been setting him up with dates! so yea Haley, a big round of applause to you. Way to fucking go!"

Harry glared at Haley and Haley gasped, dropping her phone. She was quick to snatch it again and shake her head.

"Y-You love Louis?"

"More than I've ever loved anyone on my entire life. But look, he's my brother. What a great thing that turned out to be."

"Then don't stop."

Harry scoffed at Haley and shook his head.

"Are you insane?"

"Does Louis love you?"

"Yes,but what does it matter?"

"Then don't let him go!"

Harry frowned and got off his seat, slamming the phone back on the wall and spitting on the window.

"You're sick. how dare you mock my pain!"

"HARRY! NO, COME BACK!"

Haley banged on the window and Harry shook his head, backing away.

"HARRY PLEASE, COME BACK! IM NOT DONE!"

Harry raised his middle finger at the girl as she was pulled away by officers, cuffing her hands behind her back. She tried to get out of their hold, but Harry turned around, walking towards the exit , and not giving a care in the world if she spent the rest of her life in there.


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh God."

"L-Louis."

"Yes?"

"W-Why."

"W-Why, ugh, w-what?"

"Why the fuck are you so fucking tight im sure I ripped you open this morning oh fuck, im drowning"

"are you serious? Shut your yap and finish!"

Louis slammed back his arse on Harry irritated with all the mumbling the older boy had been at for the past minutes than actually focusing on what he was supposed to do.

"Alright Alright."

Harry rolled his eyes, wiping his sweat off his forehead before gripping Louis hips and snapping them up.

Louis buried his face in his own mattress, hands under him, and arched his back up to position himself better for Harry.

"T-This is the last time."

"Y-Yes. Yes I know."

"I swear."

"Ohhh just get on with it already! Mums going to be back home any second."

Harry nodded and smiled as Louis little pink hole swallowed him greedily and come dripped out of it, impossibly. He didn't question it because he loved the wet feeling surrounding him, a little too distracted by the whimpers being muffled into the sheets.

After the Styles Family had arrived back from the prison, Haleys words had echoed through Harrys mind leaving him furious. 

He couldn't help but have the desire to take his anger out on something, or someone, and the sight of little vulnerable Louis drinking tea with sweater paws on the couch had made him loose all control.

The second Louis was bending over to grab the control that had fell on the floor, Harry had came behind him and whispered in his ear.

"Its time for my closure you little cockslut.  Go to your room."

Louis had gotten shivers with the harsh tone of Harry's voice, and the look in his eye, and when Louis watched Harry successfully get rid of his mom with some lame excuse of needing deodorant, he knew he had no choice to wait with his arse up in the air in his bed and take what was coming to him.

Harry took no mercy and just relieved all his tension with Louis body, which had the smaller boy crying at the beginning but finding the greater pleasure in it eventually and enjoying it as much as Harry did.

"L-Louis, why are you holding your stomach?"

Harry stopped when he noticed the small detail he hadn't before and Louis didn't reply, giggling.

"What's so funny?"

Louis shook his head and let his stomach go, grabbing the older boys hands and leading them to where his hands wherever previously set. With no type of support, Harry's body crashed ontop of Louis, his chest laying on the smaller boys back.

Harry set his head in the crook of Louis neck and turned to look at him confused while Louis just smiled and continued what he was doing. He placed both of the older boys larger hand below his belly button and set his on top of them to keep them in place.

"Look. Thrust."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows before wiggling around and finally slamming into the smaller boy. 

"Ohhhhh!"

Louis moaned and Harry's eyes widened, a little startled with what he felt.

"I-Is that m-"

"Yes. D-Do it Again."

Harry blinked a couple of times before slipping out and slamming himself back in again and Louis mimicked his previous actions.

"My god..."

"I-I know. I-I can feel you in my stomach. I-Im so full with your cockk. I-I love feeling full."

Louis turned to Harry, all flushed and innocent that drove Harry wild.

Harry slipped his hands off of Louis stomach and shook his head, not liking where this was going. Louis wasn't supposed to be enjoying this, this was supposed to be their closure, their last goodbye.

Harry kneeled back on the bed and slapped Louis arse, before grabbing a hold of Louis arms and restraining them behind his back.

"Keep your hands on your back, you brat. Don't touch your stomach again!"

"But Ha-"

"You're sick!"

Harry spat before shoving himself inside Again and continuing his previous actions, the meaningless sex without little hearts and rainbows. Louis didn't speak for the remainder of the time and laid helplessly till Harry was done with him.

Harry left his room without another when he finished, leaving Louis with his dreading thoughts and tears.

That's when Louis knew it was finally over.

~~~~~~~~~

*2 Months Later: July*

Louis and Niall looked at each other awkwardly as The couple behind them on the couch snogged the life out of each other, dignity flown out the window. The smaller boy shook his head and groaned while Niall just pulled him into his lap and they continued roasting their marshmallows in the firewood place in the middle of the Styles living room.

"H-Harry."

Louis just cringed as he brought his marshmallow back to the graham cookie and tried to place it symmetrically onto the cracker.

"F-F.uck."

Niall glanced back and made a gagging face as Harry let his hand rub up and down Eleanors thigh repeatedly.

"Y-Youre so good."

Louis rolled his eyes as he tried to put the melted chocolate on top of the marshmallow carefully, but failed when there was a loud moan behind him and he dropped all his masterpiece in the blanket on his lap. Louis sighed and turned to Niall, furious while the blonde haired boy shrugged.

"Would you two mind?!"

Louis snapped and Heleanor broke out of their thirsty actions. Eleanor rolled her eyes at the smaller boy while Harry looked at him with a blank expression.

"Its not my fault you aren't getting some from your boyfriend, baby." Eleanor smiled at the younger boy and teased.

"He's not my boyfriend so of course, we've never done it. and I'll have you know, not everyone resembles you Mrs. Mcdonalds."

"MrsMcdonalds?"

"Yeah. Mrs.McDonalds. Easy to get, cheap, and Open 24/7."

Louis smacked his lips and flipped his hair in triumph.

Eleanor gasped and Niall had to cover his mouth to sustain his laughter and Harry tightened his hold on his girlfriend who was trying to approach Louis.

"You're little brother is so annoying Harry!"

"Then Leave. Its my house." Louis replied and continued his process of making food.

"Eleanor, stop acting stupid and respect Harry's liddo brother. Yer in his house you know." Niall joined in and received a death stare.

"Look who's talking. I'm not the one making smores, wrapped up in blankets, and pretending its winter when you can go outside right now in a bathing suit and tan."

"Hey, Louis was craving smores and I got to say, they're pretty delish and even more since its summer."

"Freaks. You two belong together. Harry, why aren't you backing me up?"

"I dunno what to say. Its my brother's house too."

"Then lets go up to your bedroom!"

"In a bit, I want to try some of the smores now."

Louis smirked at Eleanor and the brunette sighed, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes.

Louis got off of Nialls lap and gave Harry a smore, which the older boy murmured a thanks and placed it all in his mouth.

"good right?"

Louis smiled at his older brother and Harry smiled back, giving him a thumbs up.

"They're perfect, Louis. Though mom probably won't be happy when the electric bill says you lowered the AC to freezing degrees so you could pretend it was winter."

Louis shrugged and headed back to Nialls lap, where he sat and let himself get cuddled.

"I wanted some smores, what can I say."

Harry chuckled and turned his attention towards the entrance of the living room where the sound of High heels approached them.

"Louis....Harry...guess who's DNA results we finally received!"

Louis and Harry froze in their spot as their mother appeared in the doorway with two envelopes, one torn open while the other was sealed.

Anne stopped in her tracks as she took notice of the guests and looked between all the kids.

"DNA Test? Babe, what for?"

Eleanor turned to Harry and the curly haired lad didn't respond, turning his attention towards the smaller boy in the floor getting hugged.

"Louis? What's yer mum need a DNA TEST for?"  Niall asked confused too, not understanding why Louis had received a DNA for his step mother. Louis had said he was adopted, had something change?

Louis didn't reply and let his gaze drop to the floor, not wanting to process what Anne was saying.

"Did I say DNA? Um...I meant doctor physicals. Sorry, this brain is beginning to fail me. Mrs.Calder and Mr.Horan, do you mind coming another day. I was planning to take My boys for lunch today."

Eleanor and Niall looked at each other before turning to their partners for any explanation, but both boys were off in their own world, looking towards the wall to the ground to the roof until the guests decided that was their cue to leave.

Eleanor and Niall escorted themselves out while Anne stood in the middle of the living room and waved goodbye. Nerve wrecking, Harry got out his seat and snatched the open envelope from Anne ignoring his mums complains that he was being rude. He took the sheet of paper out and immediately began to scan the data

\-------------------------------------  
Louis William Tomlinson

Age: 14

Blood Type: A

Birth Record has been accessed and the following information has been obtained.

Location: Cheshire Children's Hospital.

Time: 9:37pm  
Month: December  
Date: 24

Asthma: Negative  
Eye P: Negative  
Mouth P: Negative  
DS: Negative  
Rep P: Present

Weight: 7 pounds 1 oz

Son James Tomlinson  
Age: 39 years  
Blood Type: A

Son of Annette Styles  
Age: 39 years  
Blood Type: O

DNA Results: 

James Tomlinson: MATCH.

Annette Styles: MATCH.  
\--------------------------------------------  
"oh fuck....no.... n-no

no no no this cant be"

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and clutched the paper in his hand, eyes beginning to water while he looked down at the smaller boy on the floor with pleading eyes.

"This can't be! NO. WHY."

"Harry sweetie, what's wrong?"

Harry rubbed his face and without thinking, crumbled the sheet In his hand triggering a screaming Anne.

"Harry I need those!!"

"WHY!!"

Harry rolled the DNA results into a ball and threw it desperately into the burning fire wood place and watched as it turn into ashes within seconds.

"HARRY!!!!"

Anne ran to the firewood but was too late, seeing only the remaining black residue disappear between the wood.

"Why....why....why."

Louis looked at the firewood place and let his gaze slowly travel to Harry, who was now sitting on the couch with his hands covering his face in shame.

"H-Hazza. I-Is it true?"

Louis called out to Harry and the older boy couldn't bring himself to look at his brother.

"What am I going to do now, It took me 2 months to get those results and the court date is in a month!"

Anne yelled at Harry and headed back to the previous couch where she was standing by before.

"Oh wait. Maybe this envelope has it too."

Louis got off the floor and immediately followed Anne to the couch, wanting to see the results for himself. Anne sat on the couch and ripped the envelope open, ignoring the sound of Harry's sniffles on the couch across from them.

She pulled out the sheets and a small sticky note fell in the process, which Louis grabbed and frowned seeing a phone number and a 'call me immediately' written on it. She gave it back to Anne and tried to look at the DNA Results, wondering if Harry was crying across the room because it had been Match.

"Never mind, the results are here along with other things.....wow, look Louis! Your blood sample actually gives some physical information. You're Herpes Free. HIV, Ai-.......w-what is this?"

Louis cringed seeing the 

DNA MATCH 

letters in bold and let his eyes follow where Anne's finger was placed, finding his heart in his throat when he read Three unexpected words.

"L-Louis, what is this?"

The whole world stopped for Louis as he reread the words over and over.

"No."

Louis whispered and shook his head, feeling the color of his face drain and hands begin to shake.

"Louis darlin-"

"N-No. No. No."

Louis desperately shook his head and clutched at his heart, feeling unbearable pain on the inside and making Anne feel scared while he backed away from the couch.

Harry raised his head hearing the commotion and felt the pit of his stomach swirl as he took notice of Louis who look like he had seen a ghost. He wiped away his tears and sat up straight, startled by the way Anne was trying to approach Louis and the younger began to scream.

"NO!!"

Harry watched as Anne backed away and took out her phone, picking up a sticky note and beginning to dial the number.

"M-Mom, what's going on?"

Anne raised her finger in the air and told Harry to shush, which the older boy did and turned his attention back to his shaking brother on the couch.

"Hello, doctor? Yes, this Anne, I just opened the letter. M-My son.....Yes. Yes, will be on our way."

Harry looked between the two and stood up from the couch, eyebrows furrowed with a frown on his face.

"M-Mom?"

"Harry, can you take your brother to the car, I'm going to get some papers from my room."

"Where are you going?"

"Im taking your brother to the hospital."

Harry felt his face become numb and turned to Louis, who was looking at him straight in the eye and shaking his head.

"W-Why?"

"I'll explain to you when we go, now get him in the car."

Harry slowly nodded, and tried to take a step towards the smaller boy but found the scare of his life when the high pitched scream rang in his ear.

"D-Don't!

"Lou-"

"DONT COME NEAR ME! STAY WHERE YOU ARE!"

Anne flinched as Louis screams were now echoing through the whole house.

"Louis darling, we need t-"

"NO. NO!"

"Cmon Blue w-"

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

Louis hissed at Harry as the older boy opened his arms and stepped closer to the couch where the smaller boy was currently curled up in.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME! DONT COME NEAR ME!!"

"Blue"

"I HATE YOU, GO AWAY!!"

Louis grabbed a pillow and threw it at the older boy. Harry turned to his mom and Anne ran her fingers through her hair, shaking her head.

"I-I dont know I-I......D-Do what you need to do, but.... I need him in that car Harry."

Anne disappeared from the living room and Harry nodded, taking a couple of more steps towards Louis while the boy began to scream Louder.

"GET AWAY FROM ME. DONT YOU DARE TOUCH ME!!"

"cmon Louis, This can be serious. we need to get you to the hosp-"

"IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE YOU BASTARD. STAY AWAY!!"

"Loui-"

"GO TO HELL!!"

Louis climbed on the cushions until there was a sofa separating the boys and Louis was shaking in fear.

"Cmon Louis, I don't want to hurt you!"

"I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU TOUCH ME. I SAID IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE."

Harry ran towards the smaller boy and Louis managed to escape, now standing at the edge of the next sofa.

"Louis, this isn't time for games. You're getting in the car regardless. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"FUCK YOU HARRY."

Harry saw a shadow pass him and he turned, seeing his mother with her purse, papers, and keys.

"Harry, we need to go."

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, nodding his head before turning back to Louis.

Louis eyes widened and screamed loud as he saw Harry approach him running, the smaller boy pulling away when he got caught the worst way.

"Ahh....You scratched me!

"I TOLD YOU TO NOT TOUCH ME!!"

Harry hissed as he looked at his arm and saw blood beginning to come out his skin, where four finger marks were left behind.

Harry took a deep breath and shook his head, running after Louis once again in the living room and grunting when Louis kneed him in the balls the second he wrapped his arms around him, falling to the floor.

"fuckingg shit!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!! IM NOT GOING!"

"L-Louis, dont make me do this."

"YOU CAN ROT IN HELL HARRY!"

Harry slowly got off the ground and looked at his mum, who had tears running down her face.

"Louis sweetie....we need to go."

"IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!"

"Please son."

"DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME, I SAID NO!!!"

Louis screamed at Anne and Harry took this opportunity to get up off the floor and grab Louis arm while he was distracted. Louis panicked feeling Harry get a hold of him and aimed towards the older boys face, where he managed to scratch the right side of his cheek and Harry yelled in pain.

Harry didn't let go however, and used his whole strength to hold the boy in place, which ended up with a even more aggressive Louis.

"NO NO NO LET ME GO!!"

"We're going to the doctor and we'll come right back Blue."

"LET ME GO BASTARD LET ME GO!!"

Louis wiggled in Harry's hold until he managed to get dropped to the floor, but Harry refused to let go, holding Louis up from one of his small arms.

Louis used his legs to kick and Harry felt his patience too quickly fading.

Anne stood in the background and yelled at Louis to stop while telling Harry to not hurt him.

"Louis. Stop. Fighting."

Harry gritted out through his teeth as he pulled Louis off of the ground by both of his arms and The smaller boy continued to fight.

"LET ME GO. I WILL KILL YOU. I WILL KILL YOU!!"

"Stop Louis."

"LET ME GO LET ME GO!"

"Louis please!"

Harry picked up Louis from his armpits and struggled to get the smaller boy into the hallway that lead to the exit of his home. Louis didn't give up, still kicking at Harry's shins, legs, and thighs, trying to get Harry to drop him.

Harry picked him up further off the floor, coming face to face with the smaller boy who was redder than a rose. 

Harry was about to speak when he suddenly felt something wet hit him and realized, Louis had spit in his face.

"Louis no!" Anne screamed and Harry lost it, putting the smaller boy back on the floor,  grabbing a hold of him by either side of his shoulders, and leaning so they were at face to face.

"LISTEN HERE YOU BRAT, YOU'RE GOING TO STOP FIGHTING IT AND ARE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. IF YOU HIT ME ONE MORE TIME OR SPIT ON ME, I WILL PUT A BULLET IN YOUR STOMACH AND GET YOU THERE IN A AMBULANCE BED IF I HAVE TO.  EITHER WAY, YOU'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?!"

Anne gasped as Harry screamed in the younger boys face and shook him, while Louis slowly crumbled in Harry's arms, letting the older boy pick him up and throw him over his shoulder.

Anne covered her face as Harry headed toward the exit without a struggle, and Louis shook in his hold, looking at her with so much horror.

She locked the door on the way out and Harry climbed inside her car with Louis in the backseats.

Harry slammed the door to the car closed and sat in the middle seat, pulling the smaller boy into his lap when he was settled.

Harry looked down at his brother and immediately regretted screaming at Louis, seeing as the boy shook every time he tried to wipe his tears.

"Blue, I promise you will be okay. We're just going to the hospital and we'll come right back and well watch some movies and we'll cuddle until we sleep."

Harry felt a tug at his heart as Louis whimpered when he moved the fringe out his eyes, the smaller boy completely afraid of the curly haired boy.

"M sorry I screamed at You, Lou. I didn't mean it, I swear. I would never want to hurt you."

Harry cradled Louis but the smaller boy shook his head, letting tear after tear fall down.

"Y-You lied t-to M-Me"

Louis whispered with so much fear in his eyes.

"H-How c-could y-you. H-how c-could you."

"What's wrong Louis? How did I lie?"

"H-How could you do this t-to me. I-It was Y-You. I-It was you."

"What did I do?!"

Harry raised his voice with a shaking in the boys hold.

"Y-You gave it to me. Y-You. Y-You lied. I-I trusted you."

"Louis, you're scaring me."

"y-you're with E-Elea-"

Louis broke out in sobs and said no more, leaving the older boy in a state of confusion and panicking when blood Began to come out the smaller boys nose.

\------------------

Harry paced outside Louis hospital room with a gift in his hold, feeling anxious by the second they didn't let him go in. 

Louis had been sent to this room after being in the Emergency room for an hour and it had been 30 mins since his mom and the doctor had went in with his brother yet still, they left the older boy in the dark.

He had tried the ol' ear to the door trick but was not successful, hearing nothing more But the beeping sound of Louis heart monitor.

10 more minutes passed and the door finally opened, Harry letting out a huge breath when his mom told him to come in.

Harry complied, walking into the room where the first thing he thought was how small Louis looked in the bed with needles In his arms and other wires were stuck all over his body.

He gasped and covered his face, not afraid to let his tears come out even if there was a doctor present. 

"Louis barely fell asleep so dont talk that loud." Anne whispered to Harry and the older boy nodded, eyes not leaving the smaller boy.

"Harry, I would like to assign you a task."

"What's wrong with him doctor? Is he okay?"

Harry interrupted Dr.Winston and the older man patted the boys back.

"Don't worry, Louis is a strong boy and he will be fine and we'll do the best we can to ensure he remains that way."

Harry nodded and wiped his tears away, placing his gift on the chair behind him and facing the doctor again.

"W-What is it you want me to do? I'll do anything."

"Very good to hear that Harry. Louis here....he. He doesn't want to comply. You see....Louis here slept with an unknown male and refuses to give us his name and he gave Louis here....something he isn't supposed to have. Your mom here says you and your brother have a stronger bond and we would both like if you could figure out who he is. Maybe get him to spill. We just want to make sure of some things for example, if the male has some disease or inherited cancer he could have passed down to Louis during intercourse. If you can't, don't feel bad my son. We're just taking safety precautions."

"D-Disease?"

Harry felt his heart stop and let his mind drift off to his nights with Eleanor, the actually only other person he had been with besides the smaller boy, despite his manwhore reputation.

Had she obtained something from one of her other mess arounds and passed it to Harry? He had used a condom but those things didn't protect 100% and what if he had passed it down to Louis? He never used a condom with Louis, and what if he had, would Louis die?

Would he die?

"Can Louis d-die?"

Harry asked with tears in his eyes and frowned when the doctor turned to look at Anne with a very bad expression.

"We'll try our best to make sure Louis is fine Harry."

Harry covered his face again and shook his head, not believing what he was hearing.

"Also, I have an understanding you might have shook Louis on his way here, and I thought I'd let you know myself, I don't recommend that from here on out. Louis is to be put under no stress, no physical abuse or emotional of any type. I need you to take care of him the best you can Harry. He is in a very fragile state right now and he's barely learning himself to cope with it.,"

"I understand doctor. I apologize, I was being unreasonable."

"Its okay my boy. Its okay."

On cue, There was a small groan coming from the bed and everyone turned to see the smaller boy shaking into his awakening.

"We'll leave you two alone."

The doctor whispered and led Anne out the room, leaving Harry at the foot of Louis bed just staring down at him.

He watched how pretty Louis looked yawning and wakening like the puppies on tv. Louis blinked a couple of times before noticing he wasnt alone and looked around the room awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

Harry didn't either, so he turned around and grabbed his gift, heading back towards the bed where Louis let his jaw drop.

"Oh my..."

Harry panicked, seeing the boy gaping at his gift.

"W-What? I-Is this not the color you like? T-They only had it in pink, b-but I can ask if they have another color in store and..and"

"N-No Harry. The color its fine.....its just..."

"just what?"

"Harry....that bear is almost your size. If it didn't look so soft, I-I'd probably think it was a human in a costume."

"So it's too big? I-I can go get you a smaller if you wa-"

"Hazza, its fine. Its perfect."

Harry let out a huge breath he didn't even know he was holding when he saw Louis smiling and nodded, going around the bed and placing the bear next to Louis.

Louis looked at the bear compared to him on the bed and began to giggle, the sound music to Harry's ears.

"How embarrassing....this thing is taller than me and its not even real. Reminds me of you. Although you'd probably never wear pink."

Louis giggled and Hugged the life sized bear, Harry adoring from the side how cute Louis looked cuddled with it.

Harry heard some noises and turned to see the door wasn't completely closed.

"Hold on."

Harry headed towards the room door and before closing it, couldn't help but eavesdrop on his mothers and doctors conversation.

"How many months do you think he has left Dr.Winston?"

"Test shows, 7 months.....8 tops."

Harry felt the hairs on his neck rise, and he shut the door, ignoring how much his heart told him to cry because it was his fault.

He rested his forehead on the door for a couple of seconds and tried to compose himself, not wanting to worry Louis or let him see him cry.

"H-Harry?"

"Yes Louis?"

"C-Can you um....Can you come lay with me and Mr. Cuddles?"

"Mr.cuddles?"

Harry let a chuckle slip and Louis frowned.

"Hey, I was going to name it Sparkles bu-"

"I'd be delighted to, Louis. Mr.Cuddles is a perfect name."

Louis smiled and scooted over to make space for Harry, and the older boy joined his brother and Mr.Cuddles for a nice nap, trying to forget his time with Louis limited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I posted a Larry Smut Video (with audio ;)) On insta if you guys would like to see. its 3 parts. let me know your opinions and if you'd like to see more ;) ] ig-alwaysinmyheartharry


	6. Chapter 6

"You will take the Vinate One pills twice a day, before breakfast and after Dinner as prescribed while the Topical Afrin after every nosebleed you experience and if and only if you have them. Nosebleeds are common in your condition but if you over dose on the pills, it wont be so pretty. I've sent your prescription to be prepared already, so all your mom has to do now is pick it up at the Pharmacy. Take the first Vinate pill after Dinner tonight. Other than that, you're ready to go. I'll see you in around 2 weeks when we get the additional test results back."

Louis nodded as he slipped out of bed with his teddy bear clutched at his side and Anne reached out for the prescription from the Doctor.

"Remember what I said Harry."

Dr.Winston glanced at the taller boy and Harry gulped, nodding slowly before he went behind the younger boy and began to lead him out.

Despite the front seat being available, Harry climbed onto the back seat of the car with Louis, not wanting to leave the boy alone although he practically wasn't really alone. On the seats, sat Louis, Harry, and Mr.Cuddles in the middle separating them. The car ride was silent, awkward really, until Anne came to a stop in front of a building that read Rx.

"Im going inside to get the prescription boys, wont take to long."

Both boys nodded and watched as Anne disappeared through the front door, leaving Harry and Louis all to themselves in the small confinement. There was so much to say, so much to clear up, but all Harry could manage to spit out was

"Why are you playing with your nipples?"

Louis turned and scoffed, beginning to giggle when Harry couldn't keep his eyes off his chest.

"M not playing with my Nipples, Harold. I'm putting them back because they're sticking out. I think I'm cold."

"But its fucking burning degrees outside."

"Well I don't know Harry, my nipples say otherwise"

Louis waved Harry away and crossed his arms over his chest, now feeling a little uncomfortable that Harry was looking at him like he hunted deer.

Minutes passed and Harry couldn't keep it in any longer, turning towards the smaller boy, despite the huge bear in the way, and reaching out to pat his thigh. Louis flinched, completely taken by surprise and glared at Harry for scaring him.

"Jesus, can you give a brother some heads up next time!"

"I-Im sorry. I-I didn't know I would scare you."

"Well do you see my face, Im scared."

"I know I know, Im sorry."

"Well what do you bloody want. You interrupted my bird sight seeing."

Harry blinked and stared at Louis, not quite sure of what had crawled up his arse.

"I-I just wanted to apologize to you for this afternoon. The whole chasing...and screaming at you...and shaking you and saying mean things and....you know, what I gave you. Im very sorry."

"T-They told you?"

Louis frowned and Harry nodded his head, facial expression falling. 

"The disease tha-"

"D-Disease?"

Harry became alarmed as Louis shifted in his seat with widened eyes,

Shit.

Did he not know?

"DISEASE?"

"Louis, I-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN A FUCKING DISEASE  I  DONT HAVE A DISEASE YOU SHIT, IM GOING TO KILL THAT DOCTOR, HOW VERY DARE HE. TAKE ME BACK TO THE HOSPITAL I SWEAR I WILL PUT A KNIFE IN HIS TH-"

"Louis Louis Louis Louis calm down, No I mean...N-No I just. They said you had uh....like a temporary flu....thats all, im sorry, I-I couldn't find the right word im sorry."

Harry reached out to the smaller boy and ran his hand up and down his back, and all he could think of was how bad he was doing at his job already. He was supposed to keep Louis unstressed, not trigger him.

"L-Louis I want to ask you something."

"What."

"What makes you happy?"

Louis breath steadied and he looked at Harry with a face you only experienced when in Mathematics 101 in college. He tried to scoff, but ended up thinking really hard, not finding much to say.

"I-I dont know."

Harry pursed his lips into a thin line, not wanting to accept failure. He needed to find factors in Louis life that would make him Happy because he didn't know how long exactly Louis had left and he wanted to maximize that time as much as he could.

"Ok...lets try this. What things make you unhappy? Like...do i do things that make you unhappy or would you want to change something around the house?"

"Um....well actually, if you stopped Bringing Eleanor around the house, that would be pretty swell or.."

Harry blinked and within seconds, he was pulling out his cellular device. Louis was laughing until he noticed what he was doing and stretching across the seat to stop Harry, but it was too late.

"Yeah Eleanor, Im breaking up with you. Bye."

Harry hanged up his phone and Louis jaw drop, shaking his head.

"Harreh! I was going to say or you could either just keep her in your room when she's there! it wasn't necessary to do that!"

"Well its been done, so now cmon, what else makes you unhappy. What can I change?"

Louis eyebrows furrowed and looked at the older boy as if he was strange, which he was to Louis, freaking him a little bit out with the weird behavior.

"I dont want you to change anything, Harry. Everything is fine."

"No, I want to make sure you enjoy your time here in this world."

Louis chuckled and shook his head, rolling his eyes.

"You're acting like if I'm dying."

You are, Harry thought in his head and frowned. Anne slipped into car at that moment and startled both of the boys, not really noticing she was gone in then first place.

The car ride was awkward again until Louis leaned behind the teddy bear sitting down and whispered to Harry words that calmed him down slightly.

"I-Im sorry I overreacted earlier. I-I couldn't control my actions, so im really sorry. My body  just took over."

Harry nodded and whispered back he was fine, ending the conversation until they arrived home.

~~~~~~~~~

Things changed after Louis arrived home that day, 

physically and emotionally.

Harry couldn't help the strong desire to give Louis everything he wanted, and he was sure if Louis wanted the world, he would find a way to Give it to him.

The Month of August approached and Harry was on his knees for Louis, not the dirty way, but at complete submission to every request the younger boy had.

Although Louis hadn't noticed at first, he quickly caught on and began to use it to his advantage.

"Harry, can you make me some sandwiches please. Im watching a movie and it's really good."

And there Harry was, coming out of the kitchen with a tray full of heart shaped home made delis.

"Harry, can you wash my clothes for me please. Me feet hurt."

And there Harry was, folding and ironing the smaller boys clothes and putting it back neatly where he belonged.

"Harry can I borrow your credit card to buy something? I found something I want online and only online."

And there Harry was, going to the bank and cloning his credit card so Louis could use his account too.

"Harry, can you set me up my bath? ...and maybe carry me. I want to feel like a princess."

And there Harry was, carrying the smaller boy to the restroom and trying to set up a bath and poor bubbles with only one free hand.

It came to the point where Harry wore his shoes In his sleep because Louis sometimes woke up at 3 in the morning crying about how such a horrible person he was for not letting the squirrel bite his hand off when he was at the park with Niall.

"H-Harry, the poor little squirrel was hungry. a-and i didn't give him my hand. I could have lived with one hand. Oh god."

and Harry sat there for thirty minutes trying to convince Louis that the squirrel probably had rabies because normal squirrels ate nuts and Louis cried for thirty more minutes because how dare Harry label a squirrel he hadn't met with such a horrible title and Harry ended up sleeping at five in the morning that day because it took a 15 minute drive to Tescos to get Louis pack of M&Ms to shut him up and get him to fall asleep.

Ironically.

But Harry didn't complain, because his brother was dying.

He wanted to do everything for Louis and make sure his remaining time on earth was him in joy.

It worried him, it did, because there was days that after Louis took his pills, he spent his whole day passed out on the couch or his bed and although his mother told him he was fine, he could tell Louis body was beginning to fail him.

He was always so anxious when he went out with Niall because he didn't know what the two could be doing, and The doctor had warned Harry, Louis was fragile and how was Harry supposed to take care of him when he wouldn't dare to tell Louis no when he requested to have a nice day out with his best mate?

He was happy.

September approached and everyone but Louis seemed stressed out in the Styles residence.

Anne spent her days fighting on the phone with her Lawyers about her court day being moved and having to hide Louis ever time his father came asking to see him.

Harry spent his days worrying how frequent Louis Hospital appointments began to come and worrying with the appearance of the smaller boy that was beginning to change, not that he didn't look any less beautiful than he originally had, but the change too quick for Harry to adapt.

Harry counted In his head, and he couldn't help but cry himself to sleep at night.

The stress overwhelmed Anne at one point, the woman fighting with her son in the living room in whispers when she heard the news.

"You did what?!"

"I-I refused Princeton's offer a-and I'm not going to college until next semester."

"Harry, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

"Mum, I want to stay home here with Louis until he...."

Harry couldn't bring himself to say it and covered his face.

"For the last time, he's not going to die sweetie! I promise."

"You dont think I can see it mum, but I can."

"Ha-"

"HARREHHHHHHHH. I WANT SOME MORE MACARONI WITH KETCHUP PLEASEEE."

Harry raised his finger up to his mom, and walked out the living room, trying to recollect himself so Louis couldn't see that he was on the verge of tears.

But Harry was hopeless,

walking into the kitchen where Louis sat on the bar stool and smiled up at Harry, not even realizing he had blood dripping out of his nose.

Harry gave him a faltered smile and grabbed a couple of napkins before heading towards the sink, soaking the towel, and grabbing the bottle of pills out the cabinet.

He headed towards the boy and tilted his head slightly backwards, wiping the blood.

"Im bleeding again?"

"Yes love."

"Bloody hell."

"That's exactly what it is actually."

Louis giggled and set his spoon down, patiently waiting until Harry cleaned his nose.

Harry took a pill out the bottle and hovered it over Louis mouth.

"Open."

Louis complied and placed the pill on his tongue. He grabbed the glass of water and handed it to Louis.

"Swallow."

Louis obeyed, and made a disgusting face when he was done.

"Ugh. Hopefully they stop soon. Im tired of changing my pillow sheets."

In 4 months, they will, Harry thought to himself and felt his heart slowly crumble.

He served Louis another bowl of food and watched from afar as the boy ravished it.  
~~~~~~~~~

"Finally you answer your damn cell you bastard!"

Zayn exclaimed as Harry climbed into his car, the boy with the no longer stripe of blonde streak in his hair brought him into a big hug.

"Nice to see you too mate."

"Where you bloody been? This was supposed to be our summer! Last goodbye before you go to America and leave me here by myself!"

"You know Damn right you're not gonna be here by yourself. You have lover boy, aren't I right?"

"Liam? Well of course! but I need my Best friend too. Feels like years we haven't spoken."

"Its only been like......oh my....its been like 5 months. since graduation."

"Fucking right its been! Last time I remember us together was you throwing popcorn in my hair at the ceremony. not cool mate. messed my hair up."

Harry remembered the day and began to laugh, while Zayn leaned over the steering wheel and grabbed a weird stick and whacked Harry with it.

"Bloody bastard. Hows your lover boy by the way? Was for sure you were going to bring him with us tonight. Its the first week of September, isnt he starting school tomorrow?"

Harry's smile faltered at the mention, realizing although things had changed, Zayn had no clue about it. He was a horrible best friend.

"W-Were not together anymore Zaynie."

"What nonsense are you talking about Styles? You were head over heels for that boy."

"N-No. I mean. I-I was. B-But hes my brother."

"Didn't we go over this already? As long as you two leave Chesire once he turns 18, you wont have to worry about keeping that lie an-"

"No Zayn, it's not a lie. Turns out he is my brother. Zayn, Louis is my brother."

Zayn hit the breaks not believing what he was hearing, and no seatbelt Harry hit his head on the handle hanging off the roof of the car.

"Shit, sorry mate but what the hell are you talking about?"

Zayn parked on the side of the road and turned off the car, looking at Harry for explanations.  
Harry shook his head and the tears began to fall.

"Remember I told you someone had kidnapped my younger sibling when I was 3?"

Zayn nodded his head and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Well, it was my nanny that kidnapped him. It was a boy. To be exact, it was Louis. My step father was cheating on my mom with the nanny and they plotted together to steal him. They did and after five years, after the nanny found out my step father was still with my mum and had another child, gemma, she sent Louis to the orphanage. mum said years later, my step dad came and confessed Louis was alive and in a orphanage and mom spent the rest of the time looking for him and finally found him. I-I didn't know Z-Zayn. I didnt know until my stepfather came back to the house and when I was kicking him out, Louis was screaming that it was his dad. Mom explained the details and 2 months ago, they took a DNA test and it was confirmed, Louis belongs to my mom. We've been separated since then."

Harry had tears rolling down his eyes as he sniffled, while Zayn brought Harry in and tried to hug him so hard as he could.

"Oh my god mate, im so sorry. That's horrible."

"Thats not the worst part though."

Harry sobbed and Zayn pulled away, looking at the boy.

"That night of prom, I took Louis away from here, to that beach house we have a couple of hours from here. you know which one im talking about right? took you there once."

Zayn nodded and patted the boys back.

 

"We did it Zayn a-and I didnt use a condom. He didn't want to and to be honest, I didn't either. It felt so great, but little did i know we where committing a sin. besides us being brothers to start with, when we got the DNA results, we took Louis to the hospital and the doctor told me Louis had obtained something during sex and I was the only one who he's ever slept with. I heard him and my mum speaking, and I overheard he had a couple of months left. right now, there's only 4 months left. I think I must have got something from eleanor since she was the only one I messed around with and passed it on to him. I know I was clean because I had check before, but now im not sure. i broke it off with Eleanor and shes been calling nonstop but I dont care. Im not going to america after all because I-I want to spend the last months I have with Louis by my side. H-Hes dying Zayn. A-And it's my fault. M-Mine."

Harry finished with a choked sob, and Zayn was in tears hugging the boy. 

"Im so sorry Harry, im so sorry. Y-You dont deserve this."

"I should have expected it Zayn. My twin died in the womb, Gemma died, a-and now, its Louis turn."

Harry cried harder and the older boy shook his head, trying to comfort Harry.

"There's always cures Harry. dont loose hope yet."

"You should see him Zayn. H-He's so weak. T-That's why I didn't bring him."

"Don't loose hope Harry, dont."

"Its hard not to when you are seeing someone fade away in front of your own eyes."

~~~~~~~~~~

Harry walked amongst dozens of people completely clueless to what was going on with a huge dorky smile on his face.

He couldn't see very well but he knew the song that was playing and although he couldn't sing it, he knew it was his song.

He was getting pulled from side to side, by girl and males, and couldn't find the need to care.

He was drunk.

After a long exchanging sob story, a walk in the park, some ice cream, and kickboxing lesson, Zayn had advised a nice night drinking out to ease off the worries.

And it had worked better than Harry thought.

He could see Zayn across the room with a worried Liam by his side and found the sight amusing, the puppy boy trying to pull Zayn off the bar.

He hummed as girls climbed him all over and tried to kiss him, which he refused to, unless the kisses were on his body.

He didn't wasn't kisses on his lips.

He groaned as he heard his phone ringing In his pocket and took it out, seeing an unknown number caller on the screen

 

The time read

33:577am according to Harry and he laughed, not realizing there was such thing as a 33rd hour and 577 minutes.

He answered the call, despite being in the loudest room possible and grabbed another drink, putting the phone by his ear.

"Erm. Hiiiiiiiiii. who uh is this."

"I-Im not telling you where I am. come find me."

He let his attention go off the phone as he watched Zayn lay liam on the table and take a tequila shot out of his belly button and wow, he wanted a turn too.

He began walking towards the table and remembered he was on the phone, placing the device back to his ear. he stopped and frowned as he heard the person on the other line, throwing his drink on the floor

"T-Thats not. Thats not fucking funny. I hate kids!"

He hanged up and went enraged towards Zayn, the older boy noticing and seeing the younger boy approach him mad.

"Whats wrong Harry?"

"S-Someone. Some one just....Prank calling me. S-Said I was going to be a father. How sick is that?"

"But you hate kids Harry"

"I know!"

Harry and Zayn glanced at each other before bursting out in laughter.

"5 euros that it was Stan."

"7 and I say it's Nick."

Zayn and Harry shook each others hands and made a deal, Zayn passing another bottle of whiskey to Harry who gladly chugged it down.


	7. Chapter 7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How was school love?"

"It was fine. Though those stairs were killing me. gladly I didn't get gym! and most of my classes I have them with my friends."

"That sounds better than fine Lou."

"Yeah...but you know. There's just one thing I dont like about school."

"What?"

"Oh you know....the whole learning part aspect of it."

"So basically....all of it."

"Pretty much."

Harry glanced at Louis and chuckled, seeing the smaller boy giggling and staring back. 

The cold was approaching Cheshire quick and maybe it wasn't normal for Harry to find Louis that cute in oversized hoodies and sweaters, with the Beanies on his head that matched his glasses,

but he did.

And he couldn't help but want to cuddle him 24/7. 

He didn't obviously, the smaller boy always wanting to go out or do something out of the ordinary, that sometimes scared Harry, but he didn't complain.

"Harrehh."

"What is it Lou."

"Can you stop by the shop and buy me ice cream. Im really hungry."

Louis leaned back against the window and took his glasses off so puppy eyed Blue could commence his devious plan and trick Harry into submission. And how could Harry say no to little pouty Louis with his pink bottom lip sticking out exaggeratedly.

"Lou....you know what the rules are."

"But its going to take mum an hour when we get home to make lunch. Im really hungry. Please."

"What if I buy you food instead then?"

"But I want ice cream!"

"Louis."

"ICE CREAMM."

"Baby please."

"I WANT ICE CREAM HARREH."

Louis clutched at Harry's bicep and the older boy was putty in his hands, nodding and sighing, while Louis let a huge laugh out and flashed his brother his million dollar smile.

"Thank you Harry. I love you."

"I love you too Louis."

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Boys....dessert already?"

Harry and Louis entered the home to a frowning Anne staring at the cone in their hands, not a little pleased.

"Who's idea was this?"

Harry was about to speak when he received a smack to his head by his mother, muttering a small ow before noticing Louis finger was pointing at him and Anne was shaking her head.

"Harry, you know the rules!"

"He's lying, it was his idea!"

Anne turned to Louis and the smaller boy let his jaw drop, gasping.

"Harold, how very dare you. Where would I get the money to buy ice cream? I'm broke."

Anne turned back to Harry and smacked him slightly again, Louis laughing in the background as he ran away into the living room laughing.

"Mum, I swear it wasn-"

"I know Harry."

"Then why did you hit me!" Harry scoffed and Anne rolled her eyes.

"I didn't hit you that hard, and I thought you wanted to make Louis laugh."

Harry stood still, dumbfounded, and caught off guard by his own mother, which he never expected in a million years. 

He smiled back when he realized Anne actually did pay attention to some of the things he said and played along, the gesture meaning more than she knew to the long limbed boy.

"Thanks mum."

"You're welcome sweetie."

Anne turned around to her pot of noodles and began to mix the Alfredo sauce, the scent pure heaven to Harry's nostrils. 

The food would definitely be worth the wait.

The doorbell rung, and Harry turned to exit the kitchen, feeling the hairs in his neck rise as the descendant of Flash passed by him.

"That's for me!!!!"

Louis screamed as he ran to the door, and Harry's hands turned into fists by his side. He walked to the door and glared at the smaller boy who was closing the door as soon as he got there, a small package clutched to his chest.

Louis frowned when he saw Harry approaching him with 'That' look on his face and let his back hit the wall by him.

"What is the Number One Rule I Told You to Follow Louis. Did you forget?"

"N-No."

"Then?"

"Im fine Harry."

"No Louis, whats the rule?"

"D-Dont Run."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU RUNNING."

"I-Im sorry. I-I wont do it again."

Louis dropped his head to the floor and Harry sighed, approaching the smaller boy and bringing him into a hug.

"Im not doing this to be mean Louis, I could hear your heavy breathing from the kitchen. You can't run. It's bad for you."

"I-I know I know. Im sorry. I was just excited."

"Why, what did you get?"

Harry tried to reach for the packet but the smaller boy moved the cardboard box out of the older boys hold, making Harry frown.

"Heeeeey."

"It's mine."

"Who's credit card did you use?"

"Y-Yours."

"Then who does it belong too?"

Louis was about to make a smart remark before he felt his eyesight become blurry and he was suddenly being held up by two strong arms.

"Oh Lou."

Harry swept Louis off of his feet and carried him bridal style to the living room, where he placed the smaller boy on the couch and brought the boy his pills.

"N-No. My nose isn't bleeding. A-ask mum for  pills please. M-My head hurts."

Harry nodded and laid the boy down before disappearing and reappearing with a new set of pills. He fed Louis the pills and a glass of milk, feeling it was appropriate Louis should get more nutrients than the water could provide.

When he finished, he put the pills back, cup in the sink, and joined Louis back in the living room where he sat on the couch and Louis scooted over to lay his head on Harry's lap.

Harry turned the T.V on and began to watch bridezillas, and twenty minutes into the show, Harry could hear the soft little snores coming from the smaller boy.

If you asked Harry, a sleeping Louis at 4 o clock in the afternoon was a normal Louis.

The older boy continued watching his show and let his fingers run through the boys caramel colored fringe repeatedly, liking the soft texture of his hair caressing his finger tips.

This was normal for Harry too.

Anne came into the living room and smiled at both of the boys while Harry did the same back, but did not really mean that he was enjoying any of what was going on.

Soon, Louis naps would probably become longer until one day,

he wouldn't open his eyes anymore.

Somewhere along the lines of picturing Louis in a casket, Harry fell asleep on the couch and ended up awakening startled with the sound of two deep voices around him.

He opened his eyes and felt enraged as he saw Louis getting his cheeks kissed across the room in the adjacent couch, by one of the persons he despised the most.

"W-Why are you kissing him? Let him go."

Harry sat up and Glared at Louis, who quieted his giggles and climbed off of the boys lap.

"H-He was just telling me I look very handsome."

"Which he is."E.

"You're not supposed to say that nor kiss his cheeks, Edward. He's your cousin."

"Am I not allowed to show him some family love?"

"No. He has me for that."

"Well doesn't some one sound a little jealous."

Edward snickered and Louis giggled beside him, making him sick.

Oh Family.

"Why are you even here Edward. Aren't you supposed to be annoying William right now?Did you let him in Louis?"

"No, I did." Anne walked into the living room and gave a tea mug to both Edward and Louis, Harry refusing her offer when she approached him.

"Why did you let him in?"

"Why wouldn't I? He's family."

"Yeah, the annoying type."

"Harry, dont be so rude with your cousin."

"Don't sweat it Anne. Deep down inside, I know he loves me."

"You wish."

Harry spat and Edward couldn't do much but laugh, while Anne just sat in the middle and shook her head.

"What am I going to do with both of you."

"Edward, why are you here? Family reunion is this weekend. Couldn't you wait."

"No, I was dying to visit my baby Here."

Edward pulled in Louis by his side and pressed a kiss to his cheek, which had the smaller boy blushing within seconds. Harry stabbed him in his mind million times.

"And to break you the news."

"What news?"

"William kicked me out the apartment."

Harry looked between his cousin and mother, and bursted out into laughter, pointing at the toned, quiffed haired boy.

"Ahhhhhh did he finally get enough of your annoying ass?!"

"Harry language!"

"Im not bloody annoying, there was just a change of plans between us."

"Like what?"

"Harry...."

Anne turned to his son, and Harry shrugged, not finding anything he was saying offensive.

"Uhm...sweetie....your cousin here is going to have a baby."

Harry's eyes widened, jaw dropping, and without thought,face broke out into a huge grin.

"Your dumbass got a girl pregnant?! Oh my god...this is the funniest shit! serves you right!"

"Harry!"

"What mom? its true! only a dumbass would make a baby at the age of what....20? You're twenty Edward. You're barely getting out of your teenager years. So yeah....dumbass level 3000."

"H-Hes not a dumbutt Hazza."

"Yes he is Lou. He can barely wipe his ass himself. I'll pray for your soul Edward. and the baby's."

Harry continued to laugh and Edward scowled.

"I dont know what's so funny Harry. Im going to move in a couple of months in here because William doesn't want my child in his flat. If its anyone who's going to be changing diapers, it'll be you. Not my fault you didn't go to college. dont worry, ill pay you a diaper"

It was now Edward's turn to laugh, and Harry shut his mouth, eyebrows furrowing the lowest they could.

"To hell you are! You're not moving in here!"

"It's been settled already. Anne approved and Louis agreed to let me have his room so you wouldn't be stuck to a crying baby in the next room to yours."

Harry turned to Louis and raised his hands in disappointment, the smaller boy shrugging.

"I-Its just a baby Harry."

"Just a baby? Just a baby? THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS JUST A BABY LOUIS. ITS GOING TO CRY AND NOT LET ME SLEEP AND IT'S GOING TO PUKE ALL OVER AND THE HOUSE IS GOING TO STINK AND ITS GOING TO BE SO ANNOYING. NO. THERE WILL BE NO BABY IN THIS HOUSE."

"B-But Hazza."

"WHY WOULD YOU EVEN AGREE TO LET HIM HAVE YOUR ROOM? ARE YOU STUPID?"

"I-I didn't want h-him to bother you in the guest room."

"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD HIM TO FUCK OFF. EDWARD, WE WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH NO DAMN BABY. ABSOLUTELY NOT."

"H-Ha-"

"YOU SHUT UP. IM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW."

"HEY, DO NOT SCREAM AT HIM!"

"I DO WHAT I WANT EDWARD."

"WELL STOP BEING SUCH AN ARSE TO LOUIS. HE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP."

Harry got off the couch and shook his head, running his fingers through his curls. He turned and felt the pit his stomach grow uneasy with the sight of Louis crying.

"Ugh....Look Edward, you can't just move in here and start a family. We arent a motel."

"Im not asking you for permission Harry. I just thought I'd let you know of the already settled plans so you wouldn't freak out when you begin to see the strollers, cribs, and other baby Shit get set up in Louis room. Not to mention, your mother is going to be such a dear and go shopping for the clothes because I have no idea what the hell babies need."

"Mom, y-you can't do this to me."

Harry ignored Edward and got on his knees, at Annes feet.

"Mom please, tell him no. tell him to go fix shit with William. I don't to be near any fucking kid.

"Harry sweetie, I'm sure you're going to be a great uncle. W-Why are you worrying?"

Anne patted Harry's head and Harry moved away, shaking his head and glaring at all of them.

"Y-You like making me suffer, T-That's what it is."

"Sweetie, I would never do that!"

"WELL IT SURE SEEMS FUCKING LIKE IT. I DONT NO BABY NEAR ME!"

"Well then move out, you're going to be 18 sooner or later aren't you?"

"William!"

"No mum, he's right."

"H-Hazza, dont do this.Y-Youre going to leave me."

"You don't talk to me! If you really wanted me here, you wouldn't have agreed to volunteer! You know damn right how I feel about kids!"

"IM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU AGAIN HARRY, DONT RAISE YOUR FUCKING VOICE AT LOUIS. IT WASN'T HIS FAULT." e.

"Fault or not, all I know is once that baby takes a step in this house, I'm gone."

Harry stepped out the living room, headed towards his room, and slammed the door shut as loud as he could to get the message across to his family. 

Anne shook her head downstairs and moved next to Edward who was cradling a sobbing Louis in his arms. 

"Do you really think he will go once the baby comes?"

"Im hoping not Edward." Anne mumbled as reached out to wipe Louis tears away.

"I am."

~~~~~~~~ ~~~ ~ ~~

Harry spent hours locked away in his room over analyzing the mistakes and choices he had done so far in life and for once saw, the bad was turning out to outweigh the good, not the slightest in his favor.

He didn't have a stable relationship.

He didn't have his sister.

He didn't have Louis the way he wanted.

He wasn't in college.

He was basically failing at everything in life and according to him, apparently the gods above thought it was amusing to send down another child he could probably end up killing.

Louis was halfway up the stairs to heaven and why, oh why, was Edward going to have a child.

He refused to admit it, but he found Louis resembled Edward and William in more ways that he could explain, the thought of alone of another look alike Louis coming into this world after he left, an unbearable pain he was sure he could handle.

Edward was messing with his plans,

his plans to keep Louis happy for his remaining time.

All because of his stupid baby.

Why couldn't he keep it in his pants?

Harry felt the guilt slowly begin to sink as the crying Louis in the couch began to flash in front of his eyes, the smaller boy with tear stained cheeks and a flushed face.

Why couldn't have just Edward not come today at all and let him do his job like the doctor had said, to keep him Happy and smiling like earlier today when he had first received his package.

The package.

What could be in the package?

Harry let his eyes slowly trail over to his phone on the night stand and couldn't help but wonder what the smaller boy had been hiding.

He got up off his bed and stared two long minutes at his iPhone, sitting at the edge of the bed with trembling hands.

"It's my fucking credit card."

Was the last thing Harry mumbled before snatching his phone off the counter and navigating to the Wells Fargo Banking Account app.

He typed in his username and password and waited patiently as his records, withdrawn, savings, and deposits loaded.

Once everything was set, and he read 1974.27 euros available at the top, he scrolled down and passed all of his withdrawals, trying to find the one Louis had made within the time range the new package was received.

2.29eu........Andy's Ice Cream Shop

6.45eu.........Wal-Mart  
-Gillette Men's Deodorant  
-Banana scented Shampoo  
-M&Ms

4.67eu......McDonalds Fast food restaurant.

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

 

"Damn you Blue and your M&Ms." 

 

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

7.88eu........ Wal-Mart  
-Polka dotted pillow sheets.

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

17.26eu..........Rx drug store  
-Refill Nose Pills.

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

2.67eu.....McDonald's

98.36eu.......... Daniel's Liquor store

238.55eu.......Daniel's Liquor Store

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

7.62..........Ebay  
-Sparkly purple strap on dildo

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

.75eu......... Gas Corner Store  
-M&Ms

"Wait, what."

Harry stopped scrolling and gasped at what he was seeing, not really sure how to feel about what was on his bank account records.

"Louis Tomlinson....you did not just buy a fucking sparkling dildo with my credit card. Ohhhh no honey."

Harry got up from the edge of his bed and headed towards the exit of his room, walking at a fast pace towards Louis room.

What in the world was he thinking?

This was going to be on his record when he would try to take out a new car or buy a house.

He couldn't go walking around flaunting a credit card that had a purple sparkly piece of rubber under it.

Oh no.

Harry Styles did not need no piece of rubber under his name. He had his own and did not need anything better than what god had given him.

He stepped right up to Louis room and swung the door open furious, feeling as embarrassed already that he had to confront his smaller sibling about it.

"Ohhhhhhh Harry."

Harry stopped dead at the door however, feeling his cock twitch in his pants at the sight of Louis wearing one of his big hoodies while he rode the sparkling dildoo strapped onto the huge pink bear he had gave Louis at the hospital.

He was fucked.


	8. Chapter 8

~~~~~~~

"MR. CUDDLES?! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!"

Harry stood at the door and brought both of his hands up to his hair, tugging at the curls that cascaded off his head gracefully. He stood at the door frame with jaw almost meeting the floor while the younger boy turned around and resembled a deer looking at car headlights.

"HARRY, GET OUT!"

"B-But, my bear! what have you done to Mr. Cuddles?!"

"I didn't do anything, it was the bear!"

Louis chest rised repeatedly as he continued bouncing on Mr.Cuddles and threw his head back in pleasure. 

"A-Ahh yeah. R-Right there Mr.Cuddles."

"LOUIS, WHAT THE F-"

Harry panicked and proceeded inside the bedroom, slamming the door shut so his mother wouldn't have a glance at the obscenities he had allowed to happen.

NEVER AGAIN, he chanted to himself on letting his younger boy use his credit card. Harry placed his ear to the door, wondering if his mother had heard anything and calmed when there was no footsteps approaching the room.

"L-Louis. W-What in heavens sake are you doing?!" Harry whispered with widened eyes, not able to look away.

"Mr.C-Cuddles wanted to a-ahh Fuckk me. So I let him."

"LOUIS MR CUDDLES ISN'T REAL."

"HIS DICK IS REAL ENOUGH NOW LEAVE. YOU'RE INTERRUPTING US."

"Louis, get off!"

Harry proceeded onto the bed and tried to raise the boy off the toys, eyebrows furrowing when the smaller boy clutched onto Mr.Cuddles for dear life.

"Louis!"

"Leave us alone Harry, were happy together!"

"No, get off so I can get the damn rubber! You can not do any extraneous activity!"

"Please Harry, let me finish what I started with Mr.Cuddles. H-He wants me."

"Louis, are you hearing yourself?!"

"I want him too"

"Louis!"

Harry tried placing his hands on the boys stomach to pull him away but Louis screamed, making Harry pull away in fear of his mother.

"Fuc-"

"Harold, I'm h0rny. P-Please let m-me."

"Louis, this is insane."

"I-I'll make you a deal."

"No Louis, I don't want to hea-"

"Get in, you too."

"What?!"

"Gonna need the stretch soon Anyway so..."  
Harry gasped and Louis turned towards the older boy, arms still wrapped around the bears neck with the toy buried inside him.

Harry waited for Louis to clear what he had said but the smaller boy was persistent, allowing Harry to feel dizzy with his request.

"Y-You want me t-to what?"

Louis untangled himself from the bear and sat up straight, biting his lip as the toy hit that spot again.

"O-Oh come on Harold, w-we both know the real reason why you want Mr.Cuddles out of me. You're Jealous."

"What the fu-"

"Shh Shh its okay." Louis pressed his finger to close Harry s mouth, grinning.

"I-I dont mind right now. J-Just please."

"Please what?"

"Harry I-I want you and Mr.Cuddles to fuckk me at the same time."

Louis giggled and smashed his lips to the older boy, catching him off guard. 

Harry felt like he was on a dose of ecstasy as the pair of thin lips he hadn't devoured in forever met his, his insides tingling and not functioning the correct way. The Harry way.

Louis always had the ability to trigger the beast in him. 

And he did.

Harry pulled the smaller boy away from his lips by his hair, yanking his head back that had Louis moaning with the sting.

"Fine you slutt. Have it your way."

Harry turned Louis torso around and pushed the smaller boy to the bed, where he fell face flat on the bears stomach. Louis could feel the heat now rise above burning degrees in the room and he cursed himself for not doing this sooner.

Harry inspected the boys pink, opened hole with the purple sparkling toy and moaned, the sight so beautiful he couldn't get enough.

"Even a stupid toy gets you wet, you're such a little cockslut Louis."

Harry let his palm collide against the right cheek and Louis muffled his sounds into the bear.

"Is Mr.Cuddles satisfying you enough, Lou?"

"N-No."

"What do you want Louis?"

"Y-You."

"What do you want me to do?"

"W-Want you in me."

"Beg for it Louis. Beg for it like the little slutt you are."

Louis shook his head and tried to find some friction by rutting into the bear, whimpering when he received disapproval from Harry and his palm.

"BEG LOUIS."

Louis didn't want to beg, didn't want to feel worthless, he just wanted to feel full and get rid of the empty feeling, but Harry didn't understand.

"You know what, you're a slutt. Slutss dont wear this much clothing."

"N-No Harry no!"

Louis shrunk as Harry pulled the oversized hoodie off of the smaller boy and tried to cover his body with his arms, now beginning to cry.

"Harry give it back!"

"Harry please, give it back!"

Louis now cried harder and Harry began to step out of his possessive trance, seeing how desperate Louis was to cover the same body he had seen every piece of already.

"Why?"

Harry raked over his tan kissed body and the smaller boy finally slipped off the toy, clutching onto the bear so he hid behind it.

"Dont look at me, get out!"

"Lou-"

"Get out!"

Harry felt his heart crumble as he realized Louis hadn't overcame his negative thoughts, within seconds, grabbing a hold of the bear and yanking it away from Louis till it flew across the room and hit the wall.

Louis cried as Harry Kneeled above him and couldn't find anything to cover himself with, cover his horrible body. He settled for placing his arms around his torso and closed his eyes, shaking his head.

"Dont look at me! Im fat! I look hideous!"

Harry could feel his heart now coming out his throat, the smaller boy containing issues worse than Harry had came to known.

Harry looked towards Louis body and shook his head, grabbing gently Louis hands away from his stomach and placing them on either side of his thighs.

Slowly, he parted Louis legs with his knees and leaned down to Louis abdomen, leaving a trail of kisses all across the skin underneath Louis belly button.

"Is this what you think makes you hideous? This small little bump?"

Louis looked at Harry in the eyes and frowned, unable to move with so much pressure on him.

"Its wrong for me to say this but, this was one of my favourite things about you when we were together. Your little tummy. So pudgy and pretty."

Harry leaned down and pressed more kisses, Louis cries now becoming silent until you could only hear small sniffles.

"Y-You say that now. Y-You dont mean it."

"Of course I mean it."

"Y-You're lying. I-Im just ugly and fa-"

"No. Don't you ever say that again. You're so beautiful Louis. Always have been."

Harry let go of Louis hands and couldn't help but begin unbuckling his belt and slowly unzipping his pants, letting his fattening member spring free in between Louis legs. 

He needed to show Louis how beautiful he was.

"You always will be."

Harry let each of his elbows rest on either side of Louis head and leaned down to come face to face with the smaller boy, where he watched the beautiful sight of Louis eyes widening and jaw dropping as he pushed himself in.

"S-So beautiful."

"O-Oh Harrehhh."

Harry was hesitant when he brought his mouth to hover over Louis and felt his shaky moans mix in with his. It only took Louis arms wrapping around his neck to get his rhythm picking up the pace and suddenly, turning rough to the point where the headboard was slamming against the wall.

"D-Dont just f-fall on top of me W-when you're done. Y-Youll squish me."

"Dont worry baby, im not planning to....ahhh... come in you like this. I want you to...ahhhh. ride me like Mr.Cuddles."

Louis spread his legs farther apart as Harry sinked lower and lower inside of him, and nodded, feeling it was fair to give Harry the same treatment.

"I-I missed y-you Harry. M-Miss you I-inside me so much. Y-You always make me feel so full. S-So complete."

"I miss you too L-Louis. Miss feeling being inside m-my baby. S-Someone like you. A-Always be my baby."

Harry carefully flipped them around and sat up straight, both of Louis arms resting across the olders boys chest as he began to sink down on his lovers member.

Both of the boys stared into each others eyes and suddenly, Louis was coming back to the real world, the real world where this wrong, inhumane, disgusting.

"T-This has to be t-the last time Harry. I-It can't go on any further."

"I don't think so Louis. I-Im not going to let you go this time."

Harry slammed himself up and the smaller boy bit his lip, shaking his head.

"N-No, i-it can't."

"There can't be a last time Louis. I-It doesn't work that way."

Harry slammed himself up again inside the boy and Louis felt his toes curl with pleasure, realizing he had found the spot.

"W-We c-can't!"

"Who's going to tell us no?  mom? We'll runaway Louis, I don't care anymore. I don't care what's wrong or right. I love you. Fucking shit, im in love with you!"

Harry picked up the pace and Louis noises were a mixture of cries of joy and fear now, the bed squeaking under them a sign to him that he had let it go too far. 

"Harry, please, dont make me do this."

"You want me Louis. Tell me you don't want this. Tell me you don't like being this way,  those mornings were we woke up together in each others embrace or when we slept with the sounds of each others breaths. Tell me you don't want it."

Harry began to grow impatient as the smaller boy covered his face and began to shake and nod his head, not making up his mind. Harry once again flipped them over and pinned Louis to the mattress, where the smaller boy began to panic.

"Harry please."

"Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop right now. I'll stop everything, I'll move on, I'll let you move on. Tell me right now."

"I-It's not f-fair. y-youre doing what y-you did in the car. I-it's not fair."

Harry let his lips roam all over Louis body until he reached the boys swollen, perked up nipples and began to suck, Louis letting out a huge gasp and clutching Harry's head to stay in place.

"Oh yes Oh yes oh yes Harry. Ohhh Harry, fuck."

Bingo.

Harry smiled and continued, letting his tongue draw circles around it teasingly before sucking it into his mouth again.

"Oh please Harry, dont stop. dont stop for the love of ohhhhhhhh. oh my fu- please. please harry, t-the other one."

Harry came of with a slurping sound and moved to the one on the left, repeating his actions while he enjoyed Louis squirming under him and letting out incoherent sounds.

"Oh that feels so much better. oh I love you. oh my I love you so much. I love you harry, I love you."

Harry took that as a yes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To Harry's misfortune, things didn't turn out the way they had planned.

Operation Get Louis to runaway with him into the woods  or some twilight shit like that was not on the go.

The minute after Louis was back into the real world without a Harry stuck to his chest, Harry was being sent out the door with a shameful look on his face.

Besides embarrassed, rejected.

However, Harry realized later on what he was proposing wouldn't work anyway, the sound of His mother on her phone downstairs and the words

"Somewhere around February, doctor? That's too soon."

sending him to his room where he cried himself to sleep.

 

The next day of the event, the tension in the air was suffocating.

Harry thought Louis was mad because on his way out the door, he had grabbed the purple sparkling rubber and left him with nothing.

Louis didn't mind a little when Harry took his toy.

He mind alot.

Somewhere between the time Harry had taken a shower and went for dinner that night, he returned back to his room where he found the door had been broken down and the toy gone.

Anne did freak out, although didn't scream at Louis, blaming Harry for locking the door and taking Louis M&Ms away.

Harry was the bigger person and accepted a slap to the face, letting Louis win in front of his mother because he ultimately would get him back.

And he did.

When Louis took a shower the next day, Harry worked his magic.

Louis came back to a room with a door yet his sparkling purple toy cut to pieces as well as Mr cuddles. The bears stuffing was scattered all over the room and Harry deliberately let Louis know it was him, leaving a little note on the bed that read.

\-------------  
Mr.Cuddles and I had a talk. He really seemed excited to repeat the little action you two had going on. I wasn't. You're mine.  - H xx  
\-------------

Louis did go over to Harry's doorless, now curtained room, and began to hit the boy, crying for the death of his bear.

Harry let him.

And when he was done crying, they went out to the store and Harry bought Louis a new one.

A bigger one.

A better one.

And things turned back to normal again, Harry smiling over at his baby brother in his big hoodie, curled up with his giant new bear and a pack of M&Ms on their ride home.

~~~~~~~~~~

[October]

"Please, I need it!"

"No Louis."

"Mum please."

"If you want it that bad, I suggest you tell your brother first."

"Tell me what?"

Harry walked into the kitchen and chuckled as Louis flinched in his seat, not hearing him apparently walk in.  Anne glanced between the two and continued chopping the vegetables that would be used in the chicken soup Louis had requested.

Harry took a banana out the fruit bowl in the middle of the counter and began to peel, looking at the smaller boy with cheeks now tinted.

"Um....you want to make me happy right?"

There was a small chuckle by the pot and Harry began to laugh as he realized his mum was listening in, while Louis just blushed harder.

"Mom."

"Im sorry sweetie, I just find it hilarious that he knows how whipped you are."

"Heeeeeeeeeeeey. Im not whipped."

"Darling, you do everything for your brother. you're whipped."

"Its called caring."

"So that's what teenagers call it these days when they're forced to foot massage or color code the massive amount of M&M packs you buy him."

"Mum, don't discourage him!"

"Son, you are a menace. Harry is not your slave." Anne laughed and Louis couldn't help but do the same, leaving a frowning Harry in between.

"What is it you want this time Louis?"

Louis stopped laughing and glanced at his mother, who raised her hands in the air and repeated the same phrase.

"I was asking mum here.....if I can um....like....get a part time job. you know, so I can earn my mon-"

"No. Absolutely not."

Harry waved him away and continued eating his banana, while Louis gasped, offended he hadn't let him finish.

"But Ha-"

"I don't want to Hear it, the answer is no."

"Mum!"

"Louis, if you want that job, you know what you have to do."

"That's no fair mum!"

"Louis, stop whining. You're not getting a job and that's final."

"But I need it Harry!"

"What is it you need, huh?"

Harry now got off his barstool seat and stood in front of Louis, the sight intimidating to Anne because harry could literally wreck Louis, the smaller boy so tiny in comparison.

"I-I need stuff H-Harry."

"What type of stuff? Dont I already buy you everything you want?"

"Yes bu-"

"Then what is it you need? Is what im giving you not enough?"

Harry glared down at his younger brother and Louis couldn't handle the intense eye contact, looking from wall to wall.

"Y-Yes, I mean....N-No. Harry, im not going to college when I graduate in 2 years. I need to raise money a-"

"Louis, what is it you want?"

"Stuff you can't give me Harry!"

"Like what huh? I'll pay for whatever you want"

"Really?"

"Really."

"Are you going to buy me a house Harry? Really?"

The question threw Harry offguard completely, the older boy turning to his mum who just shrugged.

"A house?"

"Exactly Harry, you can't. you don't even have a job. Your money is bound to run out."

Harry scoffed and turned to look at his mum, who just rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Baby, I don't need any money. I have more than you think. I'll buy you a house. what else?"

Louis stared at Harry dumbfounded, not really thinking he was going to have to answer any more questions than that. he was for sure he had the last laugh.

"I want a car."

"Done. What else?"

Louis turned to look at Anne and his mother just shrugged.

"Uh...um. I want a swimming pool!"

"Done. What else?"

"I want my own playground too."

"Done. What else?"

"What are you, rich?!"

Louis grew annoyed and Harry smirked.

"No. just had a very generous grandma that ill be able to cash in when I'm 18."

Louis eyes glanced between Anne and Harry and saw his mother nod, answering his question before he could even speak it.

"So the answer to your previous question is......still no. You cant get a job."

"But Harry, I dont want your money. I want to live off of my own "

"No Louis, you know how I feel about you doing things out of your comfort zone. Your place is on that sofa in the living room in your comfy clothes sipping on tea, eating your M&ms, and watching movies."

"You mean being a lazy arse?!"

"Louis, you can't do shit right now okay! Try and hide it all you want, but I can hear you moaning just walking up the stairs. You think someone's going to hire you when you refuse to get out of those big hoodies and baggy pants?!. Louis, you even wear that to school all because you can't get over that stupid looks mentality shit. Your body is failing you Louis, you're dying!"

Louis covered his face and Harry groaned, realizing he had Begun to cry.

"Harry, dont say that to your bro-"

"Im going to tell him what you should have told him since the beginning mom. Louis, you're months away from dying and im sorry if im trying to do my best here to keep you with me the longest I can. Look at me Louis."

"Harry, just leave me alone."

"Louis"

"Harry, I dont want to hear it!!"

"Louis, im just telling you what you should know!"

"DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH. I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Louis got off his stool and aimed towards the exit, where he was unfortunately stopped and swept off his feet. There was a shriek along with Anne's scream telling Harry to be careful in the kitchen echoing through Harry's ears, which made him a little startled at first.

"Harry, put me down!!!"

"No, im going to carry my baby to his castle."

"No Harry, put me down!!!"

Harry smiled at Louis as he walked out the kitchen with Louis in his hold, bridal style, heading towards the living room. There was a sudden strain that stung in Harry's back and the older boy frowned, feeling it go right up his shoulders.

"Louis, did you gain a few p-"

Harry stopped midway sentence as he saw Louis eyes widened with horror, and the tears began to come down faster than waterfalls.

"Nonononono Louis, I didn't mean t-"

"LIAR!!! I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOU I WAS FAT. PUT ME DOWN!!"

"No Louis baby, I-I just haven't carried you in a wh-"

"PUT ME DOWN NOW!!! MUM!!!"

"Harry, put your brother down."

"Louis please I-"

"Harry, let me go! How many times do I have to tell you. Just let me go! Move on with your life. Let me go dammit, let me go!"

Harry didn't want to let go.

"I-I already did." Louis whispered, covering his face.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[November]

Harry followed behind Louis pushing the shopping cart, annoyed, never in a million years thinking it would come to the day to where he was forced to do this.

And especially for one of his enemies.

Edward.

"Don't these look cute Harry? look. it says. I have the world's greatest dad."

Louis smiled as he picked up the small yellow, monkey patterned onesie and flashed it towards the older boy. Harry looked at it and scoffed, rolling his eyes and looking at the other items in the isle.

"Is there one that says World's Worst. Think that fits Edward a little better."

"Harold."

"im just saying."

Louis sighed and placed the item in the cart, along with the other 8 pair that said something similar. 

"I don't get why we have to do this. He can come himself. "

"He's working today Harry. He cant."

"How would you know?"

"Because we text."

Harry turned his attention away from the baby bibs and turned to glare at Louis, who made a oops face and turned away.

"You what?"

"Harry, were cousins. its what we do."

"Not with Edward. you know I don't like him."

Harry moved away from the car and approached the smaller boy, until he was breathing hard behind his back and Louis picked up two pairs of socks.

"The ones with bananas or the ones with zebras?"

"Louis. WHY are you talking to him."

Louis sighed and placed the socks back where they were before on the rack.

"Because were friends Harry. you should be too."

Harry frowned and shook his head, not saying another word to Louis and reaching out beside him. 

Harry grabbed the banana patterned shaped socks off the rack and placed them in the cart, which Louis might or might not have giggled at.

"You and your bananas." Louis whispered.

"Excuse me, did you say something?"

"Nothing Hazza, nothing. Nice selection of socks."

Harry glared and continued to push the cart through the isle.

"I don't see why Edward can't just tell his girlfriend to do the shopping. or why the hell he didn't ask her what gender the baby was."

"The girlfriend doesn't want the baby so of course she isn't going to comply. and besides....i think the not knowing the gender of the baby until its born is really exciting"

"yeah right and They should just abort it then."

Harry felt the cart stumble back into his stomach and frowned when he realized Louis had came into a halt, the cart hitting his back.

He slipped out from the behind the car and approached Louis who was rubbing his back and breathing uncontrollably

"im so sorry louis, I didn-"

"Dont touch me! How can you say such a horrible thing! its just a baby!"

Louis yanked his arm out of Harry's hold and began to walk away to the shoe section.

"Louis, come back!"

Harry groaned and got a hold of the car, speed walking so he was within Louis reach.

He slowed down once he was standing on the Newborn section and Louis was looking at little ballerina slippers for girls, which were probably half the size of his finger.

"Louis, im sorry."

"Just forget it Harry, im over it."

Harry frowned and sighed, thinking of ways to make up  for his horrible behavior with Louis.

"Louis?"

"Yes mum?"

Anne peeked her head in at the end of the isle and grinned at both the boys, before approaching them with tons of stuff in her hands.

"I found these really cute colorful bottles. I say we buy them."

"Go ahead and put it in then."

"And this too, I feel like umm she would need this."

Harry made a gagging face as his mother held a breast pump and oh god, why had he agreed to coming.

\------------  
"Harry, im going to Baby R US To buy Edward's baby stuff. wanna come along?"

"heck no."

"Ok sweetie. Louis are you ready?"

"im coming mum. just got to put on my jacket."

"On second thought, hold on."

\-----------

Oh that's why.

Harry turned to Louis to share his disgust and felt a little amused when he saw the look of horror on Louis face.

"N-No. I think she wouldn't. didn't Edward say his girlfriend was going to use milk formula to feed the baby. I think yes, go put it back."

"Nooo, breastt feeding is the healthiest thing for a baby. we're taking it."

"Mum, I dont thin-"

"We're taking it."

Anne walked away and squealed when she took notice of the baby beanies and mittens, disappearing within seconds.

"That looks so gross."

"And scary." Louis stared at the device and looked up at Harry, who was still smiling like a dork.

"Hey, at least she'll get her nippless sucked whenever she wants. Maybe i should buy you one."

Louis face paled and Harry couldn't help but burst out laughing when the smaller boy began to blush and stick his middle finger at him.

"Im just joking sweet cheeks."

"Fuckk off."

Harry continued to laugh as Louis got back to the baby shoes and began to skimmer through them.

Harry began to look too, bored, and was intrigued when there was a pair of camo baby boots on sale for boys, right above the rack where the power ranger tennis shoes were organized.

He picked up the small baby boot and placed it in his palm and couldn't help but feel like such a giant next to the shoe.

Was this how small a baby foot was when newborn?

He stared at the shoe for longer, finding something rare about it and it took him a certain someone to take him out of his trance.

"Harold, are you alright?"

Harry snapped out of it and placed the boot back where it was, shaking then nodding his head.

"Is there something wrong with that shoe? You've been staring at it for a couple of minutes."

"No. Its nothing. Are you done picking out shoes?"

"Um yeah. picked out for both genders. "

"okay then, lets go."

~~~~~~

For the next hour, Harry and Louis wandered the isles looking at clothes and toys and million other baby stuff Harry didn't know existed.

Surprisingly to Louis, Harry began to participate in the decisions and Louis would be lying if he said, that didn't make his heart flutter.

"Louis, a girl baby would not like a plain old doll. get the baby the talking one."

"Really Louis, a small pistol. Get the baby a machine gun toy. that's what will make him a man."

"That crown looks cute but I think the purple one will match the shoes you got better . see. it has the sparkles."

"I personally like swords, but if you think nunchunks are the things babies like, then go ahead."

"Louis, have you not learned anything at all. Boys do not like zebras, they like lions. Lions means strength. get the baby a lion rattle."

"Well if its a girl, then get it a pink zebra rattle."

"Bananas are my thing Louis, you can't just buy the baby everything that has bananas. its my thing."

"No of course im not going to be jealous of the baby, I'm just saying that bananas belong to me."

"I'm just going to have to be the one that says it but that stuffed meerkat bear animal thing looks like a dild0 and if Edward asks why we bought the baby that toy, im going to let him skin you Alive.

"Well duh I think the fluffy unicorn is better than the meerkat Louis. what baby would like a meerkat? sheesh. you know what, you push the cart. ill pick out the stuff. you are horrible at this."

And the list went on, and Louis was laughing the whole time as they walked through the whole store until there wasn't a corner the two boys hadn't yet seen.

When they got to the register, Harry knew something was up, recognizing the puppy face with the bottom lip stuck out trick Louis always pulled when he needed something.

"Im going to have to pay for this, aren't i?"

"I may or may have not promised Edward this would be your baby shower gift to him."

"Louis."

"Im sorry im sorry, I'll make it up to you later."

Harry couldn't help but smirk and wiggle his eyebrows at Louis at that moment and didn't find it surprising when he was getting smacked on his arm.

He slid his credit card and typed in his pin, the lady nodding when the merchandise was confirmed to be paid and the cashier was helping Louis load the cart. 

"It's okay, I got it."

Harry waved the girl away and began to help Louis load the cart, glancing every couple of seconds at his mom who was like a little child walking around the binkies section.

When Harry was loading the last items, he couldn't help but find it odd that the pair of baby camo boots he had been looking at in the shoe isle an hour earlier, was in the bag along with the other shoes Louis had picked out too.


	9. Chapter 9

"I dont know Harry, I dont feel like this is the...right ...shade anymore. I mean, what if the baby doesnt like yellow?

"Louis, the baby isnt going to know bonkers when it gets here. Its just gonna go, 'Goo Goo Gaga' and shit. Now dont tell me you want to change it because im already finished with half of the room and im not going back."

"But Harrehh."

"Louis, I will literally leave you to paint this yourself if you start with your shit."

"Okay Okay, sheesh. I was just going to ask you if you could go get me a drink. Im thirsty."

Harry drop the paint roller on the newspaper covered floor and crossed his arms, watching the smaller boy on the bed obseving his work like a piece of art.

"You have not picked up, ONE, paint brush in the past 2 hours. Now why in the world would you think im going to go get you a drink."

"well you love me dont you? My feet hurt Harold. Please. " Louis leaned back on the edge of the bed and pouted, wiggling his feet towards Harry so he could show his pain.

"Y-You. You are just going to kill me."

Harry rolled his eyes and exited Louis plastic covered bedroom, wiping the sweat off his forehead as he went downstairs. Anne passed him with a knowing smile and Harry just glared, earning a small chuckle from the older lady.

"Knew you were whipped."

Harry passed by his mother and opened the refrigerator, taking the small jar of lemonade and taking a whole chug, his adams apple bobbing with how much thirst the poor boy had been through in the past couple of hours. With the promise of getting paid, Harry had agreed to paint Louis room, Edwards future Room, for 200$. 

At first, the older boy had refused, the money signs on his bank account having no need for Edwards small paycheck. However, the previous morning, Harry had woken up to a small envelope in his night stand with the cash and didnt end up backing out, thinking fvck it, and waking up Louis so they could go pick out whatever color he thought babys would like.

They had spent 2 hours at Home Depot, Louis undecisive of the 50 shades of green they had at the store. It took him a minute at the end to pick a simple yellow, and to say Harry was pissed, would be an understatement.

"Here."

Harry handed the boy a small cup of tea and picked up the paint roller, starting to paint the room again while the smaller boy sat back and sipped on his cup of tea, reading magazines.

*

When Harry was finished painting with the brush the last remanining parts of the room, he could hear little snores in the background, when turning, just confirming his assumptions.

Although he had been annoyed all morning, seeing Louis sleeping like a baby made it all better, the smaller boy all curled up with his blankie on the bed a sight to die for. Harry smiled and headed towards the door frame, where his hand met the light switch and turned it off, not wanting to disturb his Louis.

He approached the edge of the bed and grabbed Louis second blankie and placed it on top of him, along with delicately raising his head so he could slip a pillow under his feathery hair. Louis merely noticed, his snores softening as his body could feel he was being moved, although still not conscious.

Harry leaned down and pressed a kiss to the smaller boy's shut lips, not seeing anything wrong with secretly loving a person from up close.

\-------------------

"You are my favourite Louis. I'll love you always."

"Aww Eddie. Stop it."

Harry was getting ready to stab his fellow family member as he gripped the arm rests of the couch, watching Edward place Louis on his lap and wrap his arms around the boys shoulders, making the smaller boy giggle.

Edward had been at it for the past 1 Hour, 26 minutes, 29 seconds, .9 miliseconds, in Harry's mind, the older boy counting down until 2 hours, which would be his limit for tolerating his cousin and his deep affection for HIS brother.

HIS Louis.

Not Edward's.

Harry couldnt make any sense towards the way Edward acted around Louis, so loving and careful, always complementing Louis as if the world depended on it. The same went to William, who was equally annoying to Edward, yet spent more time out of his sight with Louis than Edward did. Edward was always at the house while William liked to take Louis out for movies or dinner or whereever Louis didnt tell him they went.

He was beggining to grow annoyed with their friendship actually, finding himself getting a lot of

'oh nothing'

'oh nowhere'

'we went just out'

etc, and barely getting enough time to spend with the smaller boy.

Louis was either always out, always with William, always with Edward, with his mum, or sleeping. 

And Yes, Harry was annoyed, because Louis would be leaving this world in 4 Months and the smaller boy wasnt even making an effort to comunicate. Harry felt he was being pushed away. Louis slept in his own room and 99% of the time, he was either locked up or sleeping on the couch. It was getting ridicolous to Harry because, he didnt want to feel pushing back his college career had been all for nothing,

but thats exactly how he felt.

Harry watched as Louis removed himself from Edwards lap and excused himself to the restroom, which gave Harry the perfect view of his cousin so he could stab him with his eyes. 

1 Hour, 31 minutes, 17 seconds, .2 miliseconds

"Will you wipe that look off your face. Why are you always looking at me like that. Its pretty weird."

Harry rolled his eyes and looked towards the TV Hanging off the wall, thinking of a million comebacks he could easily spit out, but decided not to.

1 Hour, 33 minutes, 35 seconds, .4 miliseconds

"Hey. Harry. I need to tell you something."

Harry glanced at Edward and sighed, not really in the mood to make any type of conversation with his sworn enemie,

"I just want to say, I really appreciate what you did the other day Harry. It was very thoughtful of you."

"I didnt do it for you."

Edward nodded his head and chuckled, looking away towards the tv before turning back to his younger cousin.

"I know. And thats what weirds me out sometimes. You are like a 3 legged dog running for Louis. Why?"

Harry could feel the tension suddenly rise in the air, begging to be cut with a knife as soon as possible. Harry sat up from his seat and leaned over the couch, entwining his own hands together in his lap while he locked eyes with Edward.

"I'd Ask you the same thing but you probably wouldnt answer. Wouldnt you Edward?"

Edward raised his right eyebrow and scoffed, shaking his head while he mimicked Harrys posture on the opposite couch.

" Why would I need to explain myself to you? Youre the younger one here. Im serious Harry, I find it very adorable you do everything for..... Louis. I just dont understand why. If you think I havent seen those cheek kisses you have gave him at our family reunions, youre wrong. What gives? I care about Louis as equally as I care about you. But Louis is the younger one here and I feel its right we pay him a little more close attention to."

"What are you trying to imply precisely Edward?"

"What do you think im trying to imply?"

"I think youre just trying to imply your title as an arsehole and that you find it weird I would go to the extent of the world for my younger brother. Just because William kicked you out doesnt mean its okay for you to come ruin my relationship with Louis."

"Im not trying to ruin anything for you. Im just trying to figure out what are your intentions towards him."

"There is no intentions, Louis is my little brother."

""Edward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come here please!!!!!!!!!!"

Louis voice rang through the house and startled Harry, the younger boy peeking out to the hall to see if Louis had heard. When he saw no one outside the living room hallway, he turned back around to Edward who was surpringsly, already standing in front of the curly haired boy.

Harry moved back and felt uncomfortable as Edward leaned into the crook of his neck, where his whispers made his whole body shiver in fear.

"Oh Yeah? And since when is it okay to pin down your little brother to the sand and snog the life out of him. If you think I didn't see you Kissing Louis that day you stormed out on us at Dinner, youre very wrong Harry. You are very very wrong."

Harry stayed motionless as Edward backed away and left the living room with a steaming look on his face, shaking his head while he walked out in search for Louis.

\---------------------------

Harry paced uncontrollably in his sisters room, His room, back and forth as he tried to come up with a reasonable explanation he could tell Edward for his actions.

Fuckkkkk.

Would he tell his mother?

He would have surely done so already if he wanted to, it had been months, half a year almost since it had happened. 

He could deny it.

He could tell his mother Edward was a lying little shit and was doing just so he could mess with him. His mother would surely beleive him right? She had to. And Louis would back him up instead of taking edwards side.

 

Right?

Harry tugged at his curls upset, realizing Edward probably already had Louis wrapped around his finger.

or what if Edward sneakily seduced Louis already into his hold. The picture of Louis on his knees with his pretty little mouth around Edward co-

"Harry?"

Harry turned around and watch as Louis knocked softly on his door and peeked in, looking like a robber with his black beanie on but his image passing over Harrys head, mind only on 3 things.

Edward.

Louis.

Knees.

"Can yo-"

"Whatever you want, the answer is NO. Go tell Edward to do it for you."

"But Eddie just left and I was thinking i-"

"Thats not my problem. Get out of my room!"

Harry scowled and Louis frowned in the doorway, the tears in his eyes beggining to form.

"Is this what you really want?"

"Just go!"

"Bu-"

"Go Away Louis!!!"

Harry walked towards the door and pushed Louis back, slamming the door shut in his face while he punched it when it closed.

How could Louis do this to him?

How could he?

*********

How could he?

How could he do this to Louis?

Harry wiped away his dried tears and went downstairs after an hour, Louis missing from his room. 

How could Harry let his emotions bring out the worst in him. He couldnt treat Louis the way his imagination told him to do so. His negative thoughts were of no merit and of no excuse to treat Louis like he wasnt worth anything.

He was worth all the universes combined.

Harry walked into the living room and grew nervous when the figure laying on the couch wasnt his brother.

"Mom, wheres Louis?"

Anne turned away from her coffee mug, making Harry frown as Anne frowned.

"I thought you two were at the park. He said you guys were going to the park? are you crying?"

Anne set her coffee mug on the small table in the middle of the room and turned towards her older son, who just covered his face, guilty.

"He wanted to go to the park?"

"Um, yes sweetie. He told me he was going to ask you to accompany him after Edward left. I-I thought you had gone. Where were you?"

"Ive been in my room."

Anne and Harry stared at each other in silence for a couple of seconds before the older woman getting up from the couch and reaching above the firewood place for her phone.

"He wouldnt."

"he wouldnt what?"

"Go out by himself. He knows its not safe for him."

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and shook his head, slowly stepping away from his mother and walking towards the exit of the living room.

"I-I have to go find him."

"No wait Harry, Im going to calll him so I know where hes a-"

"Mom, its raining outside. I need to go now before he gets anymore wet and sick."

"Hold on, the number is dialing."

"Mom, im going to g-"

"Hold on, Shhhhh!"

Anne raised her index finger at Harry and pressed it to his lips, the room becoming silent and Harry staring at his mom with widened eyes. Both mother and son turned as they heard the familiar Mario ringtone on Louis cell, Harry and Anne heading towards their front porch. 

When Harry reached the entrance of his home, he pulled the door wide opened and felt his heart sink as his brother was reveleaed on the other side with his whole body shaking.

"Louis!"

Anne moved past Harry and pulled the soaked boy inside the house, commanding Harry to get towels from the restroom.

Harry obeyed and ran to the restroom, grabbing the towels and heading back to the hallway.

"Louis? Louis darling, whats wrong?"

Harry slowed down as he heard a couple of feet away from him Anne talking to the smaller boy who was unresponsive, waving her hand akwardly in front of Louis face. Harry got closer and peeked at Louis from over his mothers shoulder, who was staring right through her and mumbling incoherent sounds.

"Louis baby, whats wrong?"

"Mom, what happened?"

Anne flinched, not knowing Harry was behind her and clutched at her chest.

"Jesus Harry.....I-I dont know. H-Hes not responding."

Harry frowned and gave his mother the towels, leaning down to stare right into Louis eyes.

"Blue? Blue, whats wrong."

"Louis baby, whats wrong?"

"Lou. Answer me."

Harry could feel his tears well up into his eyes as he looked into Louis eyes and could see nothing but pitch black, resembling a soulless bird.

"Louis. Answer me."

Harry grabbed a hold of Louis shoulders and began to shook him, Anne clawing her nails in Harrys arms and pulling him away.

"Dont do that! I-I dont ...I dont know. Im going to put Louis in a bath and then dont call the doctor. I dont know whats wrong with him. C-Call the doctor Harry."

Anne grabbed a hold of Louis and began to lead him to the restroom, leaving Louis glued to the ground clueless on what to do. He knew what to do.

He just couldnt believe what he was going to have to do.

He watched in sorrow as his mother shut the door behind her as she entered the hallway bathroom with his brother.

The second the door closed, Harry was up and into his mothers bedroom, where he began to search through her drawers chaoticly for any hopsital records that would contain the doctors number. Louis had private doctor, Harry knew, yet couldnt find nothing but junk in his mothers bedroom.

He threw out the stupid court files all over the floor and began to search for his name or number but was hopeless, not finding any clues of where the dudes information could be. He wondered if he typed Dr. Winston on google would work, but ended up having no luck, the world having 498 more Ben Winstons that he expected.

Frustuated, he dropped everything and headed back to the restroom, where he barged in as Anne was finishing folding Louis clothes on top of the sink.

Harry looked towards the bath and felt an overwhelming feeling of throwing himself down a bridge, the sight of Louis looking into space in his bubble bath, devastating.

"Did you call him already?"

"I-I cant find him. I cant find his phone number."

"Stay here then, Ill go look for it."

Anne gave the towels in her hold to Harry and stepped pass him, leaving Harry standing baffled and gloomy. The older boy frowned and sat on the floor of the restroom, staring at Louis in dismay as he sat paralyzed.

 

"L-Lou? what happened? Why are you like this? Please talk to me. Im so sorry."

Harry bit his lip as he felt a single tear roll down his cheek. Louis made no movement, staring at the water hose like if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"I was jealous earlier. I let him get the best of me. Im sorry. I should have never done it."

Harry reached out and scooped a little bit of the water and bubbles floating and placed it on Louis head, caressing his fringe out of his face.

No movement.

"Louis, I understand if you dont want to talk to me but at least talk to my mom. S-Shes really worried."

No response.

"Did something happen while you were out there? Im sorry Louis, I didnt know you only wanted to go to the park. Im such an arsehole Im sorry. I love you. Please talk."

Harry took his hand out of Louis hair and tugged at his hair again, feeling desperate for any type of signal Louis could give. Harry looked towards the door as he heard footsteps approach, apruptly, feeling his heart beggining to pound inside of him as he saw from the corner of his eyes Louis move his head.

He turned and his heart sped up as Louis locked eyes with his, yet the horror inside of his once blue orbs making him disintegrate.

"I saw Her."

Louis whispered and Harry kneeled beside the bath tub, leaning into the smaller boy for more answers.

"Saw who? Your mom?"  
Harry tried to reach out and cup Louis face but was met with a surprise of a lifetime as Louis slapped his hand away, face scrunching up in anger, and steam almost coming out of Louis ears.

"Get out."

"Louis, wh-"

"Get out Harry. Harry get out!"

"Louis pl-"

"I SAID GET OUT! MOM!!!!!! MOM!!!!"

"Louis whats wrong?"

Harry covered his eyes as Louis began to violently splash soap in his face and moved away, the sound of the door opening making Harry turn away to meet his mothers anxious eyes.

"MOM, TELL HIM TO LEAVE!"

"harry, please sweetie, step out for a second."

"But mo-"

"Harry, please step out."

********

Harry waited outside the restrooom door with his ear pressed the closest he could to the wood, trying to hear any conversation.

There was none.

He had just brought his brother his pair of pyjamma pants and the Hollister hoodie he loved to wear all the time, trying to make Louis feel the most comfortable way he could, still thinking the boy was in some type of trance.

Harry stepped away from the door as he saw the handle move and was met with the sight of his mother with tired eyes, with only a glance of Louis staring at himself in the mirror in the background. Anne shut the door behind her and tried to smile at her son, but failed, her attempts not conving enough to anyone.

"The doctor just called, Him and his paramedics have been knocking on the door for a couple of minutes now. Why didnt you answer?"

Harry blinked and had no reasonable explanation.

Harry hadnt heard them.

"Stay right here. Im going to go let them in"

Harry nodded and did not bother watching her mother leave, eyes glued to the door who hid Louis on the other side. Once again, the older boy pressed his ear to the door and tried to listen to any possible sound, even if it was a complany or whiny Louis. He just wanted to hear his baby again and he did,

having his third heart attack that night as he heard little whimpers from the other side of the door.

With his mother already a few feet away, Harry couldnt help but push the door open,wanting to know what Louis was doing.

As the red trickled down the smaller boys wrist and the blade fell to the floor, The world stopped around him, her yells static to his ears, while he watched the lights above him become a blur.

"Im sorry" he whispered, seeing those emerald eyes one last time in the door frame before falling lifeless on the floor.

Everything happened within the matter of seconds, the doctor pushing by the older boy to step into the restroom and drop to the floor where the smaller boy laid still.

"He's dying! Get the bed ! Get the bed right now!"

Harry saw his world slowly fade away as the blood began to pour all over the floor, the last image before falling to the floor was Louis dead on the floor too.

**************************

White

White

All White.

Harry looked around all Louis assigned floor and couldnt help to be overwhelmed with the masssive amount of white the hospital decor had been designed to acquire, white walls, white floors, white desks, white windows, with white nursing outfits in 99.9% of the people walking around the hallways with clipboards on their hands.

Stupid white.

Harry walked in his blue robe to Room #846, feeling a little silly walking with the IV needle connected to this big robot machine, as harry called it, to go anywhere, even the restroom. He had tried to take it out earlier but the nurse assigned to him had flip shitss and almost tried to tie him down to the bed.

So he left the needle in.

When Harry woke up, his mother was beside him to tell him the events from the previous night, the rushing to the hospital with two kids in each ambulance that had her almost in a bed in a third ambulance.

Harry apoligized for scaring his mom, never actually experiencing passing out and not meaning to do it when she least needed it. 'There was so much blood' was all he could mumble as he began to cry. 'His blood'. Anne had wrapped her arms around him and comforted her son until he eventually passed out again with the blow he had received to the head on the way down, making him have a small concussion.

He woke up that afternoon crying out for his dear brother it took several nurses to calm him down enough to explain what had happened to his Louis and where he was.

So Harry walked to room #846, feeling dozens of emotions as he stood in front of the door and the nurse stuck the key in the door, letting him in.

Already hearing the rules only a million times before he entered, he bit his lip in an attempt to not cry out when he saw Louis had more robot machines connected to him than he had. The Nurse closed the door behind her, whispering '10 minutes' before stepping out.

Harry walked towards the bed and fought so hard the temptation to take Louis in his arms and kiss him endlessly to demonstrate how much he loved him and last nights experience had proved to him how much he needed him in his life.

Harry stood beisde the bed and cringed at the band wrapped around the smaller boys wrist, symbolizing a mistake Harry had made.

He had caused it.

It was his fault.

As Always.

Harry leaned down and pressed a kissed delicately where the wound laid underneath the gauze band, not wanting to hurt Louis, yet, show how sorry he was.

When he looked up, the smaller boy was already waken from his slumber, staring at Harry with hawk eyes before quickly melting away and beggining to cry.

Harry stepped back and said nothing as Louis tore apart in front of him, feeling the same pain he was feeling inside of him and already torn.

"H-How could you." Harry choked out and shook his head, feeling utter dissapointment towards Louis beside him.

"I-I hope youre happy."

"W-Why would I be Happy? D-Do you think im happy?"

"I dont know Louis, you tell me! How could you just...how could you just try and leave like that!"

"Well at least you know now how i felt that day you almost took your life aw-"

"NO! This is in no way similar to that day Louis!"

"Y-Yes it is."

"No its not!"

"It is!"

"You wanna know the effin difference Louis?"

"Ha-"

"I didnt pull the trigger, Louis! I didnt pull the trigger! You did....Y-You did."

Harry covered his mouth and shook his head, letting the tears fall down like endless waterdrops on a rainy day. Louis bit his lip and looked down at the hospital bed sheets shattered.

"What happened Louis? Why did you act that way? This has been the worst experience of my life besides finding my sister floating in Nialls pool. Do you know how that makes me feel Louis? I was about to be for the third time, the murdererr of my sibling. Once again, I dont... I cant."

"Harry, you need to stop blaming yourself for the deaths of your other siblings. It wasnt your fault. It was never your fault."

"But this was."

Harry sat back on the waiting room chairs and rested his head on the palms of his hands confused, not knowing what to do.

"Sometimes I wish I could take this all back you know. I know some of these strong feelings only developed because of our relationship and what I would give to get rid of this pain in my heart someday."

Harry wiped his tears away and continued shaking head, not being able to look at his brother on the hospital bed.

" Or i could have just listened to my mom and not brought you back a day early. Imagine how our lives would be right now if we could have waited one day to come home......One day Louis. I-It could have made a difference."

"Why is it so hard to understand Harry. I-I dont want to b-"

"Im not asking for your hand anymore Louis. Or your love. Its clear to me now, well never be able to have that together. Youve made sure of that."

"M-Me?"

"Yes You. I-I stayed here for you. I pushed my future back to be here with you. And you pushed me away instead."

Harry looked up at Louis and couldnt help but grow upset as the boy stared back at him furious.

"If this about you not going to Princeton because you thought I was dying, then its not my fault youre a fvcking idiot!"

Louis spat and Harry stood up from his seat, not believing what he was hearing.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me! If you regret staying here so much then just go! Leave! I dont care!"

"Of course you dont, You have Edward and Will."

"What are you waiting for then? Leave! I dont want to see you anymore! You can have your fcking Princeton sh1t career and you can go! I knew you never wanted to be with me anyway! I know I annoy you!"

"Yes Louis, you actually do! Harry, do this, Harry, do that! Harry my back hurts, Harry my feet hurt, Harry im hungry, Harry im thirsty, Harry carry me here, Harry carry me there. Harry go buy me m&ms at fucking four in the morning! YES LOUIS. You are the most annoying person ive met! Always nagging me and complaing and whining and I will leave. Im going to leave the second I get out of here. The sooner I get away from you the better! Then well see if you can find someone who will put up with you, you ungrateful brat!"

"I Will! Leave! Leave Already! Just go! I never want to see you again!"

Harry's hands turned into fists as he walked away from Louis and sustained his tears, opening the door and seeing how startled the nurse was when he had finished faster than the 10 minutes he was given.

"Goodbye Louis. I hope you have a great life."

"I dont. Goodbye."

*************************

Anne walked into Louis room at night with the biggest smile on her face, which creeped out Louis a little until he was being pulled into a big hug.

"Will, Edward, and your cousins are here to see you Boo."

"Can they come in?"

"Yeah, I will tell them to come in as soon as I finish telling your how proud I am of you."

"Proud? Why?"

Louis shifted in his bed slowly and furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing anything good that could possibly come out of him being in the hospital.

"What you told Harry. You encouraged my boy to pursue his dreams."

"What do you mean his dreams?"

"His Dreams Louis. My boy is on his way to America this instant and all because of you. Im so glad you finnaly let him go Louis."

Anne pressed a kiss to Louis cheek and the smaller boy pulled away, shaking hishead repeatdely.

"N-No. N-No it cant be. That wasnt me."

"What?"

"M-Mom that wasnt me. That wasnt me talking."

"What do you mean sweetie."

Annes eyes widened as the heart monitor next to Louis bed began to beep uncontrollably, Louis state altering his heart rate and making Anne jitter.

"L-Louis calm down sweetie."

"MOM THAT WASNT ME! I DIDINT SAY THAT. IT WASNT....I DIDNT MEAN IT. I-I WASNT TALKING."

"Louis please calm down!"

"IT WASNT ME MOM, MY MOOD SWINGS I -I..."

"Louis!"

"I WANT MY HARRY MOM. I WANT HARRY. I DIDNT MEAN IT."

Anne ran out the room and went in search for help as Louis began to pull out all the needles inserted into his body, trying to escape the confinement he was in, in search of his Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can also find me @booandhazzababe on wattpad :)


	10. Chapter 10

(Harrys POV)

I look out the window as we approach my destination, taking in the beautiful sight of the palm trees that resemble skyscapers back in my hometown. The sky lacks the dull color im accustomed to, clouds almost like pillow stuffing, sun brighter than a lightbulb, the wind breeze through my hair an exquisite feeling that has my skin tingling with excitement.

Taking my waller out the back pocket of my black skinnies, I wave the taxi driver away with a generous tip and a genuine smile.

This is it.

Up the stairs I climb with a suitcase in each hand, the small shop above the sandy ground looking so rad Im impressed more with my mate than I originally planned to. I ring the bell with my elbow and wait for a couple of minutes for someone to answer the door.

When they do, Im greeted with a huge smile and headshake, my mates smile reaching almost the corner of his eyes.

"Well, isnt it my little brother from another mother. Welcome to L.A Styles."

"Glad to be here Sheeran."

************

I look around the Tattoo parlor and cant help but be amazed with how much Ed has accomplished since he left Cheshire a year ago, my second best mate only one level higher than me when we were back in school.

He has trophies and certificates for being such a extraordinary tattoo artist on the walls, as well as awards for having the most skilled drawing employees. There is pictures after pictures with celebrities hanging on each side of the purple walls, ones with Ed himself while others with the men and women in their twenties who work with him.

When he had spoke about coming to L.A and starting his dream of being a tattoo artist, in honest truth, I hadnt believed for a second he had been serious about it.

It wasnt until he had sent me a selfie with the Hollywood sign right after his graduation that I had realized he was a brave little shit and had actually left Chesire at the Age of 19.

He was now 19 and running one of Hollywoods most known tattoo parlors in the city as well as the state. Who knew he could be successful at 20, dropping out of uni and whatnot.

"Harry, cmere mate. I want you to meet someone."

I turned away from the portrait of Ed and John Cena and was met with a sight of a really beautiful woman standing by the ginger haired boys side. 

Her eyes raked my body up and down while I stared in awe at her radiant eyes, finding them the most prettiest thing about her whole image.

"is dat hem?'

"The one and Only."

The words rolled off her tongue so smoothly and i couldnt help but hear the strong accent in her voice, definately not American as far as I knew.

"Indrukwekkend. Niet de beste , maar hij zal doen . Zeer mooie jukbeen structuur, maar zijn lichaam zal het lukken . leuke Ed."

I stared at Ed in horror not understanding a single word that came out the woman's mouth. What language was that?

"Harry, meet Kim. Kim Noora. Vogue's newest CEO on board."

The woman gone by the name of Kim held out her hand which I hesitantly took. She looked down at our entwined hands and brought it up to her face, beggining to twist and turn it until i pulled away.

"Dat was zeer onbeleefd . Hij zal niet in staat om dat te doen als de stylisten proberen te perfectioneren . Geen handen model zo bezorgd im . Handen zijn te groot"

"The fuck did she just call me?"

Ed beside her bursted out in laughter and shook his head while the woman just stared at me with her eyebrows raised, not impressed.

"She didnt call you anything Harry. She just said you would suck being a hand model because your hands are too big."

"Since when do you talk that weird ass language."

"hoe durf je belt mijn taal raar! Ik zal je laten zien wat raar kan zijn!!"

The woman grew angry and I took step back, not understanding why Ed was laughing like if this was the funniest thing in the world.

"Shes Dutch dude and she found that very offensive."

"well sorry, you should have told me that before. Why is she here?"

"Well...you told me over the phone you needed some temporary job until you start Uni and I thought of the most brilliant idea. Kim here is looking for new, fresh faces to get Vogue's newest modeling agency on the go and I thought, who else would be better for the job than my mate Harry Styles."

I looked between the woman and Ed in disbelief, wondering if this was all a joke.

"You mean....as a model?"

"Yes Young Man."

The woman answered and I couldnt help but burst out in laughter, realizing this was all a joke.

"The fuck you take me for. Some type of puppet you can dress around and false advertise. Absolutely not. Nice joke mate. Gotta give you props."

I patted Sheerans back before mimicking the same action towards the woman, probably Sheerans best friend or summat. She grunted as my palm collided with her back, yanking my arm away from her and scoffing.

She leaned down and reached something from her bag, offering me a small rectangular sheet with a couple of writting on it. I took it and gaped at sight, scanning throughout the small piece of paper in disbelief.

$4,000 dollars.

"I-Is this-"

"Your beggining check. You need home. Home close to modeling studio. Utilize this for home. Weekly checks will consist of $6,000. $7,000 if good sales. $9,000 if requested by other type agencies. $10,000 everytime your face lands on the cover of top magazines besides ours. We will discuss further details when you sign with us this Monday."

I was left speechless in the middle of the room as everyone stared at the foreign kid that was offered a high paying job, hours within landing. Even if I didnt make sales or got requested, working 6 weeks before going to Uni would be a total of $36,000, in addition to my nanas inheritance once i turned 18, and my savings.

I could possibly pay my tuition myself.

"This is....um. This is alot. What exactly would I be modeling?"

Ed raised his hands and walked away, leaving me alone with the beautfiful woman with zero facial expressions.

"Underwear for now."

************

"I cant believe you chose this flat mate. There was nicer ones down the block."

"Im not planning on stayin here for long Sheeran. Just need something before I go to Uni. Will be moving into campus then."

"Still mate. You need a good complex for now. Are you really going to bring all the models you pick up at pubs back here? A certain woman you might have met today maybe..."

I rolled my eyes at Sheeran as he wiggled his eyebrows at me, one of my suitcases in his hand while the other contained a beer bottle. It was berly 2 pm, did everyone here get trashed before Happy hour?

"If youre talking about Kim, you are definetly wrong."

"Awww come on Styles. "May i just say you have some of the prettiest eyes ive seen." That was totally a pick up line. Smooth Styles, Smooth."

I scoffed and threw one of my unpacked boots at the ginger haired lad, Ed fake crying when it hit his shin.

"Youre twisting my words around mate. It was just a compliment. Dont you think her blue eyes are pretty too?"

"Yeah mate but i dont tell her."

"Well your jus-"

The sound of my phone ringing brought goosebumps to my skin, forgetting to do the one thing I had promised when I arrived in the states. I immeadtely took the device out of my pocket and hit accepted, getting prepared for a ear full of screaming.

"Hi mum, im so sorry I didnt call earlier."

"Harry Edward Styles, I am very upset with you right now."

Ed across the room began to laugh as my mom echoed through the phone speaker, making me groan as she began to ramble on how careless I was being.

"Im sorry I didnt call. I just had to find a place to say, but good news. I have a job now."

"Really? But you just got there?"

"I know. Remember Ed? He hooked me up with one of his...friends. Ill be starting on Monday."

"Oh thats great sweetie! Im so proud. Where?"

"Modeling for Vogue."

There was a silence on the line and I feared my mother would not approve, thinking it was as stupid as I thought it was when I heard about it at first too.

"Mum?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes...Yes um I was just thinking. Wow. Thats something..alright. Its not permanent right?"

"No way mother. Just until Uni starts and I move on campus."

"Well then, no not at all! Its great youre at least doing something in the mean time. Which reminds me, do you have any permanent adress I can forward your mail to? Princeton has been sending me letters and it be better if they just go directly to you."

"Yeah. Yeah hold on."

I put my suitcase down and headed outside the apartment, looking above the mailbox by the door and reading out the adress. My mother read it back to me and I ensured she had the right adress, making her sigh.

"Okay. Got it son. Well if everything is going great, Ill leave you to it now. Its actually 5 am here and Ill fancy getting some sleep."

I gasped as I realized, my mother was right. Our time zones were different now.

"Im sorry I kept you up mom. Ill let you go now. Wait.... one question."

"What is it sweetheart?"

"Has Louis said...anything about me??"

There was another pause on the phone and my mothers breath was the only audible sound on the line. I waited for a couple of seconds before hearing some mumbles and then my mothers voice.

"Hes happy youre chasing your dreams sweetie. Im going to let you go now. Goodafter noon baby."

"Goodnight mum."

The line cut off and my heart ached, knowing that I had made the right descision despite it ending with me being away from Louis. He was better without me. He would find the perfect partner without me. He would live his life without me.

 

Just like it was suppose to be.

 

*********

[Monday]

"And thats a wrap. Great job all of you! Magnificent!"

Fabio clapped his hands and waved us away to our dressing rooms, where about 30 to 40 other women and men changed back into their clothes with no shame being in front of each other in the nude.

I stepped into my small room and did the opposite, not feeling comfortable changing to my normal underwear on display,

Today had been a very interesting day, modeling a lot harder than just posing in front of the camera and trying to look good. We had to go through 3 stations before actually being able to step on the set.

The first, the dressing room. Every young model was assigned a Fashonista of some sort and was given multiple types of attires (mostly all under garments) to try on until their mentor approved of the look and gave you the thumbs up to procceed to the next station.

The second station, consisted of the waxing, which was the worst in my opinion. Although I had been assigned some simple boxers on my first day, the middle aged lady was consitent of shaving everything in between my thighs.

"Magazines dont like a Hairy, Harry," she said before stripping me from all my hair on my legs, the screams that came next totally not mine whatsoever. I had to be inspected everytime I went on a different shoot and it was the most dreading thing I thought i had came across of all my life. Once the shaving was done and my mentor, Kim , had aprooved, I was sent to the third station.

The Third station was the makeup station. Who knew men who only had to model briefs needed make up on their face, more the less, their legs. I spent one hour getting my body sprayed tan before heading for another half an hour getting a caked face full of blemishes.

"I understand we are not focusing on your face right now but a model should never show a flaw!" Noora commented as i groaned while getting my eyelashes curled.

Once I was completely finished and sent to the shoot, I was surprised every model before me screened was so confident with posing for the camera. They seemed to thrive on the amount of flashes they received, every click that they heard more motivation to strike a worthy pose.

In contrast, once I was in front of the camera, I couldnt help but look away with every flash, according to Noora, resembling a hamster allergic to flashes.

"Kim, that thing is blinding my eyes!"

"Stop complaining and pose right Harry! Look at Veronica. Just look at Veronica."

I groaned and looked at the very pretty black haired woman beside me posing for the camera as if her life depended on it.

"Cmon Harry, its not that hard." She placed a hand on her hip and cleared her face from any expression as she looked at the ceiling. I heard a flash and the picture came up on the big screen, Veronicas proffesionalism making me look horrible as I stood beside her with my mouth opened like dumbarse.

"If you crop our faces out...I think that be a pretty good picture Kim."

I grinned at Kim as she hit her head a couple of times before sending me to the next set.

The next ones were a little easier, the cameras just set below the waist lines. Not having to worry about how my face looked, my posture was excellent, as Fabio recalled and I had receieved a pleased smile from Kim, who I had learned never smiled.

The last sets consisted of ours Torsos and those had to be my favourite, the inked butterfly on my skin looking incredible with proffesional photographers.Kim seemed pleased too, patting my back as we reviewed the last shots and the company agreeing to sign me if I wanted. 

I did.

In a matter of days, my tattoo inspired by Gemma would be in magazines all over the world, and I was proud I could discretely show my love for my sister,

***

I arrived at my house at the same time as the Mailman, 5pm.

I groaned as I realized I already had bills, the water bill, the light bill, the apartment rent, and a couple of more letters in between. I stepped inside my complex and threw myself on the couch, beggining to open each envelope and writting down notes on my notepad on which day each one was due.

Opening the 5th envelope, I realized how distinct it was to the previous ones, less formal than the gas company telling me to call them as soon as possible so they could connect my stove.

Sunday 7, November 7 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

What Kind of a bitch move did you think you could pull on me?!

Very Informal.

How could you just leave me here alone? I didnt mean it. I didnt mean what I said.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I realized who this letter belonged to, putting the sheet down and taking hold of the Envelope.

To Harry Styles

6427 Ellie St, Los Angeles, California

From: Your FuckingBrother You Idiot

8438 Cheshire, England

Louis.

How could he get a hold of me so fast?

It wasnt me who told you I wanted you to leave. If youre wondering how in the world I got a hold of you, mom isnt the lightest phone talker. If you didnt think I wouldnt find you, you are dead wrong. You cant just leave. This cant be the end. Why would you just leave like that, no other words said, no hug goodbye, no warning that you were leaving! You cant just leave me when you want Harry, when things get tough. You said youd be here from me yet you ran away the moment things werent working out. I admit, I was wrong too. I cant control some of the things that come out my mouth but that doesnt mean I dont need you at the end of the day. I need you to come back Harry. I need my brother. I need you.

-Louis Tomlinson

I pulled away from the letter as a drop of water fell onto the sheet, smearing the ink in which his name was written in. 

Did he think a letter would fix everything? 

DId he think his pleas would be enough to bring me back? 

Did he really think this wasnt the end?

I moved across the world to get away from him at his request and now he refused to admit he was the one who had asked for it? 

I grabbed the letter and crumbled it up into a paper ball before throwing it to the wall and walking out my complex, wandering in the streets in desperate need for a drink.

**************

The Letters didn't stop.

Nor did the phone calls.

It been a week and it seemed the more I ignored Louis, the more persistent he became in getting a hold of me.

Didnt he understand I was doing this for him?

After I rejected a couple of his calls, i wasnt surprised I began to receive calls from my mothers cellphone around the crack of dawn. After I began to reject those, unknown numbers began to dial me and I found it pretty amusing he thought I wouldnt notice this 'private caller' would call only seconds after i had rejected his phone number.

November 8 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

I dont know if you received my letter yesterday but I sent a letter and in it, I voiced my concerns on you coming back. I hope im not coming out as rude but I dont find it fair you answered my mums calls but you wont answer mine. Its been 3 days since we spoke Harry and I dont like it. I dont like this way im feeling inside. I feel empty without you here. I want you to come back and nag about how you dont want me to run or go out alot and Ill be okay with it because at least youll be around me and thats all i want. please come back

-Louis Tomlinson

_________________________________________

November 9 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

I know you are receiving my letters because mom said The Princeton lady called and confirmed you had received the tuition bills mum forward you to. I know im sending this to the right adress so there isnt any use of acting like if your not getting my letters. Answer my calls please.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 10 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Why wont you answer me? I know I messed up and I cant take back the things I said but please Hazza, come back. I dont know what to do. You keep ignoring me and I dont know what to do with myself. I feel like im loosing a big part of me and I dont understand how its possible you dont care. I need you Harry, dont treat me this way.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 11 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Im not going to stop writting you letters until you agree to at least talk to me once. Why are you doing this Harry? I understand youre upset but our fight wasnt as bad to move across the world and cut all ties you once had with me. Youre being inmature by ignoring me and sending my calls to voicemail. I know youre doing it on purpose. Please stop. Answer the phone next time I call. Im just trying to fix things.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 12, 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Harry, its been a week since we talked. Whats gotten into you? Our fight wasnt that serious! Please answer your phone youre driving me crazy. You dont know how horrible I feel waking up and finding out that you spoke to mom but you refuse to talk to me. I exsist Harry, I just didnt dissapear into the midst of air when you left. Answer your phone please.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 13 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Youre being ridiculous, do you know that? Im not going to stop sending letters until you answer your damn phone. Text me if you dont want to talk! Just please, stop ignoring me. I keep having to make excuses on why im going to the post office and I think moms beggining to get suspicious. Answer your phone please!

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 14 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

HOW DARE YOU TELL MOTHER WHAT I WAS DOING YOU SHITHEAD. LISTEN HERE YOU CURLY HAIRED BASTARDD, I AM GOING TO SEND YOU LETTERS ONE WAY OR ANOTHER SO STOP PLAYING GAMES AND ANSWER ME.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 15 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Im sorry for the last letter Curly, I was just really mad because mom stopped driving me to the office box. I didnt mean to call you names. Just please answer me. I dont like that youre ignoring me.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 16 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Harold, why are you doing this to me. I know I messed up but I didnt think you would take it this far. Stop ignoring me Harry, I miss you and youre making me feel like the most horrible in the person in the world. Please come back home.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 17 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Please stop doing this to me Harry. Its eating me alive.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 18 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Who knew loving someone could hurt this much.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 19 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

I heard this really nice song. It reminded me of you.

"Loving can heal. Loving can mend your soul and is the only thing that I know. I swear it will get easier."

Please come back Harry. 

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 20, 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Why did you have to tell my mom I kept calling you. She disconnected my phone line. This isnt fair Harry. Youre not being fair.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 21 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Youre actually doing this. How are you able to do this. Dont leave me alone Harry, I feel so lost without you here. It was never my intention to hurt you. Please dont leave me if you love me. Please come back to me. I love you Harry and this isnt the end. This cant just be the end. Its not the end.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 22 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

If you dont want to come back for me, then at least come back and do the right thing . I know why you rejected those calls. 

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 23 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

It was Eleanor, Harry.

That day. I saw her. I saw Eleanor. Thats why I hated you so much. But I dont really hate you. I just had an overdose of anger, I didnt know what else I could do. What I did, I know has no name. I know I did what I once shamed you for doing but please understand, I didnt know what else I could do.

You'd always put her first.

And that killed me inside.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 24 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

I regret it so much.

Especially because shes a wh0re.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

November 25 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

After months, I finnally got my court date. Its on the 1st of December. It would mean the world to me if you came. I dont want to do this alone. I cant face my dad alone. Please come.

-Louis Tomlinson 

__________________________________________

November 26 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Wow. Thats very interesting. Why didnt you tell me you were a Model for Vogue? Mom bought a magazine yesterday and brought it home. You should have seen her when she flipped the pages and saw your butterfly tattoo! It was the funniest thing ive seen, shes really pissed at you. I think you look great though. I just never thought youd be the person to be openly show your body. The whole world now knows how you look with only your underwear. I liked it better when it was only me and Eleanor though.

-Louis Tomlinson 

_________________________________________

Who the hell keeps sending you letter Styles?

I flinched as Ed snatched the letter out of my hand and tried to read it. I picked up his ink gun and aimed at him.

"Give it back or ill draw a red line down your face Sheeran!"

Ed raised his hands and I yanked the letter back, feeling disrespected with Sheerans actions. He began to laugh and I turned down the machine, sticking the letter back in my pocket.

"So Styles...who is this Lewis who keeps sending you letters? He sends you one like every day. Is it a lover boy you left back in England?"

"Its Louis and None of your damn Business Sheeran."

"Wow, calm down there Hazza. Im just curious."

"Its Harry and stop being curious then."

It made me furious that Ed couldnt respect my privacy, never in the couple of weeks that I had been here, demonstrating the same to him. I went back to the lounge and sat on the bean bag chair, not in the mood for any of his apologies or pity comments about my love life

I grabbed the remote off the coffee table and began to swtich through the channels, wanting to distract myself from the million of thouhts running through my head right now.

He wouldnt give up.

He just wouldnt give up.

No matter how many things I did to stop receiving his contact, he just wouldnt give up.

I got rid of his ride to the post office.

I canceled the credit card he was using to buy the mailing stamps and envelopes.

I cut off his phone line so he would stop calling.

What else could I do?

I couldnt back, why couldnt he understand? Im doing this for him. He told me to move on so I did. Now its his turn.

I took my attention off the tv screen as the front bell to Eds shop chimed and in came Kim, smiling down at me like the silly girl she was deep down inside.

"Hello Harry."

"Hi Kim. Here to take me to work?"

"I dont give rides to curly haired scummbags."

"And I dont ride with slvtty wh0res."

"Tuche Harry Tuche."

She winked at me and I rolled my eyes, trying to quiet my chuckles. She was great.

Just not girlfriend material great.

"Actually, I am here to take you though. We got some new designs in for American Apparels undewear line and we were thinking youd be the first one to try them out. My boss is really impressed with your shots so far."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Hmm."

I looked at the time and it read, 3:30pm. I had a meeting with the admissions officer at 5 and id doubt I would make it in time if I did agree to do the new line. Hesitantly, I shook my head at Noora and couldnt help but find her reaction to my rejection amusing.

"Why not?"

"I-I have stuff to do and I think we could change things up a bit."

"Change things how?"

"I was thinking if I could try a new type of photoshoot. Im tired of taking pictures with only briefs. How about you tell your boss if I could try headband section. I fancy wearing those. or the Leather jacket section. Either or."

Kim slowly nodded her head and held her finger up in the air, taking her cellphone out her bag and begginng to dial whoever she was dialing.

"Hold that thought, I think that might be a good idea."

__________________________________

November 27 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Would it be weird if I told you that I bought a pair of those underwear you were modeling to feel closer to you?

-Louis Tomlinson

__________________________________

November 28, 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

I got great news today! Well sorta. Mum let me apply to that ice cream shop you would take me when you were here and they accepted me! Im starting the job tomorrow, the manager said I could be the ice cream scooper. Im excited xx

-Louis Tomlinson

__________________________________

November 29 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

How could you. Its not fair Harry! Why would you convince mom to not let me keep the job! It was just simple scooping of ice cream Harry. What does it even matter to you, youre halfway across the world and you canceled the credit card. I need money Harry. I need to buy things and I cant live off of what mom is giving me. Please call her and tell her otherwise. Please let me have me work, please Harry.

-Louis Tomlinson

__________________________________

November 30 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

Im still mad at you but I just wanted to ask you if you were still coming tomorrow. I know this letter will actually get to you tomorrow but I really hope you are on your way, I dont want to go by myself.

-Louis Tomlinson

__________________________________

December 1 2010.

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Im guessing you forgot or something but yeah, today was a very long day at court. Your mom agreed to cut down my mums sentence down and shell only be in jail for 10 years. Its still very long but I know one day we will be re united. My dad has 25 years to life though. I gave him a hug before he left though because I know he was a good guy at one point. I hope one day youll learn how to forgive him.

I thought the court was going to change my last names to yours but apparently your moms last name isnt Styles. It would have been cool if we did share last names though. My full legal name now is Louis Tomlinson-Cox. It has a weird ring to it.

Also, what is going on with you and my mom? Before she was taken away, she told me to tell you to go talk to her, that she had something important to tell you. What are you two hiding?

-Louis T. C.

__________________________________

December 2, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Still not a single word from you. It hurts me more than you think.

-Louis T.C. 

__________________________________

December 3, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Went to the shop today and mom bought some birds to keep me company. Theyre actually pretty cute. There should be a picture inside of them. Dont they look cool? One is even green and the other one is Blue. It reminds me of me and you. I called them Hazza and Lou.

Hazza pecks Lou alot. I pretend its kisses sometimes although i think its just picking out its tiny fleas.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 4, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

My friends told me to tell you they hope youre having fun in America.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 5, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

I felt something so magical today. I wish you were here so you could feel it too.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 6 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Ive been having trouble sleeping lately and I know its wrong but i cant help but think of you. I think of you so much it hurts. Its been a month Harry. A month since you left. An email would have been nice or at least a minute on the phone. I dont even remember what your voice sounds like and the only images of you I have left are those on my phone. Mum doesnt let me buy your magazines anymore but at least the last one I bought youre no longer in only your undewear. Pls talk to me.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 7, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Zayn proposed to Liam today, he called me from their trip to Vienna. I was shocked but I know those two love each other so much. And im surprised ditched School for a week for it. Hes been loosening up since hes been with Zayn. Little badboys those two.

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 8 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

I miss your fingers. Oops

-Louis T.C.

 

__________________________________

December 9 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Im so happy right now, William gave me a car! Harry, he bought me a car! its an really pretty one too. I dont know what type it is because I dont know much about cars but its black and the insides are made of leather and Its just so comfortable to be in. Its not a race car though, its like a safe vehicle. Edwards going to start teaching me how to drive after the baby comes. Its going to be so cool. Im so happy.

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 10, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Nice try Harry but the car has already been bought and William cant return it.

Im keeping it.

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 11, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

HOLD ON, you do read my letters so what does it cost you to reply to at least one of them! STOP BEING SO INMATURE HARRY, PLEASE. IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE. Ive suffered enough.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 12, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Birdie Lou died.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 13, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Birdie Haz died too.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 14, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Its all my fault, I dont know how to take care of animals. I should have payed attention to them more. Im such a bad person. Im just not cut out for it. I dont know what to do. Maybe i should have listened to you from the start. I cant do this by myself. I dont know what to do Harry. Help.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 15, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Im secretly hoping you didnt get the last letter, it made no sense. Sorry.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 16, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Im thinking of getting a tattoo a little after I turn 15. I have the perfect idea of what to put. Well I dont have exactly have it figured out but I know at least the main idea and I known someone already. Im exicted.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 17, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

You Big Snitch. I hate you. t(-_-)t

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

"What are you laughing on about Styles?"

"Nothing man."

I chuckled as i reread over Louis six words and small drawing next to the text, my stupid little brother not realizing what a big mistake it was telling me what went on in his life. I did find some enjoyment out of making sure he didnt grow up too fast although I was not pleased with the whole car situation with William.

Those two were just asking to get their arse kicked.

"Okay then, come on lay down on the bed so I can get started."

"You better not mess it up Ed."

"Wouldnt think of it Harry."

I glared at Sheeran but received nothing but a grin, the orange haired lad picking up the amazingly designed sketches Lexi had made for my new tattoo.

"I dont undestand why you dont leave the birds their orginal color. Are you sure you dont want the swallows the color they are?

"No Ed, How stupid would it look to have a green and blue bird on my chest. Just black ink. But one of the birds smaller than the other. The sketch is perfect the way Lexi did it. Do it like that."

"Okay Okay, Calm down mate. Okay I will. And this?"

"Put the birds a little bit higher so you can put that tattoo right above the left side of my chest."

"You mean your hea-"

"Sheeran, why do I have to explain this to you, Just follow the sketch. The birds on the top, and the other tattoo right below it."

"Chill mate."

Ed Wiggled his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes at him, taking my shirt off and throwing it aside.

"Im happy youre adding more ink to your skin. It was about time you get something else besides that butterfly on your stomach."

"Yeah Yea, whatever."

****

"I did such a fine job Harry. Youre going to be impressed when you take the bandages off."

"I hope so, this burn better be worth it because my chest hurts like shit!"

"All in a days work Harry."

__________________________________

December 18, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

I dont really hate you. I love you Harry. I love you from here to the moon. Ill always love you.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 19, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Will you be coming home soon? Its winter Harry, Its so cold here. I wish you would cuddle me to sleep. Mr.Cuddles isnt as warm as you.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 20, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Your mom sold the house on the beach back to the company because she couldnt afford to pay it. I thought you earned enough money to live the luxury life, was it really that hard to give her some money to pay it off? That house meaned so much to her Harry, All the family reunions were held there. Shes upset and she refuses to accept any of your aunts help to pay it off. I know she listens to you Harry, please send her something so she can buy it back. Please Harry, that house means so much to her.

And it means alot to me, too.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 21, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Thank you.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 22, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

Please tell me youre coming.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 23, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

I miss you so much Hazza. So much.

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 24/25, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

I had a very nice birthday and Christhmas day. We all gathered at your Aunt Merediths house for a nice christmas dinner and we stayed up all night and Santa even came! (Not really, William dressed up as Santa for the kids but it was fun seeing them get so excited for him. Lilly cried though so he had to leave.)

Im Finnaly 15 and In honest truth, I expected to feel a little different, you know, like experience some type of feeling that was like...tada! your 15 but no. Haha I know, im stupid. I got some really cool things but really, all i wished for was a word from you. I reallly miss you.

I attached a picture of all of us inside the envelope. Hope its still there.

Have a Merry Christmas Haz xxx.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

I put the letter aisde and stared at the photograpth of my family around Louis while he sat at the table with a birthday cake in front of him.

I couldnt believe I had forgot his birthday.

I let the tears fall as I stared at my little brother a little longer, seeing the drastic change that had taken over the past 2 months without seeing him. Those hands that rested on either side of his cake were very thin, too thin to describe as healthy. His big, squeezable cheeks had vanished, leaving behind only the sight of his sharp cheekbones and jaw.

His undereye bags were visible but all I could manage to pay attention to were those sad, blue eyes that werent blue anymore. Those cracked and violet colored lips had replaced his beautiful pink ones, the life once in him literally sucked out of him in the blink of an eye

He was tired.

My poor baby boy. 

I looked around the picture and noticed William and Edward were on either side of him with a huge smile on their faces, my mom next to Edward and aunt meredith and the other side of Edward. Aunt Lucy, Margaret, Elizabeth, Jane, Vanessa, Johannah, Loren, Hannah, Kayla, and Ashley were on the right side of him. All my uncles were on the left, and my cousins sat obediently, surpringsily, criss crossed in front of the table in rows. My father was absent so i quickly figured out who was the one behind the camera.

All 57 of them stood there with stupid smiles on their faces and didnt even bother to notice that Louis smile was the fakest it had ever been. Everyones smile reach their eyes but Louis was faltered, not even reaching the middle of his nose. There was no crinkles. There was nothing. 

The sight of him made me want to hurl, the reminder that he only had less than 2 months on this earth making me sick to my stomach. I put the picture aside and went into the shower room, trying to drain my thoughts out of my body.

The Shower hose and I had a contest to see who could make more water drops in the end.

****************

__________________________________

December 26, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Mom gave me your birthday message Harry. Thank you x.

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 27, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

I was wondering, is it cold in L.A. right now?

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 28, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

"Im a mess right now, inside out. searching for a sweet surrender but this is not the end. I cant work it out, how going through the motions going through us. and oh ive known it for the longest time and all of my hopes and all of my words are written on the signs but youre my road walking me home. See the flame inside my eyes, it burns so bright I wanna feel your love, Easy baby maybe Im a liar but for tonight, I wanna fall in love. Put your faith in my stomach."

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 29, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Sorry for the last lettter, Just reminded me of us. And I had nothing better to do at 3 in the morning. Miss you.

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 30, 2010

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Somethings going to happen soon, I can feel it. I can feel it.

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

December 31, 2010/ Janurary 1, 2011

Dear Harry Styles,

I hope you enjoyed your New Years in America and if you didnt enjoy it at Times Square in New York, boo you! Ive made some New Years Resolutions although i think theyre pretty useless since I I probably wont be able to keep them for long haha. Do you have any Harry?

I miss you so much Harry, you have no idea. Please come visit before you leave to Uni.

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

January 2, 2011

Dear Harry Styles,

 

Guess whos looking forward to this weekend? Me! Hope theyre ready, an angel will be coming their way!

 

-Louis T.C.

__________________________________

January 3, 2011

Dear Harry Styles,

I dont understand why we have to school so early. What a dreadful Monday!

-Louis T.C.

_______________________________

January 4, 2011

Dear Harry Styles,

I do not know what else do you want me to for forgiveness. I have suffered 60 days without you and I do know how longer I can take it. Did you stop loving me? Did you really mean all those words you said at the Hospital that day? I never meant to annoy you in the first place but I couldnt help it, I was very tired and I am still tired, although now the pain I feel in my heart aches more than the one on the soles of my feet. I wish you could come and say one last goodbye to me before you decide to not ever come back. If its not too much ask, please come give me one last hug goodbye. If its too much to ask, just ring me and I'll be grateful enough to hear your voice one last time. I never really felt any closure with you because what we had wasnt anything that was easy to forget. I had said a million goodbyes but I never really meant them and I know you know that too. I just need you anyway you want one last time. 

Ill never regret any single moment with you because youve taught me things Id probably never gotten a chance to if you didnt allow it. You have given me something Beautiful Harry and I can not thank you enough for everything you have given me. Your love was the most extraordinary gift in the world and although it was cut short, Ill never ever regret it. 

Hopefully one day youll open your eyes and realize that you are one of the best things that has happened to me in my 15 years of life. I Love You Harry Styles. Forever and Always.

P.S. Besides me, your mother misses you too. come back pls.

-Louis T.C.

_______________________________

January 5, 2011

Dear Harry Styles,

Mom tried to make this new dish called steak.

Worst. Meal. Ive. Ever. Ate. In. My. Life

Dont tell her I said that.

-Louis T.C.

_______________________________

January 6, 2011

Dear Harry Styles,

Oh, you are a cruel cruel man Harry. 

-Louis T.C.

______________________________

 

I walked back from the studio to my apartment with Ed by my side spitting out some sick beats. If only Louis knew who had sang that song he had sent me in the letter was my best mate, who had recently gotten a record deal and signed to Colombia Records.

He was inmensely good and anyone could be a witness to that.

"Why are we going to your complex first again?"

"I need my cellphone charger duh."

"Really Harry?"

"Of course, My phone is on 60%."

Ed rolled his eyes and began to laugh although I saw no amusing thing in our conversation.

"Ill take that as a translation to "I want to pick up my lover boys letter in the mail."

"Hes not my lover Ed."

"I want your fingers, says otherwise."

I gasped as Ed began to run away from me, knowing very well this meant it was time for his death.

"You read my letters?!"

"You left that one out in your restroom Harry. Not my fault you get off to letters that contain dirty messages."

I glared at Ed as he began to quicken up his pace and ran after the rude lad, really having the urge to smash his face in. Without a key, Ed was cornered in my apartments doorway, where i took advanatage and began to punch him in the back, not believing he had been through my shit.

He laughed as I tried to tackle him down before he screamed.

"Punch me one more time Styles and I will Yank your nose ring out!"

I backed away, my breath unsteady and decided to let it go, the pain of it being put in enough to deal with it. I gave him the finger as he began to laugh and headed towards my mailbox, where nothing was inside.

"What the fuc-"

"What is it?"

"Theres no letter."

I stared at the mailbox again and decided, there must have been a mistake at the post office. It was a Fridayy afternoon, normal service days and only a Saturday morning at Chesire which meant Louis had enough time send a letter because post offices were open until 7.

"Mate?"

"Theres something wrong, Ed. He always sends a letter."

"Maybe he forgot?"

"NO, he cant forget. He didnt forget on holidays, how could he forget this normal day."

"I dont know, maybe he didnt have enough time."

"No ed, he makes time for me. Somethings wrong."

"Harry calm down."

"No. No."

I stuck the key in my lock and slammed my door wide open, heading straight to my living room cabinet where I kept all Louis letters. 

"Harry, what are you doing?"

I rummaged through the drawer until I took January's letters out, only 6 letters in total, although one stood out more than the others.

"Look Ed. January 4th. Doesnt this seem like a goodbye letter. What if this was a goodbye letter?."

I passed Ed the letter and began to pace around the room, trying to find a reasonable explanation on why I had not received a letter today. Ed had the letter in his hands and I felt the goosebumps rise on my skin as I heard him gasp.

"This Louis boy is 15? Harry, whats wrong with you?! Youve been ignoring all his letters hes sent you? well no wonder he stopped! Thats such a dickhead move!"

"No Ed, You dont understand. Louis will write to me no matter what. Even if its something as simple as telling me, he hates me. Hell write it and send it."

"well you dont deserve it, thats for sure!"

"You dont get it Ed, h-hes sick. W-What if he died........Oh my gosh Sheera_"

"Mail for Styles!"

I turned as a man peeked a head into my living room with envelopes in his hand.

Oh god, hes late!

"YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK RICHARD!"

"Im sorry Mr. Styles. Had to take a bathroom break. That burrito...defintely not good."

I approached the old man in my doorway and snatched the envelopes in his hand, searching for Louis ridiculous camel with two giraffe heads stamp he always pasted on the top.

"Well, is his letter there?"

Ed speaked behind me and I couldnt help but feel crushed inside as I was forced to turn around and shake my head

"No."


	11. Chapter 11

"After You My Lovely Angel"

"After You My Lovely Devil."

As he bows, he presses a kisses to my knuckles and I'm infatuated. Swept off my feet is how I feel, the mask obscuring those facial characteristics that will bring me down from the land of my imagination.

His eyes are Blue.

His blue eyes peek out from each hole drilled into the mask I must say I'm impressed with how it came out done. My eyes trail down his body and a red dress hugs the handles his torso holds, a little too short at the bottom but fitting his legs rather exquisitely.

"Nice shaved legs you have there."

"I'd say the same but you decided to come as Saint Mary."

"Im an Angel.", I insist and he covers his mouth as he lets outs a combination of snorts and chuckles, whispering in my ear 'That's not what I mean by sexy crossdressing attire' before I wave him off.

He grabs me by my side as best as he can and leads me into the cafeteria, where stars hang down from the ceiling along with Crystal lights above.

Its January

and it's time for the Winter formal Dance, Niall Style.

We walk in and gape at the amazing turn out, once long haired blondes ladies now wear their hair proudly up in a slicked back ponytail that are accompanied by a suit. There's Fedoras on their top of their heads while they try their best to not be embarrassed about their boots.

The once tough men are now wearing gowns down to their feet, some going to the extreme of wearing wigs or makeup, while others have little bows in their hair.

"Wow Ni. I can't believe you pulled this off."

I turn and smile at him with so much love in my heart, not realizing he would go to this extent for me.

He risked himself for me.

"Once you go Horan, there ain't no going back."

"That's not what I mean Ni. I can't believe people actually listened to the fliers you handed out. I can't wait to see what the principal will have to say about this."

"I'll be outta here by then ye hear me! Niall was never here!"

"They'll probably blame the seniors. you know. senior prank and what not."

"I hope so."

Niall looks a little tense when we proceed Inside but I know the worried feeling begins to go away when I see his mouth began to quirk up in a smile filled with amusement.

"Nicks wearing a fvcking thong. I can see it through his dress. jesus!"

He points but I look away, not wanting to see the disgrace those poor under garments are probably experiencing right now.

"Mnot looking Ni!"

"good because I think I need to go get eye surgery now."

I try my best not to look and feel a pair of dark eyes land on me from across the room. A figure in a suit is staring at me from the edge of the stage, and I can tell its no girl by the way no ponytail sticks out from either side of her head. 

I try to make out from a distance who it is but Im unable to see, the black masks they were given out at the front door obscuring any possible facial features.  
I turn away from the figure and see Niall has sparked up another conversation with one of our peers, although I know its rude, pulling on his arm away from Nydia.

"Ni. Ni. not everyone cross dressed. theres a boy across the room with a suit."

"where?"

I turn back around and there's no figure standing at the stage, the space now hauled up with a whole bunch of Man ladies probably gossiping about the winter king.

"Where?"

"I-I dunno, I just seen him. He was right there."

"Hello Louis."

I squeal as a deep voice sounds behind me and Niall, and im suddenly clinging onto Niall for dear life, the sound of giggles following the voice.

We turn and see the man in the mask, now revealing himself and making me grow in annoyance. He peeks out through his black bejeweled piece before slipping it back on and hiding himself once again.

"Liam! for freaks sake!"

"What? Im sorry I didn't crossdress. I-I just. im not comfortable enough to do it. sorry lou."

"That's not what im mad for, you scared the noodles out of me! dont sneak up on me like that!"

I clutch at my chest, and Liam shoots me a smile, taking me into his arms and my body gladly accepting the gesture.

I rest my head on his chest and a slow song proceeds, the feeling of Liam wrapping his arms around the curves of my back a little soothing 

"Are you okay Louis?"

"Yes Li."

"I didn't mean to scare you. wont do it again, I promise."

"Its fine Li. Just a little startled."

I close my eyes and let Liam do the movements, letting myself get swung from left to right until the music decides ive had enough.

Although we were a little iffy at first, Liam and I have grown to become really good friends, even if I snap at him more than necessary. All my threats he responds with smiles, my punches with hugs, and insults with compliments. 

It's irritating, being mad at Liam is equally painful as trying to be mad at a puppy. and also impossible.

But it makes him who he is. And I can confirm Zayn has gotten one of the best fiancees in the world.

As I inhale his scent, I begin to notice the sweaty and salty smell and pull away, looking him straight in the eyes. He blinks and his masks reveals the goofy grin as I scrunch up my nose.

"Oh you dirty boy. dont tell me you d-"

"Im sorry, I thought I could cover up the smell."

I gag and the sound of his laugh echoes through my ears gracefully.

"He couldn't wait till after the dance?!"

"Z said I look too good in a suit to wait."

"Well then I wonder if he'll be stable enough to not ravish you when you're walking down the isle. So......How'd you take it? from the front or the behind?"

Liam gasps but I cant help but shrug, unmoved.

im just curious.

"Louis, you cant just ask that!"

"I've danced with your freshly fucked self. I can."

Liam pulls away and begins to laugh, while I begin to get the hourly burn in my throat. I bring my hand up to relieve it and Liam stops, rubbing my back while he begins to move away.

"Ill tell you when I come back from getting you a drink."

Liam raises both of his hands and tells me to stay where we are, although I dont see the point. Mostly everyone in the room is wearing colorful dresses or black suits, and now I begin to understand what Niall had said about looking like St Mary. 

The dizzyness occurs once more, and I grasp at my forehead, feeling relieved when Liam comes back and places a hand on my back, handing me the cup with the fruit punch.

I take the liquid and pour it down my throat, the dryness going away and the itch fading. I crave it some more but I wont tell liam to go back for it, not wanting to push my privileges.

"So, tell me, do you like it better when its from the front or the back. If its up to me, I'd say front. love it from the front."

"Excuse me, who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"

As I take my attention away from my empty fruit punch cup, the hairs on my body rise with the sight of green eyes now peeking out through the holes of the mask.

The cup falls from my hand and I back away, my breath becoming unsteady as the man takes off his mask and reveals a frightening image to see.

"H-Harry?"

"Who else would it fucking be. who the fuck were you talking to and why the fuck were you offering sex positions. what the fuck Louis? Why the hell are you here?!"

His face. The nose rings. The lip ring.

I dont understand.

I can't process this.

After months he's finally back.

"I asked you a fucking question, im expecting you to answer it back. Why the hell are you here?!"

I want to answer but no words come out, which ends up hurting me as I feel his rough hand grip my wrist. He's using only two fingers when I look down, and ink is peeking out from the suit as he pulls me away.

Tattoos.

I look back up and he's angry, walking out with me yanked rather quickly out the room. And then I remember.

"S-Slow down p-please. Please Harry, it hurts."

He stops when we get to the exit and in a swift movement, im being lifted off of my feet.

Oh no.

"Harry, put me down!"

"Oh my fuc-The hell is this dress made of? Cement? Why the hell are you wearing a dress, why are guys wearing dresses, and the girls, the suits, the hell is going on?!"

Im afraid.

I can fall any minute now.

This can become a mess.

"Harry, put me down! You're going to drop me!"

I look over my shoulder and I realize, im off the ground pretty high.

My goodness, hes gotten taller. I turn towards where im being held up and his chest is bigger, biceps swole and his whole upper body broader 

Who is this.

Where's Harry?

I meet Harry's emeralds and he rolls his eyes, not letting me go as he carries me bridal style down the hallways.

Im afraid.

I wrap my arms around his neck and intent to pull myself up, knowing there's no other option. 

I can feel it 

I can feel it coming.

And I let it go,

I let go of the tears that my whole inside has been keeping inside.

"You shouldn't be here. You're sick!"

He screams and kicks the door open to exit the building while I shiver at the tone of his voice. Hes angry. and I dont know what for.

"Look at yourself, you're a mess!"

He puts me down on the gravel and swings the door open to a Gray, volvo vehicle,with a big rent sign on the dashboard.

"You're face, what the hell Louis, do you not eat? I can see your damn bones!"

He grasps at my arm and I whimper louder, feeling so many different emotions running through my body as he looks at me in disgust.

"Look at this shit! You're dying and you're out here trying to party! look at your arm Louis, look at it! im not sure if thats your skin or if you just painted your bone!"

I yank my arm away from him and cry louder, he thinks im disgusting. But it's not my fault. It's not my fault. It's his fault.

Because of him, I'm this way.

"Leave Harry."

"Leave? Leave? You want me to leave? Are you sure about that because last time you said that, I had over 60 pathetic letters sent to my apartment!"

Im pathetic.

That's what he thinks.

That's what he didn't write in his reply letter.

But he's wrong.

"I-I just needed my closure H-Harry. And I just got it. Now you can go!"

"No No No, you're not getting off that easy.,"

"Is this what you're here for Harry? To bash on me!"

"Im here because you freaked me out when you didn't send your letter. And then I fly halfway across the world to come to a stupid arse party and find you dancing with other guys offering sex. Are you really trying to call what im doing bashing? Its not bashing Louis. im trying to make you see how stupid you're acting."

He came because I forgot to send the letter 

He came because I forgot to send the letter 

One letter. 

A stupid arse letter 

One.

"Are you serious right now."

"Does it look like im joking?!"

I can feel it.

I can feel it coming.

And I let it go,

my small giggles erupting from my mouth louder than they should be.

"Do you think this is funny?!"

No.

I snort outloud and I cant help it, I really cant.

A letter.

I could have forgot to send a letter sooner and I could have experienced this a little earlier.

One letter.

"This is not a damn joke to me Louis, you're supposed to be dead!"

I stop laughing and I can feel it again.

I feel it coming.

Im angry.

I stare at him in dead silence and process his words, realizing he only came back because he expected me in a coffin all dressed up in my death suit.

He's only came to see me because he thought I would be leaving this world.

"I-Is that why you came? because you thought I was dead?"

"Why else would I come?!"

The words are daggers to my chest, but I've gotten used to them, Harry still leaving his previous ones behind. They all bled out already.

I laugh in his face again, to show him I can be tough, and I can be tough against him, although im feeling deep down inside the need to just fade away.

"Silly you then." I point at him and begin to giggle Louder.

"Louis Tomlinson has been dead for months now."

Im satisfied with the horrific look on his face, that painful expression i have been living for what seem ages because of him.

Im right though.

Im not the same Louis.

"w-what?"

"Ive changed Harry. And if you've only came to express fake sorrow at my funeral, you're a bit too early. So Just Go. Just go Harry, I just needed a last word with you."

I turn around and begin to walk towards the building, when I suddenly feel something pulling me back. I turn to punch him but im suddenly being carried again.

"Put me down!"

"To hell i will."

He throws me into the back seat and I begin to cry, feeling the effect it has on my stomach

. Ive landed on my back and its killing me. Its killing me inside.

He slams the door closed and I can't help but scream, feeling a sting shoot right up my torso and neck and scream Louder but he doesn't seem to hear.

"H-Harry."

I try and call him but he's covering his ears while he leans on the car door window, shaking his head because of his mistakes he'll regret someday. But thats not my problem.

"H-Harrry please!!!!!"

I try and kick the door but my body is becoming paralyzed, its getting hard to move. The pain is killing me, the pain is unbearable. I cant. I can't.

"HARRRYYYYYY!!!!!!"

I scream louder but he keeps plugging his ears, and I realize,he won't help.

"oh fuckz oh no. oh no. oh AHHHGGG"

I clutch to my stomach and scream again, the sting once again burning my whole body alive. I see Harry and he still has his back towards me covering his ears.

Why is this happening?!

I let my trembling hands run down my torso and pick up my dress, to where I can pull out my phone thats on my knee socks. 

I can't do this any longer.

"AHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE."

My hands are shaking, my body, my skin.

My fingers make it to speed diall and I scream once I realize the line has been connected.

"Lou? Lou where are you?! Lou whats wrong?"

"N-Ni. Ni-AHHHHHHHH. H--Harry. P-Parking lot. AHHH. CAR. CAR. AHH HELP. HELP"

My grip loosens and the phone slips to the floor.

Im doomed.

Its getting harder to breathe now.

I can feel my heart aching to pound out my chest.

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

I try to scream, but only a whisper comes out and Harry's no longer covering his ears, but I cant scream.

It hurts.

It hurts.

I hear commotion outside the car and I suddenly see Nialls face peeking through the window. His eyes widened and I can see the color of his face disappear.

He opens the door quickly and mumbles a string full of curses before there's more yelling in the background including Liams screaming.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!"

"NOTHING! GET OUT OF MY DAMN CAR!"

"LIAM HE'S BLEEDING!!!"

Im what?

"He's what?"

Niall rips my dress open, leaving me in my boxers only and Harry pulls up behind him, jaw dropping at what ive been hiding all along.

I feel the color drain out of my face as Niall raises up his hand, dripping with blood.

My heart stops.

"M-My b-baby"

"Holy sh-"

"NOT MY BABY. PLEASE. NOT MY BABY!"

"L-Louis p-pregna-."

"GET OUT THE WAY HARRY!!!"

"Not my baby, not my baby. Not my baby, No No No."

My poor baby.


	12. Chapter 12

The screams are ringing through my ears, high pitched, deafening, and full of terror. 

Sweat rolls down his skin at a repeating pace while he scratches down the leather seats of my car.

He's crying, he's shaking, and Niall cant calm him down. I cant calm him down. I have no knowledge of whats going besides the fact that Louis has his stomach the size of watermelon and screeching for his baby. 'My baby' he keeps chanting and I don't know what to make out of it.

It can't be.

Men can't get pregnant.

Boys can't get pregnant.

Louis can't get pregnant.

he's not pregnant.

He is.

Im terrified, I have no idea what's going on, no clue on what to do in this situation, never realizing the day would come I would have to face taking louis to the hospital because I hurt his baby.

I hurt his baby.

It was me.

I turn back around and try to tune out Louis in the passenger seat, covering my ears so I cant hear the pain hes in. My hands are shaking, my body is quivering, and Liams driving my car. I can't process anything, I dont know what to do. Why has it come this.

The big Red Cross Hospital Sign comes in view and I see my mother already waiting outside with two men and a bed in the Emergency room section.

Liams parked and I get off the car quickly, though I dont know what to do but grieve at the sight of the men trying to carry Louis while he shouts in pain.

I hurt him.

I hurt his baby.

He's placed on the bed and I watch as they try to take them away but Louis holding onto Nialls arm. He doesn't want to go. Why?

"NO. NO. I DON'T AHHH. NO PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T LET ME GO."

Louis screams but Niall pulls away, the men saying he cant go in if hes not the father of the child. Niall nods and lets go, while Louis shouts he doesn't want to do this alone.

They enter the building and it hits me, the child.

The child is mine.

Thats my child.

My mother is crying while Niall and Liam run their fingers through their hair while they walk inside at a slow pace. It hits me again.

That's my child.

"L-Louis."

I can feel the tears running down my face as I begin to run, pushing past them 3 and heading in the direction of the shouts.

That's my child.

"HARRY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!"

My mother shouts behind me but I keep running, running towards those blue eyes who lock with mine as soon as he turns his head. My baby is crying. Louis is crying. I can feel myself being drawn in as he moves his hand and tries to reach out to me the best he can.

I won't leave you alone Louis.

Not this time.

They bring the bed to a stop and suddenly, three men are blocking me from getting to Louis.

"Sir, go back and wait in the living room!"

"NO. IM GOING WITH HIM!"

"Sir, im going to have to ask you to go back!"

"IM GOING WITH HIM!"

"Harry, what are you doing?!"

My mother appears next to me and begins to pull me away, which I return by yanking my arm away from her and trying to move forward with my Louis.

"Mam, I'm going to have to ask him to leave. Only the father is allowed to proceed into the next area."

"THEN LET ME THROUGH!!"

"Harry, what' are you saying?!"

My mom questions beside me and I remember who I am, what Louis to me, what position god has put me in.

Louis pregnant.

By me.

It's wrong.

Its so wrong

The men continue on and my mother begans to pull me away, Louis cries echoing through the hallway.

What have I done.

******** 

"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"

I shout at my mom in the waiting room, furious, not believing she was capable of hiding something this big from me. People standing by are startled but I could give a flying fuck if they're standing here looking at me like im the devil.

"He told me to stay quiet"

"Why would he do that?!

"I dont know Harry, he might have his reasons."

"And never did it cross your mind you could ignore him and tell me! I have the right to know!"

"It's his child and he has the right to his privacy, Harry. If he didn't want you to know, it must have been for something."

What my mom speaks has some truth, but I dont care. Its Louis well being, and they have kept this from me since I don't know when.

"But isn't he dying?! Why would he keep it if hes going to abandon it!"

"Harry, your brother isn't dying."

"The blood tests Mum! We took him to the hospital a-and I heard he only had a few months to live, you were talking to Dr.Winston!"

"Mr.Styles, you're here!"

I turn around and on cue, Dr.Winston is approaching me and my mom with a manilla folder against his chest. I turn around and walk up to him with my mother by his side, realizing there is a bigger problem going on.

"How is he Doctor? Is Louis okay? What's going on?!"

"Yes mam, but I need  Mr.Styles to come with me."

Dr.Winston waves me towards him and I dont hesitate to follow, my mother mumbling things I can't hear as we walk away down the white path of the ER Room.

"Mr.Styles, what has taken you so long to contact me back. I have left multiple messages on your phone and sent you dozens of letters to your house."

"What? No you haven't!"

"Mr.Styles, I do not lie! Louis even gave me your new number to call you and I sent letters every week for the past couple of months."

"New number? I dont have a new number."

Dr.Winston stops in his tracks and I do the same, not understanding the meaning behind any of these mixups.

"Mr.Styles, is it true."

"Is what true?"

He takes a deep breath and looks around the hallway, before shaking his head and taking out some sheets of paper.

"Under the hospital rules, I am not allowed to release any information to your parents about your blood tests so i haven't. it's a confidentiality law. And I've been trying to contact you since I messed up in one of Louis check up tests. When trying to check Louis DNA to see if the baby would have any gene defect, I accidentally plugged in your blood results I had taken from you last year and the DNA....... i-it matched. Y-You're the father aren't you"

My DNA Tests, I have totally forgotten I took those. I stand motionless in the middle of the hallway, not knowing what should I say. That's a stupid arse question. if he has the DNA Tests to prove it already, why is he asking me.

"Yes...."

Dr.Winston eyes widened, and I can imagine what's going through his head. He's treating my brother and Im the reason why. The child is mine, Louis child is mine. I am the father. Im the father of the child. Louis pained face flashes in my eyes and I repeat to myself, I am the father.

"Let me go with Louis. I have the right to be with him and my child. you have no right to disclose this to my mother or anyone else, do you understand?"

Dr.Winston looks at me in shock, but he nods. He hands me hesitantly the manilla folder and I open it, scanning the page until I see what he's confirming to me.

#7262772728

Baby Styles-Tomlinson-Cox

Mother: Invalid

Father: Louis William Tomlinson-Cox

Father #2: Harry Edward Styles

DNA Match For both: Positive +

Expected Due date: February 19, 2011

Status: Pregnancy is at high risk and surveillance is being provided. Vitamins prescribed in Sheet X.

"Mr.Styles, are you ready to go now?"

I close the folder, and take a deep breath, not wanting to break in the middle of a busy hallway filled with nurses and patients. 

This is real. 

That child is mine.

I made a child with ....

"Im ready."

Im not.

I hand back the folder and follow behind the doctor as he unlocks a room with a blue sign, on the other side of the door revealing different equipment I have no idea what for.

I enter and he closes the door behind me, setting the folder on a table settled in the middle of the room. He begins to rummage through drawers and I stand still, looking around like then clueless idiot I am.

"As a safety precaution, im going to ask you to either take your lip and nose piercings out or you will have to put on a surgical mask. The gloves and hair cap are mandatory, but we will leave the clothes you have right now on."

I take a deep breath and nod, grabbing the mouth mask he places on the table and slipping it on. I tie my hair back with a pony tail on my wrist and place the haircap on, hiding my curls. I grab the gloves and suddenly, hes walking me out while I do my best to put them on as quickly as possible 

We're standing outside a room with red signs now, and the same man who tried to keep me away from Louis becomes alert. 

I glare at him as he begans to speak, although im pleased Dr.Winston gives him the raise of hand and tells him, its okay.

"He's the father."

He mumbles and it becomes harder and harder to process what's going on. Im not a father. I just want to make sure my Louis is okay.

He opens the door and immediately, I could hear Louis whimpers, which make the hairs on my neck rise. Its been 10 minutes now, why isn't he out of pain.

"Do not get in the surgeons or doctors way, stand in front of the monitoring machines or mess with the tools. The only thing you are to do is stand by Louis head and comfort him while we finish the process. do you understand?"

I nod my head as he places his own surgical mask on and enters the room, myself following behind and getting overwhelmed when theres people walking everywhere in the room. 

I turn towards the table and I see him, Louis laying down looking up at the ceiling crying as he clutches on to the edges of the table. They have a curtain hovering over his chest, and he has no idea he's stripped naked from his stomach down, the doctors injecting substances from all over.

"Louis!"

I approach the table and Hover over the smaller boy's head and feel on the edge of breaking into tears as he looks at me a way he's never looked at me before.

"H-Harry!"

He moves his arm and his hand lands on my shirt, tugging it down harshly. He cries louder and I remove his hand and bring it between mine, entwining our fingers together until I could feel his nails digging into my knuckles. Its painful but it compares to nothing of what he is experiencing right now.

"Its okay baby, its okay. Im here. Im here Louis. Im right here."

"W-What are they d-doing to me. what are they doing to my baby! t-they're stabbing me Harry, tell them to stop! they're going to kill my baby!"

"No no no of course not. They're Injecting you with medicine Louis. it's okay."

"IM NOT OKAY HARRY, MY SKIN IS BURNING FROM THE INSIDE. TELL THEM TO STOP. TELL THEM TO STOP."

I look over and the doctors are hitting Louis sides with hammers, and I dont know if that's okay. Louis starts to shake and the doctors grab more needles injecting Louis stomach.

"I FEEL IT. I FEEL IT. GET IT OUT. GET IT OUT.!!!!"

"I don't know I dont know, Push Louis!"

"No Mr.Styles, Louis not ready to give birth!"

"Never mind Louis, dont push!"

"I CAN HEAR HIM YOU FUCKING TWAT DONT SCREAM AT ME!"

"Im not screaming Louis."

"IM GOING TO RIP YOUR HEAD OFF WHEN WE GET OUT OF HERE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH HARRY. YOU DID THIS TO ME. OH MY GOSH, IM GOING TO DIE. GET IT OUT!!!!"

Louis sweating and he's got a hold of my other hand now, his little fingers scratching down both my arms as he screams. I bite my lip and take it, leaving both my arms placed on either side of Louis so he can release his pain all he wants, and he does.

Im hovering over him and looking straight into his beautiful eyes while tears stream down his face. I can't take the sight, and lean down, beginning to pepper kisses all over his face through my surgical mask.

"You're doing so well Louis, youre doing so well. you're going to be okay. you'll be okay. I love you so much baby, so much."

He lets go of one of my arms and I wipe the sweat off his face, pushing his fringe back so he could see me although I probably look upside down to him.

He shakes his head before he screams again, from the top of my eye seeing the doctor stick in a huge needle in the middle of his stomach.

"S-Save my b-baby Harry. N-Not me. Please."

"You're not going anywhere Louis."

"Save my baby Harry, please."

"You're not going to die, Louis, you'll be okay."

I know im crying now because a single tear drop accidently lands on one of Louis cheeks. I wipe it away but he fails to notice, looking past me and into the ceiling.

"Louis? Louis?"

He doesn't respond and I begin to grow anxious, not knowing wether this is supposed to be happening or not. I.could hear the heart monitor going off in the distance, but My attention is my brother in front of me right now.

"Save my baby. S-Save your baby."

Louis closes his eyes and they dont open anymore, making my heart race and my breath unsteady within seconds.

"Doctor, W-whats happening to Louis?"

"Im going to have to ask you to step out now sir."

"Winston, what the fuck is going on?!"

"Gentlemen, can you please escort Mr.Styles out."

The men come back and im suddenly being pulled away from Louis, who lays motionless on the table.

"No no no no no, this can't be happening No! NO!"

I try to fight with the men but they tackle me down to the floor as I try to pick up a defibrillator that will shock Louis back to life. 

"LET ME GO!!! LET ME GO. M-MY LOUIS. MY BABY. MY LOUIS. HE CAN'T DIE. I HAVE TO HELP. LET ME GO!!!"

I take one of the medical assistants by the hand and throw him over my shoulder, not tolerating it any longer. This rush within me is chanting LouisLouisLouisLouis and Thats all i think about as I throw the second one to the wall. 

There's a slam and I turn back to realize they've locked the door shut to the room. I bang and I bang, but they close the curtains, completely separating me from what my world once was.

"LET ME IN. THAT'S MY LOUIS IN THERE. THAT'S MY LOUIS. MY BABY CAN'T DIE. NOT LOUIS. HE CAN'T. LET ME IN. LET ME IN PLEASE. PLEASE!!!"

I bang on the door but im tackled down once again, although this time I dont have the same force. Four men are on me now and are escorting me down the hallway while I resist to move forward.

I throw myself to the floor and try to crawl back, but im surrounded.

"I-I give up. I give up."

I raise my hands and lay on the floor while I begin to break down, all the men retreating back from the man who killed his lover and his child.

********  
I feel numb inside, dull, cold, dark, regretful, and guilty. I feel angry, disappointed, shocked, sorrowful, and hurt. 

I feel dead without him.

I feel my life isn't worth living without his presence.

It's him, it's always been him, no matter how many universal, legal, and moral laws I'm breaking.

My world surrounds him no matter how hard I try deattach him from my life.

It's him.

I stare In silence at the white wall in front of me, who probably guards others secret but none as horrible as mine. I don't even care if the cameras in the corner of the room are staring down at me as I let the tears stroll down my face pathetically.

It's him.

I need him.

The doctor makes his way into the large, spacious room and he greets me with a sigh, knowing well how I acted would have consequences on his behalf.

He sits down in the chair in front of me and pats me on the shoulder, taking a small breath he thought wasnt audible, but was loud and clear to me.

"Im sorry we had to take you the room that way, we didn't have time to explain in full detail what was going on. Louis wasn't ready to Give birth so we had to put his body and him to sleep. He's okay now Harry, don't worry. If he would have gave birth today, the baby could have multiple amounts of defects, one being born premature."

I nod and remain in silence, feeling a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. On cue, the door is once again opening and other medical personnel are rolling in the bed with Louis laying sound asleep on it, other IVs and medicine machines attached to him following behind.

I watch as they plug in the cords into the walls and settle his bed right in front of the TV, additional staff coming and in bringing even more machines to place in our temporary hospital room.

"Harry, what happened today although I was not sure how it happened, was that Louis fractured his back spine, luckily not severe enough to leave him paralyzed. His body, unable to handle the weight, sent a type of signal to his brain and made it believe, the best way to Get rid of his extra weight was to go in labor, which the baby was not ready for as we both know. We did some surgery and fixed Louis fractures, his bones are once again in place and hopefully, he will be okay within a week. The needles we were injecting were drugs to put the baby to sleep as well, because it began to think it was ready to come out too, although we apologize if it seemed we were doing it a little too harsh."

I nod and bite the words aching to roll off my tongue. It was me doctor. I threw Louis carelessly into the back seat and broke his back. Im the reason why hes here, im the reason why he was screaming.

The doctor goes on and on about what's happening and what will happen in the preceding future, but I can't help but notice

"Why is his body so thin doctor? H-He has a big stomach but his arms....and legs....his face, it looks like the thing is sucking the life out of him."

"That's because it is."

It is?

"Well then what are you waiting for, take it out!"

"No no no, calm down Harry. I don't mean it literally."

"Then why the hell would you say that to me, does it look like im joking around? why the hell is my louis like that. I want answers!"

"Harry, male pregnancy isnt common. His body isn't designed like a woman's to give the child the nutrients it needs. The baby on his own is taking anything Louis is willing to give him, and as you can see, its doing a great job at it. Louis is on medication, and that's how Louis is getting the nutrients for him to live. The baby is getting all the nutrients Louis consumes, and it will continue until Louis has his child. I've recommended to Louis to eat a great amount, so there could be spare for him to feed off of too but it seems, Louis has only been eating for the baby and relying on the pills for his own. If you can get him to eat more, than you can possibly help Louis regain his previous figure. but we can't force Louis to eat, thats his responsibility."

He's like this because he hasn't been eating.

IS HE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW.

"I have to assist another patient right now, but Louis should wake any time soon. don't worry boy, hell be alright. ill come back in an hour to check on him."

The doctor pats my back and leaves, leaving me in the room alone with Louis and another nurse that's walking in with a huge, old looking tv. She smiles at me, but i dont return the gesture, not seeing anything worth smiling about in this situation.

"Are you the Mr.Styles?"

Im taken back and alarmed that she knows my last name, not remembering signing in at the reception or anything.

"Yes, do I know you?"

"No, I dont think so but I know who you are. Its glad to finally meet you."

The small, red head waves at me before plugging in the TV and pressing buttons on some type of looking keyboard.

"Okay.....who are you?"

"Im Nurse Jones, but Louis calls me Stacy. He's a friend of mine for 8 months now. Let me tell you, you are not anything I expected when he would mention his baby's dad. You look like the type that wouldnt, you know.....and your piercings and everything....they like contradict everything he's described you as."

I stay in silence while I let her words sink in, although I dont know which ones to acknowledge first 

Did she just judge me by my appearance?

or

Did she just say Louis talks about me?

I get up from my seat when I see her pick up Louis rube and exposing all of him to me at the same time.

"What are you doing?!"  
I approach the bed and bring the blanket to cover Louis private areas which shes failed to take notice of. She apologizes and I grow more uncomfortable as she begins to put some blue jellow thing on his stomach.

"What are you doing now? He just got injected in his stomach, wont that burn him."

"No Mr.Styles, I know what im doing. calm down."

"Well can you explain what the hell you're doing again because all i see you is touching Louis stomach and i dont know if he would appreciate that."

"Nonsense! If Louis was awake right now, he'd be the happiest boy in the world. This is his favorite part."

The lady stops rubbing his belly and puts a scanner looking thing on his belly while she turns on the small tv, the black and white screen now appearing and,

I know what this is .

I glance between Louis stomach and the screen and stare in awe how the figure resembles the pictures online, how the demonstrations in health class are actually not just made up.

"The thing...that's moving...t-"

"That's your baby's heart. it's doing very well, I don't think any damage has been done."

I get closer to the screen and get a better view of the small, cookie looking shape that's beating steadily on the monitor, feeling a little startled with what I'm actually looking at.

"That's......I dont..."

Me and Louis have actually created a human being. A human being is inside Louis stomach right now. The heart im seeing is the heart of the human being we've created together. Its real.

"Do you know what the gender of the baby is, or are you the same like Louis?"

"Same as in what?"

"Well Louis didn't want to know what gender the baby was until he gives birth because he claims, he'll love the baby either way. Are you the same?"

Louis said that?

I stare back at him sleeping and I can actually predict, Louis would be the one to say that, willing to risk his life for the baby he's carried for 8 months now.

"Mr.Styles, would you like to know the gender of your baby?"

I turn away from Louis and hesitantly nod, not knowing what to make out of the situation.

"Dont tell Louis I told you, but, Congratulations Mr.Styles. You and Louis will be daddies to a bouncing baby boy!"

I stare in awe at Louis stomach, and can't help the tears that run down my face as I place my hands on Louis jelly covered belly, who I just learned,

contains my son.


	13. Chapter 13

The world is dark in front of me, hell crawling up my legs and settling itself around my waist. The morphine and antibiotics are wearing off, leaving my back exposed to the pain my back contains.

I touch my abdomen and realize my baby is still in me, the bump on my stomach still huge, round and hard.

My baby is fine.

I can still protect my baby.

Not afraid anymore, I open my eyes and blink at the sea of green in front of me, his breathing very audible and the warmness hitting my chin. 

His face is less than centimeters away from me, and my skin begins to burn feeling the strong connection between us. He's looking into my soul as he just stares into my eyes and doesn't look away. I try to do the same but im not sure if its the same Harry anymore.

We're completely silent and its eating my alive, not knowing what he's thinking of me or this situation. I let my gaze drop as I tried to calm my unsteady breathing that's approaching with cries. I see as his lips part and out of the blue, they're crushing into mine.

He's kissing me.

I feel shivers run down me as he brings his cool hands and caress my exposed skin, tugging at the small hairs behind my neck delicately. He takes the other hand and cups my cheek while he swipes his tongue over my bottom lip and I surrender.

I part my lips and feel the electricity in my veins when he shoves his tongue inside of me, beginning to explore the walls of my mouth. He caresses my tongue with his and I feel him pressing me lower onto the mattress while he's standing up and leaning over the side of bed.

I missed his taste.

I missed his scent.

I missed him.

I missed all of him

His elbows are rested now on each side of my head and I take advantage that his hands are off me to wrap my arms around his neck and pull him lower towards me since I cant sit up. I tangle my fingers in his hair and tug, knowing its his favorite thing in the world. On cue, he moans into my mouth, the sound waves vibrating into me and hitting all of my insides.

He moves his mouth away from mine and lowers his head down until I have face full of curls . He buries his face in the crook of my neck and begans to leave sloppy kisses from my exposed collarbones up to my ear. I can't help but feel the butterflies erupt inside of me as he licks a fat stripe from the bottom of my neck up to my chin. 

What a dog, leaving his saliva all over me like he owns me.

I feel his teeth begin to sink into my skin and now its my turn to become a mess, my sounds coming out more choked that I want them to be. He's biting me all over, my neck, behind my ears, my collarbones and my shoulders. Running my hands up and down his back isn't help me relieve the overload of feelings i have inside. 

I buckle my knees together when I feel my toes begin to curl, his actions triggering the pleasure sensation in my body.

I hear someone clear their throat and immediately, Harry pulls away, the sight of his swollen lips such a hard sight not to....

My cheeks feel heated and I hate why, feeling the slimy substance begin to drip down my legs, my manparts finally getting the release they wanted. I know Harry knows because the sound almost echoed through the room and he's looking at the bottom of my robe with widened eyes. However, his black skinnies aren't the best at hiding his excitement neither, so I try and make the best out of the situation. 

I turn towards the entrance of the room and can't help but feel the color of my face drain when I noticed who's standing at the door frame.

"I-I dont.....you weren't fucking with me were you."

"I told you he was the father, do you need more proof?"

William and Edward keep glancing between me and Harry and my hearts beating out of my chest. Me and Harry....it's wrong, beyond wrong. They're going to tell Anne and we'll both be dead.

"Well....do you two have anything to say for yourselves."e.

"You can go fuck yourself Edward." 

Harry speaks but doesn't move from my side of the bed. The twins scoff and enter the room, slamming the door shut behind them in the process

"Well haven't you gotten a big mouth while away in America. You should've have left it."w.

"What do you two want?!"

"For starters, an explanation. What the hell do you think you're doing Harry?!"w.

"None of your fucking business, thats what."

"Louis is OUR business Harry. Why were you...the baby....its yours isnt it." w.

"And if it is, what? what are you going to do about it?"

"We just want answers Harry." e.

"Well im not giving you shit so get out!"

"Why? So you can go back to making out with your brother?"w.

There it is, the forbidden part of all of this. I meet Harry's stare and I could feel his disgust too, Harry suddenly taking a step away from me. I close my eyes and desperately wish I wouldn't have woke up, tired of going back and forth.

"What I do is none of YOUR business, what HE does is none of YOUR business, and the BABY is none of YOUR business either. So get out! Go take care of your own kid!"

"I dont have a kid you dumbarse." e.

I open my eyes and see Harry's confused expression, eyebrows furrowed with his lips pursed.

"Yes you do. That's why you were moving in. That's why William kicked you out."

"God, you are so stupid. Im 20 Harry, why would I ever have a child this young. That was all a setup so you wouldn't be suspicious when we started moving Louis baby furniture in his room. The only dumbarse here for making a baby so young is you. How does it feel?" e.

I entwine my hands and try to ignore the way Harry is looking at me now.

He's beyond pissed.

"Nooooooo...We went shopping for your shit. The clothes and toys and all that crap."

"No Harry, you we're shopping for your own child. Why do you think you paid for that? Its your responsibility, not mine." e.

I look away from my hands laying on my stomach to Harry and if looks could kill, I'd be buried by now.

"Are you serious Louis."

Harry's body is now turned toward me and I'm trying to avoid his eye contact by looking at my cousins, but receive no help, both pointing at him. No backup I see.

I turn away from them and nervously look at him, the way he's looking at me equally painful as what I felt earlier in the day.

"I shopped for my child and you didn't even have the nerve to tell me?! What the fuck is wrong with you"

I can't hold my tears any longer and I begin to cry, covering my face.

"I PAINTED THE DAMN ROOM FOR YOU, I HAD TO GO THROUGH YOUR.......THEY WERE PREGNANCY CRAVINGS WERE THEY. THIS SHIT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. THE DAMN MOOD SWINGS, T-THE TIREDNESS, THE HEAVY BREATHING I-IT WAS ALL THE DAMN SYMPTOMS. YOUR SWOLLEN FEET AND YOUR WEIGHT GAIN. OH MY GOD LOUIS, FUCK YOU."

I whimpered as he kicked the hospital bed an it shook the mattress a little. Edward and William said nothing and just stared, and I understood why. They had wanted this day to come since they found out themselves, thinking if I confronted Harry earlier,it would be for the best. I didn't know how to though.

"S-Stop."

"NO. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH."

"Stop I-It."

"I WENT THROUGH HELL FOR YOU. AND IN THE END, YOU PAID ME BACK BY PUSHING ME AWAY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL ME!"

"H-Harry Stop."

"NO. IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO YOU AS IT IS. FOR MONTHS LOUIS, MONTHS, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DYING. DO YOU KNOW HOW PAINFUL THAT IS. WAKING UP EVERYDAY AND HAVING TO SNEAK INTO YOUR ROOM JUST TO CHECK IF YOU'RE ALIVE. YOU DONT KNOW HOW PAINFUL IT IS TO COUNT THE DAYS DOWN AND WONDER WHAT DAY WILL BE THE DAY YOU WAKE UP AND SOMEONE'S TAKING YOUR BROTHER AWAY IN A BODY BAG. THE PARANOIA I HAD TO GO THROUGH EVERYTIME YOU LEFT THIS HOUSE AND RAN DOWNSTAIRS WITH BERLY ANY BREATH SUCKED ARSE. EVERYTIME YOU PASSED OUT TIRED ON THE COUCH, I COULDN'T HELP BUT THINK WHAT IF ONE OF THOSE TIMES, YOU WOULDN'T WAKE UP ANYMORE. YOU'RE A STUPID CHILD LOUIS. YOU'RE IMMATURE AND GOD, YOU REALLY DONT DESERVE THAT BABY. HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO RAISE A CHILD WHILE YOU'RE ONE YOURSELF. Y-You... I-I don't know what to do with you. I-I just don't know how we're going to raise our baby." 

"Our baby?"

How could He.

How could he.

Harry was now at the edge of the bed with tears running down his face, but I didn't care.

"O-Ohhhh no. This is not our baby."

"Wh-"

"This is MY baby, Harry."

I wrapped my arms around my stomach and shook my head, while his mouth quirked up into a smile.

"No it's not, it's mine too."

"YOU wanted to abort it Harry. You told me to abort it. YOU WANTED TO KILL IT."

"NO I DIDN'T. I SAID THAT ABOUT EDWARDS BABY."

"EDWARDS BABY DOESN'T EXIST."

"EXACTLY, SO WHAT I SAID IS INVALID. I NEVER TOLD YOU TO ABORT OURS. ITS MY BABY."

"NO ITS NOT, ITS MINE."

"LOUIS, IF IT WASN'T FOR ME YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE IT."

"NO. I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT TO USE A CONDOM SO I HAVE THIS BABY BECAUSE OF WHAT I DID."

"LOUIS, YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE THE CHANCE TO HAVE IT IF IT WASNT FOR MY MISTAKES WHEN I WAS A CHILD. YOU WERE BORN DEFECTIVE BECAUSE OF ME. IF I WOULD HAVE PICKED UP MY CRAYONS, MUM WOULDN'T HAVE FELL AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE REPRODUCTIVE PROBLEMS. SO TECHNICALLY, YOU HAVE IT BECAUSE OF ME."

"LISTEN TO YOURSELF HARRY. THAT'S NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT. YOU CAME SO CLOSE TO MESSING UP MINE. DOESN'T THAT TELL YOU, YOURE NOT FIT TO BE A PARENT. YOU'D BE A HORRIBLE FATHER. YOU'D KILL YOUR BABY, JUST LIKE YOUR SISTER AND BROTHER. THE BABY STOPPED BEING YOURS THAT DAY YOU WALKED OUT THE DOOR."

"Louis stop!" w.

I turned towards the twins and suddenly, Edward was rushing towards Harry, and unexpectedly, wrapping his arms around the boy. William was shaking his head at me and I didn't know what was going on. William rushed to my brothers side and tried to do the same, while Harry shook his head and tried to push them away.

Harry was shaking.

What had I done.

"L-Leave me! Both of you!"

"Harry, he doesn't mean it!" w.

"You're not a damn mind reader, just get off of me!"

"Harry, dont cry. dont cry please, he didnt mean it. he has moments like this all the time!" e.

"D-Dont act like you two aren't enjoying this, just get off of me! H-Hes right."

William and Edward grabbed a hold of Harry from either side before sitting him down in the waiting chair, eventually, my brother stopped resisting.

How could I.

I didn't know what came over me, to use his worst fears against him. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.

Harry buried his face in his lap while my cousins tried to comfort his cries, my heart beginning to crush with this sight. 

I ruined him.

This was all my fault.

I ignored my own tears, and began to pull out all the needles in my arms, until every single thing that was once connected to me was on the floor. I ignored the burn in my back and sat up straight on the bed, hissing when the sting shot through my back. 

"F-Fucck. oh my god."

It felt as if someone was repeatedly punching my lower back while I tried to get up, but I knew I deserved it. My legs and hands trembled as I slipped out of bed and landed a little too hard on the soles of my feet.

"M-mummy. ohhhh."

I placed a hand on my back as tried to stand up correctly and fix the mistakes I had done, one out of what seemed a million.

William and Edward were still comforting Harry as I began to trudge towards them, all while I bit my lip feeling the pain circulating on my back. My bones felt like they could break anytime soon, but I had to do what's right.

"H-Harry"

When I was finally in front of my brother, Edward and William gasped realizing I had gotten out of bed. My legs gave up on me and I screamed when I felt I was falling to the ground. 

Before I could hit the floor, There was suddenly a pair of two strong arms wrapping under my thighs and pulling me up. I opened my eyes and locked gaze with his beautiful green ones, now straddling Harry's lap.

"L-Lou! what were you thinking! The baby!"

"Y-You're my baby first."

I brought my hand up and wiped his tears away with my thumb, all while I pressed my forehead to his and sniffled, wrapping both of my arms around his neck and trying to steady my breathing.

"I-Im sorry. I-I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it."

"Its ok Louis."

"I-Im sorry. I didn't mean it I-I swear."

Before he could speak again, I forgot the whole world around us, where we stood, what was wrong or right, what people would think, what my family would think, and smashed my lips to his and mumbled against them,

"W-We're going to be great daddies together, I-I know we will."


	14. Chapter 14

"Stop it you!"

"I'm saying the truth though. You don't look like a whale, there's no need for me to shout Free Willy!"

"Well I feel like it."

"Well stop feeling that way. You're insulting the baby every time you do. You're.....beautiful."

Its stupid, I know, to feel the amount of fireworks going off inside me when Harry presses kisses all over my knuckles repeatedly. The way he looks into my eyes as he kisses each one and whispers a small compliment, or the way he hasn't removed his free hand off my thigh as he rubs it soothingly up and down.

He has a chair pulled up next to my bed and hasn't left my side since William and Edward went out for dinner at the hospitals cafeteria. The nurses keep coming in and out, but I don't seem to really care, having all I want in front of me. They check my monitors, inject more medicine and then leave, no word spoken more than 'are you feeling alright?' or 'any request Mr.Tomlinson'.

I deny everytime, feeling more than great he's here, he's finally here, next to me and holding my hand through every hourly check up I go through.

However, I know he doesn't feel the same way and he doesn't feel ecstatic as I do.

Nurse Walden walks out the door a little hurried and I know the reason why, turning back to Harry who's glaring towards the door with an intimidating look on his face. I roll my eyes and sigh, not helping the giggle that escapes my mouth when he looks at me unamused.

"What's so funny?"

"You. Can you stop scaring the nurses away, they're just trying to help."

"Im not scaring them away."

"Yes you are. You mean mug each one for the past 4 hours they've come in."

"Ts not my fault. You don't see the way they look at me when they come in. I mean, do I have something on my face or what the fuck are they seeing."

"Harold, I'm a Fifteen year old with a belly the size of the New Years Eve drop Ball in New York, and its not because of junk food, but a baby. Don't you think we're bound to get weird looks regardless."

"There not looking at you Louis, they're looking at me. Have they never fucking seen a guy with piercing or tattoos before. They see me and their eyes immediately widen. I've herd, 'So you're the Baby's father' with a strange look more than 5 times today. It's pissing me off."

I can't help but chuckle as Harry gets worked up over nothing, feeling some how threatened by a couple of doctors and nurses. Grabbing a hold of his arm, he voluntary extends it out until I'm cradling it on top of my stomach at ease.

"Ts a long arm you got Harry."

He doesn't respond, but I dont expect him to, taking a better interest in his inked skin. His arm is a whole canvas, from the simplest designs being drawn on to more complex pieces and I allow myself to let my finger trace over them, giggling as I remember what this arsehole did.

"What's so funny?"

"M just remembering what a horrible person you are."

I look up at Harry and flutter my eyelashes, the smile on his face showing he understands I don't mean It literally.

"M&Ms for your thoughts?"

"Don't try and bribe me with food you fool!"

I throw his arm back at him and he rolls his eyes sarcastically, still laughing as I try my best to fake irritation.

"You know what you did you big snitch."

I glance between his arm and his beautiful emeralds and It takes a while to put all the pieces together, the huge cheesy grin that proceeds showing me he doesn't regret it.

"You can't possibly be mad."

"I am to."

"What can a Fifteen year old possibly get tattooed on him at this age? What? A power ranger or something? Tattoos need to be meaningful"

"Yeah because that big skull in the middle of your forearm is sooooo meaningful. I think half of this world has at least one skull tattooed on their body. Yeah Harry, so original."

I tease him and he shakes his head, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth and tugging at it. I try not to get distracted, feeling the obligation to fight what I want at all cost.

"All of my tattoos on my body mean something to me Louis. Every single one."

"Of course they do."

"The skull.......it means .........death"

"Death? Wow. Yeah interesting choice of wording there. And why Death?"

I cross my arms over my belly and wait for an answer, watching as Harry breaks eye contact and looks at the floor. He still has his hand entwined with mine and that's all that matters.

"That's how It felt when I left Cheshire and you. I felt like I had experienced....death. My world there is different from here Louis, I felt like I died and reincarnated into another being. I experienced death crossing these same hospital doors and I'll never be able to forget that nor the pain I felt all that time before I got the chance to finally change. It probably doesn't make any sense to you but.....yeah. I basically tattooed myself on my arm. Old Harry's right here."

Harry presses on the skull and I can't help but laugh, wondering why in the world am I feeling so happy being next to such a dork.

"You totally made that up right now. Harry is still here."

I poke at his chest and he scoffs, although I dont know if he means it.

"Under these horrible clothing, piercings, and tattoos, my Harry is here. And I can't be happier."

I smile up at my curly haired lover and he rolls his eyes, taking my finger off his chest and chuckling.

"Whatever. What is is then? What was it that you wanted to get?"

"Are you gonna let me get it if I tell you?"

"Probably not."

"Then what's the point."

"There isn't one really, you need your blood to be pure just in case the baby needs it one day."

"But Harr-"

"No Buts, now what is it."

Harry smiles up at me and I curse his overwhelming charm, sighing in defeat while I lay back and stick my tongue at him.

"Well.....I was thinking maybe when the baby was born.......I could Maybe.....tattoo his or hers little footprints on me along with their name. I-I just thought it be nice."

Biting my lip, I turn towards Harry and search for any sign of disapproval on his face. What I really want is for him to smile and say hes okay with it, but it doesn't seem to happen, Harry looking at me like I have two heads. His eyebrows furrow and he rubs his forehead, before nodding and shaking his head.

"Well...that's very much unexpected but....I'll rather you not."

"But why?"

"I want your blood to stay pure. for the baby."

"Harry, I really wanted to tat-"

"I'm just looking out for whats in your and the baby's best interest. Please....just wait a while. you're fifteen, just a teenager. there's no rush."

"I don't know what world you're living in but I'm not just a teenager any more."

"How so."

"Harry, im going to be a parent. Im grown enough."

"You're still a baby in my eyes, and it's going to stay that way until I say so. Okay?"

He can't be serious.

"You can't be serious."

"Sh.Sh.Sh."

Harry stands up from his seat and presses the button on the bed so it reclines backwards. Sneaky bastard wants me to give up but I wont.

"This isn't over Harry, you know that."

"Stop trying to grow up Louis, it isn't as great as you think."

"Im not.....I just want you to know, things have changed. And I'd rather you didn't treat me like a child in situations like these."

"You're still a baby, Louis. You just need to focus on school, have the baby, and we'll figure something out along the way."

"M dropping out of school."

"No you're not."

Harry removes his finger away from the button and glares down at me like he did with the nurses, although im not as afraid as they were.

"Yes. I am."

"No. You're not. you're staying in school and you're going to graduate and you're going to go to college like you should be doing."

"The only thing I should be doing is taking care of my baby and I will do that from home."

"You can't be serious Louis, you're just in year 11. you need one more year."

"I only have a month left Harry."

Harry looks down at my stomach and rubs his head, nodding and then shaking once again.

"This isn't over okay. You're going to go back to school, no matter what strings I need to pull to keep you in there."

"I don't want to go to school any more Harry. I just want to spend time with my baby when it comes."

"You're gonna have the rest of your life to do that Louis. Can we please stop discussing this now, im not in the mood."

"Well I Am. and I want to talk about it right now."

"We'll were not going to talk about it!"

Harry snaps at me and at the same moment, the door creaks. On the other side, my mother is apologizing for interrupting and asking to come inside. Im about to deny, but Harry cuts me off.

"Go ahead, you can be with him. I-Im going out to get some fresh air."

I watch as Harry grabs his coat and approaches the exit, ignoring his mothers questions.

"H-Harry. Y-You're coming back right?"

He stops at the doorway and I can hear him sigh, which I know not if its a good sign. He turns and gives me a small nod, before walking out the room and forgetting to close the door.


	15. Chapter 15

"Shh. Shh. Shh. Louis Shh. It's fine. You're fine."

"H-Harry, I-I don't know."

"Trust me, you're fine. You want this. This is what you need."

Im holding onto the bed handles on either side of me as Harry kneels in front of me on the bed, one of his hands shoved in my face. His palm covers my mouth as he continues again, sticking one of his digits inside of me slowly.

"It's been so long. Its been so long."

He curves his finger and I bite into the flesh, feeling the sensitive area inside of me, awaken. He's hovering over me smiling wickedly, but it feels so good. so great. Its been a while since I've had anything in me but my stomach still twists in concern.

Its past four in the morning and I can't tell if I'm dreaming or not. The clock on the wall doesn't lie but Harry's appearance does. He's glowing of some sort and not rejecting me like he's used to, and im surprised there is no smell of alcohol in the air. 

We shouldn't be doing this but Harry mentioned before, why would a nurse come wake me up at four in the morning? Im gasping for air as he picks up the pace and I begin to shake my head, the heart monitor displaying the after math of playing around.

I feel my hole clench at the emptiness as Harry removes his finger, myself taking a huge breath when he removes his hand out of my face.

He doesn't give me anytime to protest and I get angry, not being able to see him for myself as my belly gets in the way. I can feel his curls tickling my inner thighs and I moan when I feel the first kitten lick.

"H-Harry N-no."

"You want me."

Harry flicks his tongue at my hole again and I claw at the sheets beside me, helpless when he's nipping on the surrounding skin. 

"H-Harry please."

Im trying to deny him access but buckling my knees will only keep him there permanently, his grips on my hips tight enough and surely enough to have bruising the next morning.

If this is even real.

"H-Harry please stop. I-Its not safe"

"We're not stopping until I say so."

I feel my toes curl in pleasure when his tongue dips all inside me, my whimpers saying the opposite of what I want.

"M gonna eat you out so good, you're going to be coming all over that pretty baby belly. gonna look so pretty Lou."

He dips his tongue in again and again and Im Loosing my ability to resist, the sweat trickling down my forehead telling me the wait is not worth it. 

"Still taste so divine Lou. Can eat you forever and ill never get enough. You're so addicting. You're my drug. Fuck, you're my drug."

I can feel his warm breath hitting my walls and I can't fight the temptation any longer.

"J-Just please. Please Harry, e-eat me. E-eat me."

"As you please."

\--------------

As I look around the room, the pit of my stomach tells me something is not right. The clock says 11am and Harry isn't in the sleeping chairs across my bed.

I let myself think back and I realize it was just a dream, all a wet dream. He hasn't came back since he left yesterday night and I feel the need to cry.

He couldn't just have left right?

He wouldn't do that to me again.

Right?

A bit of hope sparks in me when the door lock begins to waddle a bit and I expect it to be Harry, carrying a possible breakfast for meal for me and him this morning.

A breakfast meal does come in through the door.

Though its not Harry holding the bag.

"Goodmorning sweetie, how are you feeling this morning?"

Anne shuts the door behind her and I can't help but break down in tears, expecting the worst.

Of course he would leave.

Im a Fifteen year old pregnant boy.

Why would he ever want to be with me?

"Honey, are you alright? Did I make you upset?"

I cover my face and try to pull away from her as she reaches to embrace me in her motherly type of way, something I really dont need at this moment. I dont want her.

I want him.

"W-Where's Harry mum?"

"I don't know sweetheart, I thought he was spending the night with you?"

"I thought so to. B-But he's not here. Do you think he may be in the cafeteria?"

"I just came from there myself. Suppose I probably missed him."

"Probably....not."

Im sure this is not a hormonal thing but I can't help but feel the need to burn a house down, or burn his house down, leaving me twice punishment enough for my mistakes.

"Honey, don't cry. I promise I'll have a go at him when he comes back. He shouldn't have let you stay here by yourself."

"What if he doesn't come back? H-He probably thinks im a freak."

"He would never Louis. Harry's not capable of that."

"You dont know him like I do Anne."

I lay back on my bed and wrap myself under the sheets, not wanting for my mum to see me cry.  

I hate him.

I hate him.

"Honey come out under there, I brought you breakfast. you need to eat."

"No."

"Honey please. I brought you some bagels and a yummy omelette."

"M not eating."

"Louis, don't make me call the nurse."

"I'm not hungry."

"Louis."

"I DONT WANT TO EAT RIGHT NOW OKAY!"

"The fuck is your problem, can you two just SHUT. UP.!"

A deep voice comes from the other side of my blanket and my body tenses at the roughness in it. hesitantly, i peek out through a hole to see who the second person in the room is and I see nothing but my mum glancing at me startled. She places the food bag down at the edge of the mattress and slowly tilts her head to the left side of my bed.

She lets out a huge breath and proceeds to laugh, shaking her head as she begins to take her coat off.

"Thank you. sheesh."

The voice sounds through the room again and I pull the covers off my face, leaning over the bed from where the voice is coming from.

Next to base of the hospital bed, lays Harry curled up in a fetal position with his eyes shut and his ears covered. He has a frown on his face and I realize, I've woken him up.

And he's still here.

"Harold, what are you doing down there?"

He mumbles something I don't quite catch but I don't care, too ecstatic he's actually here.

"Did you sleep on the floor? Harold, there's chairs over there. And a carpet."

Wiping my tears away, I smile down at him and he blinks up, looking around the room like he's an island he's never been to before.

"Where am I?"

Probably the Lost city of Atlantis.

"You're on the floor next to my bed. We're you there all this time?"

"I don't know. I dont....even remember."

I dont remember either. 

Could everything that happened earlier be a dream or a fantasy? Harry groans as he sits up on the floor, rubbing both of his eyelids. He scratches his head and stops when he takes notices of mum, sitting in one of the waiting room chairs looking at him silently.

"What are you doing here."

"Checking in to see if Louis ate his breakfast meal the doctor recommended, which by the way, you've failed to make sure of. I should've stayed   
instead, this was a huge mistake."

"Shit. M sorry, I forgot."

"No, you didn't. You overslept and had no clue about it until now."

"Mum, it was a mistake."

"Harry, your brother has no time for mistakes and neither does his baby. If you think I'm over what you did to Louis, you're wrong. This is the last straw Harry, im staying with him tonight."

"Mum Mum, calm down. Its okay really....im not very hungry."

I try to ease the tension but it quickly backfires, Harry startling me as he stands to his feet and glares at me from the edge of the bed.

"Which reminds me, If you think I don't know what you've been up to while I was gone, you are wrong. What is this I hear you're not eating right? The doctor told you, you're supposed to eat twice as much because this....whole...thing isn't normal for guys. From here on out, im making sure you eat what you need. No complaints."

"Im making sure he eats right, Harry. You're going back to America."

"What?"

"What? No M not."

"Yes, you are. Uni starts tomorrow in America and you need to be there for freshman orientation."

"Mom, Louis is pregnant. I'm not leaving anytime soon."

"Louis being pregnant has NOTHING to do with you. You're going back."

"And what I chose to do has NOTHING with you. Im staying."

"Harry, you have a full ride to Princet0n. Princet0n Harry! I can't let you throw it away because you want to sit here and pretend to be the perfect brother to Louis."

I feel my heart sink as my mum snaps at Harry and uses his weakness against him, the fury in her eyes visible from where I am. Harry doesn't deserve to hear that from anyone, and like myself, I know Anne will regret later, the horrible feeling of seeing Harry in misery worse than the needles in my stomach. I hear him scoff and I know a war has just begun, to which im not sure who will come out victorious.

"Im not perfect but I can take care of him."

"You can't even take care of yourself Harry, look at yourself. I let you go to America and you come back looking like someone's art dummy. And those things on your face....didn't someone tell you jewelry is only for girls."

"Since when does my appearance matter to you or is even proof that I'm capable of being a big brother to someone."

"Why is Louis in the Hospital right now Harry? I didn't put him in here."

"Because you didn't tell me he was pregnant!"

"Because he didn't want you to know and I could understand why! Just....stop Harry. Please go back and forget all of this happened."

"You're comebacks are shit, mum. I'm not leaving just because you think you can rub what happened yesterday in my face. It was an accident. I didn't know he was pregnant."

"And what if he wasn't pregnant Harry. Are you telling me that's how you're capable of treating another human being. throwing them around like they're some rag dolls. Louis is not a toy, he's my son."

"And he's my brother, and I accept I was wrong. I fucked up okay, I get it, but I can't just leave. I-Im going to make it up to him."

"No."

"Mum, I'm staying."

"No, you're not. Now get out of this room and go clean up."

"Mum, Harry, please. stop fighting."

"No. I'm not leaving. I have more right to be in here than you."

 

My face pales as Harry stands in front of the bed and crosses his arms, hovering over mum.

No.

"Harry, no."

"Excuse me? I am his mother. I have every right to be in here. What are you?."

I shake my head as Harry's lips quirk up into a half smirk and I can feel the hairs on my body begin to stand up.

"Harry, Dont!"

"Do you really want to know Mother?"


	16. Chapter 16

"Harry please don't."  
I can feel it in my veins, the wrath, the rage, my patience finally reaching the top of my head.  
No.  
Past my brain.  
"Don't Play with me MOTHER. I know how to fight fire with fire."  
"Harry, what is wrong with you! Look what you've become. You're acting like an ignorant monster. Im telling you, you're going to go to school and you aren't going to fight with me any longer."  
"Im staying here with Louis."  
How dare she think she can separate us by putting this brick wall of education crap. Im done with everything, I'm done with school, im done life in general, and the only single thing that's worth hanging onto anymore is him,  
Louis William Tomlinson.  
My blue eyed, baby boy with my other baby boy inside of him.  
"Harry, leave. I will tell the nurses to come kick you out."  
"Like I said mother, I have more right to be here than you right now so I suggest YOU leave."  
"H-Harry, dont do this."   
Louis is in bed, sheets up to his nose where he hopes to hide from all the lies we've been keeping.   
I feel this rush in me and I'm infinite, I can still feel it running inside of my body and I cant give Zero fucks about what im doing at the moment. The truth is bound to come out anyways, I dont see why not now.  
"Is that so? And why do you think that? Please explain."  
My mother is such a fool.  
She's a fool.  
I know she has the evidence in front of her eyes but she just doesn't recognize it. Louis hides under his blankets and I know, he's surrendered too, giving me a vip pass to the heaven land of testing my mothers patience.  
"If you insist."  
"Harry. just....get out."  
"Im not going to get out, I told you, I have the right to be here more than you."  
"STOP IT HARRY. JUST. GET OUT. Your brother doesn't want you here at the moment and neither do I!"  
Poor little fool.  
"Is that so Mother? That wasn't what he was saying when we went on our little bonding trip a week before my graduation. Remember that?"  
"H-Harry please, dont."  
I see my mother glance at Louis and glare at me back, eyebrows furrowed.  
"You know what im talking about mum?. what was that like.....how long are you Louis? like......8 months ago."  
"Harry, what are yo-"  
"Who's Louis' baby daddy mum? Have you found em yet?"  
I feel the rush in me, her face, she's growing red but she just shrugs, turning to look at Louis who's still hiding underneath the sheets.  
"I-I don't know, h-he hasn't told me or introduced him to me o-"  
"Well, look no further, mother. He's standing right in front of you."  
I could hear Louis sobs in the background, but all my attention is in the woman in front of me, with eyes widened, and shaking her head repeatedly.  
"This is not something to joke about Harry! How dare you accuse your little innocent brother of such a thing!!"  
"Im not lying."  
"Yes you are!"  
"No."  
"Yes Harry, and I need you to leave right now!"  
"Making me leave isn't going to change the fact that I fucked Louis balls deep into the mattress mom. So hard I managed to get him pregnant. So grow the fuck up and accept the truth. I'm not gonna say i regretted it either.   
Your son was so.  
fucking.  
tight."

\---[Louis Pov]

 

 

My whole body shudders with what happens next, the smack echoing through the whole room along with small grunt. My mother is stepping away with tears down her face while a small smile remains on his lips, merely flipping his fringe out of his eyes and facing her.

His cheek is tinted blood now, and he's acting as if the last 30 seconds hasn't happened. 

How could he do this. The time wasn't right. The way he said it wasn't right. None of this is right.

The way he's laughing at this very moment isn't right.

"Y-You're lying. Louis, tell me it isn't true. T-This is not happening. T-This cant. Please Louis, son."

My mothers at the edge of my bed now, hands clutched together in form of a prayer and I know deep down, she is. I can easily deny it right now, flat out lie and watch as a smile will form on her face, but really, what's the point?

Im tired of Lies and repeating this discussion another day, another time, doesn't sound too appealing. I glance towards Harry and he knows I have the option too, raising his eyebrows and shrugging, giving me the last word.

"H-He's not."

I whisper and the disappointment immediately takes over her face, her bottom lip quivering while she chokes out a loud sob. I don't stop her when she covers her face and rushes to leave the room, slamming the door shut as she exits.

I can't believe that just happened.

My mother knows I slept with my brother.

She knows who my baby belongs to now.

I don't know what's going to happen next or how Harry thought this would play out and the thought is   
scaring me to death.

I lift my eyes off of my hands and glare at Harry, feeling beyond enraged on his way of handling things. He didn't have to say all of that. He could have just repeated his previous statement again or sit down with her and break the news or blurt it out when we got home over tea, just not....this way.

"Are you happy now?"

He's doing his jaw pop again and shrugs, rolling his eyes.

"She needed a reason to back off. I gave her one."

"It wasn't the right time Ha-."

"And when was? When you're in the delivery room and I have to explain to her why my name is going to be under the second parent? or were you not planning to put me there either."

He gets closer to the bed and I sigh, thinking answering that question isn't the best thing I should do right now.

"This is for the best. She was going to find out sooner or later anyway, might as well get it over with."

"But was that all necessary. Especially the last part. Y-You sounded like you were proud of it Harry. and that's horrible."

"Why wouldn't I be proud? That was a moment worth the world Louis."

"But it was between us! Just us Harry! You shoved it in your mother's face like you were proud that you proved her wrong. I'm not an object you can wave around Harry. That was private. And she's your mother. Our mother."

"She's more of a mother to you, Louis. Has been ever since you came into our lives."

"Are you seriou-. Dont play that card."

"I'm not, Trust me. I dont care anymore."

I rub my eyelids with my thumbs as I try to think of something, anything really, that could help me solve this dilemma.

But there isn't.

Is she going to tell the family?  
Will she tell my friends?  
What's going to happen between her and Harry?  
What's going to happen between Harry and I from here?  
What if she doesn't want me to keep the baby?  
What if she asks me to abort the baby because it Harry's?

"Louis?"

"This was a mistake Harry."

I can't help the tear that escapes my eye as I predict the worst possible, mother having the doctors take what's mine away from me.

"I need to ask you something."

"This isnt the time for 21 questions Harry, I need to know what your solution is for all of this. I need answers. What was your plan after you told her? What are we going to do? You must surely have something in mind because if this wasn't planned, then you've Damn screwed us over."

"I-I didn't plan this Louis."

"Well Great."

"But it doesn't matter okay. We'll get through this. Everything's fine"

"No, Everything's not fine Harry. Our mother just ran out and hasn't came back. Harry, I'm scared. I-I'm so scared."

Warmthness comes to my face when he cups my cheek and tilts it gently to meet his face, his freshly bruised face. 

"Do you love me?"

"It's not that simp-"

"That's not what I asked, I said, Do you love me?"

How Can I Not when he's the only one who looks at me that way. He looks into my eyes and he's not afraid. He looks into my eyes like he could see the world and I understand completely, seeing mine in his too.

"With all my heart."

He nods and I feel the sparks when he presses his lips against mine, kissing me so slowly and passionately Im hundred percent sure this is what heaven feels like.

Our lips part and I can feel the heat of his breath against my forehead, a gentle kiss pressed against the skin there before he pulls away and looks at me again.

"Im going to go fix things with mum. For you."

"You're going to come back right? Y-You won't leave? "

He slides his hand up the blanket and entwines his hand with mine, gently raising it in the air and pressing a kiss to my knuckles. I smile at him despite how horrible I feel inside because he has to confront her alone.

"I'm not going anywhere without you anymore, baby. You want this right? Me and you?"

"Y-Yes."

"Forever?"

"Yes Harry, forever."

"I'd do anything to be with you, Louis."

"M-Me too."

He lets go of my hand and nods, taking a few steps backwards before completely turning away. He glances one last time as he exits the door, a small wave and he's gone, leaving me alone in the room with my clouded thoughts.

**********

"And he told me he didn't like Beyonce so I just dumped my caramel mocha latte on his head and I left. Such a jerk right! Who doesn't like Beyonce?"

"Only the worst."

"Exactly! and guess what else I found out? You're not going to believe me!"

I looked at the clock and Stacys words became a blur, everything fading out except the time arrows signaling the time.

3:27pm.

It had to be wrong.

It just had to be wrong.

Eleven to Twelve. Twelve to One. One to. Two. Two to Three. 

One. Two. Three. Four hours had passed and it just had to be wrong. What kind of convincing took four hours to agree on. Four hours wasn't a victory , it was failure.

"Louis?"

I snapped out of my trance and turned to face Stacy, the petit, red headed nurse looking at me with a frown on her face.

"M sorry.....what were you saying?"

"You're totally not interested in my date last night. booo."

"Im sorry Stacy. I-I just have alot of things on my mind right now."

"I'll say. You've been acting pretty weird since your boyfriend came. He's a handsome man by the way."

I can't help but feel a pinch of jealousy as Stacy compliments my man, which she shouldn't be because he's taken and he's mine, and im going to have his baby and she shouldn't be looking at him that much to conclude he's handsome because hes mine in the first place and why have you ruined this for me Stacy, he's mine and only I can call him handsome and I need to kill you now because you've looked at him and therefore you're a threat to me and this is such a sad thing because I actually liked you, why stacy wh-

"Louis?"

"What?"

"You zoned out a little there, what's on your mind?"

Your death.

"My boyfriend."

"Oh right. About that, guess what I found out!"

"W-What?"

She jumps on the bed and kneels in closer to me, completely disregarding the professionalism she is supposed to have.

"I was just looking at Baby Tommos record and I found out that if you had obtained your mother's married name, you could have been a Styles. And your boyfriend is a Styles too! Imagine what could have been, you wouldn't even need to be married to have the same name as your boyfriend. That be so cool!"

"Oh...."

"Yeah! I asked him yesterday if he happened to be related to Anne since there isn't any many Styles  around here but then I remembered, duh!, of course not! That's your mother! and I ran away. I felt so embarrassed. Can you apologize to him for me? What I suggested was so wrong and I can't help feel awful about it."

Under the sheets, I clawed my nails into the mattress as I tried not to scream, her words a slap to the face.

Its so wrong.

Its so so wrong.

"S-Stacy, have you happened to see my mother around in the halls? or my boyfriend? T-They left a couple of hours ago and they haven't came back."

"The last place I remember seeing your mother was down in the cafeteria. She seemed upset and then your brother appeared but they left together. I thought they'd be back by now."

"Left? Left where?"

"I-I dont know. Like...out the building."

"They left the hospital?!"

"I-I don-"

"Am I interrupting something?"

A wave of Relief washed over me as Harry knocked lightly on the door, peeking his head in.

"Harry!"

I felt like a child as I reached out to him and he grinned from ear to ear before coming in. I tried to ignore the bag in his hand as he came beside the bed and embrace me in a warm hug, although his hair was a little damp.

"W-Where were you?! You took so long!"

"M Sorry baby, I was taking a shower and I got you some clean clothes."

"I-I'll be on my way now."

Stacy coughed as she walked out the door and I nodded, giving her a small wave.

"By-"

"Nurse Jones, is it?"

"Um. Yes, Mr.Styles."

Stacy stopped at the door, hands behind her back and kicked at her feet, while Harry looked at her and oh, was it time for Stacy to say her last words.

"I was wondering if you could do something for me. The Nurse....Tamara woman at the desk said you were the go to person for what I need."

"Oh, of course Mr.Styles, what do I serve my pleasure to."

Stacy, why does it seem like you are flirting with my boyfriend, I am not afraid to waddle over there and pummel your face in.

"I got Louis here approved for a ride around town. Not actually ride, but like, wheelchair wise. The nurse upfront said you are in charge of them. Would you mind bringing me one for Louis?"

"He's been cleared?"

"I've been cleared?"

Me and Stacy ask at the same time and I dont know what to address first, the sudden competitive game between me and her or the fact that its been a day and apparently I'm fine to go out on a wheel chair.

"No. Not exactly. I have to bring him back obviously but....you know what,nevermind, I think I saw a nurse down the hallway ill ask h-"

"No no, that's fine Mr.Styles. I'll bring you one myself. if you'll excuse me."

Stacy walks out the door and suddenly, I feel a pair of soft lips being crashed to mine. He has a interesting taste in his mouth but before I can devour it, hes pulling away and placing the previous bag on the bed.

"I didn't think you'd feel comfortable going to the park in a hospital robe so I brought you some sweatpants, a shirt, a hoodie, some socks and sandals."

I look at the bag, and notice the clothes are all mine, except for the hoodie.

"You went back to the house?"

"Yea....Mum didn't think you'd feel comfortable in my clothes. which she is right....you probably dont fit in my skinnies and probably wouldn't feel comfortable in them either."

Harry smiles down and presses a kiss to my cheek before walking down the mattress and sliding on my socks. The gesture is thoughtful and I dont know if I should stop him, feeling the touch of his fingertips against my skin the best.

"Lift your legs up a bit, love."

I comply as he grabs each one of my legs alternately and slides on my bare skin the pair or gray sweatpants, which bring warmth to my skin I didnt know I was missing.

He arrives at my thighs and I don't move anymore, knowing I have to take my robe off. Stacy is still in the room and I call her over.

"Harry, c-can you step out for a bit while Stacy helps me remove my robe."

"What? Why?"

"Cause..."

I dont offer any other explanation but Harry isn't budging, hands still on my hips waiting for me to take it off.

"Harry please."

"Louis, ive seen you naked multiple times. Its okay."

"Please Harry, step out or im not going."

I just dont want him to see.

My manhood is one thing but not my belly.

"Its okay Mr.Styles, I can take it from here."

Stacy picks up the shirt and hoodie and Harry frowns, hesitantly placing the clothing down and walking towards the exit.

*

"So you're taking me to the park?"

"Yeah. The one by the ice cream shop, remember?"

"Yeah Harry, I do. I'm not the one that left."

Harry rolls me down the hospital ramp and says nothing, just running his fingers through my hair before stopping at the end of the sidewalk. His car is parked beside the building and before I even get a chance, he's swiping me off my wheelchair and placing me inside the car gently and slowly, and I can still feel the after math of yesterday. 

My back is burning again but I refuse to admit it, not wanting to ruin my opportunity of going out.

"You okay babe?"

"M fine."

"Are you sure you are feeling okay? If not, we can go ba-"

"Seriously Harold, im fine."

I try and reach out to the door handle but he closes it for me, staying a while outside trying to fold the wheelchair. When he finally manages to do so, I tease him through the window and I can see him laughing while he goes to the drivers side of the vehicle and places the chair in the backseat.

He climbs into the car and I can't deny the attraction suddenly building in the air.

I want to kiss him so much.

"Here, take this. The nurse said it be good for future pain."

Harry reaches into his pocket and takes out a napkin. He unfolds it and inside, there's two pills. He grabs the water bottle and pops it open, handing it to me along with the pills.

I place both of them on my tongue and tip the water bottle on my mouth quickly, swallowing as much as I can and hoping the pills go down along the way.

Ive never been the best pill taker but im glad they slide through, Harry grinning at me when he sees I dont struggle.

I put the water down and turn to place my seatbelt on, which is feeling very itchy.

"Can you turn on the heater Harry, im cold. its chilly outside today."

"You bet it is.. and anything for you babe."

Harry starts the engine and immediately sets the heater to the warmest temperature available, which I thank him with a kiss. 

It's so wrong but it feels so right.

His hands slips between my thighs and im gasping for air in the hospital parking lot. He doesn't go any further however, linking his hand with mine as he pulls away.

"I just love holding your hand while I drive. Makes me feel......manly."

Harry blurts out and I can't help but giggle, seeing no resemblance whatsoever.

"You wanna know what I love? Hot chocolate. Can we pick some up on our way to the park? and some biscuits."

"Sure thing. anything you want."

"And a pack of M&Ms too?"

"I'll buy you a whole box of them."

Harry brings our entwined hands up into his face and presses another kisses to the knuckles.

Im charmed.

Finally, he begins to back out the parking lot and I smile as he doesn't pull apart our hands, which now rest on top of the gear.

He pulls into the road and occasionally glances at me while we drive, a small smile painted on his lips. He turns the music volume up and kodaline is playing on, the perfect combination for a soothing afternoon drive.

before I know it, I'm resting my head on the windshield and yawning as everything on the sleeps becomes blurry.

Oh pregnancy symptoms.

how I despise you.

"Mm. H-Harry"

"What is it dear?"

"C-Can. mmmm. wake me up........when. were there. M gna nap. gna take a nap"

"Sure thing baby, sweet dreams."

You too Harry.

\------------

Its hot.

I'm hot.

Im really really hot.

I can feel my skin burning.

The hoodie.

The hoodie is burning me alive.

My vision is blurry as I begin to wake from my slumber, feeling im seconds away from drowning in my own sweat.

It's hot.

Im hot.

I try taking my hoodie off and I burst out sobbing, feeling useless and weak and hot and if I was pregnant i could take this hoodie off. I raise my arms to lift it off but I feel the sting rush right through my body, and I begin to cry. 

it's hot.

im tired.

my back hurts.

"L-Louis, what's wrong baby?"

"Harry,my sweater My sweater. take it off please. im burning."

Harry leans down slightly in front of me and carefully takes my hoodie off, fresh air hitting my skin. 

"Better?"

"Mhmm."

I blink and begin to take in my surroundings, seeing nothing but darkness surround me. There's suddenly metal touching my elbow and I look down, realizing im sitting on my wheel chair.

"We're here alrea-"

When I look up to ask Harry why we've arrived so late at the park, what's in front of me, is not the sight I expect to see.

"W-What is that?"

"Louis, I can explain."

In front of me is a pair of Huge stairs leading up to a huge, metal bird also known as

 

"I-Is that a airplane?"

I look around and there's a man in a suit, walking up the stairs into the fairly medium plane, cap on and small flying pin attached to his shirt pocket.

"W-What is all this?"

"Mr.Styles, sir. Where should I put these?"

I look up and notice another man on the plane, on each hand what seems to be...

"Are those...... my bags? Harry, what is he doing with my bags."

"Louis, please let me explain.

I turn around and feel my heart beating in my chest, realizing the backseat of Harry's car is filled with luggage. It hits me in the face what's going on and what could be the possible reason for why the man on board the plane is asking where to put my bags.

"Harry, what the fuck!"

"Louis, just listen for a sec."

"Harry, what the fuck are you doing?!"

"Louis, Los Angeles is so much better than Ches-"

"Are you insane?! You there, put my bags back in the car! We're not going nowhere! What the hell Harry!!"

"Louis, listen to me"

"Are you out of your mind Styles?! What is all this?! Harry, where the hell did you get a plane?!"

"It's my private jet."

A what.

"Modeling pays really good."

I shake my head and look around me, feeling uncomfortable with so many men looking at me like im a lunatic. im not the crazy one here.

"Harry, are you insane?!"

"Loui-"

"You didn't seriously think I would agree to this would you?!"

"No..."

"THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS. I TOLD YOU TO PUT MY BAGS BACK IN THE CAR. RIGHT NOW!"

"Louis please dont scream at my staff."

"I DONT CARE WHO THEY ARE, TELL THEM TO PUT MY STUFF BACK IN THE CAR AND TAKE ME BACK TO THE HOSPITAL HARRY."

"Louis, I get that you're a little mad right now bu-"

"IM ALOT MORE THAN A LITTLE MAD HARRY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. DID YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I WOULD BE OKAY WITH YOU FLYING US OFF TO L.A WHILE I LEAVE MOM HERE BY HERSELF."

"You said you'd do anything."

"THIS IS NOT JUST ANYTHING HARRY. THIS IS FUCKED UP IN SO MANY WAYS. HARRY, WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING THROUGH YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE PLANNING THIS OUT. I WOULD NEVER AGREE TO THIS. DID YOU THINK I WOULD JUST SLEEP THROUGH THE WHOLE THING OR WHAT."

"Well.....yes. a bit. the pills I gave you weren't that effective as I see now."

"Excuse me, the what?"

I am furious and I know by the way Harry is looking at me like I've suddenly become Satan's child.

"T-The pills. Sleeping pills.. They were meant to knock you out for a good time. B-But....you're awake right now so.....tada"

Harry waves both of his hands in the air and I cover my face not being able to take any of this longer. This is insane, we're going to get in so much trouble.

"Harry, please. Im so tired right now, my back hurts and I just want to go back to the hospital. Just please. tell those men to put my bags back in the car and lets go to the hospital. please Harry."

I can feel the tears running down my eyes now and I can hear in the background Harry commanding his staff to put everything in the car where its not supposed to be, but will be eventually.

I don't speak to him as he picks me up and places me back into the car, buckling my seatbelt before he walks to the other side and gets in.

I can feel his eyes on the side of my head but I dont give in, neither to the way he puts his hand on my thigh and asks for my hand. I push it away and he gets the message, retreating back to his side.

how could I be so stupid.

"You said you loved me."

"Harry, just.....put the air on, im hot."

"I meant what i said. I love you Louis."

"I meant it too, until you decided to interpret it to ' I wanna hop on a plane and runaway to L.A together'. You are out of your mind Harry, this wasn't right."

"It's the only way we can be together."

"We're fine here in Cheshire!"

"But Everyone knows us!"

"And?"

"What do you think they're going to say when the baby is born and it gets my last name."

"Its not."

The car comes to a halt and I move forward in the seat harshly, the seatbelt hurting my stomach a bit.

"Yes it is. It's my child."

"And mines too."

"Louis, you didn't seriously think I'd be okay with hiding my relationship with my baby when it grew up."

"Harry, dont turn things around. Just take me to the hospital."

"Louis, its my child too!"

"Harry, you were never part of my plan to begin with. You weren't supposed to come back any more, you we're supposed to stay in L.A then go to Princeton and move on with your life. For me.....my child was going to grow up here with only me in its life. Surrounded by my family and my friends."

"So you were never going to plan on telling me I had a baby?"

"As long as you stayed in America, I wouldn't need to."

"What happened when I came back."

"I'd just tell you I knocked a girl up and she left me the child."

"You're unbelievable."

He runs his fingers through his hair and lifts off his foot from the pedal, beginning to drive again although the light is red.

I can see from the corner of my eye, there's tears rolling down his cheeks now but I cant give in. He has a point, everyone knows us here in Cheshire. If I want my baby to grow up with a normal life, Harry cant be in ours.

"Im sorry." is the only thing I can offer as he continues to drive and I rest my head back on the windshield and look out to the night sky.

There's not many cars around and when I see us pulling into a big mansion, I begin to freak out.

"Harry, whe-"

"Hold on. Im going to get some clothes before I head over with you to the hospital."

"wait,aren't you staying at mums? wait..... You have a house here?.... in Cheshire?"

"No. Its a ......friends"

"Then why are your clothes h-"

I look into his eyes and I can feel my heart sink to the soles of my feet. The hairs on my neck rise and i can feel the goosebumps taking over every inch of my skin.

He hasn't changed.

He hasn't changed at all.

I look behind him and take a closer look at the massive house, resting on top of the hill in perfect view for the sunrise I presume. The sunrise he was probably looking forward to wake up with another one.

"Can I meet ....her? Y-Your...."

"Louis, just shut up."

Harry steps out the car and slams the door shut, pressing on a keypad until the gates slowly open.

He doesn't turn back as he heads inside and I am grateful for it, not wanting him to see me break down not even one more time, because I realize now, he isn't worth it.

*

I'm looking down at my belly as I think to myself, whether all of this was worth it all. 

This pain in my heart, the sorrow, the rejection, all of what came since the first day I met Harry Styles.

I wonder what could have happened if we hadn't came back from our trip one day earlier than planned, if what we once had, would be the same.

I wonder what would me and Harry could be doing right now, possibly picking out baby names or choosing what type of theme its first birthday party would be.

I wonder if we would be cuddled up on the couch kissing at Annes beach house or in my room, trying to keep our snickers down so mum down stairs wouldn't hear.

Would Anne would have eventually spoke up and tell us I was her son by herself or would she keep it a secret for the rest of our lives? 

We would eventually had to tell her I was expecting and by her son, and what would have happened then?

Too soon i came to the realization, our love had no happy ending.

Even if we had not found out I was her son months before, she would have eventually spoke up months after, ripping me apart from Harry regardless of the timing because that's how it was meant to be.

I would never have Harry.

Harry would never have me.

"Im sorry sweatheart. I guess you werent meant to have a second daddy after all."

I rub my belly and let the tears flow out, feeling utterly torn apart by the cruelty fate has decided to gift me.

There's a shadow in the window and I turn to see why Harry is standing outside, unexpectedly startled when the door is swung open and another surprise is waiting for me.

"Oh my go-"

"Y-You're Louis?"

"Oh my god. oh my god, you know my name. Y-You said my name. Oh my god, you're here. W-What?! Oh my god. H-Hi! I-Im your biggest fan!! oh my god, Ed Sheeran, what are you doing here in Cheshire?!"

"What? N-No Louis. What are you doing here in California?"

Harry appears in the back and stops running down the parking lot pavement, rubbing the back of his neck as he comes to the halt. I frown at both of them and shake my head, not understanding anything that's going on.

As I glance at the rearview car mirror, I can't help but notice the big shining 9 letters that seems to reflect from the back of the car.

Hollywood 

"Cali-what?"


	17. Chapter 17

"This is insane. You're insane. We're going to be in so much shit Harry. Oh my god, mom is going to freak and I dont even want to think what's going to happen to us when we go back an-"

"We're not going back."

Louis stops pulling at his hair while he is seated in the middle of the living room in his wheelchair he refuses to get out, thinking the most foolish thing possible. 

I'm not driving us back anytime soon to the airport and if he thinks staying in that wheel chair will convince me otherwise, it seems he's going to be waiting a long time.

"What do you mean were not going back?"

Its that simple.

He glances between me and Ed and I can literally feel the awkwardness radiating off of his body. He coughs silently and excuses himself to the next room, which I mentally thank because I can see this conversation is just beginning.

"Just like I said. We're not going back."

"You can't just.....keep me here."

"Louis, you're pregnant. It was risky enough to getting you here in the first place."

"Then why the hell did you do it if you knew the possible outcomes!"

"I talked to the Dr. Winston before we left Louis. He said it was fine as long as the pregnant woman or ....boy in your case didn't travel again until after birth."

"Wait, he knows?!"

"Well.....not exactly. I sorta mentioned I had a friend who wanted to take his 8 month pregnant wife on a vacation before the baby arrived. Assumed the same rules applied to you. So there you have it, there's no way were going to go back anytime soon unless your planning to sail across the Pacific ocean back for a month."

"You've got to be shitting me."

Louis looks around the room and I ponder what he's looking for. I shouldn't be amused when he's trying to figure out how to steer the wheelchair, but I am, seeing that he isn't necessarily the best at it. He manages to travel a couple of feet and before I know it, my grin is swept off my face, getting a ash tray thrown my direction, which shatters on the wall behind me.

Close one.

"The Hell Louis?"

"Y-You basically kidnapped me!"

"Well Sorry. I didn't see any other solution."

"REALLY? THERE WAS ZERO OTHER SOLUTIONS TO THIS PROBLEM?"

"I'm Sorry, but trying to keep your relationship with your brother and the baby he's expecting from you with a raging mother isn't the easiest shit to do."

"You said you would try and fix things with her!"

"And I did! I tried.....kinda."

"Kinda? Harry, were halfway across the world. I don't think you did."

He's trying to move in the wheel chair again and I leap towards him this time, learning my lesson just minutes ago. Before he can snatch the picture frame of me and Ed at his birthday in las Vegas, I have a hold on the device and roll him away from any possible throwable objects.

"Harry!!"

I put him in the corner facing the wall, and it sorta resembles time out in elementary school. This shouldn't be this amusing, but it is, although I know it's kind of not me right now. 

"Harry, are you serious!!"

"I don't want you break anything else."

"I don't care what you want, I want to leave! I cant have my baby Here. No. We need to go back!"

"We cant go back Louis! It will be a greater risk for the baby."

"And who's fault is that!!"

From where I'm standing, I know he has his arms crossed against his chest now, maintaining their balance on the baby belly. By the way he sighs, I know this isn't what he wanted and I hate the way I realize it even more now.

When I see he's decided to loose the battle, I turn him back around and kneel in front of him, resting my chin on his knees. I look up and I can see the tears sprawled all over his rosy cheeks and it breaks me heart I'm the cause of his suffering.

Maybe this was a mistake.

"Louis.....I swear, this wasn't what I planned."

"Are you sure Harry? Because by the looks of the pills and the private jet, this seems pretty planned out."

"It was a last minute thing."

"Why is it that I'm having trouble believing anything that comes out your mouth anymore?"

"Lou-"

"You know what, maybe it has something to do with the fact that you drugged me to get me here. I think that's what it is."

His words are like daggers, Louis trust slipping out my grip faster than my mind could process. 

He just doesn't understand.

"L-Louis. If I didn't do what I did, Y-You'd probably never see me again. Is that you want?"

I reach up and cup his face, wiping away the pouring liquids with my thumb. He bites his lip and looks away, not being able to look me in the eye. The Rejection hurts and I know my rush is finally getting out of my system, seeing the complexity of the situation I've put both of us in.

Fuck Harry.

You did it again.

"N-No. I-I just don't see why you couldn't just talk things with mom. What did you even say to her?"

"Nothing."

Louis eyebrows furrow and he raises his hand in the air, waving it like I did the most stupid thing in the world.

"So you didnt talk to her at all?! What the hell Harry! You didn't try to fix it then!"

"I didn't get a chance to Lou!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He's gritting his teeth now and he has every right to. He just doesn't understand and it seems the only reasonable thing I can do now is try to justify my actions before I get my head ripped off.

I pull my chin away from Louis knees and bring mines up to my chest, wrapping my arms around the bottom of my legs. I rock a little while I jumble my thoughts together, my memories. When I'm done, Louis still staring me with a cold look on his face. I sigh defeated and nod, not really having any option.

"I was going to talk to her Louis, I swear. After you told me you'd do anything, I felt....confident. I felt determined to fight for you. But he was there."

"Who?"

"That nosy bastard cousin of yours."

"um......"

"Edward."

\-----F-------

3rd Floor.

2nd Floor.

1st Floor.

Basement.

The elevator bell rings and the doors are suddenly sliding open, relieving me of the awkwardness I was trapped in with the small, finger curling brunette. She kept popping her bubble gum the whole ride down and if she thought I couldn't feel her eyes glued to the back of my head, she was wrong.

I step out the elevator quickly and make a left turn as fast as I can away from her, already familiar with the way to the small cafeteria. 

Mother should be down here, probably moping over a cup of coffee and some muffins over how wrong this all seems. It is, but in my perspective, she's equally guilty in this mess. 

If she had just confessed to me from the start the feathery haired,blue eyed beautiful boy in my doorway was actually my not so dead brother, I would have never set my eyes on him ever again.

I step in the cafeteria and the first thing I notice is Stacy in the corner of the room lined up in the Coffee shop. I gag and hope she doesn't notice me, already knowing her Good Ol Nurse tactics are just horrible amateur flirting. 

She seems distracted and once I notice what she keeps glancing at, I find myself looking at mum in a table sitting down with her back to me while Edward does the same, although standing next to her while he runs his finger through his quiffed hair.

Didn't he and William leave?

I Begin to make my way towards them and stop at  reasonable distance when I hear my name come out my cousins lips.

"But....it seems Harry already had made his claim. He loves him."

I do.

"Edward, you don't get it! It's wrong. It's so wrong darling, and I can't believe Harry would do that to him."

I wasn't the only one that wanted this.

I discreetly make my way to a nearby table and stick my head under a left over magazine, trying to hear what's going on. what she thinks of all this.

"So then what do you suggest?"

"Harry needs to leave."

No.

"He's not going to leave him."

I guess your brain isn't all that dead after all Edward.

"Then we will keep them apart. I can't have this Edward, not while Louis is under my roof. Louis is my son and Harry is my son regardless and I-It just can't. They have to be apart until they understand that brothers is all they can be."

"Louis is expecting a child from him m-"

"I dont care!! He will have to leave or You will have to help me disappear Louis until he does!"

What.

No.

"W-What are you saying?"

"T-They just CANT be together Edward. See this from my point of view."

"Im trying, im trying! But......I love them both and this just doesn't seem righ-"

"Edward. listen to me carefully. We're going to get your brother right now and we're going to make sure Louis disappears long enough till he leaves. Is that clear?"

My mum stands up from her chair and I bury my face in the sheets of paper while I feel the drops of liquid beginning to flow out my eyes. I don't hear Edward respond but by the way he follows behind her out the cafeteria, I can assume he agrees.

\-------Ends------

"S-She wanted to keep us apart?"

"Apparently so. A-And I just. I just. couldn't. So I beat her to it first."

"I do-"

"After a reasonable amount of time, and after Stacy left the cafeteria, the coast seemed clear so I made a run for it. I left the hospital and drove straight to mums. I knew she was heading to Williams first so I took advantage of the opportunity, knowing their house was like 40 mins, taking them approximately 2 hours to come back. I um. I broke in."

"Broke in where?"

"The house."

Louis eyes widened and I can see the discomfort in his face, with everything im telling him.

"The door was hard to budge so I broke in through the living room window. I went around the garage and got some baseball bats that I didnt use any more and threw them until there was enough space to fit through the hole in the broken glass. Once I was in, I just got suitcases and bags we had stored in the attic and began packing everything that seemed you might need in your room. I left all the baby stuff though, I can buy you some here. I got your bags, shoes, clothing, and headed to mums file cabinet in her room afterwards. I--I didn't know what was what so I just packed any and all types of files with your name on it. Your hospital records, birth certificate, anything that proved you once existed in that house to make it harder for the cops to identity you when mum called in the missing report. I took everything with my name on it too."

I stop and look at Louis and he's shaking his head, Palm pressed to forehead in distress.

I know. Its a lot to take in.

"W-What did you do then? After you....you took all the evidence we lived there."

"I packed everything in the car and called in my staff, telling them to have the private jet ready within an hour. I took a quick shower in the house while I waited and when they called me that everything was set, I drove the car up there so they could load the plane with all our luggage."

Louis closed his eyes and bit his lip, choking on a small, but audible sob.

"Once they were done, I drove back and found the nearest.....pharmacy and got sleeping pills. They were suppose to knock you out 12 hours, probably longer since you took both but....we see how that turned out."

Louis is glaring at me now and I dont blame him. What I did was wrong, but what can I say?

"I drove back to the hospital and took a while to find sometime I could talk to Dr.Winston about flying and pregnancy and whatnot. He confirmed me all i needed to know and I made my way to your room right after. I lied about the nurses letting you out, and it was just too easy convincing your friend to get me a wheelchair to get you out of there. I needed you in regular clothes so it wouldn't look suspicious when we walked out. Its required to leave in wheelchair most of the time when you're in the pregnancy department so obviously, we wouldn't stand out and we didn't. You know the rest from there....the whole pill and knocking out thing. I drove us to the airport right away, called in my private jet and with all your birth records and what not, we got passed security and all and we were on our way. You woke up right when we landed here. And....well.....I'm sorry about everything Louis.....But being away from you just....

I panicked"

I can feel Louis hand on my face now and I nuzzle into it, feeling how soft and warm his skin is. I love his touch, the way he feels like marshmallows and probably doesn't even realize it.

"Im So Sorry Louis."

If it wasn't for the repeated caressing of Louis fingers against my cheeks, I probably wouldn't notice I was crying, my skin now damp and wet. I look up to meet his eyes and realize hes crying too, but still trying to give me comfort the way I should be doing to him.

"I Love You Louis. I Love you alot. A-And this place....this place can be our second chance. No one knows who we are here. Im Styles. You're Tomlinson. We have no family here. Were just foreigners. If we go back, who knows what will happen. Who knows what mom will do. She seemed determined to keep us apart. and I wouldn't be surprised if she'd throw me in jail if we ever went back."

"She's your mother Harry. She wouldn't do tha-"

"You dont know that Louis. They took you once and I repeated history again. Your dad got years to life, I can expect double that because its not just you I kidnapped."

He blinks up at me and I can see confusion written all over his face. I sigh and carefully, begin to kneel again in front of Louis. He looks at me with clouded eyes and I take a deep breath before reaching out to what's mine, what belongs to me and Louis.

I wrap my arms around my son and lay my head at the top of Louis belly, hearing a little gasp escape his lips.

"I can't just let you and the little one go."

I turn and press a small kiss to where I assume the belly button may be, trying to connect with my boy who I should have been introduced to a long time ago.

As I pull away, I can see Louis staring at me in awe.

"I can't promise you ill be be the greatest Father, but I can promise you I'll try."

Louis doesn't speak and I take a hold of each of his hands, placing them on top of his stomach while I place mines on top of his.

"This is our baby, Louis. This our little miracle. This is our.......Louis, This is our son."

Now its my turn to stare, watching Louis glossy eyes widened as he looks between the baby and me. His bottom lip begins to quiver and soon, there's a smile replacing that frown. The tears are coming again Although for once, they're happy ones.

"I-Its a boy?"

"It's a boy."

His smile reaches from ear to ear and i swear, I have never seen a more beautiful sight.

"H-Harry. We're going to have a-a boy. We're going to have a baby boy!"

I nod as I laugh and kneel higher to embrace him in a bear hug, pressing my forehead against his as he begins to laugh along with me.

"Yes Louis, we're going to have a boy. Our own little baby boy to love and take care of. I bet he's going to be so handsome like you my angel."

"Oh Harry!"

Louis leans up and I feel our lips suddenly slot together, the world around us stopping in the moment. My mind is screaming  LouisLouisLouis at the taste of his tongue, so exquisite and unique that I wouldn't mind dying with the taste of him in my mouth.

I deepen the kiss as I cup his cheek and use my free hand to pull at the nape of his hair. He moans as I lick the roof of his mouth repeatedly, and the air us rapidly growing hot.

"Fuck. You're so amazing Louis. I Love you."

My hand slowly travels down Louis back and I can feel his shivers. He opens his eyes and now they're a darker shade of blue, staring right into mine.

He's silent but I can feel his grip on the back of my head is getting rougher, his small hand tugging harshly at my curls. I can hear his breath becoming unsteady and I love seeing him this way, my hand slipping underneath his shirt, caressing his skin.

He smashes his lips against mine for another kiss, but it's a needy one now. He's gasping while I run my hands up and down, squeezing at his hips until I think hes ready. 

When he is, I'm halfway up his inner thigh rubbing soothing circles, feeling the way his legs clench to keep me there. Trying to steady his breathing, he pulls away and buries his head on the side of my neck, his warm breath hitting my ear as he pants.

"H-Harry."

"Yes baby?"

"C-Can you. Can you uhhh."

Im nipping on his neck now and I can feel the shift in between us now, Louis nail digging into my back.

"C-Can you make love to me?"

The words alone send a shot of electricity through my body, and I'm helplessly nodding, wanting this since before I saw him.

"Fuck Yes Blue."

I pull away and use my strength to carefully pick up Louis from his wheelchair, wanting to minimize the pressure on his feet that he would have walking. He squeals as I swipe him off his butt and carry him bridal style out the living room. 

I can see the curiosity in his eyes as he takes in every part of the house, 

My house.

Our House.

I kick open the door to my bedroom and chuckle as Louis takes in the sight of my bed.

"T-Thats. It's huge."

Indeed it is. Its bigger than 5 King beds combined and I can feel the thrill rush inside my veins at the thought I'll get to use it many nights with Louis.

I walk around the side and begin to climb on with Louis still in my hold. Training with Marc definitely made this possible, my arms still feeling strong although Louis weights twice now. 

I put him in the middle of the bed carefully and watch in amazement how the blue silk on the sheets definitely make Louis ceruleans stand out.

He's looking at me now, bottom lip in between his teeth as he spreads his legs. 

This is mine.

Im about to take my shirt off when I hear a knock on the door, taking me out of my trance and making me groan inside when I realize were not alone.

Ed is standing in the doorway with a blush on his cheeks and I dont understand why, seeing as im the one seconds away from being caught inside of Louis. Behind him is another familiar man and I recognize its Dr. Alexander, Rosey to me.

"S-Sorry to interrupt but the doctor you called is here."

I look back at Louis and he looks concerned, hands moving away from me and up to belly where he begins to protect it.

"I hope you weren't planning any shenanigans right now Styles. At 8 months, that position is risky for the baby. Sex at this point is only possible from the side or with your partner riding your di-"

"Okay Rosey OKAY. Shut Up Please!"

My annoying as hell 'friend' burst outs laughing while she walks in with her suitcase and places it on the edge of bed. Sheeran begins to laugh too but walks out my bedroom, leaving me Louis and her alone.

I turn back to Louis and his cheeks are red with embarrassment. 

"W-Who is that?"

he whispers and glances on the side of me.

"I don't want you in a hospital so I hired you a private doctor. She's my friend also so it just kind of worked out. She specializes in pregnancy."

"O-Oh."

"Dont worry love, I'll be right here with you."

"S-So we are doing this then...."

"Doing what?"

He looks between me and the doctor and I can see the tears beginning to build in his eyes.

"W-We're staying here.....in America?"

I look down and feel the guilt in my gut worsen. He doesn't want to be here. But it's the only way.

"Yes. We're staying here."

He bites his lip but the attempt fails, Louis breaking out into sobs as he covers his face.

"Harry, can you step out for a bit. I need to do some tests."

I want to ask her if I can stay but Louis makes sure he doesn't want me in the room, kicking me in the thigh as he pushes me away. I sigh and quickly begin to crawl off the bed, heading towards the exit. 

My cell phone rings and I can feel the anger boil in my veins when I see who it is, that bastard having the nerve to call me. I want to reject the call but he might as well get the message now that im keeping Louis with me forever.

I tap the accept button and smile as the roaring begins.

"HARRY YOU LITTLE SHIT, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHERE IS LOUIS?!"

"Well hello to you too Edward."


	18. Chapter 18

"Just look at the time Harry. Its late"

"Actually, Id say I'm pretty early if you ask me,"

"Harry, quit your shit. Your boyfriend his here."

"Who?"

Sheeran's following me around the living room and I dont see why he's making such a big deal out of it. I just went out? I always go out? Its what I do.

"Harry, please. Stop this nonsense."

"I have no clue what you're talking about mate but feel free to stay the night if you'd like."

"I have stayed here the whole night! Harry look at the time, its five in the damn morning! I had to stay up for Louis, who may I inform you, berly fell asleep about 40 mins ago, trying to wait up for you. I thought this would change things!"

"L-Louis?"

I turn back and Look at sheeran in confusion, wondering why the hell is he calling him by his name. It dawns to me our previous incident and im infuriated, realizing he must be at it again.

"Have you been reading my letters again Sheeran! Youre a dead man!"

"Harry for fucks sake, No I have not! S-Stop, Trying. To. Swing. At. Me. And be quiet! You're going to wake him up.!"

I feel emotionally hurt as Sheeran has the nerve to push me down on my own couch, my own home, to whom I have opened it to for with generous arms. He's looking at me in that way again and his words are just big jumbles of nonsense in my brain, and I'm really confused and in the mood for some oatmeal.

oatmeal.

"Wait...Wake up who?"

"Louis you bloody idiot!"

"What the hell are you on about Sheeran, my brother is in Cheshire."

"W-Wait what? He's your brother?"

Oh Shit.

"No of course not. Sheeran I'm confused."

I dont know if he's buying it but I can see the stress right through him and I wonder if its because all the recording he's been doing so lately. He's running his hands through his hair and that's when I see him.

Louis.

He's walking down the staircase rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and....

Its Louis.

What is he doing here?

"H-Harry?"

"Louis, what are you doing here?"

He stops in his tracks and he's giving me the same look Sheeran was before. I reciprocate his actions in attempts to not feel left out but I don't know whats going on.

"What do you mean what am I doing here? You brought me here."

"I did?"

"Louis,cmon, lets go to bed. Harry's not well right now."

Sheeran is walking towards Louis now, hand placed on his back and

He's mine.

"Don't you touch him!!"

I get off the couch and memories come back to me again. I brought Louis with me to L.A. I kidnap slash drugged to get him here and I have a baby. Im going to be a dad. 

What the fuck

"Harry, just stay in the couch. Im taking Louis to bed."

"You're not taking him anywhere!"

"Harry, stop."

Louis looks frighten and I blame him. Sheeran is trying to push him along into the hallway and I wont allow it. I approach them and Sheeran blocks my way, Standing arms spread out so I can't reach Louis.

"Move it Sheeran!"

"Louis, please go to the room and dont open the door."

"Don't tell him what to do!"

What's wrong with Him?! Why is he acting this way.

Louis is looking at me like im a beast and again, I blame Sheeran. His eyes are sparkling in the moonlight that slips through the glass windows and he walks back into my room, closing the door shut.

No.

"What the fuck is your problem Sheeran?! Move!"

"Don't you dare touch him. Go back to the couch and let him rest."

"Don't tell me what to do! I do what I want."

"Harry, please."

This is a test.

Does he think this is a game.

"Im giving you to the count of 3 to leave my house. Who do you think you are? This is my house."

"Harry, dont make me do this."

"One....."

"Harry please."

"Two......."

"Harry."

"Times up."

********

[Louis POV]

"T-Thank you. Again. I-I just don't understand."

"No problem mate. Harry just sometimes gets to wild at night."

"Did he go out and drink? Was he drunk?"

It's a little after ten in the morning now and exhaustion is taking every inch of my body by the second. Harry's friend has been a dear and made me breakfast, although I can tell but of us would rather nap right now by the look of our under eye circles.

I can't help but feel worried for my brother...boyfriend and his behavior a couple of hours ago. The fact that he's currently tied up to the bathroom bath might contribute to that concern.

"No Louis, Harry doesn't drink."

"Well......at least that's some good news."

Ed grimaces and I would be lying if I said I didn't expect a better reaction. Nothing makes sense here, neither do Harry's friends. I should be thrilled with being in the presence of one of my favorite artists, yet I feel guilty I can't stop thinking about the fool in the restroom.

Is this what the daily life of Harry Styles looks like? Disappearing in the middle of the night to not make an appearance until the crack of dawn of the next day?

"L-Louis. Can I ask you something?"

I turn towards the red haired lad and he's glancing down at my food tray, to which I've probably only ate 2 fruits out of and I'm beginning to feel horrible. My voice fails me and I respond with a small hum, and he nods, realizing it means a go.

"How old are you really?"

Its strange but I can feel the atmosphere suddenly oppose anything in my favor. He's waiting for an answer and I'm ashamed of what it is.

"F-Fifteen."

I can hear his breath suddenly hitch but I look down at my plate, not wanting to see another face full of disappointment. He whispers behind his breath an barely audible 'So he wasn't lying' and I shake my head, although it's probably something I wasn't supposed to hear.

"Your baby....then. You and.....Harry's baby. You were um f-"

"Fourteen yes. I was clueless and a idiot at the age of 14. Still kinda am, if you haven't noticed."

I chuckle to lighten the mood but I know im just fooling myself. There's no reason to put a smile where it doesn't belong so I find myself looking back at Harry's friend with no dignity whatsoever left behind.

"Did Harry rap-"

"NO"

I can see where the conversation is going now and im suddenly waving my hands frantically in the air. Never in a million years could that possibly happen.

"Louis, its okay if you dont want to tell me, but... I can hel-"

"No No No, He didn't...He didn't I swear. I did it because I wanted to."

"But he is seventeen."

"What's your point?"

"You were fourteen Louis, that's my point."

I can see where this is going now and its switching towards the least direction I want it to. His hand slightly twitches and lands above his cellphone on then counter, giving me the shivers.

"You've got to believe me Harry's friend. I wanted it. I wanted ....him. I still do. It's just....I didn't think we would end up with....a baby."

"This just all seems wrong Louis. You're a boy to start with, a child actually barely making his first steps toward teenage hood. And you're pregnant. What did he do to you?"

"Nothing Ed. We did it together. And we received the consequences."

"You weren't supposed to have any though, you're a guy!"

He raises his voice at me and I don't understand why this is upsetting him.

" If this is a way of calling me a freak of nature, go ahead. Believe it or not, I love my baby and I don't regret what I did."

"No no no, that's not what I meant. Its just Harry, w-"

"Harry gave me something beautiful and I couldn't have asked for anything better than it."

"Lou-"

"Harold you arse, guesss what I have!!!! where are you?! making me some breakfast I presume?"

A High pitched voice rings through the kitchen and the sound of heels come to a halt when I lock my eyes with a tall blonde now halfway into the room.

Who is she.

"wat de."

The blue eyed woman begins to speak and its definitely not an american accent.

Who is she.

How did she get in.

I invite myself to inspect her and she looks like she's left the party of the year no little than an hour ago. Her hair is a mess, her dripped mascara is stained against her cheeks and I cant tell if her clothes are ripped because its what American people call fashion or if she was just in the middle of a raccoon fight.

"Sheeran, wie is deze."

She speaks again and she's pointing at me.

What is she saying?!

Now its her turn to stare and I can't help but feel protective as her eyes widened when she takes notice of my baby.

What does she want.

" Is hij een jongen of een meisje"

"He's a boy."

" Maar ...... dat is een baby buik"

"Yes. He is pregnant."

"I-I understood baby. What is she saying about my baby? Who are you? What do you want? Why is she here."

"onbeleefd"

"Do you not talk English?!"

If she's using her language to insult my baby in secrecy, this is not going to end well. I want her out. She's insulted my baby and I will not have that.

"Yes pixie boy. Who are you?"

"Pixie boy?"

Who does she think she is?

"Question is, who are you and why are you here?"

"Im always here."

What?

I turn to Sheeran but he refuses to look at me. What is he playing at? What is she playing at? Who is this?

"Y-You are?"

"Yes. Always. Now who are you and why are you in Harry's apartment? and how the fuck are you pregnant, aren't you a boy?"

Why is she always in Harry's apartment? I don't understand and by the way Ed is face palming at the moment, I can't assume there is any good that's going to come out of this.

Harry moved here a couple of months ago.

He can't have a girlfriend yet.

He can't.

"Sheeran, who is this boy and why is he bigger than a whale."

No.

No I can't be.

I can't be a whale.

Harry said I wasn't.

Im not a whale. 

I'm not whale. 

I don't know why, but my cheeks feel wet. Who is this woman and why is she in Harry's apartment.

"Hey, watch it with your mouth. You hurt Louis feelings."

"Louis? Is that you? Your Harry's little lover boy?"

Hope sparks inside of me when I realize, she's heard my name before. Harry mentioned me, he must have. Theres no other way.

"You're the one who sent him all those little pathetic letters he threw in that cabinet? What, have you came to recollect them? Finally realize he wasn't going to write you back?"

She knows about the letters. What. How. My head is beginning to hurt with the amount of questions multiplying with each sentence she says and I want to scream.

Who is she and why does she know about the letters.

"What?"

"Harry doesn't like you pixie boy. Would have written back to you ages ago if he did. Anyways, if you don't mind, can you leave? Me and Harry have some unfinished business from last night we have to do. Take you and your probably strange ass baby back from where you came."

The woman settles her bag in the middle of table, takes a seat on one of the bar stools and I don't know what exactly I'm feeling inside. 

That's where he was last night.

 

[Harry's POV]

"Kim....Louis is Harry's boyfriend. And that baby is Harry's."

I stumble into the coffee table in the living room at the wrong time, and feel the intensity as Ed, Kim, and Louis all turn at the same time to stare me down as I interrupt their previous conversation.

I can't tell what Sheeran Is thinking because he's only scratching his head.

I can assume what Kim is thinking by the way her eyes are widened with her jaw already halfway to the floor.

But all I really care about is the boy who now has tears streaming down his cheeks, shaking his head, and burying his face in the palms of his hands.

Fuck.


	19. Chapter 19

"Louis, I can explai-"

"Just save it Harry."

I slap his hand away as he pretends to care about me the most convincing way possible. Its sickening really, to continue dealing with issues that should have already been solved.

There will be no more tears shed for that bastard and the only thing that should matter to me is the child I have inside. 

"Louis, it's not what it looks like."

"It's exactly what it looks like. So save your breath. Im done Harry........Im done."

What's the point of anything with him really? An Eleanor 2.0 expedition doesn't look to appealing if Harry's the prize. I shouldn't have to compete and im sure not throwing myself under the bus for the boy who can't seem to grow up and make up his mind.

"What do you mean your done? I haven't done anything!"

"Really Harry. Really?"

I raise my head off the counter and glance between the blonde and him, green eyes and blue alternating, both hesitant with every look they steal from each other.

"What do you think I did?"

"Her."

It's a short and simple answer and I can't help but be surprised with his reaction. He frowns and so does she when he gags loudly, shaking his head like a dog with wet ears.

"Louis, Im not cheating on you. Why would I cheat on you?"

"I dont know Harry. Why'd you do it all those times before?"

 

The presence of Harry's friends is beginning to make me uncomfortable, but I dont regret exposing him for what he really is. From the corner of my eye, Sheeran is glaring at him and the woman just stands still with her pursed lips. I can see Harry swallow his words down hard and I know he knows im right.

"I-I fucked up okay. I fucked up back in Cheshire. B-But this is a new me......And I dont.....Im not going to be unfaithful."

The woman cackles and I feel no fear when I stare her down. There is nothing amusing going on.

"Please don't. Just stop. I know you were with her last night and I really don't want to talk about this. Im tired and I just want to rest before I leave."

"Leave?"

I don't answer, and continue to get off my stool, the chair a little to high off the ground for my liking. Sheeran comes behind me and thankfully helps me down.

"L-Leave? Louis for fucks sake, I didn't cheat on you!"

Ignorance.

I walk towards the fridge and pull a bag of peanut m&ms bag out laying on the middle shelf. I no longer want to hear more lies that will contribute to my irritated mood.

The doctor said I shouldn't be under stress.

"Louis, please. you have to believe me!"

Harry's pathetically walking beside me now and there's really nothing to say. He tries to place a hand on my hips but once again, I pull away, smacking his hand away harshly.

"Kim, please tell him we didn't sleep together. Tell him"

I glance over at the woman and she's shaking her head with a stupid grin on her face. I hate her.

Finally, I manage to get my snack and a glass of water undisturbed and I begin to head out the kitchen room area. This conversation is officially done and I'm going to find a way back out of here if its the last thing I do.

"Pixie boy."

The woman chirps and I refuse to turn around, not wanting to provide her with the satisfaction of my downfall.

"Pixie boy, don't be so upset. As much as I hate to say it, your whipped man here is telling you the truth. Don't know why hes being such a bitxh about it though. Im way a better catch than you."

Something inside me makes my legs stop moving and I feel immensely hurt as I wish I hadn't. 

"Louis see. Believe me baby, its just you."

"Gross. You know what, im out. I'll talk to you later You asswipe."

I can hear the click of heels again sliding across the wooden floors and I dont know why a part of me wishes she hadn't just proven Harry innocent.

He can't be.

"Louis, believe me please, I'm begging you."

There's a sound of a door slamming shut, and I assume the blonde, blue eyed witch is gone.

"Sheeran, can you go out for a bit. I need to talk to Louis alone."

With my back facing them both, I don't know what Harry's friends response is. All I know there's a second door opening and closing in the living room and I can suddenly feel Harry's breath on the crook of my neck. The small little puffs of warm air make my body shiver and before I know it, he's in front of me, head tilted down so he can look into my eyes.

The green inside of his is soft and I'm sure mine are pitch dark blue, still feeling the anger rush in my veins. His breath hitches a little when I let my free hand collide against his cheek, putting all my feelings into one swift action.

He rubs his cheek with one hand and stares at me down again, although this time his emeralds are another darker shade of green.

I repeat my action again.

This time I put more effort into the swing and watch as Harry's face tilts to the side with the immense amount of force I put into it.

He brings his hand up and rubs again, moving one step closer to me in the process. 

His cheek is a fair shade of red.

But its not red enough.

He puts his hand down and I take the opportunity to swing again, watching as a growl comes out his mouth this time along with a faster movement of swinging his head back to face me.

The green is almost gone.

Its thrilling.

His chest is rising up and down, fast and repeatedly, nostrils flared as he tries to intimidate me from up there. I dont buy it.

I collide the palm of my hand against his cheek and feel as the anger inside of me releases better every time I watch his face bruise. What am im doing to him hurts a hundred time less than what ive felt with every time he's broke my heart and I know we both know that's the reason he hasn't stopped me.

And I do take advantage of it.

I swing again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And after the 15th slap, I can feel my cheeks tear stained and I can see his are too, eyes now pitch black while he grits his teeth.

I go for the 16th smack but this one is different. He grabs my arm inches away from his face and moves it until its restrained behind my back.

I gasp as I feel his other hand grab me by the back of my neck and pull me towards him, his lips smashing against mine into a full blown sloppy kiss I didn't know I needed.

"Are you fucking done now?"

Harry mumbles against my lips and tugs at the bottom one, making me moan with the sting. His grip on my arm loosens and I can't help but feel amused with his reaction after I use my chance to slap him again.

He pauses for a second before shaking his head and glaring back down at me. I pull my bottom lip in between my teeth as I giggle, feeling the weight lifted off my shoulders as he sweeps me off my feet.

literally.

His lips are attached to mine as he carries me back to his room and my glass of water falls on the way there. I hold on to my m&ms though, feeling a little hungry and definitely wanting to eat them later.

He kicks the door to his room shut and once again, were back to where we left off yesterday.

He places me down on the bed, my head resting on a pillow as he kneels in between my legs and begins to undress.

"I love you Louis. You have no idea."

One by one, his button up shirt becomes undone and all I can make out from crevice is the head of two birds on his chest with the same butterfly tattoo on his stomach for his sister. Gemma.

I look up in awe the way his muscles begin to flex while he takes off his shirt, the sight that comes next one i never expected. 

The room suddenly becomes Silent and I know its because my heart has stopped beating.

"W-What..."

I look up at Harry and I can't stop the tears rushing out my eyes quicker than Niagara falls. 

"H-Harry....I-is that..."

"Your name tattooed on my chest? Yes. it is......I have you right on my heart.....just where you belong."

I bring my hands up to my face as I try not to freak out the fact that right above Harry's chest, my name is written in cursive a little under one of the swallows.

I don't know what to say.

If this doesn't prove he really does love me,

what does?

"D-Do you like it?"

He leans down and tries to press his lips to mine but I pause him, letting my hand run over the text on his body. Im marked on his skin and its permanent, as if he wanted to keep me in his life.

The thought is mind blowing but more heart touching overall. 

"You're in my veins, Louis Tomlinson. You'll always be a part of me, no matter what happens."

He leans down again and I don't stop his time.

"You're my world."

he whispers against my lips and I surrender

every.  
single.  
last  
piece  
of  
me.  
********

"Fucking shit. Oh my baby boy. Oh my baby boy, how I've missed you."

I can see stars all around me as I feel the tip of Harry's big c0ck pressing against that spot inside me I haven't felt in so long. 

"L-Louis."

I look down and bite my lip as I feel the way his fingers are bruising the side of my thighs while I ride him in pure bliss. His finger nails dig into my flesh hard every time I lift myself off and slam back down with force, the baby, however, making it more difficult to ride him fast.

Harry's not complaining though and I glare at him everytime he looks up and smiles at the way I hold onto my stomach when he thrusts his hips up to help me out.

My attempts to take over fail soon enough, too tired to use my legs to lift me and the 7 pound child inside of me enough to ride some dick and of course I have to act if I dont want it as badly as I do, because Harry's amused face is mocking enough.

I would lean down and kiss him to wipe that look off his face but I can't, my belly in the way.

"Hey. You did good."

"Just shut up and make me come already."

Harry flashes his cocky smile at me and I can't help but feel flushed as I realize the disheveled curls, the drips of sweat rolling down his forehead, and rosy cheeks are because of me and our son.

He grabs on tighter and begins to slam upwards into me fast, his body having a lot of more stamina/ strength whatsoever to finish us off.

"H-Harry. Harrry. Harry."

My panting is embarrassing but Harry's looking at me like im a god.

"HarryHarryHarryHarryHarry."

The noise of the headboard slamming against the wall has now joined my harmony along with Harry's moans and there's nothing more perfect in the world.

"My god. Y-You look so beautiful Lou."

"HarryHarryHarryHarry Oh Oh Oh Harry Harry. Harryyyy"

" You feel S-So full of me and my baby. Feel so good Blue."

He lets go of my thighs and places his hands on top of mine while I hold on our to son. His huge palms make mine disappear on my belly and I pout at the size of my hands.

This would be so romantic if I wasn't bouncing on his manhood right now, but I know its the thought what counts.

I can feel my high coming and by the way Harry's throwing his head back, I know his is too.

"W-Wait. Wait Harry."

I cancel his movements when I feel that familiar sensation inside me take over, making grabby hands at packet beside him. He steadys his breath and looks to the pillow beside him, looking confused until he sees what I want.

What I need.

"You're kidding me right?"

"Harry please."

I stick my bottom lip out and make the best puppy eyes I can make.

"Its not me!!! Blame him."

I rub my belly and giggle as Harry throws his head back and groans before beginning to laugh.

"Oh my god, you're unbelievable."

He takes one hand off my stomach and reaches for the packet of m&ms next to his head, ripping it open with his teeth and handing it to me. I place it on top of my stomach and spread some of the chocolate candies on it, feeling thankful they're a little deformed so they dont roll off. 

I spread the colors and begin to eat them, my body feeling a little better with each one that goes down.

When I look back at Harry, his smile is from ear to ear, and he's shaking his head.

"What?"

"I think im going to have to call our son peanut, seeing as how many m&ms you've fed our child."

"Peanut?........"

"Yes, our little peanut."

Harry chuckles and I can't help but do so to, finding the name so fit for our baby because that is what he craves the most.

"Peanut. I like it."

I offer Harry a m&m and he takes a red, putting it in his mouth before shaking his head and smiling again. He laughs and I grow concerned.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that."

"Because you're the most beautiful being in this world."

Harry chimes and I can't help the way my brain automatically knows to make my eyes roll sarcastically. He laughs louder and I join him.

"Anddddd.... because you've just interrupted sex seconds before our 0rgasm because you wanted some m&ms."

"It was peanut, I swear!"

Harry shakes his head, dimple out and takes one of my hands up to his face. He presses a kiss to my knuckles and I smile down at him, ignoring the way a part of me is turned on with the feeling of Harry's still hard swollen dickk stuck inside my arse.

"J-Just wait a sec. Im almost done with the m&ms he wants. Im sorry."

"There's no rush blue. We have forever."

Harry takes the last m&m off my belly and puts it in his mouth, sitting up the best in the process while he grabs a hold of the back of my neck. He pulls me down forward and smashes our lips together, that yet none eaten red m&m in his mouth suddenly being pushed Into mine with his tongue so I could give it to our son.

"My baby birds."

Harry giggles against my lips and I can't help but feel that the world has suddenly settled in its right place.


	20. Chapter 20

"But this would look lovely above the baby's crib. I mean, I think Peanut would like it way better if he woke up in the middle of the night and saw a cow jumping over the moon. It'll help him sleep better."

I justify why I'm throwing the third sticker decoration pack in the cart and feel relieved when there's soft chuckles behind my back, Harry's warm breath hitting my skin as he presses a kiss to my cheek.

"Lou, peanut isn't going to know what the hell a cow is when he's born. is it really necessary?."

"He will once I tell him. Yes, it is."

I scurry away and head towards the next isle of baby merchandise, hoping to get away with all this cool stuff peanut should /needs/ to have. 

"Come back here you little spoiled twat. If you think I believe peanut really needs 5 different packs of 10 different colored pacifiers, you are wrong!"

I laugh at Harry as he tries to catch up to me with the two carts he's pulling along. Such an fail attempt.

"Yes he does, one for everyday of the month. Maybe one day hes feeling a little blue, so voila!, he'll use the blue pacifier."

I skip around and Harry rolls his eyes, shaking his head when the second cart crashes into a basket of baby scrubs.

"Louis, hold on a minute. and no, we can't spoil our child at such a young age. Put 4 of the packs back on the shelf."

"Keep talking Styles and ill add 4 more."

I wave Harry away and begin to look through the furniture section, finding a white wooden one with a gate pretty simple and perfect for peanut.

"Harry, I want this one."

I point at the crib and he nods his head, to which I blow him a kiss and write the number of product code down on the sticky note one of the employees gave us. They're supposed to help loading the items onto Harry's friends truck when were done shopping, and it seems they've been looking at us through cameras by the way everytime I write an item down, the same product is being rolled to the cash register.

"Louis, im serious about the pacifiers. put some back."

Harry finally manages to catch up and I roll my eyes, not seeing how a couple more of these little suckers will do any harm to our child.

"But Harry."

"We already have 17 different designed bottles in the cart too. The baby is going to need more milk than plastic. So put them back."

"But Harreeehhh."

"Louis, please."

Once I have the packets clutched to my chest, I feel an overwhelming feeling of rejection. 

Harry doesn't love me.

Harry doesn't want peanut to have nice things.

Why is Harry doing this to us.

"L-Lou? Lou are you crying?"

I look down and realize, Harry's probably right. Peanut doesn't need to be spoiled, he's been bad. He's made me fat and that's why Harry doesn't love me.

"No no no, I'm sorry Lou. I'm sorry, hold on."

Harry disappears and I realize, he can do that any day. One day hes going to leave and never come back because why would he. I'm ugly and fat and my feet are huge and

"Here baby, I-I got more pacifiers. Look, these have lions on them. Do you want these baby? Do you think peanut would like these?"

Harry has lots of different patterned pacifiers in his hands and wow, I didn't see these the first time we passed by.

"Ooo. I like the Elephant ones."

"Are you sure? You know what, lets just take all of them. Is that okay baby?"

Harry dumps the pacifiers in the cart and omg, peanut is going to love them!

"Oh my, yes! Look at them, they all look,so pretty!"

"You're so pretty."

I look away from the pacifiers and Harry's staring at me really weird. The lighting in the room must be bright because I can see little twinkles in his eyes and wow, I should really pay attention more.

"Thank you."

I walk /wobble/ up to him and press a kiss to his cheek, ignoring the dorky look on his face and turning so I can go to the next isle.

In between the isle im in and the next, Harry's voice is suddenly pulling me back when he takes an interest in a piece of furniture im sure we dont need.

"Lou, how about this?"

Harry's fingers are sliding down a wooden and cushioned item.

"A rocking chair? What for?"

Its a waste of money if you ask me. Peanut won't even be able to sit.

"It can be used for many things."

"Like what?"

~~~~~

[Eds POV]

After a hour long drive around town looking for those two idiots who jacked my truck, I find myself back at home where my vehicle is loaded with baby shit.

Taking Harry's Mercedes Benz out his garage was the last thing I wanted to do, but seeing as I needed to get an important message across to my best friend, I didn't know how long it would take to deliver it and I settled for my last resort.

I park his vehicle next to mine in the driveway and can't help but be confused on why all this stuff in the trunk is in Baby R Us bags. I was so sure Harry was going to pick his stuff up, like his cousin mentioned, but this all seems brand new.

After Harry disappeared while I was on the phone this morning, in my truck, he didn't give me the chance to explain he was on his way. But apparently he didn't need to know or probably got there soon enough to bring the stuff himself instead.

"Harry?"

I walk into the house and wonder why none of the bags haven't been unloaded yet. There is a small creak on the floor board and I groan mentally, hoping they're not repeating this morning's actions.

I walk past the living room and see an empty bag with a blue ribbon on the floor, yet nothing more. There's another noise and im assured now its coming from Harry's room.

Having caught them almost in the act the first time yesterday, and hearing them the second time today, I dont hesitate to knock on the door.

There's a few mumbles before I hear Harry shouting at me to come in. Slowly, I open the door wide and sigh in relief when I notice the bed is perfectly made.

I scan the room and notice there's something different, in the right corner of the room a new piece of furniture placed.

Harry is sitting down on the rocking chair with Louis on his lap, who has his head leaned back, eyes closed, and a blue blanket on his lap.

"Oh fuck, im sorry. I didn't know he was sleeping." I whisper in apologies for my interruption, and Harry chuckles, which I dont understand because hes right by his ear.

"Did you....uhh... need something?"

"Yeah, I needed to talk to you. B-But we can talk if you want when Louis wakes up." 

I whisper quietly as I can and Harry surprises me again, laughing a little louder.

"Oh Sheeran."

Harry rocks the chair forward with his feet and the sight of Louis waking up, eyes widening with his jaw drop is not what I ever expected.

"He's not asleep."

Harry rocks the chair backward and 

"Oh my god, are you two d-"

"H-Hazza. F-Fuck."

Louis lets out the highest pitched whimpers and looses grip of the blue blanket, the item falling to the floor sinfully. the sight of his pants around his ankles is the last thing I manage to see as I slam the door closed, hearing Harry's roaring laughter on the other side when i do.

"Naughty bastards!"

I shout as I walk away, heading back to the kitchen where I try to erase those images from my head.

\------

Harry walking into the living room while he struggles to buckle his pants is all I need to know to confirm my previous assumptions of what was going on in the room. There's sweat trickling down his forehead , which I would comment on any other time but now, just really want to confirm the call and leave before I interrupt any other love making sessions

He has that \look\ on his face when he drops himself on the couch, such cheeky smile that I really dont even want to look for much longer.

"So....you wanted to tell me something?"

"Yeah. For fifteen minutes now."

My best mate laughs and lays back down on the couch, sighing.

"Sorry....Louis likes things slow sometimes."

"God man, I dont want to know!"

I slap Harry's legs and he bursts out into a fit of giggles, ignoring the hint of seriousness im sure is somewhere in my voice. I really / dont /want to know.

"What is it then?"

Harry yawns and my lord, its only five in the afternoon, he can't be ready for bed already.

"You left your phone here you dumbarse. I picked up and got a earfull of your cousins screams, though he realized soonly after it wasn't you and asked where you were at so he could bring you the remainder of Louis baby stuff. I was going to tell you he called but when I looked out the window, you were long gone in my truck. But, you picked it up already right?"

Harry startles me as he sits straight up with eyebrows furrowed, leaning in closer on the couch.

"What? Cousin? Who?"

"Uh...I dont know. Think your phone said.... Wilson?"

I take his phone out my pocket and he snatches it out of my hand before I can even offer it back. The gesture is rude, but there's better things to focus on, one being Harry's face scrunching up into what seems disgust.

"William."

"Is that what it says?"

"You talked to fucking William?!"

I can see Harry's breath suddenly becoming unsteady and the sight is scary as it is.

"I-I guess."

"Why the fuck would you answer my damn phone?! Its none of your business!"

"Well I thought it'd be important o-"

"What did you tell him?!"

"Well he wanted to know where you lived so I gave him the address so he can drop off the stu-"

"YOU GAVE HIM WHAT?!"

Harry jumps onto his feet and throws the phone onto the coffee table in fury.

What did I do wrong?

"The address, I-"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"He said he was your cousin I-I don't know.?"

"My god Sheeran, are you stupid?!"

"The fuck I do?"

Harry paces around the living room, fingers running through his hair and I become anxious, not realizing what I've done.

"What's the matter with you Styles?!"

"William. I-Im sure hes on his way."

"Wait, but I thought you already picked up Louis baby stuff? Isn't that what you have on the tru-"

"Williams not coming to drop off Baby Shit, Sheeran."

"Then, what?"

Harry glances over at the hallway and I assume he's looking for Louis, the only other being present. He taps his foot on the floor repeatedly and groans loudly, frustrated. 

He rests his forehead on the palms of his hands and shakes his head for a couple of seconds before looking around the room.

He looks back up to me and he glares for a moment before looking away.

"He's not coming to drop anything off Sheeran. He wants to take back Louis."

Oh

 

Ohhh.

"Styles,....Im sorry man. I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't, why would you."

Harry walks back in forth and suddenly disappears out of the living room. I follow behind him and find him by the door entrance, fetching two pairs of keys off the wall.

"What are you doin-"

"Call Kim. Tell her I need her to babysit my Mercedes for the weekend."

"Where are you going?"

Harry shakes his head and walks out the door leaving me behind and confused. I follow him out and see as he closes the hood of the car he brought Louis here with and opens the trunk of my truck.

"Harry, what are you doing?"

I receive no word as he passes by me back into he house and heads straight for his room. I understand why he's angry, but I didn't know who I was being put up against.

Harry slams the door open to the room and Louis, who was peacefully sleeping before, jumps into his awakening. Harry ignores him when Louis calls out for him and picks up the rocking chair along with the blanket. He walks out the room without a word and Louis rubs his eyes as he sits up from the bed.

"W-Whats going on?"

The smaller boy looks concerned but I bite my tongue, not wanting to get into more shit than im already in for not keeping my mouth shut. 

I shrug and Louis sighs, eyes locked at the entrance with a sad expression.

"Sheeran!" Harry screams and I excuse myself out the room.

Harry's standing right outside the bedroom door and it's safe to say, he looks crazier than the day he found out his Louis hadn't sent a letter.

"Were leaving."

The words roll off Harry's tongue so smoothly, they seem surreal as they wrap around my head. It takes me a while to process what he's saying, but soon enough, the suitcase hanging in one of Harry's hands is explanatory enough.

"You got me into this mess so now, help. I need you to drive your truck up to where we're heading since it has all the shit for Peanut."

Peanut?

Is that what they're naming the baby?

"Bu-"

"Dont ask questions, just do it."

"Harry, I don't understand."

"Im not letting them take Louis away from me."

Harry hisses and slams the suitcase to my chest. I grab a hold of it and say nothing as he walks past me back into the room where I can hear him talking to Louis.

Im standing in the middle of the hallway, and feel stuck to the floor as I try to process the fact that my seventeen year old best friend is actually running away with his fifteen year old pregnant boyfriend. Harry comes out the room carrying Louis bridal style, and I finally find the courage to walk behind them, feeling horrible as I realize im the reason why Harry's about to abandon his home.


	21. Chapter 21

"Are you sure you want to do this Harry? It seems like alo-"

"Fuck off. I do what I want."

I scribble my name across the sheet and drop the pen a little more dramatic then I should, not trying to prove a point what so ever. A mere look over my shoulder and I know this is what I want, what we so long have needed.

Closing the contract on top of the hood of the car, I know I've made the right choice.

For both of us.

On the doorstep stands the love of my life in awe, running his dainty fingers across all the surfaces of the house. He looks so puny compared to the building but what can I say, he deserves the best. A little more than this actually.

"Well Mr.Styles, that's all we have to do here for today.. The final, official statement, will come in the day of your birthday, when you finally turn 18, the age required here in America, where you'll able to sign it off as a legal adult. Once you sign, then its sealed. Congra-."

"Hold that thought for just a sec."

I dont look at Sheeran as I head away from the Real Estate agent, not needing any condolences or disappointing opinions. Louis is heading towards me, struggling with the weight of the baby as I can see, and I can't be more starstruck at the sight.

"Louis, baby, I have some news."

He's about to walk down the small staircase when I snatch him off his feet, swinging him slowly so he doesn't build up a need to hurl. 

Gladly he doesn't,

his white canines displaying when he tries to hide his giggles in my neck.

"What is it? Are we renting this one? It's a little big don't you think?"

"You dont like it?"

"I do! It's lovely but It seems to pricey an-"

"Say no more!"

I peck his lips repeatedly so he wont speak all the way to Sheerans truck. He shys away when he notices the lady staring, but I cant seem to give any fucks, knowing she is not a permanent thing in my life,

not like Louis.

Once I place him on the floor, he scurries behind me and away from the lady, memories flourishing in my head.

My little shy boy from the orphanage.

"Louis, this is Ms.Nya. She has something for you."

He entwines our hands by the back of my thigh and hesitantly, moves by my side, glancing between the middle age woman and I.

He stays quiet and politely smiles, probably not having much of a clue of what he's in for.

"Congratulations Mr.Tomlinson."

"T-Thank you. Me and Harry worked really hard on him."

The womans eyes widened and oh my fucking god Louis, are you ser-

"Louis, no! S-Shes not congratulating us on the baby, baby."

Sheerans on the sideline shaking his head and the woman looks appalled, fixing her collar and coughing awkwardly. 

"Oh...M Sorry."

I glance at him and watch as his cheeks turn rosy, the same color shade he has when im fu-

"I-Its fine Mr.Tomlinson. Congratulations on that too. But I was referring more to this."

Finally, the time coming a little later than expected, she holds up a pair of keys attached to a small tag. She extends her hand and uses her second one to grab one of Louis', placing them in the palm of his hands.

"You're now the owner of this house."

In that moment, everything feels so right. 

The way Louis eyes are seconds away from popping out of his sockets and his smile is about to rip his face in half, I know this is what I want.

"W-Wait. Wait what?"

"This is your brand new home Mr. Louis William Tomlinson. Mr. Styles here bought the property and signed it all under your name. Congratulations. Hope you are pleased as well as your incoming family."

Nya grabs the manilla pocket and nods for her departure, leaving me, a tear stained Louis and a third wheel currently messing up our grass.

I turn towards my love and he's shaking head, trying to speak while he laughs and cries at the same time. I bring my finger up to his lips and silence him, pressing our foreheads together.

I try to hold him close the best way I can, although peanuts in the way and keeping me from hugging the life out of him, which probably would happen anyway now if I tried.

"H-Harry, y-you didnt."

"I did."

"But wh-"

"Because I'm serious. I want you. I want this. For us."

Another kiss, I press upon his cheek and he looks up at me with so much innocence, eyes sparkling under the setting sun.

"okay."

"okay?"

"okay."

He nods his head and looks up at me, before stealing a kiss away on his tippy toes. Peanuts weight catches up to him fast, his whole body surrendering into my arms so I can hold him, just like it needs to be

"Okay. I want this too."

\---------

It took One hour to receive all the delivery trucks sent from my home, filled with clothing, bills, and a certain someone's special letters. The great thing about buying home's like these in L.A., is that many already come with the furniture and appliances, making our move fast and efficiently the way I wanted to it to be.

Hand in hand, I walked Louis through our home, watching the way his face lit up with every room we went into. 

"This is the living room."

"Are you sure? cause This seems like a whole house within a house."

"is that a bad thing? I just want the best for my love."

I peck his cheek and he giggles into my ear, the sound music to my ears. 

"no.... but it still seems like a little too much. a house on the edge of beach Harry.....don't think I dont know how much you probably wasted on thi-"

"Heeey."

I halt and grab him carefully to turn him my direction. He looks a little guilty, but I feel that's a good sign. He's not in it for the money, and it's reassuring to know he's not that type of 'interested' lad.

"This was not a waste."

Bringing his knuckles up to my lips, I place a kiss on each hand, ending with one on his forehead.

I guide him throughout the rest of the house and I know how his whole perspective about our home changes when i show him the backyard, that's feet away from the actual beach and has a pool.

"b-but I'll be able to teach him how to play footie, how fucking cool is that!"

"language Louis. peanut can hear you."

"like if he doesn't hear you in bed."

Louis winks and im charmed.

We step back inside and he heads toward the other side of the house we haven't seen. Upstairs is a extra living room and bedroom, along with an shower. But the first floor is what I feel we will spend most of our time in. Peanuts room is right next to ours, and I know Louis notices when he sees a small blue ribbon on the closed door. 

He glances between the entrance to ours and Peanuts, turning back to me and squealing really loud while he opens the door wide.

I may or may have not specifically chose this house because it already came with a decorated room for a child.

Im not painting another one, that's for sure.

He opens the door and a medium sized, blue painted room appears, with a simple wooden crib and drawers.

"Dont worry, I'll take this out tomorrow and put what we bought instead."

"And I can put the stickers right?!"

Louis spins around the room and I wonder, why did it take me so long to realize this is what I want for the rest of my life.

"Yes darling."

"He's going to love it here."

"I hope you will too."

I walk behind Louis and wrap my arms around my loves, pressing a kiss to his hair. He leans his head back and I take this as an advantage to swoop down and steal a kiss.

 

I succeeded.

Louis giggles as he walks out Peanuts room and on to the next, our bedroom, which to me is the best part of the place. He walks in and halts at the entrance, from what I can see, inspecting the room.

He's quiet, and if our bodies weren't so magnetic, I would think he hated this room the most.

There's two chairs and a small coffee table by the window, which extends through most of the room and is pure glass, giving a perfect view of what lays beyond the oceans horizon.

"T-This is our bedroom?"

My body reacts immediately to all the signs, self control lost within seconds. I press my chest to his back and I can hear the sharp breath intake. I lean down to hum in his ear, inhaling his unique and sweet scent that run downs his neck.

"T-There's no TV."

"We wont need it, will we?"

Letting my hand run down his back slowly, I find a way into his briefs. I dont hesitate to let my finger slip between his cheeks and begin to tease at his entrance. He's a withering mess in my hold and grinds himself down on my finger as I refuse to let it slip in.

"P-Please. PLEASE Harry."

"Wouldn't you rather watch TV?"

I slip the tip of my finger in and use my thumb to massage all the walls around as he begins to whimper, aching for touch, aching for my touch.

"N-No. Please Harry. Please."

"Please what?"

Im caught off guard as Louis manages to take my hand out of his briefs and turns around, giving me hiss full front. He already looks wrecked and not even my full finger has been inside of him. He backs away from me and I begin to worry, not finding this response very positive.

My worries soon end, watching mesmerized as my love strips from his clothes and leaves his briefs on. He looks gorgeous and peanut doesn't take his beauty away not even for a second.

His thighs are way bigger than they used to be as well as his arse and his cheeks. I make my way over and fight my desire to drool over how thick he is, Peanut bringing many extra curves to the package.

Slowly, I unbutton my flower patterned awful shirt and throw it to the floor, making a mental note to discard it later. Sitting with his legs spread apart, my destination first is to stick my face in between those beautiful legs and wreck him with my tongue. However, we take a detour and not one I'm very pleased with.

"W-Wait. Is your friend here? Sheeran?"

Oh Louis.

"Louis, I know your H0rny and all but I will NOT do a Fours0me. I'm barely managing to get over the idea of a threes0me and especially one with my son."

Louis face is one of amusement and before I even know it, im laughing as well. He slaps my hand away playfully as I try to caress his cheek and he chuckles quietly, shaking his head.

"That was really not necessary or a great sight to picture. I just don't want him to walk in. That's all."

"What? Princess doesn't like being watched being the naughty boy he is?"

"N-No. Just want to be daddy's. All daddy's."

The air in the rooms gotten thicker now

 

and so has my friend down south.

 

\--------

The view of the beach is such a beautiful sight at sunset in L.A. The colors mix between orange, red, yellow, and auburn, The water ripples calmly, and the ocean reflects the massive sun.

I could look at it forever, the windows not taking any beauty away from it just like peanut doesn't take it away from Louis.

Louis.

I stop watching the view and lower my head, taking a even better sight in front of me. My love is face planted on the mattress, hands tugging at the sheets besides his head. A pillow is right under his belly so he won't hurt peanut, and he has his back arched in the perfect degree for mankind. I move in and out of him slowly, hearing his cries of pleasure sound through the room like the next hit song.

I tighten my grip on his hips and pick up the pace as I feel my High coming, along with Louis hole clenching around me like it wants to suffocate the life out of me.

"Y-Youre. S-So. F--F-ucking tight. O-Oh baby yes."

"D-Daddy. D-Daddy feels G-Good. Y-Yes. P-Please"

Carefully, I kneel to rest back on my calves and bring Louis up with me, wanting to enjoy what im seeing.

We're both now facing the sunset, his head thrown back where my tattoo of his name lies. He rides me with his back pressed to my chest, bitter sweet moanss escaping mouth. I lean down and fall in love with the view of him, hair disheveled with sweat trickling down his face. He shines even when there's no light, that spark of hope everyone needs. I need.

I wrap my arms around Peanut and begin to thrust harder upward, the feeling of Louis now bouncing on my cockk triggering the last rush of adrenaline in my body.

"D-DaddyDaddyDaddyDaddy"

 

The sound of slapping wet skin is echoing through the room and thank god for no headboards this time.

"Gha.Ahh. D-Daddy loves taking care of his two baby boys. Daddy loves his boys ohhhhh."

With one hand on Louis stomach and the other now free, I use it to grab a hold of Louis jaw and turn it towards me. One glance of his radiant cerulean eyes and im gone, smashing our lips together as I spill Into him and he squirts all over the sheets. He's chanting my name against my lips as he rides his high all out while I feel ecstatic by the way my come is dripping out of his hole and down my thighs.

Our heavy breaths fill the room and I feel his body quickly give up on him, needing to rest because its not just him anymore. I pull out and move him to the clean side of the bed, grabbing a pair of clean sheets we haven't ruined yet.

He hums as I lift his head and slip a pillow under him, along with placing a cover on his body. Before I get the chance to, Louis grunts and lets out a choked laugh or sob. His face scrunches in pain but he's smiling, and I am utterly, truly, confused.

"Fucking Shit."

"Louis? Louis whats wrong?"

I take the cover off of him and notice he's hanging on to his stomach, the hairs on my neck rising than whatever is the fastest thing in the world.

"Dont tell me I fucked you into Labor. Oh No."

Louis lets out another laugh before whimpering and letting go of his stomach, reaching out to grab my hands.

what am I going to do?!

"Louis, what's going on? did your um....water broke or something?! are you going into a labor?! I need to call the hospital."

"Fuckii ng Shit, No! Just calm down. please. you're scaring me."

"Are you sure?! Louis I dont know, I think I need to call the doctor, what if this is bad for the ba-"

"Just shut up!!! and Look! or whatever."

Louis leads my hand back to his stomach and 

oh.

OH.

"H-Harry, this is Peanut. He says hi."

I feel a thump against the palm of my hands and this all seems surreal, this can't be happening. I glance between Louis and his stomach and he's laying down so sweetly like if is the most casual thing in the world, although what's happening here feels, 

like the best thing in the world.

There's another thump and before I realize it, there's tear stains landing on Louis skin.

"Magical isn't it?"

Louis whispers as his eyelids droopily close shut, sleep taking over him after a couple of minutes of me rubbing his stomach, trying to feel peanut again.

It seems when daddy sleeps, so does baby, so I take it into the matter of my own hands to make sure I sleep them with a little love.

I start with a kiss to Louis belly button, knowing my son is probably in there somewhere snoring softly just like my little Louis does and End our day with another kiss to Louis lips, that although he might not be aware of, means much more than he'll ever know.


	22. Chapter 22

The scent of Louis hair.

The scent of Louis face.

The scent of Louis skin.

The feeling of Louis hair.

The feeling of Louis back.

The feeling of Louis bump.

The feeling of Louis warmth.

The feeling of Louis.

All the things I would have expected to wake up to.

Not to an empty bed.

The sun is already out and bright as hell it is. Maybe I didn't think this very well through, but buying curtains wont be such a fuss.

I ruffle my hair and begin to step out of my bed, looking around for my pair of trousers. The only thing I see is the towels sitting in the chair at the exit of the room and well, I might as well.

Louis must be out exploring the house again, and I can't blame him for it. It's huge and just perfect for us in my perspective. We will be able to have a normal life here with normal, not dysfunctional, people. We can have our new beginning here, no distractions, no drama, no lies, no secrets, just us.

Louis' not out exploring the house.

Im about to sneak up behind him and whisper in his ear good morning when I see it. He has it.

He has it resting on his thigh and his leg is repeatedly tapping on the wooden flower. I stay quiet because I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't prepared for him to find out. 

As he turns around and looks me straight in the eye, lip quivering, I know he did.

Fuck.

"I-I can explain."

My heart begins to race in my chest and he shakes his head, throwing my cell phone straight at me. He misses but im sure it would have hurt less than knowing he meant it.

"Harry Styles, You're unfucking believable."

"Louis please."

"I dont want to hear it Harry. Not anymore. Im done. Im Done."

"Louis, you CAN'T."

"You're NO ONE TO ME to tell me what I can or can't do."

At one point in time, those words would have been the same ones I wanted to hear but not anymore. The bond is now broken and I can't help fear that was the only reason why we were ever together. It wasn't imaginary though, I could feel it. But I can't speak for him.

"Louis, you have to listen to me please. I-Its not what you think."

"Are you sure because those messages were pretty clear to me."

He stands up from the living room chair and I feel my worst nightmare has begun. He's looking at me with so much disgust I can't help but feel intimated for the first time in years.

It is clear, he won't be taking my side in this battle and it hurts because the only other side left is him.

"But Edwa-"

"He fucked up too. You all did."

Louis shakes his head and begins to walk away, the hint of hope now fading faster than fire in a room with no oxygen. I can feel my heart almost thumping out of my chest and I respond immediately, walking in Louis steps as I rationalize a million ways to beg for my forgiveness.

I was a victim an all this too.

"Louis just please, wait."

Louis walking out of the room as fast as he can, although Im pretty sure I can get farther than he with one huge step. It shouldn't be as amusing as he waddles away, and it isn't when he turns around and raises a lamp decor in the air.

"Lo-"

"Don't fucking come near me!"

"Louis, please. Let me explain."

"Explain for what Harry. It's obvious this, me and you, is never going to work out. You lie to me over and over and I've had about enough."

"It wasn't my truth to tell."

"And it wasn't yours to keep either."

My palms are sweating as I grip onto my towel that's threatening to slip off from my hips. The reaction I expected when the truth came out wasn't this, but honestly, I was never planning to tell him at all. 

And I guess it was the wrong decision to make.

Louis puts the lamp down and shakes his head repeatedly, making me nauseous, especially with the amount of tears rolling down his eyes now. He's going through hormones, I UNDERSTAND, but that should be me in his place and yet, I can't help but feel this is all just a dream.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Louis speaks and there it is. I dont feel sadness or sorrow, pain or rejection. I feel angry. I feel frustrated. I feel empty. 

Yet he's the one crying.

"I had to get you here somehow, Louis. I only apologize for using it against you."

"Only?"

Louis scoffs and my temper is beginning to run out of fuel. I should be the last one in this room being accused or glared at. 

Is it that wrong to use every arm against the world to fight for what you love?

"If you think im going to apologise for the truth, you're out of luck. Why should I pay the price for your mother's lies."

"She's still your mot-"

"SHE'S NOTHING TO ME."

It wasn't supposed to come out as a yell, but it did. I can't take my actions back and that's the cold hard reality of it. I bite my tongue as Louis visibly shudders and swallows whatever is burning to come out his mouth.

We stand there in silence for what seems eternity but I know it hasn't been, Louis still standing here like he's waiting for something.

The truth it must be, but I don't see what the point is of me saying it. Its true. It's always been true. We've been two fools played in the same game and instead of standing united, we stand on the opposite side of the fence.

"H-Harry, I know how hard it must b-"

"You don't know a thing Louis."

"You shouldn't have used it to get me here Harry, I would have came still if you jus-"

"Do you really think I'm stupid enough to believe that?!"

"It would have been nice to know for once you trusted me."

Louis is trying to turn the tables and it enrages me he doesn't see how much fucked up shit is going on.

"B-But You lied to me."

"And he didnt?!"

"But I trusted you Harry!! THAT message was very clear. You brought me here as the white flag to wave in a victory battle."

"That was my anger talking Louis for fucks sake."

"It doesn't seem like it."

"Did you not read what he texted me! He started ! He joked around about taking you back and leaving me here with nothing just like I've always had!!"

"But you continued the conversation and objectified me Harry! I am a human being, not a prize between you and Edward! You two had the opportunity to act like famil-"

"Don't you dare say it."

"I don't care what you are or aren't Harry, you'll always be my b-"

"I am not your brother Louis Tomlinson. I never was."

There's no need to sugarcoat it anymore. With all my cards on the table, I state it as it is and ignore the fact Louis looks like a child who just had his candy taken away from.

All my childhood has been a lie.  
All my life has been a lie.  
My mother has been a lie.  
My cousins have been a lie.  
My aunts.  
My uncles.  
My family.

Everything.

The air is supposed to be lighter but all i can feel is it suffocating me. Louis grips the edge of the doorframe and I forget what just happened, more focused on Louis who's trying to hold on from falling

"H-Harry, I-"

I ignore my towel falling on the floor as I leap towards Louis seconds away from falling to the floor.

"Harry I-"

"I got you."

There's a part of me who still loves this boy endlessly no matter what he is to me and I can see the same thing inside him as he looks up at me from his long eyelashes as I carry him bridal style to the bedroom.

I lay him down and he begins to sniffle, eyes watering as he takes it all in. I cover him with the sheets and he rests back on the pillow covering his face. 

He's shaking his head behind his hand mask and if I could, I would do so too.

"This is real, isn't it?"

he whispers and I feel a sting inside me as I admit the truth.

"Afraid so."

\-------------

Louis rests his back on the headboard of the bed, with his legs stretched out, uncovered. He has a pillow on top of peanut while he mixes the hot tea I took off the kettle a few minutes ago with a spoon. He takes it with no sugar, and I feel the 'because you dont need it, you're sweet as you are' aching to roll off my tongue, but this isnt the time, and I withdraw.

I place a couple of sugars in mine as I stir next to him on the bed, sipping on it as we both stare out into the beautiful L.A. afternoon beach. 

"Since when did you know."

The question doesn't take me off guard, knowing this conversation was bound to come up sooner or later. I can feel my hands are beginning to shake and I put the teacup down on my lap. 

It doesn't feel right to face it, but maybe this what I was really running away from. I take a deep breath and feel a little weight lifted off my back as Louis rubs his petit hand down my back and pats it.

"Hours before we left on the plane."

He turns away from the ocean and so do I, knowing there isn't any good trying to hide it anymore. Louis was right, I should have trusted him. There's nothing to hide anymore. There's nothing worth trying to hard anymore. Louis takes my hands in his and I know he's here for me, just like I've never been.

"I was never planning to bring you here in the first place."

It took me 20 mins on the plane to make the first one up and by the look on Louis face, I can tell it was really a good one. He looks confused and It's disappointing to know I can probably go down in history for telling the most lies.

"In the cafeteria, I didn't get to escape Nurse Jones."

"Stacy?"

I nod my head and he turns to put his tea down. Theres a sudden hint of interest and I can surely why.

"She saw me peeking at them obviously, and soon as mum and .....he left, she came to me straight away. She began telling me how sorry she felt that my boyfriends mom nor brothers accepted me into the family and that was the first eye opening clue."

I can feel my stomach beginning to do flips but I take deeper breaths to calm myself, not wanting to freak Louis. He should be stress free, not living the life of the Kardashians.

"I asked her what the hell was she talking about, Edward and William just the shitiest cousins to you and she replied with something along the lines of, 'dont tell louis, but those two are actually his brothers. They bring him to the doctor for all his check ups and are just the sweetest. I think its wonderful they look after him but just wonder why they dont tell him.'"

Her delighted face is still engraved in my head as she spoke the words, and I dont think I will ever get over the fact they were better brothers than I ever was.

"S-She knew? How?"

"I dont know. I just remember walking out of there with the most wrecked train of thought. I-I didn't head towards the house right after I got out the hospital."

Memories flash in my eyes and the sound of a loud buzzing rings through my ears. The walls are gray and dull, and her eyes widened at the sight of me.

"That day after the DNA Test when we took you to see your mother, Haley said something to me after I made you leave the room."

Louis next to me tenses and I can hear under his breath as he murmurs 'mummy', but I decide to leave it unnoticed, not wanting to get distracted from the truth any longer.

"I confessed to her that day of you and I, and blamed her for being the reason we had fell for each other even though it was wrong. Instead of screaming at me me how disgusting I was for being with my brother.......she told me to fight for you. Screamed at me to come back because she had some things left to say an-"

"She told me to contact you too and i wrote you it in-."

"The letter."

I nod and watch as Louis eyebrows furrow.

"I remembered your letter after I got out the hospital and found myself walking into the prison half an hour later. "

This shouldn't affect me as much it should, but I can feel my heart beginning to hurt now. I shouldn't be feeling this way, they were nothing to me. They've lied to me all this time. 

All my life has been a lie and I'm forced to deal with all of this pain now. No. I won't feel pain. They dont deserve it.

"I never killed my twin brother in the womb because I was never in Anne's womb in the first place. It was all a lie, all a cover for god knows what. Haley said you, Edward, and William are full blood brothers, and the twins were actually Will and Ed. Your Dad and Anne were together 2 years before I was born but James left straight after, not wanting anything to do with her or the twins. Anne apparently couldn't take the pain and gave them to ....your Aunt Meredith. I don't remember much but apparently when i came around, I was two. My dad....he left me too with Anne. I didn't think of it much until now, but I never remembered my two years before I got there, obviously bc I was a baby. all I remember was two bigger kids around me all the time who were apparently my cousins. Your dad came back around when I was 3, made you and thats when you were kidnapped. Haley kidnapped you bc she knew what a dysfunctional family you were Being born into. My mom told her everything, not having anyone else to talk to, but apparently she didn't know the man that had left Anne and the twins was James. She just thought she was being cheated on but soon after she put all the pieces together, she realized what a big mistaken she had done. Gemma was Your fathers too but....you know how that ended."

My mind is a big jumbled mess and Louis seems shaken up is as well. 

Haley had a point.

"T-Thats. That's not possible."

"I thought so too. After she told me, I just. I went home. I rummaged through my mom's room for anything that could prove her wrong but all I found was my blood test I took that day with you instead. I-It wasn't a match. I-I didn't match Anne or James. D-Didnt match you."

I grip my thigh remembering going down the results and feeling betrayed with all the negatives running down the sheet.

"It was hopeless Louis. I-I would end up loosing the battle in the end. I was not Anne's son and to put a restricting order against me would have been the easiest thing to do for your mum. She wanted to keep us apart and we all know the truth would come to light one day. How much longer do you think it would have been until she told us the truth and she sent me away forever? It was after that, then, that i decide to pack all our stuff and come to L.A. I couldn't loose you or peanut. You two were the only family I had left."

Whoever said the truth hurts but lies kill, must have never been surrounded by 'family' like mine. It was the alternate of it really, and I felt embarrassed to admit how deep down I had sinked.

"H-Harry, you'll never loose us."

Im caught off guard as Louis climbs over my lap and presses his lips to mine, shaking his head. The moment is bitter sweet but it's what I need. I only need my love and my son, nothing more.

He pulls away and I can feel his stare, almost as if he knows everything inside me. My mask is falling apart and he's the reason why it sheds.

"I-I saw he called you that same night. Did he-"

"He just confirmed what I already knew........Said he knew since the beginning I was the abandoned child who got more attention and sent him and William away to live with his aunt. Has known all this time we were not really brothers, knew I wasn't part of their family, knew you were the only one who belonged there. He called and said he was on his way to take you back but I told him I wouldn't let him. That's why we're here right now. Sheeran gave him the address to the old apartment. I-I dont want you to go Louis.

Please don't go. Please."

I crash my lips against his and feel as the last piece of my mask disappears. He knows it all, knows me all, and I know if he goes, there will be nothing more left of me.

"Please."

I whisper and ignore how pathetic I must look desperately kissing him with tears rolling down my cheeks. If I do, he doesn't acknowledge it, wrapping his arms around my neck and shaking his head.

He lets out a small sob as he kisses me back and I caress his back while I use my other hand to comfort our child. 

He pulls away first and I use my fingers to delicately move the fringe off his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes I fell so deeply for. His eyes are swollen and puffy, the white in his eyes, pink with all the crying and his eyelashes are soaked. He smiles, and it all seems to fade away, the crinkles by his eyes appearing and making me remember which Louis is the one I want forever.

"E-Ethan. That will be his Middle name. Fancy picking out his First?"

Louis speaks and I'm starstruck, not realizing what I did to deserve such an amazing human being. 

I reply back to him his Last name will be Styles and I find it amusing when he thinks I'm talking about the baby.


	23. Chapter 23

\-------------------  
Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up,  
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough,  
How come we don't say I love you enough,  
Till it's too late, it's not too late,  
*  
Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come,   
We could make a feast from these crumbs,  
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun,   
So if your life flashed before you,  
What would you wish you would've done,  
*  
We only got,  
86,400 seconds in the day,  
To turn it all around or throw it all away,  
We gotta tell 'em that we love 'em,  
While we got the chance to say,  
Gotta live like we're dying,  
*  
And if you're plane fell out of the skies,  
Who would you call with you're last goodbyes,  
Should be so careful who we let fall out of our lives,  
So when we long for absolution,  
There'll be no one on the line,  
*

You never know a good thing till it's gone,  
You never see a crash until it's head on,   
All those people right when we're dead wrong.

You never know a good thing till It's gone.  
\----------------

The same The Script song played on my iPod shuffle that warm, Thursday morning. Crack of dawn filled with hectic, frenzy, startling sounds that buzzed to everyone's ears. 

Hitting the snooze button, I crawl out of bed and glance over my shoulder as the blue eyed boy is laid sound asleep with the blanket down to his waist. His naked and tanned tatted body was so fit and attractive, I felt horrible even gaping at the sight, knowing it was taking every single drop of self control inside of me to stop me from pouncing on him.

That beautiful face masked more than I ever thought it would.

I wrap a towel around my naked body and head towards the back patio, snatching a beer bottle on my way out. The view is breath taking this morning again, and the blue at the end of the horizon resembles Louis own orbs. 

Settling back on the cushion chair, I throw my legs over the drinks table and enjoy my quiet peace alone, reminiscing those wonderful memories I wish I could relive over and over.

Memories such as having Louis squirm under me while I sucked on what he called "Not woman breasts.", which surprisingly, weren't as big as I had expected, but still perfect for his petit size, and his high, whiny voice.

Memories such as ending up painting the room a different shade of blue because the one on the wall wasn't the one he preferred, and seeing the way he lit up when I did not put up a fight for it because I agreed.

Memories such as hearing Louis complain he wasn't going to pose like those pregnant chicks with only a bra and their stomach sticking out at a photo shoot I had arranged for us, which he didn't at the end, but didn't mean he said no to the whole idea of it.

Memories such as receiving the first shots of our photoshoot where Louis wore my t-shirt, obviously too big for him, and his little belly sticking out at the bottom. The piece of clothing resting on top of it while my arms were wrapped around both my boys, Louis laughing and nuzzling his face in my neck and I looking down, genuinely, happily, at peanut.

Memories such as Louis slipping one of the small prints out into the main slot of my wallet, where every time I opened to take out my credit card or show my ID, the first thing I would see was our little family.

Memories such as Louis laid out on the sofa a couple of weeks before the assumed arrival of our child, unable to even walk anymore and in blissful heaven with his packet of m&ms around him while he watched cartoons.

Memories such as moving a mattress into the living room because my decision of not placing a tv in our bedroom was the worst idea ever /supposedly/he said/ when we weren't doing what the room was meant to be used for./ 

Memories such as hearing the stories behind our picks for our sons name, Ethan in his case, being the only true friend he had in his first year of school when he still lived with James and Haley. That friend he had never forgotten and would always be thankful for because of that shared chocolate chip cookie at recess after he'd gotten bullied by two mean boys.

Memories such as the last time I remember genuinely smiling, which was 11 months ago, when things hadn't taken such a turn.

I felt a cold hand behind me suddenly touch me and unintentionally flinched, although knowing who's presence it was. Both his hands then were placed on either side of my neck and he began to slowly rub, his massages way better than I wished they were.

I threw my head back and he took the opportunity to press his lips to mine, I rewarding him back for his kind actions. He let go and walked around the chair, throwing himself in my lap and wrapping his arms around my neck, deepening the kiss. I allowed it and let myself go as he took control of both of our bodies, attacking my neck and sinking his teeth into the skin. 

He stepped back and got off my lap, pulling me off my seat so I could stand on two feet. He took my place in the chair and eyed me up and down before yanking my arm down enough to pull me on top of his body. I straddled him and let myself go as he attacked my neck, hands held behind my back while he gave me and I gave him what we both needed.

Its said, its never good to mourn alone, so together we shared our pain,using each other for distraction of what had became reality.

"F-Fuck. E-Edward."

\-----[11 months has passed since last chapter]-----

"So, what's on the agenda today?"

"None of your business."

I stuffed my mouth with cereal as Edward smirked at me from across the breakfast table. I didn't know what he was thinking, but then again, I really didn't want to, knowing it was useless to me either way. 

I hated how desperate he was to try and play the boyfriend card on me every time after some platonic misbehavior. He didn't understand, permanent was no longer on my radar, or maybe he did, just using it against me like everything else

"Harry."

"what."

"Why are you always so damn rude after we ha-"

"Because I don't want you to get the idea I'm into you. I never will. No strings attached Edward."

I take another spoonful and watch as his smile grows wider, so much mock in one action its not even funny.

"Don't you think I know I'm not the one you want?"

"I don't really care what you think."

"Of course you dont. What you see is what you get. And in terms of Louis, you know I'm the closest thing you have."

Edward shrugs his shoulder across the table and its days like these I regret ever thinking this could work out.

"You're wrong. William looks like him too."

"But Williams not willing to do anything with you. So stop acting like a dickhead."

"I will once you do too."

Edward throws one of his utensils at me and I dodge it, glaring at the table by myself.

"Im serious Harry, you're not the only one who was affected by al-"

"I don't want to hear about it Edward. Just be quiet and let me eat my breakfast in peace for once."

"Harr-"

"Im serious, shut up."

Edward doesn't know the difference between a mess around and a real relationship, and it's beginning to cause problems. trying to mix in with my love life is the last thing he should be doing, but it seems he'll never get that through his thick skull.

I subtly glance at him as he gets up from the table and begins to scan my fridge door, eyes coming across my calendar and small smirk once again forming on his face.

Fuckin-

"Oooooo. Looks like someone's got a little date today."

"Stop looking at my shit Edward."

He rolls his eyes at me and waves me away, although he's the one walking. He sits back down on the table and continues to smile, which is really annoying me right now and making me want to climb over this table and punch him right in the face.

"Nathan's gonna loveeeee the beach."

"And you're gonna loveeeee the sight of my house's exit. Now if you can please excuse yourself, that would be amazing."

"Oi! You arse, I'm serious. With a attitude like that, im pretty sure Nathan would rather have a date with me."

"Quit your shit and leave Ed. Im not messing around, don't even dare."

 

Edwards laughing out loud now and im currently wondering where did I leave my headache pills. 

"Im kidding, I know how much you love him. If you dont mind,.I will be leaving now."

"Great, how thoughtful of you."

"And I'm stopping by to see Louis on my way home. If that's okay with you?"

I dont even understand if that's supposed to be a question or not, but I just scowl back, not missing that he might be shoving my pain in my face.

"Im sure he'd rather not see you. You"ll annoy him."

Edward gets up from the table, and puts his dish in the sink, his half eaten cereal still in the bowl. He shakes his head as he walks past me but I decide not to acknowledge it, or his little sigh while he is a few feet away from the door.

"I'll say hi to him for you."

"Don't even bother."

I get up from my seat and throw carelessly my cereal bowl into the sink. My morning has been ruined and its all thanks to him, Edward not knowing the limit to how much of him I can actually handle.

"Have fun today with Nathan!"

If he truly meant it, maybe I would feel the meaning behind it more. He shuts the door and I'm left with clouded thoughts of a million things, one included the blue eyed boy who just left and the other who is a couple of miles away.

I walk back into the kitchen and begin to prepare the meal for my little "date" today or whatever its called here in america for the term I'm referring to. I begin with making some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and before I know it, im packing a whole picnic.

\------------

Although I've stared at the California sun at the end of the sea more than the times I've looked in the mirror, I decide me and Nathans first date will be held at the beach. My backyard is a beach so I pay no parking ticket, leading Nathan to the back when everything is ready and a blanket has been settled down in the sand.

Under the shade, Nathan sits with me and I begin to tell him about the long journey of my 19 years and he surprises me when he turns out, to be a good listener. It's not easy to open with anyone about issues and although he'll probably never understand what ive been through, Im glad to have him.

The sandwiches I made turned out delicious and by the way he kicked his lips at the taste of them repeatedly, I knew he liked them too.

One of my favourite parts of the day was when we got the chance to go into the beach at the end, where we both sat together and watched as the sun slowly vanished, while we stuck the tip of our toes into the water.

We laughed at how tickling it felt and in the end, we called it a night as I placed a kiss on his cheek. Edward was right about me loving him, but it wasn't to the point where I could give him all the credit for pointing it out. It was a no Brainer.


	24. Chapter 24

"Where are you going?"

The same voice I have been waking up to for the past 11 months sounds behind me as I'm getting ready to walk out the door. There's fingers on my shoulder and I pull away, not seeing the necessity of being touched. 

Once I turn, I catch sight of Edward rolling his eyes, acting as if this is the first time. 

"None of your bus-"

"Are you going to go see him?"

Him.

My mind goes blind to everything but him, the way he looked the last time I saw him. I can't stop once ive started and I feel the inside of my chest suddenly being pressed together until I'm emotionally shattered. 

Fate has so long been my frenemy and there is suspicion to what role Edward plays in all of this. I dont understand if its concern or if its mockery, and I conclude the best thing to do now is expect the worst.

"Im not going to fucking see him."

"Then where are you going?"

"None of your business."

"Harry, you have to let go."

There it is again, those five words I've heard numerous amount of times from every single person ive came across.

"The more you hold on, the less you're going to be able to give to Natha-"

"This is none of your concern Edward. Stay out of it."

"Harry trust me, I kno-"

"Trust you? Really?"

It's not that I can blame what happened on Edward or William, but they sure as hell play a big role in how much time was wasted those painful 9 months.

"Ha-"

"Trust YOU?"

I scoff audibly and I can see his hesitant grudge once he knows what I'm about to say. Of course he knows, its the one thing I'll always use against him.

"You mean I should trust the person who knew since he was a child that I wasn't part of the family? I should trust the person who never mentioned I wasn't related to the only boy I've loved more than Nathan and just stood by while he watched us battle ourselves for wanting a love that wasn't forbidding at all. Trust the person who never had the guts to tell me that my real mother was dead and that woman who cared for me all those years kept me for pity. Trust the person who was willing to scheme with a woman who planned to keep me away from my love and child. Really? Is that what you think?"

Edward's red, pissed, dissed, or embarrassed. honestly, I don't care because no explanation can justify his actions, and his excuse of 'she was my mother' didn't seem good enough.

"That's the problem with you Harry. You can't let go. You can't forgive."

"Why should I? Why in the world would I ever have to apologize to people like you?!"

"You don't Harry, but its the better thing to do. We all make mistakes an-"

"Yeah they do but most try and fix them. Your family didn't even make an effort."

My hands on the doorknob and im wondering why o why, haven't I twisted it open yet. Edward's glancing at it too, but he just shakes his head.

He shakes his head in disappointment because he knows im right.

"Harry, blood or not, we are still fami-"

"We are NOTHING."

"We Are. Im always going to love you like a little annoying brother who really needs to keep his mouth shut ninety percent of the time bu-"

"brothers don't fuck to get rid of their pain. First of all brothers dont fuck at all to begin wit-"

"Oh Harry, you should be the last one talking. You and Louis got into it thinking you were, and still did it. Shut your mouth."

Edward slaps me across the face and there's a huge urge inside me who's begging me to return the favor. 

I don't.

I bite the inside of my cheek as I look at Edward in the eyes coldly, but he doesn't budge.

"I love you. And if you're here trying to tell me you dont feel at least a little bit of what I do, you're lying. You wouldn't have called me or William in the first place to begin with."

"I called you two because you are his family. I didn't call you that day because I needed you."

"if you didn't need me Harry, I wouldn't be here right now."

Edward grabs a hold of my shoulder and I scowl, trying to get the point across that I dont like being touched. His words are vomit to my mouth, but at the same time, I realize, I have my mistakes to. if I wanted to, I could have gotten rid of him months ago.

But he's still here.

"Just stop with the bs, and tell me where you're really going. I'll come. If it's to see him, I can come al-"

"God, if its going to take for you to come with me to stop being a twat, then fine. But I already told you, im not going to see him."

"But you really should."

Ignoring Edward , I take off the keys from the cointer table by the door and begin to walk out. I can hear his footsteps behind me once i approach the elevator and I feel like the bigger fool now for allowing to come with me.

"So....where are we off to?"

None of your business is at the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back, merely glaring at him once the elevator door rings a bell and were stepping inside.

Why did I agree to this?

**********

"This?"

"no."

"How about these?"

"no."

"and these?"

"are you stupid?"

"Harry, what the hell? These are all great shoes."

"those are cheap, equivalent to Wal-Mart's merchanise. Nathan will NOT wear such ugly shoes."

"You know what, forget this. Picking out shoes for a birthday present is so lame anyway. You need to come up with better shit. Who gives shoes for birthday presents anyway? Sorry, but Nathan is going to hate your guts."

"You act like this is the only thing im getting him."

"Wait.....we've been at the mall for 3 hours looking at shoes. THERE CAN'T POSSIBLY BE MORE."

"No one told you to come."

I walk out the store with 0 bags in hand and Edward groans, the sound a little more amusing than i thought.

"God, you rich people and your must have Versace and gucci shit."

"Well Nathan is Classy. Deserves the best."

"More like spoiled."

I turn towards Edward and he fake whistles, looking around while I give him the bird. He laughs and I turn back around, heading towards the store that....

"Hold on, Harry."

"What?"

"We already came here. Was one of the first ones we went in."

"I know. I liked some shoes they had in here."

"Are you fuckin-"

"Hello, and welcome to Journeys! Is there anything I can help you in Sir?"

I turn towards Edward and wiggle my eyebrows, mocking the fact that I walked around the whole mall on purpose although I knew what I wanted.

Even had them ordered online already.

"Yeah, I actually came to pick up an order. some white converse for two"

"Oh, of course sir! Head over to Jenna and hand her the receipt you received, and shell be able to get that for you."

"Thank you, you're very kind."

Edwards eyebrows look like they're about to canoe down his nose, annoyed, leaning against the door frame. He flips me off and I laugh all the way to the counter.

Modeling has definitely kept me in shape to walk around malls for hours, but it seems Edward hasn't lifted in ages.

I hand the receipt to Jeannette or whatever and she brings my order from the back. she opens the box on the counter and I am startled when I here a rough voice coming from my back.

"Not bad."

Edward takes Nathans shoe in his hand and smiles at it and back at me.

"Don't even say I-"

"Hey, I wasn't the one who decided to get matching shoes. That was all you."

Jeannette giggles and god, I hope those are aimed at Edward. Edward puts the shoe back in the box and I slide my card in the machine, present number 1 out of 4 now complete.

******

Im In my office, looking at the rubrics the designers sent in today for Nathan's birthday surprise. There's so many little details to each one I can't seem to figure out which I like the best.

I begin to design my own surprise gift and it only takes me 10 mins to realize I'm a shitty artist. 

"You know, I think Nathan has enough Harry. His face is on mostly every billboard in the city. Dont you think this is a little too much?"

"No."

"Harry, just thin-"

"You wouldn't understand Edward. I learned the first time already. ....not taking advantage of the time to show someone how much you infinitely love them with all your heart. I learned the hard way. Im not making that mistake again."

There's a silence in the room and I regret my words immediately after I say them. There's footsteps behind me and suddenly, Edward's hand is on my shoulder again.

What am I doing, honestly.

He rubs my shoulder and I ignore it, knowing he'll go away. I look at the rubrics again and try to figure out what needs to be changed on #3.

"I think you showed Louis enough, Harry."

I freeze on the spot and lay down my options on the table. I can either ignore it or let it break me down.

There's a long silence in the room and I can hear defeat in his voice once he sighs.

He's dropping the topic. 

Great.

There's another long silence and by the sound of Edward sniffling in the background, I can tell the next topic isn't any better.

"So....you know what's coming up next week right."

"Yes Edward, now go away. I need to get this done."

"Can you please just think about it. Its been a year Harry. The service wont be the same without you."

"Why should I. Its not lik-"

"It's the right thing to do. Im getting airplane tickets for Cheshire tonight. I need to know by then or not if you're coming so I can buy enough tickets. You missed out on the funeral. Dont miss this."

Straight to the point I see.

I turn around and he's sitting down on the ground,.legs crossed resembling a small broken child with stubble.

He reminds me so much of him.

so much of Louis pouting when he was hungry and he wanted me to drive at 3 in the morning for m&ms.

And just like Louis nagging me for something, its hard to say no. 

It's impossible.

"Edward..."

"Harry, blood or not, she was your mother for 15 years. She loved you. You cant miss her 1 year anniversary of passing. Please.....let the past go."

Edward is pleading now and part of me has always felt guilty missing her funeral. But part of me was angry with everything she had put me through too.

"Harry."

"I don't know."

Thing is, the timing was all wrong. Getting into a car crash the week Louis was due was not the best timing. I couldn't just drop everything and leave Louis behind when he was about to pop.

and I also couldn't just bring him on the plane. What happened if he went into labor.

Not that it mattered much now.

"Harry, she didn't take you in because she pitied the absence of your mother or the abandonment of your father. She loved you. And the reason why she tried keeping you from louis was because in her heart, both of you two were her sons. She couldn't bare the thought of you not seeing her that way anymore.

Let go of the past Harry. Please."

Edwards got glassy eyes and although his blue orbs will never compare to Louis, they still show similar emotion of pain. If Louis was here right now, with me, im sure he'd be looking the same way.

I look around the room and try to make up reasons why I shouldn't go. Why its a bad idea to go back and pretend nothing ever happened.

"Besides, you haven't seen your friends since.....you know. Im sure they would love to see you again. They dont have the same amount of money to travel when they want like you Harry. you have to make an effort too"

I think back to the only decent friendships I've had and realize, It wouldn't be so bad to contact Zayn again. we've texted here and there but ive been to focused on other things to make plans to meet them. Seeing his fiancee either would sound bad. come to think of it, I wouldn't even mind seeing Niall.

no matter how many times he tried to take Louis away from me.

"Will you go Harry? Please? At least onc-"

"Just....yeah. Yeah, I'll go."

"Really?"  
Edward's face lights up and damn it, he has to stop resembling him.

"Yeah......Im just....Im gonna.....Nathan."

"You're bringing Nathan?"

"Yeah...I need him there."

Edward looks at me weird but I ignore his looks.

"Bu-"

"If he doesn't go, I wont."

"Fine fine....I just thought you wouldn't want to involve him In tha-"

"I'm not ashamed, Edward. He's going."

I turn back to my desk and begin to scan through all the rubrics for more modifications.

"Thanks Harry. For.....you know. Being able to let it go"

"Yeah Yeah."

"I'll help you let go when we come back too."

 

I hear the door slowly shut behind me and the room is now completely silent besides my breathing. The clocks don't even seem to tick anymore because its not worth counting the seconds if he's not around.

I lean back on my chair and take the small looking pouch out from the back pocket of my khaki pants. I slowly open the small, plain, maroon leather wallet I had there and just stare at the small, portrait of Louis, his round belly, and me enjoying life as if we were the only ones that existed.

It takes me a while to admit, I'm not okay. 

Im not okay.

And I don't want to let go.


	25. Chapter 25

The service was nothing like I had expected.

While I expected family members and friends to pay attention to the priest while he delivered an amazing speech impressively written by William, it seemed everyone had their eyes on me.

At first I had assumed It was due to the fact that me and Nathan had arrived a little late, being the only ones walking to our seat while they sang a hallelujah. But soon I discovered, my once 'family' couldn't keep theirs eyes off of us, the back of my head literally burning with their stares.

I tried not to pay attention much, despite it being the most obvious and found myself crying halfway through the speech. 

For once, Edward was right. I should have forgave my mother a long time ago and not push her aside like I had. She had, regardless if we had the same blood, taken care of me when no one else had. She had gave me a family when no one else had. All my aunts and uncles had accepted me, no matter how rude and immature I had been.

And I was surprised when that truth didn't change.

When the father closed the speech, I was overwhelmed with so much emotion I barely had time to process everyone walking around me to huddle me into a huge hug.  I didn't hold back, letting the tears fall as my aunts, cousins, uncles, and William took turn to welcome me back. 

Letting my pride go, I apologized to each and everyone of them while they forgave me quicker than I could get out the words.

It was not what I had expected.

When there had been enough tears shed, cheeks kissed, and suffocating hugs given, I pulled away and introduced everyone to Nathan. They were all confused at first on who he was until I explained that was just his nickname.

Everyone seemed enchanted with him and I was glad they hadn't judged me for everything that had happened. Here and there, I got some questions about Louis and was thankful when Edward was there to help me dodge them.

My cousins distracted Nathan while I headed towards the exit of the Church, where 3 old friends stood. I couldn't control my legs as I ran up to them, taking Zayn in a huge hug and sobbing into his chest while Liam and Niall huddled on top of me.

I hadn't realized how much I had miss this place until I saw everything I had left behind. Even Niall. My family.

I pulled away and tears filled their eyes too, because there wasn't anything they didn't know about.

"Howve you been Haz. Long Time No See."

Zayn patted my back and I just nodded my head, suppressing a loud scream I wanted to so desperately let out.

I knew I didn't have to tell him though, because I was sure my eyes alone told my story.

Liam proceeded to hug me individually and whispered in my hear how sorry he was and Niall did the same, giving me his condolences. I could tell it was hard for them to not bring up his name in our conversation and especially more with Nathan around.

They stared at him with so much thought, for once, I couldn't tell if it was approval or disappointment.

There was so many things left here unresolved, so many things I needed to do before I went back, but I lost track of everything, trying to gain the approval from my family and Friends.

Nathan couldn't replace Louis, I knew.

I knew there was a hint of hatred towards him from all of them, but there wasn't anything that would ever stop me from loving him.

*****

With Nathan asleep in the guest room of my Aunt Merediths house, me and Edward sat on the living room sofa in each others embrace. My head laid on his chest as he rubbed his hand up and down my back, comforting me as I told my friends a little more of the tragedy that had been inflicted in my life.

My chest felt as if it was in between two walls slowly closing on it, everytime I could see Zayn, Liam, or Niall trying so hard not to loose it. I could see the way Liams hands shook in Zayns, and how Zayns eyes shined with tears or how Nialls lips began to quiver when I stated my decision.

"E-Edward thinks it's the best thing to do. A-And,....hes right. Im never going to be able to give Nathan all my love if there is still a part of me hanging onto Louis."

"A-Are you sure?"

Niall added and Liam seemed conflicted too as he nodded and shook his head, not being able to make up his mind.

That night, we all went to sleep around the crack of dawn, too much alcohol in our system we didn't even make it to our beds, the boys on the stairs passed out and pissed as fuck.

********

As I boarded the plane back to L.A, I felt a big weight lifted off my shoulders. Cheshire again was a place I could call home.

I looked to the seats on my left and smiled as Liam, Niall, and Zayn settled in. Zayn was out of uni, and both Niall and Liam had agreed to drop out together, getting a job at a music production company due to Zayns uncle. And this was perfect, because they had basically were free to travel for a bit.

And I did need them in the end.

I looked to my right and watched as Edward talked to Nathan. It was nice knowing my family and friends could be so accepting. I think Niall liked him the most and I appreciated the kind thought.

12 hours and finally, we were back in my city.

The first thing I heard as we got out the plane was the boys complaining that it was hot and although a part of me wanted to laugh and make fun of them for it, all it reminded me off was the first day I had arrived here with Louis.

It was killing me inside, the way I saw him everywhere I went, thought of him every chance I could. It was like I was digging my own grave I could not get out of and every time I thought I was close to the end, I would dig my whole deeper.

because I was already in too deep.

***********

Nathan's Birthday Bash was better than I had expected.

I knew it was going to be extravagant to begin with, being the own host of the party.

But then I soon realized, the reason why it was better was because of the people I was spending it with. William had his girlfriend over and it was amusing to see him get a frosted cake thrown at his face. Niall was gobbling all the sweets and ended up getting a jolly rancher stuck where one of his teeth were missing, a hilarious sight to see.

Liams attempts to draw shit on Zayns face had been so horrible, zayn ended up having a dickk on his forehead. And as payback, Zayn had sneakily wrote 11 inch on the back of Liams shirt without even noticing.

When time came around for presents, my hands began to sweat.

Nathan got tons of amazing gifts from my family, friends, and colleagues, I ended up giving myself a pat in the back for making up such a great party list.

When it was time for him to receive mine, I felt as if suddenly, a sand clock had been reset and time was running out.

My first gift to him was the party obviously, and I felt satisfied with how it had turned out in the end, my day full or a laughing and smiling Nathan.

My second gift to him we're our matching shoes and every one awed at the sight, Niall and Liam over exaggerating the cuteness and leaving me more flushed than I was expecting to be.

My third gift to him was a BMW car customized just for him, which I knew he ABSOLUTELY loved out of probably all, and left everyone laughing at the sight of him seeing it for the first time.

And the Fourth Gift....

"Are you ready?"

Edward patted my back and I could feel the shivers running down my spine.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

"I-Its fine. Nathans coming with me."

I looked ahead of me and began to feel light headed as I stared at the familiar surroundings.

It had been a year since I had seen Louis.

A year since I last seen the love of my life.

As me and Nathan began to walk, I could feel my heart slowly disintegrating inside of me as memories flashed in my eyes. I could feel the ground trying to swallow me in and spare me the pain I was destined to face today.

Nathan said nothing as we approached him, and I could feel my heart racing so hard it threaten to come out my chest. 

I took Nathans hand in mine as I felt the tears begin spilling out my eyes like Niagra Falls, not having anyone to share what I truly felt inside.

\--------Flashback 1 Year Ago-----

"H-Harry. Harry, oh Yes. Fuckk. Yes!!!"

I looked up through my eyelashes and watched as Louis so magnificently threw his head back on the couch cushion. With such an amazing sight of his bottom lip between his teeth, I sucked his sore nippless harder, wanting to have him panting above me from my lips, tongue, and his tender breasts. He was so sensitive, it was so fuckingg fun messing with them, seeing as he turned into a pleading mess, aching for touch.

He didn't have woman tatas obviously, but they were good enough for me to put them in my mouth and drive him insane with them. He tangled his fingers in my curls and moaned so loudly, I was definitely sure Peanut could hear.

"HarryHarryHarryHarryOhYes. LoveMouthLoveYourTongue!"

I licked a fat stripe Across the left one and bit the tip teasingly, watching as he looked down at me wrecked with a blissful smile along his lips. 

Next, I pressed soft, wet, sloppy kisses from his belly button up to his neck, feeling the way his body shuddered underneath my touch. He always so responsive and that was one of the million things I loved about him.

I buried my face into his neck and began to mark him as mine, sucking on the skin till I sure it was red and displayed a huge TAKEN message across.

"HarryHarryHarryHarryHarry"

Louis tangled his fingers in my hair and pulled harshly, initiating the rough portion of our lovely, extraneous, life.

"HARRYHARRRYHARRY"

His moans became louder, and I sucked even darker bruises into his neck, blowing hot breath onto his skin every time he pulled harder on my curls.

"HARRY!!!!"

Louis shouted in my ear and I pulled back when I felt the tugs in my curls werent from pleasure. I moved my fringe away from my eyes and felt my heart stop as Louis laid still with his mouth open wide but silent.

"Louis?"

Louis looked around the room until he locked his eyes with me, and suddenly, it wasn't play time any more. The screeching that rang in my ears next, would be one I would never forget.

"HARRRYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHH. AHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Louis threw his head back on the couch and I felt my body pale as Louis eyes turned red within seconds and his cheeks were flooded immediately.

"HARRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!! HARRRRYYYYY!!"

"Louis? LOUIS?! LOUIS WHATS WRONG. IS IT TIME."

"HARRRRRYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. HARRRRYYYY!!!!!""

"hold on Lou, let me call the doctor!!"

"HARRRRRYYYYYYY!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!""

Louis clawed at the couch beside him as I ran towards the counter where our cellphones rested. I dialed the hospital immediately and felt fear building up inside me as they recommended to bring Louis myself because the ambulance would take to long to arrive.

I did as I was told and swept Louis off the couch as I tried to place him in the back of the car. 

Louis was in real pain.

I screamed as Louis clawed me as soon I picked him up, the skin on my arms now under his finger nails while I took sight of the blood pouring out. 

"HARRRYYYYY HELP ME!!!!!!!! HARRRYYYYY. HARRY HELP MEEEE!!!!!!"

I continued to carry him to the car as he began to claw at my chest and I could feel the burn every time the nails went in. Placing him in the back of the car didn't seem like a way of helping him to him, hearing his screams loud and clear as I shut the door.

I ran to the drivers seat and tried to calm myself down while I tried to place the key in the slot. With the sight of my arms now looking like they had been raked with knives, I understand why I was shaking all over.

I looked at Louis through the rearview mirror and he was loosing color, sweating, with eyes read as he screamed at the top of his lungs. there was blood on my face as I glanced and I couldn't help feel anxious as I started the car.

"HARRY PLEASE HELP ME. HARRY PLEASE. HARRY."

"S-Shh L-Lou. I-Im taking you to the hospital. you're going to be fine baby."

I looked at my arms and felt nervous as I left them in charge of managing a vehicle on the freeway. I knew I was way above the speed limit and should have probably slowed down.

But Louis was in the back of the car SCREAMING like he'd never screamed before.

"HARRY. ITS RIPPING ME A PART. HARRY HELP ME. HELP ME!!!!!!""

"LOU. WERE ALMOST THERE. 10 MINUTES BABY."

"HARRY PLEASE. HARRY HARRY. HARRY!!!!!"

"LOUIS, Im so sorry!!"

"HARRY PULL OVER. TAKE IT OUT. TAKE IT.OUT. USE YOUR POCKET KNIFE, PLEASE TAKE IT OUT!!!!!"

I glanced at Louis threw the mirror and yelled as I began to see him claw his own stomach. 

"LOUIS! NO!!"

"HARRY HELP ME. HARRY PLEASE. HARRY PLEASE HELP ME!!!!"

"I-Im trying Lou. Hold on baby!! Im sorry!! sorry!"

I glanced between the road and Louis and he continued to claw himself,.blood beginning to spill a bit from repeating the wound.

"LOUIS, STOP IT!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!"

This is all my fault. This is all my fault. I did this to him. I did this.

Looking back at the road, I see the Hospital exit is 8 miles away.

"Louis, were almost there! hold on baby."

I swerve around cars who are going to fucking slow and feel some things missing.

its silent.

I look back in the mirror and meet Louis eyes, who are just starting at mine in silence.

"H-Help."

"We're almost there Lou, were almost there!"

I step on the pedal and try my best to pass everysingle car I can. I glance back at Louis through the mirror to check how he's doing, but his eyes arent open anymore.

"Lou?"

I glance back and forth between the mirror and no....he couldn't have just fallen asleep.

"Louis. Louis baby?"

Its difficult trying to pay attention to Louis and road at the same time, but there isn't much to pay attention in the back anymore. Louis is completely silent and I feel the pit of my stomach sink deeper.

"L-Louis."

"L-Louis wake up."

"L-Louis."

"L-Louis. Louis p-please. LOUIS."

I keep my hand on the honking horn in attempt to wake Louis up but he doesnt move. 

"Louis, baby, were almost there. Wake up!"

I keep one hand on the steering wheel and use the other to nudge Louis awake. I pat as best as I can his shoulder but he doesn't move.

"Louis, please, wake up."

"Louis."

"Louis."

"D-Darling."

"B-Blue, wake up."

"Wake up blue!!"

"LOUIS WAKE UP!!!"

"LOUIS, DONT YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME. WAKE UP LOUIS. LOUIS WAKE UP!!"

Im screaming as loud as I can in the car, but I see no movement any more.

he's not there.

********

I pull into the Emergency room parking lot and there's already people waiting with beds and medical supplies. The doctors already recognize me as I pull in, opening the door to the back of my car as soon as I park. I step out of the car slowly and feel numb, everything around me suddenly slower and meaningless. 

I shut the door to my car and slide down it as the doctors pull out Louis from the back. I see as they place him in the bed and begin to rush him in, clearly not noticing his arm is dangling lifeless off the edge of the bed.

I take out my cell phone and before I know it, the line connects and there's screaming on the other side of the phone. I can't hear what exactly he said at first, until he mentions why am I crying.

-Harry . what's wrong?

"I-I didn't make it."

-Harry, what are you talking about?

"I-I didn't make it in time."

-Make what in time? Harry, where's Louis?

"I-Its all my fault. E-Edward, i didn't make it on time. They're d-dead. Oh my god, they're dead."

\--------Flashback ends-----

Im sobbing loudly in the room as I see for the first time in a year my poor boy, my love, my everything. He still lays lifeless on the hospital bed with only the oxygen pump keeping him alive, his coma one the doctors say he might never get out of.

Edwards words repeat on my head and I know I have to let him go, set him free, let him rest in peace. I take his hand in mine and I place a kiss to his knuckles, just like I know he loves.

My baby boy.

Hes 16 now, little hairs growing above his lip and a little under, his bob hair cut now a little scruffy where he hasnt been groomed in a while. He's thin, but hes still so beautiful to me.

I bring Nathan beside me and for the first time, introduce him to the boy in the picture from my wallet I tried to so long to get him to understand. He looks at him cautiously at first and I decide to set him free, putting him on the bed.

I watch with tears in my eyes as Ethan Nathaniel Styles crawls slowly to Louis and sits down on his pamper next to Louis head. He glances between me and Louis and I wonder if he still remembers, still remembers the first word he's ever said when I showed him the picture.

I take out my wallet and open to the small portrait, showing it to Nathan and pointing at the smaller boy with the round belly. He stares at it for a long time before turning back to Louis and letting his pacifier fall out his mouth. He mumbles incoherent sounds and slaps Louis on the cheek a couple of times. 

Louis doesn't respond obviously and that will always be the problem. I let my tears fall as Ethan looks at Louis in what seems awe but says nothing. Im about to pick him in my arms when he suddenly lays back on the pillow with Louis, looking around the room and then back at me. 

He shows me his little cheeky smile and then turns over, crawling on top of Louis chest. He lays down with his head right over where his heart would be and breaks my heart in the process, still remembering the word.

"da-daddy"

Ethan lays still on top of Louis while I bawl my eyes out, nodding my head as I look at the plug next to the bed.

"Y-Yes Nathan. I-Its time to say bye to daddy now."

 

 

fuck, what did I do.


	26. Chapter 26

\-----------------

Time doesn't matter in a world like this.

In a world you're forced to make decisions that will destroy every piece of you to the very depths of your life, your being, your soul, your existence.

Tomorrow wont matter if what you wanted the most left you today, and wont matter the day after either.

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new chapter that proceeds the book im ending today, the cruel reason why its six in the morning and I have the cord wrapped around my hand ready to just end it all at once.

Nathan's sleeping next to Louis on the bed, and if Louis was actually sleeping, there wouldn't be a reason why I needed to be sitting on the floor next to the wall where the plug to Louis life is.

They look so peaceful sleeping together, and I wonder, if only it was Louis who moved his hand over Nathan.

If only.

I could have blame everything in this universe for not knowing Louis having my baby would have ended up with him basically dead, but I don't.

The amount of pain Louis was in, carrying our child, is the reason why he's been in a coma for a year. He held in so much excruciating, inflicting, pain, that horrid day, that in return, I only get to see the little miracle he left behind open his blue eyes, instead of his.

I know its all my fault, and I know one day, I will pay for it all. And maybe today is that day, because before I know what I'm doing, the cord is unplugged.

Be Free Little Bird.

I drop the cord, and I realize, what I've just done.

My heart battles my mind and demands my hand to plug the cord back on the wall before any more damage can be caused, but I refuse to let it win.

What is there to save any more?

All im saving with him here is pain.

My hand trembles and I throw the cord back to the wall, hearing the clank as it hits it hard and falls to the floor. 

The heart monitor stops beating, and the oxygen pump is no more.

He's gone.

Be Free Little Bird.

I bring both my hands up to my mouth and scream, scream and bite and rip the flesh as hard, but quiet as I can, realizing its not just me any more.

But I scream.

Im screaming on the inside because this is what I've done. I did this. I led him to his death. Just like I promised I would one day.

He's gone.

I bring my knees up to my chest and I sob as quietly as I can into them, realizing what i just done.

I let him go.  
I gave up.

Louis is forever, no more. There will never be another pair of blue eyes who will shine as bright as his, smile which illuminates the room the way his does, a laugh which makes a sweeter melody than any legendary artists could ever create, or produce a greater aura than his presence could.

He's forever, no more.

I can hear Nathan's Whining in the background now, and I feel shivers run down my neck when I think about, what bond I just destroyed. His skin must have turn icy cold, Nathan must have felt the lost of warmth, must have felt the way I just killed his second father in his awakening.

He lets out another loud babble of nonsense and I can't find myself strong enough to take him in my arms. I stay on the ground, and bury my face in my knees, not being able to glance towards their direction any more.

He's laying next to his dead father, a day after he met him.

What a mess.

"E-Ethan, c-calm down love. I-I'll get y-you right now."

Ethan somehow understands, and his whimpers quiet down, giving me space to breath and mourn a little more.

There's a sudden sound of footsteps and I know they're being aimed right at this room. The hospital must have finally realized one of their patients had been disconnected, and unfortunately for them, they're too late.

The door suddenly slams open and the doctor appears, along with two other nurses. 

Their jaws drop and I know if I was in their shoes, I'd probably be doing the same thing too.

I was the one paying to make sure they kept him alive, since Edward and William favored more, letting him go. The own payer unplugged the cord and I understand how crazy it must seem by the way the two nurses begin to pick me up the floor and trying to get me to leave the room.

"Mr.Styles, step out."

There's one man on each side of me and pulling on either off my arms, pulling me towards the exit.

"I can get up myself! Let me go!"

I try to shove them, but these nurses, men, are too huge. before I know it, my feet are off the ground and im being held up by the collar of my shirt into the hallway.

"Let me go!! At least let me get my own fucking son! Ethan!"

Im thrown into the hallway, and when I turn around, before the door is shut closed, Im met with the unexpected sight of the doctor staring at the bed, pale white, while Louis sits straight up on the bed, cradling Ethan, looking around the room.

************

"Harry!"

"I KNOW WHAT I SAW"

"Harry, calm down!!"

"IM NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN!!"

"Harry, you unplugged Louis, its a figment of your imagination! you feel guilty you just let him go."

"EDWARD, FOR HELLS SAKE, I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES. H-HES ALIVE. I--I DONT KNOW. I DONT KNOW HOW. BUT HES AWAKE."

I called William and Edward the second after it happened, but they're looking at me like ive gone mental. They're trying to take me back to the waiting room, but I wont refuse to move from where I am.

Outside Louis room door.

"Harry please, you're making this harder on yourself."

William comments and god, I want to kick him in the arse.

"WILLIAM, HE WAS RIGHT THERE. HE'S IN THERE"

"Harry, you're being delusional."

I push William back instinctively, and feel Edwards palm collide against my cheek right seconds after the blow. 

My body wants to react violently, but I stay still, as Edward shakes his head.

"This isnt funny Harry. He is our brother and you can't expect us to be okay with you prancing around, giving us hope. Stop Harry."

Edward frowns and I dont know exactly what to feel.

"Did you drink right after you left last night? You did, didn't you? That's why you're this way."

"N-No."

Edward and William began to corner me, and for once, I feel so small.

"Or were you on that substance again. May I remind you, we got orders from the doctor himself to turn you in if you began again. We can get you the help you need Harry. just let us help."

I shake my head as walk backwards until my back hits Louis door, having no where else to go.

"N-No. No. I swear, I quit. I quit. a year ago. I Swear."

Having Louis for only a month after I found out he was pregnant, wasn't enough time to confess to Louis of my problems when I first landed in L.A. With a heart broken and a pocket full of cash, anything was possible in this city, except quitting the habit within a days time.

I fairly remember Louis expressions when he would realize I was gone at night and my little fool believed, I was out cheating with another woman. Those days where I didn't remember why he was there, or how he had returned, too buzzed with my drug I got addicted to in order to get rid of the pain. The pain of Louis telling me to leave and never come back.

It felt so surreal, when he was back, I didn't believe it myself. That day in the hospital, when he first revealed to me, our baby, I went out to and sniffed it away. And when he returned back with me to L.A. after running away from our 'mom', I went out and sniffed it away.

I didn't believe it, it was all a dream to me. Till Ed made me realize what an idiot I was being by not acknowledging that Louis was back, pregnant as ever and crying because I was acting as if, I didn't even know why he was there.

"I-I swear. Im clean. I-Im not crazy."

Edward and William shake their heads and take one step closer. At that moment, the door is being swung open, and I fall back in, the doctor looking down at me on the ground while I look up.

I take my opportunity, right there and then, and look behind his legs, my heart almost exploding at the sight of Louis looking down at me alarmed with Ethan in his hold.

He's Alive.

I hear gasps coming from the background and immediately, I know,.its William and Edward.

I knew it.

"Mr.Styles, he won't speak to me. I'll give you two some privacy and maybe, he'll speak to you."

The doctor whispers along with a couple of more sentences I can't seem to care about because he shuts the door, along with Edward and William out, and im left with Louis staring at me like im a beast.

He's here.

The blood in my veins is rushing, my heart is about to beat out my chest, my hairs are standing up, and Louis is sitting on the bed with Ethan in his hold.

Ethan gurgles, and leans back on Louis stomach happily, swinging his arms around like hes having the time of his life.

I can't believe it with my own eyes.

My green are once again, staring into blue, and although there's fear in his, its better than I would have ever expected.

I get up from the ground slowly, and immediately feel the tears flowing out my eyes. 

He's here.  
He's alive.  
he's staring at me like I have two heads, but he's alive.

 

He is up from his year long slumber, with longer hair, little facial hair, a skinnier body, but still here.

"C-Can I call my mummy."

His VOICE. Its a little deeper than before, with a raspy edge next to his high pitched tone and I'm infatuated.

I see him squirm as I cover my face and begin to sob, not quite believing he's present.

I rush to him on the bed and before I know it, im sobbing into the pillow beside his head. He's laid down flat when Ethan in the middle, but im sure to hover over him on my knees so i dont squish our child.

our baby.

our Ethan.

"L-Louis."

I press a huge kiss to his cheek and I suddenly here his breath hitch.

Or is it Ethans?

Ethan grabs at my belt and I pull off of Louis, taking our baby in my arms as I kneel on the bed.

"Ethan, that is not yours. That's daddy's."

I ignore how pathetic I must look as I look down to Ethan and bring him up to my face so I can kiss his forehead. He gurgles and I laugh, ignoring the snot and tears coming out of me as I put him back down on my lap.

"E-Ethan? T-That's h-his name?"

When I look up, Louis is beaming down at our son like he's just seen a puppy yawn. His smile still looks beautiful as ever, crinkles eyes on the side, with only a dimple popping out on his right cheek.

I realize soon after, this is the first time, Louis is meeting our son. He's never seen him before, because Louis was way gone before they cut him open to retract Ethan.

This is their first, father, son bond.

"Y-Yes. Ethan Nathaniel Styles."

Louis glances up for a second up to me and back to the baby, poking his nose and erupting a giggle from Ethan. Louis is stunned and does it repeatedly until Ethan us a giggling mess and Louis a giggling mess, and I am one too, although I include tears.

"T-That's wonderful. M-My b-best friend f-from my first year. T-That was h-his name."

"I know."

I smile up at Louis, showing I do remember his chocolate chip story, and he seems surprised with the action, eyes widening and looking around the room.

He's here

 

He's actually here.

"W-What t-time is it?"

"like 7, 8 in the morning."

Louis eyebrows furrow and he looks hesitant with my response, shaking his head slowly.

"L-Like day?"

He shyly nods, and I feel like its.orphanage Louis all over again, the boys cheeks reddening hotter than a tomato.

"Sunday, the....uh 17th. "

Louis shakes his head and Leans in, still not satisfied with the answer apparently.

"February 17th, 2012...Sunday."

Louis hums and nods his head, before looking around the room again

"Louis, you dont know how much I've missed you. we've all missed you. me, William, edward, Zayn, liam niall, your family, everyone."

"William? Zayane? Nail?"

I nod and he looks down at Ethan, which reacts immediately to shifting in my lap.

There's so much I need to say in the moment, so much I need to get out, put all the cards in the table, acknowledge the big elephant in the room, until I hear a sudden whimper come from Ethan. I look down and hes beginning to grunt and become irritated, turning red as he begins to slowly cry.

"Hey hey, Ethan. Ethan, whats wrong bear? Why are you crying? Aren't you happy to see daddy?"

I look up and feel my heart sink to the bottom of my chest as I realize, Louis now has tears rolling down his eyes like Ethan, and I feel ashamed I didn't notice until now. he scoots back on the bed and looks around the room again, and begins to whisper incoherent sounds which I can only make out the word

'im sorry'

"L-Lou baby, why are you sorry? You're okay now. You're with us."

Louis shakes his head again, and I hear the door beginning open again. From the sound of the footsteps, I can tell its the doctor. Louis doesn't pay attention to him either, just shaking his head while he looks at me with his bottom lip trembling more than ive ever seen it before. He speaks the words that brings my world to an end.

"I-Im sorry. A-Am I s-supposed to know y-you?"

.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically now the third book from here on OUT.
> 
> (OBLIVION)

He's staring into my eyes while I glare back at his.

He's shifting in his bed uncomfortably while I try my best not to hurt Nathan while he's in my hold, my grip threatening to toughen with the amount of boiling blood rushing through my veins.

If this is what he calls amusement, he has another thing coming to him.

"Lou, quit your shit. You know who I am."

I grit through my teeth as Ethan is still wiggling in my lap, weeping. Louis looks besides me, and the doctor lays his hand on my shoulder, which I shrug off the second it lands.

Louis doesn't speak to me, lip in between his teeth as his blue orbs loose their color, staring at everything but me.

"Louis."

I try again and the doctor is now mumbling words I'm not paying attention to, in my ear. Louis glances between us two and shakes his head, scooting back on the bed.

"L-Louis. This isn't funny."

I try again and visible fear wipes over his face, his hands thrown up into the air and landing on his head. He pulls his hair and his heart monitor suddenly begins to beep uncontrollably.

He's panicking.

I'm making him panic.

"Mr.Styles, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Your putting Mr.Tomlinson here under unnecessary stress and there's some tests I still need to perform."

I stare at the doctor and he has That look. That look he first gave me when he told me Louis had shifted into a coma. That Look is no good news and by the way Louis looks afraid at the edge of the bed, I know it's not.

"Doctor, what the hell is going on? He says he doesn't know who I am !!"

"Mr.Styles, please step out."

"How is that possible!! Louis, you know me!!"

I stand up from the bed, Ethan cradled in my arms while he cries and I point at him. Accuse him.

He must be lying.

He's lying.

Louis shakes his head and pleads the doctor to take me out.

"Is it because of the child? you don't want the child? Man up and tell me Louis Tomlinson !! Don't play this sick joke on me! You know who I am!"

"Mr.Sty-"

"Doctor p-please. I-I swear I-I dont know who that man is. H-He tried to kill me, I-I think. Unplugged my machines!"

Louis screams and grabs a pillow, placing it as a shield.

The feeling at the pit of my stomach worsens and before I know it, William is taking Ethan off my arms and Edward is pulling me back.

I don't understand what they're doing, but there is tears in their eyes. They pull me out the room and I can see Louis beginning to cry as they shut the door closed.

This must be a joke.

This has to be a joke.

I pull out of Edwards hold and watch as they drop down in the waiting hall chairs and begin to weep, Ethan accompanying them. 

The tears look real.  
Their pain looks real.  
Their struggle to hold themselves look real.

"Tell me this is a mistake. P-Please. T-The doctor. H-He must have got the wrong patient reports. H-He had to. H-He must have."

I drop to my knees and beg at their feet, although they cant offer me much but a yes or a no.

I get a no, and my whole body tenses.

"I-It can't be."

Their eyes are bloodshot and it seems, they received the news before I did. 

THIS can't be happening. I just got him back and it seems, he's left again.

"P-Please."

I ignore how pathetic I sound as I crumble on the floor, head on the floor as I try to hold my screams in.

"H-He doesn't remember us Harry. N-Not Me. N-Not William. N-Not you. N-"

"N-Not Even Ethan??", my voice breaks and Edward shakes his head, wiping his tears away.

Whatever lies above, obviously has decided to exert an cruel punishment upon me, I am convinced.

I lay on the floor and don't believe the news myself, hearing Louis screams from the room that he wants to see Haley and James.

'His parents'

Little does he know, his father is in jail, his step mother is in jail, his real mother passed away, his brothers are standing outside his room, while his lover lays broken on the floor while their child weeps.

"


	28. Chapter 28

I stare at the ground while the sound of his tapping foot sounds through the hollow, quiet room. Either sympathy or annoyance must be coming from the officer and it's pathetic having to be escorted into this white walled confinement to 'calm my nerves down'

Edward and William are telling Louis at this very moment what has happened in the past 3 years, or at least, what they know off, my blue eyed boy only remembering events until the age of 13

Louis believes he is 13.

It scares me that all Louis memory has been wiped clean, leaving behind innocence and confusion. 

It scares me Louis now only has knowledge of the world from his relatives and I. 

It breaks me inside to know, explaining our love to him is going to be a heck of a ride. How do you explain to someone they were impregnated due to reproductive malfunctions caused by one, himself. How to explain you once were in a relationship with your believed to be brother and didn't even care, although it wasn't true in the end. How to explain the baby they so fast connected with, is actually their son.

How.

That's why William and Edward are speaking to him right now, while I sit in the next room, pondering and falling apart with every second that passes by. Ethan is in there with them and I can predict, its because Louis can't trust anyone yet.

The door opens and in, comes the doctor with the twins. They dont have Ethan with them, and I can quickly assume, he asked for our baby to stay with him.

That has to be a good sign......right?

I stand up from the chair and the room feels tense, suffocating, unpredicting.

"Mr.Styles, like I told your uh.... friends here, we are still running tests on Mr.Tomlinson. Louis memory loss could be for a couple of weeks or months, we're still not sure of th-"

"You're not sure? Could he have amnesia forever? I need a more narrow answer."

"Mr.Styles, I truly dont know. I've never dealt with a case like yours."

"Well what a fucking doctor you are."

"Harry. Calm down."

William and Edward approach me and I step away, not needing the pat in the back or hug comfort. This isn't something I can wait around trying to figure out. I need to know. I need to make a plan. I need to know what's going to happen.

"Im sorry Mr.Styles, I truly am. I was just talking to them outside and my colleagues agree, maybe surrounding Louis with his previous belongings or taking him places he was once before, will increase the process of remembering. Its just a guess, but it's worth a shot."

"You mean....moving back to Euro.?"

I turn to William and Edward and they nod, looking at the doctor for support. He nods and I'm defeated. Of course I'll do anything if it means Louis will get better.

It's my main priority.

"I have to attend a patient right now, but I will keep you updated on any new discoveries. We're still investigating on how to speed up Mr.Tomlinsons recovery, so not all hope is lost. If you'll excuse me."

The doctor parts his way and so does the officer, no longer needing to monitor me in the room. William and Edward shift to sit in the chairs next to me, and the anticipation is killing me.

What did Louis say to all this?  
What does he think?  
Does he even believe it?

"How did he take it?"

I break the silence and as soon as I speak the words, I regret them.

I regret them.

William goes on about how he started by telling him Haley wasn't his mother and who Anne is. He mentions the way Louis weeps with the discovery, hesitating until they're able to provide the DNA test and break the news that his father is in jail for his kidnapping. He mentions Louis doesn't react much to his mother's death because of course, he doesn't remember the lady Edward is showing him in pictures. He mentions how Louis gives them lament for their mother and cries when he is told, the twins are brothers and his brothers. He mentions how Louis still gives them big hugs and apologizes for not remembering them, although he's trying so hard.

He mentions how they tell Louis he was 14 when they found him and he had been living with them until a couple of weeks after he turned 15.

"Y-You told him w-what?"

"Harry, don't take this the wrong way."

"Wh-"

"We had to. Think about him, Harry. He's 16, with his whole life ahead of him."

"And you expect me to be okay with you guys telling him, im just a fling with a son he met back in Cheshire?! Were much more! We're so much more Edward!"

I stand up from my seat and throw the chair across the room, hitting the wall with a thud and falling to the floor. William flinched and so does Edward, looking a little pained.

He doesn't know what pain feels like.

He doesn't know what I'm going through at this very moment.

What I AM FEELING, is pain.

"E-Edward, I love him! We have a fucking son together!!"

"And he almost died giving birth to him, Harry! Think about it."

This is insane. This is fucking insane. 

Edward and William have Louis convinced I had Louis runaway with me when he was fifteen to America and on one of our days here, we were in terrible car crash that put him into a coma. 

He has Louis convinced Ethan is my son and his mother left us both, the unknown teen too unprepared to be a parent just yet, leaving me the responsibility.

He has Louis convinced our relationship was only weeks prior to our running away, and it hurts me, to believe, he wants Louis to take a different path from us.

"L-Louis is the love of my life. And the father of my child, Edward. I-Im not going to let him go."

"Im not saying you have to! If he really loves you, he'll find his way back to you. But i think its best if we give him a chance to start over. Go back to school, graduate, go to college, whatever he could have done that was stopped when you two fell for each other."

My teeth are clenching harder than I thought they could and it angers me. It angers me so much.

"If this is your way of keeping our FWB shit, forget about It! I told you I would never love you in that type of way! I love Louis, Edward. He's proved it before by staying here with me in America."

"Im not doing this because of what we Had Harry. Im giving you a chance to start over too. Or would you really like to mention to Louis what you were doing while he was in that bed unconscious, huh? I dont think so."

His words are like knifes to my throat, and I'm stuck.

"Besides, Louis doesn't trust you so much right now. He sees you as the man who was about to pull the plug. You need us Harry, dont start a war. He trusts us."

Its like knifes to the heart, ready to puncture and leave me bleeding to death. My hands clench by my side before I pull them up to my hair and yank, rough so I can feel the sting the worst I can.

"I-Its not fair. It's not fair!!"

It's not fucking fair.

It's not fair.

\-------

After an hour session in the restroom, a little cleaning up with a change of clothes, I step into the small hospital bedroom. My heart is in my throat, seeing the way Louis leans in the bed calmly with our son betweens his legs.

Our son he doesn't even know its his.

Ethan lays his little head back on Louis tummy while his daddy reads him a book.

"That's a big scary wary wolf Ethan. He destroyed the pooor liddo piggys home" 

Louis voice is still high pitched with a slight raspy tone to it, the sound music to my ear like its always been. He laughs as he points and Ethan looks up at Louis, baby blue eyes mesmerized with how much beauty his father contains.

I know, because I see it too.

"Doddlaeune" 

Ethan speaks his language and Louis beams at our son like hes the sun. Those crinkles by his eyes appear, and although his under bags are swollen with all the tears he's probably shed in the past hours, he still looks beautiful.

He's always been beautiful.

"That's wight. The wolf is such a bad doo doo head."

Louis flips the page and I cough on the down low, trying to make my presence clear.

It's not enough.

Louis doesn't budge, still looking at the book and Ethan. He's about to speak when I try to barge into their conversation. A to A conversation.

"He didn't even say anything Lou." 

Louis snaps his head from the book and visibly tenses. He shuts the book and Ethan gets a better view of his second daddy present, the sound of his giggling the second best thing I know I will ever listen to in this world.

Louis cheeks turn red, with embarrassment I presume, and the sight is delighting. He looks so young and older at the same time, facial features becoming more defined. His cheekbones are higher now, Hair almost reaching his shoulders, and body little thinner.

And he's still beautiful.

"Well im pretty sure that's what he ment."

Louis stutters out and I smile, heading closer to bed, a little unsure. 

Where we stand right now, is a little evident, Louis shifting backwards in the bed when I approach the bed. Ethan does the opposite and shifts on his hands and knees, trying to crawl over on the bed to me. 

Louis lets him go and on time, reaches me, using my shirt and his little dainty hands to stand up on his two feet. 

"blergh. dergp ahhhh."

"Nice to see you too, baby. Daddy's missed you."

I lift Ethan from the bed and place him on my hip, squeezing his cheek before I press a kiss to his forehead. I look back at Louis and his eyes are widened.

His face gives off nothing.

"I-Im sorry. William said I-it was okay if I played with him a little longer."

"You can play with him anytime you'd like."

It's taking every ounce of self control to not pounce on Louis right now, looking so innocent, with chapped Louis i know I can sure fix with a kiss or two. It seems like an eternity has passed since I've kissed Louis, nonetheless, talk, and it all seems surreal.

For a moment, I debate wether im day dreaming, trapped in a nightmare im too stuck in, to escape. I place Ethan back on the bed, and as soon as he crawls back to Louis, I commence my hypothesis, pinching my arm repeatedly in different places so I can wake up.

This has to be a Dream.

A nightmare.

A Hallucination.

"W-What are you doing?"

Louis speaks and I begin to do it harder, faster, while I try my best to hold in my whimpers.

"H-Hey. Stop."

Louis brings up Ethan to his hold and I shake my head, walking away from the bed, my control slipping away from me faster than I expected.

Harder.

Faster.

"H-Hey, w-what are you doing? Stop. Y-Youre hurting yourself!"

Louis raises his voice and waves his hand towards me, trying to get me stop while I hit the wall behind me and I accept defeat. I feel as water drops hit my thighs and I surrender, feeling utterly broken.

I run my hands through my hair and pull, sobbing pathetically in Louis room because, its not a dream.  
Slowly, I sink to the ground and bring my knees up to my chest, letting the tears out because this is my punishment.

He doesn't remember, and doctors can say everything they want, but it won't change a thing. He might be Alive, but I've still lost one of the only things that mattered to me the most in this world.

He won't remember our fights, our laughs, our long nights, our blissful mornings, our adventures, our love. 

Nothing.

I'm just a stranger.

I feel a tap on my shoulder and I quickly look up, seeing Ethans blue eyes first before his father's. Louis sitting back on his calves with Ethan on his lap, looking concerned and oh no.

"Louis! W-What are you doing out of bed?"

"I-I dont. I-I. Y-You were hurting yourself. I-I had to do something."

There is other options.

You could have done nothing.

I wipe my tears away and I shake my head. He's got none of his tubes connected anymore and the heart monitor gives a simple straight tune.

"I-Im just....Y-You should be back in bed."

Without thinking, my body reacts to Louis presence, my arms sneaking their way under Louis legs and behind his back. He squeals as I do the unexpected and lift him off the floor, walking back to the bed while I carry him bridal style and he holds onto Ethan.

I glance at our reflection when we pass by the glass window on the left side of his bed, heart straining with the thought that this was exactly what I wanted at one point in time. Being able to take care of my boys, loving them unconditionally until the day, I died.

I place Louis back on the bed when I realise what ive done, quickly apologising when I set him down and he's staring up at me like he doesn't believe what I just did.

"I-Im sorry. I-Its a habit. Y-You never wanted to walk anywhere when you were preg-"

I stop midway sentence and feel my face pale, so close to revealing the truth. Louis right eyebrow raises and he looks at Ethan before glancing back at me and shaking his head.

"W-What do you mean it was a habit?"

Louis looks at me for answers and Im stuck between the wall and the blades. How much has William and Edward disclosed? What can I say? How much should I say?

I have my tongue between my teeth and it slips, just a tiny bit. 

Edward wants me to win him back. This is all bs, but I don't see any otherway. I understand, Louis should have the chance to decide what he wants for himself, without feeling he has the pressure of making certain decisions because of Ethan. I understand, hes young and doesnt need the stress of raising a child, doesn't need to pay the mistake I made.

But I want him.

I want him so much, it hurts. It hurts when i look at him and a thousand memories come flooding in. 

"I-I used to carry you like that....all the time. Y-You liked being swept off your feet."

I take a deep breath and am satisfied with my answer, not providing to much, and being discreet. I examine his facial expressions for answers but receive none but discomfort. I receive an 'oh' and my heart shatters.

There's a long silence between us after, the only sounds in the room coming from Ethan and the pages as he flips through the book.

I can see William and Edward's shadow passing by the room every ten minutes, and it irritates me, knowing there's two other people in the plate who dont trust me.

"I-I dont get it. I-if you were really my b-boyfriend, w-why'd you unplug me."

I look up into Louis eyes and they have become glossy, shining despite the dim light in the room. Its a tough answer because I've never wanted to, 

until Edward.

"H-He said I had to let y-you go."

"Who?"

Fuck. 

I turn towards the door and wonder if William or Edward had heard my confession, realize I just fked everything up.

"T-Them?"

I turn back and Louis looks appalled, shaking his head as if he doesn't believe me. it hits me, why I can't opposite of the twins, Louis loyalty laying more on their side.

I decide not to speak and begin to reach for Ethan, needing to leave, needing to breathe some fresh air. Needing time to think, Needing so many things, some I can't have.

"I-I have to go."

Ethan lays his head on my chest and I begin to walk away from Louis, not being able to handle more pain than what im experiencing now."

"W-Where are you going?"

Our home.

I bite my tongue, and keep the truth to myself, like ive had for the past hours. Its not worth anything anymore. It's not worth a damn dime.

"H-How am i supposed to believe you were once my boyriend, when you're not even making the effort to stay."

It's like a blow to the face, a dagger to the stomach, a silver bullet to my heart. A part of me is furious, a part of me is hurt, and a part of me mixes it, it together, words I wish I could have taken back, now out of my control.

"How do you expect me to stay and act okay when the love of my life, doesn't remember me?"

It's a low blow, and I can see Louis is hurt, face scrunching as he tries not to cry. 

He does it all the time and it hurts to know that. It hurts, Everything hurts.

"F-Fine, l-leave me. You were planning on so anyway."

My hand is on the door knob, twisting to the left when his words hit me. My brain is telling me to ignore him, but my heart is shouting to turn around and give him what he rightfully deserves.

But then again, I've never been the one who uses his brain alot.

I let go of the handle and turn around, feeling a little amused by the way Louis brave defence falls apart, angry face turning into fear, scooting back onto the bed.

"W-What are y-you doing."

I pick up the pace and walk quickly towards his bed, fuming on the inside.

"I-Im sorry, I-I didn't mean it."

"Oh you ment it, alright."

I place Ethan down on the bed and grab Louis by the hem of his shirt, towards me. Memories of the first day of I met him flash in my head, the way Louis eyes screamed 'horrified' when I was hovering above him, before I pushed him back down on the ground.

He's got that same look in his eye again.

But this time, my actions go in the opposite direction, taking both me and Louis off guard.

My lips slot in between Louis and I feel a marching band suddenly performing in my stomach, fireworks exploding while dancers perform. It's been so long. There's a still sweet taste upon his think, pink, perfect lips and it brings mine to life.

I pull away fast when I realized what ive done. Louis is breathing hard and he gasps when there's a reasonable amount of distance between us. Its all unexpected, but I've never felt more alive. More at home.

"Y-You kissed me."

Louis finger brushes his lips and rosy cheeks emerge upon his face. He's flustered like a 13 year old who's just gotten his first kiss, and its probably because, in his mind, it is.

"If I had a penny for every time I did, we'd be billionaires Lou."

I pick up Ethan from the bed, and decide to finally depart from the scene, not wanting to allow myself to fall in this love trap, im sure I'll never be able to get out of.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
But then again, I've never been the one who uses his brain alot.


	29. Chapter 29

"Harry Styles and Ethan Styles?"

"That's us mam."

"Go up then."

The receptionist waves at the elevator and I give her a small nod ,knowing the room number already by heart. The diaper bag keeps sliding off my shoulder and Nathan won't stop slapping my cheek as I walk, making it ten times harder for me to possibly not crash.

"Nathan. Stop hitting me baby, we're seeing daddy in a minute just calm down."

We walk past a mirrored wall and I regret it the second I do, seeing the huge bags under my eyes. It's been a long night.

a really REALLY long night.

and not in the eely type of way.

"Ow Nathaniel!"

"Nathaniel!"

There's older women and men looking towards my direction as I walk with my head sideways, trying to get my boy's hand out of my curls. 

"Nathaniel please, you're hurting daddy."

He wont budge.

There's a loud clash sound beside me and I realize I've dropped the diaper bag, Ethans belongings scattered all over the floor.

"Well isn't this just the perfect way to start the day."

With nothing to hold on now, the gift on the floor too, I use my free hand to pull Nathaniels hand out of my hair. 

"Bad little boy."

I pout at my son and he looks at me with widened eyes, silent. Im not entirely sure if he knows what it means, but it works every time I do, so I don't question.

"Well goodmornin lads. Need some help."

As I crouch, William approaches me with a carton of milk pressed to his chin. I sigh and nod, offering Ethan who goes with his uncle.

"Helloooooooo baby. Hellooooooooo baby. What did u do to daddy? what did u do?"

William bops his nose and Ethan giggles, sound resembling Louis just a quite bit.

"didn't let me sleep, that's what he did."

I begin placing all his fallen out diapers and extra clothing back in the bag while William laughs and shakes his head. I laugh too and nod.

"Really?"

"Yep. I know he has those nights where he has trouble sleeping but yesterday.....my god. it was like he didn't want to. Cried all night. He's been fussy all morning and he wont stop abusing me."

"Awww cmon young Harold. dont tell me you're going to report him for physical abuse. Hello officer, id like to report my 1 year old son because I cant handle a little rough loving."

"it's not rough love, he's just being intolerable. needs to sleep."

I get up off the ground and playfully shove William as we continue our path down the hallway. 

We've resolved all our issues last night when Louis had fallen asleep, and Edward, surprisingly agreed to my terms. We had made a couple of rules and although it took me some hours of crying to accept what was going on, I had to gain back my common sense and move on with it.

The history of our family....

completely would be erased from Louis knowledge.

The doctors weren't too sure if he'd gain any memory back so we came to the agreement that Louis did not have to know who slept with who, who we at one point thought we were to each other , nor all of that shit.

Edward took responsibility on telling Louis that his previous mother was actually his kidnapper and his dad was in jail for being an accomplice. William took charge of telling him his real mother had passed away in a car crash the previous year and that he had somehow managed to forget the past 4 years of his life because of a car ride gone wrong with ME.

In our new start, I was a family friend who knew Louis and had dated. Edward had told Louis we had ran away to L.A. together to defy our parents at the age of 15 & 18 and in our car crash the previous year, I had made it out okay but he had remained in a coma until today, where he was now 16 and clueless and I was 19 with a child.

"Just remember t-"

"I know, i know. I wont say a thing."

"It's for the best Harry. This way, he wont be so opposed to the idea of attending school so he can at least graduate. He deserves this opportunity and doesn't need the idea of having the responsibility to take care of his child as his priority."

"But it kinda is."

William's face pales and I roll my eyes, raising my hands up in defeat.

"I know I know. It was my fault for not using my condom."

William nods and turns back to Ethan kissing his face.

"Doesn't mean he couldn't have closed his legs too, thou-"

"Shut up!"

William slaps me upside the head and I can't help burst out into laughter. Ethans laughing too, and I feel as if I should be a little offended he is amused by the image of me getting hurt.

"Dont worry, I wont tell him Ethan is his."

I take Ethan off his hold and place him on my hip as I get ready to enter the room. I give my son the item and the sound of plastic wrap crumbling erupts through the hallway as I do.

"Ethan, No baby. those for daddy."

When I reach the door, Edward is already holding it wide open and I can see from afar the thin figure sitting up on the bed and

oh god.

"You're welcome."

Edward whispers in my ear as he walks out past me and shuts the door.

Fuck.

"G-Good morning?"

His skin on his neck is all bare now, his sinful milky white neck and shoulders exposed. His beautiful bowl cut hair is gone, leaving behind for me the perfect access to sink my teeth into. 

"I-is there something wrong?"

"You cut your hair."

I clutch the item to my chest and ignore the way Nathan's making grabby hands towards him.

"Y-Yeah." 

I notice the light shade of pink appearing on Louis cheeks, and I'm mentally is screaming on the inside.

"D-D-does it look o-okay?"

Fuck.

Fuck yeah.

Louis pink lips are shaped in a pout and he reaches up to run his fingers through his hair slowly. I can see the way he's insecure about it, placing his dainty hands all over until they land on their neck and he frowns.

"I-Its to short isn't it. I-I shouldn't have let E-Edward cut it. I-It looks horrible doesnt it. What am I go-"

"Louis."

Calling his name alone makes him go silent and I dont know how to feel about it. I'm not aware if its because of courtesy or fear, but the way hes looking at me now, he's asking for something more.

"Y-You look lovely."

"guuuuuu. guuuu."

I forget I have Ethan in my arms for a moment and extend him out to Louis, seeing the way his eyes scan my boy and the item up and down.

"I-Is this for me?"

Louis reaches and I watch in awe as Louis carries him like its natural, placing him in his lap and smiling down at him.

"He picked them out, didn't you Ethan?"

Ethan is looking back in forth between us and he lets out the biggest chuckle ive heard, getting one out of Louis and me as he slaps his hands up and down, the plastic wrapping sounding loud.

"Thank you for the lovely roses baby."

Louis places a kiss on Ethans cheek and my heart stops beating for a second.

Louis kissed Ethan.

I can tell Louis is thinking the same thing by the way his head snaps up immediately and looks at me like a deer seeing headlights.

"Uh...Im sorry. I-I shouldn't have done tha-"

"Dont. please."

I hold my hands up in front of him and shake my head, the only thing I regret doing is not recording the moment.

"He loves you. Don't worry."

Louis smile is apologetic, and this is the type of thing that is unfair because Louis shouldn't feel uncomfortable kissing his own son. 

Our baby.

There's another silence in the room and I just stare as Ethan crawls all over Louis and slobbers the poor boy all over. Louis just giggles at Ethans amusement at basically anything.

I feel like im at heaven when I watch as Louis accidently sneezes one moment, Ethan becoming startled before bursting out in laughter along with Louis, both boys turning to me with their smiles almost touching their baby blue shining eyes.

It's heaven.

I can already predict Nathan will look like Louis more and I am relief, so much beauty he will be able to pass down to our son.

Im sitting down on the chairs in the corner of the room when I feel myself dozing off, the image of Louis tickling the baby on the bed becoming a blur. I mumble to Louis im going to take a quick nap while he finishes playing with Ethan and I hear a faint reply back.

The sound is incoherent, but im sure he probably said somewhere along the lines of yes.

**********

When I wake up, the first thing in my mind is leaving Ethan by himself.

before in reminded with my surroundings that im in Louis room at the hospital and last thing I remember is claiming to take a nap. I check the clock and it reads 3:47 pm, approximately 4 hours since ive arrived and damn it,

that wasn't 25 minutes at all. 

I stand to my feet and approach Louis bed, the image in front of me one im sure im hallucinating. I rub my eyes and step closer the bed, trying to make sure its real instead of a dream.

It's not a Dream.

As I hover over the small mattress, I watch in awe as Ethan is sound asleep on top of Louis chest as if he was made of marshmallows and clouds. Louis holding on to him as he snores just lightly, and damn It, these two are unbelievable.

"goo goo gaa gaa, you weren't sleepy my ass."

I whisper at Nathan as I shake my head, heading back to the chair and resting my head on the wall. I try to ignore the pounding in my head that is screaming at me to lay on the bed with them and my heart who yells the reason why they share this bond.

"Goodnight boys"

I mumble basically, at no one.

\-----------------

"im still having trouble believing it....to be honest."

Louis flickers his eyes as he sticks the fork full of ramen noodles into his mouth.

fuxking hospital food

"but why."

Me and Louis are currently having a small dinner chat over cheap noodles while Ethan lays in between Louis legs with a bottle and his blanket. I sit on the edge in order to give Louis some leg space but he ignores, and continues to check on Ethan as if he can drink his milk under 10 seconds.

"cause....I'm me. w-why would you want to date....someone like ....you know. me."

"Because you're someone like you."

Is all I say as I stick in the fork in my mouth and continue to enjoy the chicken and water flavored soup.

Im,explaining to Louis, or at least attempting to, explain how we came on about. It's more difficult than it seemed, and especially since Louis asking more questions than I was prepared for.

"that's not a valid answer."

"it is for me though. you're wonderful louis. absolutely incredible. thats why we are dating."

"were."

I look up and feel the strain in my chest as Louis indirectly rejects me, cheeks tinted up in flames.

"yeah."

I respond and another wave of awkwardness submerges us until Ethan saves by the day.

not.

"So.....if you dont mind me asking. W-Who is this?"

Louis puts his spoon down in the cup and wiggles Ethans little foot around. I go in for the obvious answer and sigh when it seems, hes not convinced.

"well yeah...you told me before you are.....his dad. what about m-"

"He doesn't have one."

I try and shut Louis down before he can even think about getting into the topic.

unless hes totally ok with me confessing I messed him up and now Mpreg is POSSIBLE

"what do you mea-"

"He doesn't have one. he's all mine."

"how old is he?"

"turn 1 two days ago."

I can almost taste success as I manage to shift the conversation over to Ethans Birthday, which was close to mine, but not close enough.

"So the day I woke up?"

"Basically."

I hum as I swallow the remaining Noddles in my mouth and let out a little burp at the end.

"his birthday party was the night before, but I brought him here so he could you know.....say hi."

"you mean goodbye."

i can feel louis eyes burning through the side of my head, and for once, I dont want to look at him.

"wait, you said he's one ?"

"yeah."

"why did you bring him to meet me though then?"

"Because.....he hadn't seen you in a while."

"why would he? wasn't he born the day we were in the car crash?"

I look up and I can see, Louis beginning to over think too many things.

Code Red.

Code Red.

"Louis."

"what?"

"do you know what cocks are?"

The question is a witty, lame attempt to change to conversation and I regret it as soon as I say it. Of course he knows what they......

he doesn't.

"you mean the chicken pets?"

I can't help the amusing feeling I experience as I remember the innocence ive tainted over the years is now back again, Louis mind oblivious to HOW he actually found out what it was.

"why are you smiling like that, do we have pet chickens?"

"we do."

Louis ponders for a moment before looking out the door and smiling, like a 13 year old boy he isn't anymore.

"wicked. William and Edward didnt tell me that part."

why would they. I smile at Louis as I remember Liam confessing one of Louis most embarrassing moments when he first started school in Cheshire and sat with their lame group of friends.

"You and your virgin ears."

I whisper as I giggle behind my cup of noodles, watching as Louis face goes from delight to appalled.

"Virgin?"

I hum as Louis furrows his eye brows and shakes his head.

"I am slightly offended. It seems to me you weren't the great boyfriend I thought you were after all."

"you thought I was a great boyfriend?"

I wiggle my eyebrows at Louis and watch in amusement as he scoffs and crosses his arms in front of his chest, shaking his head.

"I did ......before I realized you didn't even know my birthday. I'm a Capricorn. not a virgin."

Louis still frowning and I can't help but laugh at him, little 16 year louis completely oblivious to what he's saying. I look back down at Ethan whos laying right between his legs with his bottle and then up back to his offended, puppy dog eyes, speaking the only thing on my mind as I do so.

"Damn right you're not."

 

[Sorry i left, but im back. doing uni stuff is shit. and working too. stay in school kids!]


	30. Chapter 30

The chair in the corner of the room has now been moved next to the hospital bed, and if you'd ask whether I got in trouble for relocating it, it wouldn't matter anyway.

The sight is truly beautiful.

Magical.

Unbelievable really,

and heart warming. 

Louis remains in the bed while he shoves his tiny nose all over Ethan, peppering kisses all over his cheeks while I remain skeptical if he was reborn with the trait or its just a motherly instinct.

It took him exactly 2 days 1 hour 22 minutes and 17 seconds to realize I would not react negatively every time he slipped and pressed a kiss to his face with out my consent.

I spoke not a single word every time he apologized for reacting so physically towards my son.

Our son.

His son.

He doesn't even know it, but I know the connection is there. 

I can see the way Ethan aches for his second fathers heat when he's carrying him, the way Louis caresses him, comfort to Ethans soul. I can see the way he holds on a little tighter when Louis holds him, and the hesitation written over BOTH of my boys faces when we're forced to leave.

After a week of visiting Louis in the hospital, I find the source of my problem, why Ethan refuses to sleep at night. 

it's Louis.

to no surprise really.....

There's no sleep for me until my next visit to the hospital at the crack of dawn. Until I have to embarrassingly hand over Ethan to Louis and they both sleep all morning on his bed and I pass out next to them on the floor. 

Visitation hours close at 10pm and open at 6am. In those 7 hours were apart, I spend my night chanting lullabies Ethan ignores until I'm walking into the hospital room and singing them while Louis swings him in his arms. 

By Louis under eyed circles, I can see he gets little sleep too. Whether he feels the absence of his child in those 7 hours, I have no clue. The only thing I do notice, however, is the way his first instinct to act out once I open the door to his room, is make grabby hands at Ethan.

Although I wish I could be closer to that bond they share, I do appreciate the way Louis makes a small bed on the floor next to his before I even arrive.

1 week, and It feels like were pretending to play house. There's no need to because the child is his, and we actually have a home together, but those plans dont seem within reach at all.

I try my best to ignore the way Louis brothers cringe at the way Louis connected with Ethan so quick, in a blink of an eye, Louis was cutting their time to spend it instead with our son.

I blamed biology, but they didn't understand.

"W-Why are you looking at me that way?"

Louis is rubbing his hands together as Ethan plays with the strings of his robe. Completely mesmerized, I've forgotten that I was staring. And that I wasn't being subtle about it either.

"Can I not?"

"It's....strange."

Louis shrugs his shoulders and that tainted innocence of his, is completely gone. Louis is like a newborn himself, and it drives me insane.

The way his cheeks become rose bushes every time I speak to him or even share a glance, is fantastic. Although I loved his confident aura before, this one is as amazing as well.

"It is not. It's truly satisfying to see my son connect with someone else rather than me. He loves you, you know...."

"He's a baby, he doesn't know what love is."

"True, but I'm pretty sure he recognizes the feeling by the way you look at him."

Its similar to the way I look at you, baby.

Louis looks down, meeting Ethans baby blue eyes while his crinkle up in awe. I can tell by that, he feels it too, and the kiss he presses to his forehead afterwards doesn't help prove his point.

"Well......I do love the little guy. Ethan."

Louis grins and his canines show, staring off to the wall before shaking his head.

"What is it, Lou?"

I lean forward on my chair and Louis startles slightly, but not as much before. He glances between me and our son and shrugs, a little hesitant. I dont budge, remaining on the edge to get anything out.

I succeed.

"Nothing.......its just. I knew an Ethan once."

After a couple of thousands jealous glitches occur in my body, I recall the story. The reason why he choose the name.

"Your bestfriend who saved you from the bullies.... yeah. I remember. Ethans named after him."

Flashes of Louis in bed naked with his huge tummy appears in my head, the way he looks so blissful in the aftermath of our love making, rambling about how in his first year, Ethan Walker had saved him and shared cookies with him. He looked forever thankful as he told his story and I pressed kisses to his knuckles, rubbing fetus baby styles.

I chuckle to myself about what happened to afterwards, Louis complaining rubbing Ethan, seeing me acting fatherly, turned him on. The way I spent the next five minutes with my lips wrapped around him until he was dry.

"H-How do you know ....W-what?"

I snap out of my trance and realize, Louis is looking at me like I have two heads. It takes me a while to think of what I said, and too late, I notice I put too much on the line.

"What....."

"You can't possibly know."

"Um....I can. you told me."

"I would never share that information with anyone. It was a difficult time."

"Well you told me, obviously, or how would I know?"

 

Ethan begins to cry and without second thought, Louis reaches out for his bottle and places it gently in his mouth. I stare at his breasts to see if they're gone, and through his robe, I can see them slightly. they've never been huge and surprisingly, they're still the perfect size.

I notice Louis notices me staring by the way he carries Ethan as a way of hiding them. Its amusing to see he's trying to hide something I was once very familiar with.

"I trusted you."

The words are very faint, but im able to hear them miraculously. Louis is looking at me still like I'm out of this world, but I just shrug.

"You were my boyfriend, Louis. yes, We didn't have the best relationship, but that doesn't mean I would have wanted to change it."

Louis still looks hesitant , and I can't blame him. After one week of waking up with zero memory after the age of 13, its understandable.

"I-I dont get it. You talk about our relationship like if everything was okay, but here you are, naming your son after my best friend, whom was created way before I went into a coma. You cheated on me then, right?"

NO.

NO.  
....

"NO"

"Don't lie to me, where did Ethan come from then?"

Louis is beginning to look uncomfortable, and before I even have the chance to come up with a better response, a better lie, I am being bombarded.

"Lo-"

"Don't even try to wing your way out of it Harry. You said it yourself, you brought Ethan here the day of his first birthday and the first anniversary of my coma. This child was born the same day I left, so you either cheated on me 9 months before, or this kid is someone else's."

"I can exp-"

"Where is his mother anyway? Did she leave you cause you were cheating on her too?"

Father.

And He's right in front of him.

"I did not cheat a Louis."

"Then who is this.......This Kid?!"

Louis spats and places Ethan back on the bed, rejection on the max. Ethan begins to cry, making the blood in my veins rush. 

No one speaks in that tone to my son that way.

"He HAS A NAME."

I stand up from my bed and immediately reach for him from the bed, ignoring the way Louis flinches. I cradle him in my arms before turning around and fetching his things.

"His name is Ethan Nathaniel Styles and You're not allowed to see him anymore. No one treats my son that way."

"Harry, no wait. I didn't mean it that way."

My heart wants to betray me and forgive him, but it screams for Ethan first. 

"Harry, wait."

"Fuck off."

I reach the exit and swing the door open, ignoring the looks William and Edward share as it hits the wall.

"Harry, what happ-"

"Take him. Take him back. This isn't going to work out."

"What happened?!"

"Just take him!"

"Harry, please!"

I ignore everyone's pleas as I continue my way out of the hospital with Ethan in my arms sobbing and the diaper bag on the other.

He's not just another kid.

He's my son.

Our son Louis will never understand and grow to love as much he should because of the hidden truth. I must stop Ethan from growing to attached to Louis because unlike me, Louis won't be a permanent in his life, and that's clear.

"Harold, wait up!"

"Take him back home, Edward. He doesn't belong here in America. He's a bad influence to me and my son."

"Dont you mean you and hi-"

"MY. SON."


	31. Chapter 31

\--------

"I think that's enough."

"just a little mor-"

"That's enough Stacy!!"

The flashes are seconds away from blinding me, and it's fucking stupid the first 300 shots of me on the set aren't enough.

"But Mr. Style-"

"Were done for today. Pretty sure this underwear shoot isn't going to need 200 more shots of me."

Getting off the car hood, I walk toward the dressing rack, ignoring the complaints.

"It's just a fucking brief shoot."

Throwing my shirt over my shoulder along with my pants, I walk out the warehouse the shoot is taking place. I dont mind loosing a couple of thousands if they're not feeling satisfied with the shots they have so far.

I don't feel comfortable right now, and especially since I left William in charge of Ethan. 

Cant trust nannies in this town and William isn't any better.

Climbing inside of my car, I drive off back home in only my under garment, feeling the breeze of the afternoon make my skin shiver.

********

"Where's Ethan?"

Stepping inside my home, an unwelcome sight greets me.

"He's in the living room watching tv. Put some clothes on will ya?"

My blood is already boiling and I've just arrived.

Fucking Great.

"Where is my son?"

"I just said, in the livin-"

"SO WHY ARENT YOU THERE, YOU SHITHEAD!!"

I grab the spatula on the corner of the kitchen counter and aim at Williams head, missing by a couple of seconds but successfully getting a shriek out of him.

"HAROLD"

"YOU GUYS LIVE HERE FOR FREE AND I CAN'T EVEN GET THE FAVOR BACK BY LEAVING YOU MY CHILD"

I grab another kitchen utensil and aim again, seeing William shrink to the floor. The sight is highly amusing actually, but I choose to ignore it,heading down the hall towards the sound of the TV.

I have been meaning to get the house remodeled, the living room too far away from kitchen so I can monitor Ethan when he's busy with tv time. There's too many windows and the transparency just makes it less safe for Ethan to live in.

Entering the living room after passing about 3 doors of useless junk hoarding, I find Ethan giggling away on the rug.

Next to Louis.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Louis flinches, snapping his heads towards me so fast I was slightly afraid it was close to falling off. Not that I cared.

"I-I jus-"

"You're supposed to be in the hospital"

"T-They discharged m-"

"AND away from my son."

I run down the steps and snatch Ethan off the floor, placing him on my hip while I stare Louis down.

"Go."

"Harry, please."

"Go! Leave us alone."

"Im sorry!"

I try my best to ignore the way Louis looks so innocent covering his mouth with his red sweater paws.

Don't be a fool Styles.

"J-Just go."

"Harry, I didn't mean to offend you or Ethan. I-Im sorry, I-I just wanted to know why the mother would abandon such a magnificent child."

To be fooled or not to be fooled, is the question.

"And that took removing yourself from my child like if he was a fucken monster? I dont think so."

"I-Im.sorry! I-I was angry."

"Angry at what?! My son never did anything to you!!"

"Not him! I-I dont know. Y-You?"

"Me?! I DIDN'T DO SHI-"

"Harry, I-I was just trying to figure out where he came from. He was obviously made when we were supposedly together and I can't remember anything and this isn't helping m-me."

Louis has tears rolling down his eyes and fuckkk.

I made those.

Ethans becoming fussy in my hold, and my steam is beginning to blow off. I keep forgetting, by choice, Louis has no idea whats going on the majority of the time. 

The sight of him crying because he doesn't want a stranger to take a child away from him, he doesn't even know himself, is truly mindfucken.

"Please forgive me."

He stands from the floor and on cue, Edward and a wide eyed William enter the room. Louis turns around and sighs, shaking his head.

"What happened?"

"Nothing....But you three need to leave."

Ethan is beginning to sob again, and he clearly is disturbed by the situation as he fists at the clothes laying on my shoulder and throws it to the ground.

"Bad boy Ethan. Bad Boy. Leave!"

I hiss at all of them, but they seem glued to the floor. Nathan is doing that face again, and im sure i have 2938 seconds before he begins to actually cry.

"Oh fuck.", Edward whispers and William slaps his forehead.

"I told you to put some damn clothes on!"

"STOP SWEARING IN FRONT OF MY CHILD, SHITHEAD. This is MY house and I'm allowed to wear whatever I feel like! so, OUT!"

Both twins are shaking their heads when I turn away and cradle Ethan. He's beginning to whine alot, and I feel it's all of their presences combined that do so.

"Shh Shh Peanut. Daddy will make it better. Wanna go nappy with daddy?"

When I look up, the Tomlinsons are still still, acting like annoying mannequins.

"Didn't I just tell you all to leave? Nathan and I need our sleep."

"Chest." Louis murmurs, hands covering his mouth as he takes a step closer. He is glancing between his brothers and I, and I am totally confused.

"What?"

I look down and see nothing, beside Ethan cradled on it still irritated. I decided to ignore it and walk out, heading towards my bedroom, Ethans and I room, who no one but us two have been in.

Not William.

Not Edward.

Not anyone.

It holds a deep meaning to me, and therefore. requires a lock, who I only have the key too. I hear foot steps  behind me as I walk down the path.

Although I expect it to be Edward, begging to fix things, it's Louis who's following behind. Our eyes locking, I groan and pick up the pace.

He catches up.

"Go away."

"Harry, please."

"Go away."

"Come here, please."

"Leave us alone."

"I need to speak to you."

I cannot unlock the door any faster, and that's the reason why Louis is seconds away from inviting himself in.

I stop him in time though, pressing a hand on his chest till he moves back out the doorway of our room.

"Harr-"

"You can't come in here."

I place Ethan down on our carpeted floor, and to my fortune, he is the good little boy I know he is and crawls over to the corner of the room, where I have set up a whole utopia full of toys.

I push Louis out the doorway and shut the door behind me, not wanting Louis to see anything inside of it.

It's the only place me and Ethan are able to be ourselves with out the mask.

"Im not....I-I just."

"What is it?!"

I can feel a pinch of regret when I notice Louis shiver with the raise of my tone. He steps away from the doorway and I utilize the moment to lean back against the door.

Louis seems to be staring right through me, mouth hanging a little open while he stares into nothing. If I knew any better, I would suggest he was staring at my abs.

I am only in my underwear after all.

Louis speaks no word as he stares at my body, and I feel a little pleased with the idea that this thirteenth minded year old probably sees me as one of those people on posters placed on walls.

seconds feel like minutes and before I know it, I grow annoyed Louis wants me here, and won't speak.

"What is it you want?! Louis, just leav-"

"Are they.......his."

The touch is sudden, and I feel the blood rush in my veins when Louis presses his dainty hand against the middle of my chest. I then notice what hes looking at, Ethans New born baby feet in the shape of a heart, tattooed in the middle of the two birds on my chest: me and Louis.

Although I doubt he knows the smaller bird is him

"Ethans feet? Yes."

I notice his eyes scan more of my chest, and the way he only reaches to my shoulder makes the feeling even worse. I dont pull away when he lets his hand run over the tattoo, or how he feels skin all over.

"Why would you do that?"

"Do what?"

"A-Are you stupid?!"

Louis pulls away and I can see the tears forming in his eyes.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Me. W-Why? Why am I there?!"

I look down, and there is no way he knows the bird his him.

Unless,

I was being irrational and ignoring completely the big tattoo in cursive under the bird with..

"Y-You have my name on you. You know that's permanent, right?"

LOUIS, reads the left side of my chest, full of teenage stupidity and love.

 

Louis is staring at my tattoo, and tears are now streaming down his face. Eyes are bloodshot red within seconds, and he's crumbling on the floor in the next minute.

I can feel the wave of agony and sympathy approaching me, the depressing and guilty aura fighting to take over my body.

 

"right on my heart....just where you belong."

"what?"

Louis whispers a sentence and he pauses, shooting a quizzical look at me. I know what he has said, but its too good to be true.

"Louis, what did you just say?"

"I-I don't know. a-a phrase? Does it mean something to you?"

"Of course it fucking does, but what about to you?"

I drop on my knees and take hold of both Louis hands on my own, burying my emeralds and his ceruleans.

"Say it again."

Louis blushes and coughs awkwardly, before letting his eyes roam around the hall before settling into mine. They seem hesitant, but in the end ,he manages to pull through.

"R-Right on my heart-"

I cut Louis off by raising his left arm and placing his hand on the tattoo of his name, while I finish the sentence.

"Just where you belong." I whisper, and the whole world seems to stop. 

There's a new look in his eye now,

but I can't quite figure out, if what he is seeing, is our past.


	32. Chapter 32

Holding onto his hands felt like holding on to the last piece of faith I have.

Had.

Past tense.

Beautiful cerulean eyes look into green with the most sympathetic look, its not a surprise when he begins to shake his head.

Shakes.

I can feel every little piece of me breaking inside as he slowly slithers his hands down my chest and away from my body back to his lap, bottom lip in between his teeth.

"I-Im sorry."

He looks away from me as he gets up off the ground and walks backwards away from me, hands roaming in his hair trembling.

"I-I dont."

He doesn't even have to speak the words, for his reaction says it all. Conflicted, angry, and lost is written all over his face.

"Dont. I-I dont remember."

There's not much to work with, and I shut him out again, backing away from him like I should have done in the first place.

"Dont worry about it."

I wave him away and dont let myself fall into the same trap again, entering my room and pressing my back against the door once it shuts.

Ethan is still in his corner with the endless amount of toys and he looks unaffected, just like it should. This separation can either benefit both of them or vice versa, and I'm afraid what the outcomes will be for either.

All I can do now is stare at the frame which covers the whole wall above the headboard of my bed. It's torture to see what could have been, what could have become of two people foolishly in love.

I should probably take it off soon, before Ethan begans to grow up and grow sense of what it represents. He chants daddy every time he sees it, and I like to believe he calls for me.

But with a wall sized picture frame, with the photos of me and Louis kissing with his watermelon sized belly on display

I'm sure he means him.

 

And it's torture.

*************

[Time Elapsed]

"Dada. Dada. Yogu. Yogu"

"Yes Nathan, were going to get Yogurt."

"Yogu!!!!!!"

"Nathaniel, slow down baby. you're leaving dada behind."

"yogu."

"he's a fast one, isnt he."

Ethans walking towards the Frozen Yogurt Shop to quickly, and his bags full of chosen toys isn't helping me out the slightest. 

Louis is behind me with the rest of the bags and he is lost hope, one of the bags ripping open, a hundred bouncing balls flying everywhere. As he tries to save the remaining ones, he slips on one of them, and before I know it, the toy bags are flying everywhere.

There's a loud crash, and everyone in the mall is staring at the mess made. I place the bags down and hear Ethan giggling in the background, grabbing one of the colourful balls.

"Daddy oh oh!!"

"No, Lou Lou oh oh. Come here."

Ethans giggling still as I carry off the ground and head towards Louis, who's rubbing his head.

"What are you laughing at silly rabbit? Do we need the tickle monster to teach you a lesson? I think we dooooo."

"Nooo!!"

Louis gets up off the ground and takes Ethan off my arms, blowing fart noises into his stomach as his laughter sounds through the whole food court. Some people are laughing, smiling, and some look disturbed. And none of it matters, as long as Ethans smiling.

"Daddyy No!!! Ticos!!! Ticos!!!"

There's the word, which wakes the goosebumps in me every single event it happens, although Louis overlooks it instead.

"Peanut, its Lou."

I say sternly, and Louis just glances away, beginning to pick up the toys.

Ethan is now 2 and 3/4 years old, Louis is 17, & im no longer a teen, the big 2 0.

 

"Dada. Daddy. Yogu! Yogu!!"

"We're headed right there champ, we need to pick up your toys first." Louis runs his fingers through Ethans hair and fixes his fringe, while Ethan outshines the world with his smile. His blue eyes seem so full of life every time Louis kisses his cheek, and it's no surprise when he beams at the fact Louis carrying him now.

His arms are wrapped around his neck, and I wave the bags off as I pick them up instead. 

"Are you sure, I can hel-"

"No, just carry Nathaniel. I'll get the bags. Meet me at the shop, ill be there in just a sec."

"Yoguuuuuu!!!"

"Yes Baby, go get yogu with uncle Lou Lou."

"Yogu daddy. Yogu."

Ethans moving his hands all over and Louis begins to walk away, with out another word. I watch as Ethan waves at me goodbye while I gather the toys scattered around me.

Louis turns too and waves, and I wave back, pretending none of this affects me.

\--------------  
[Flashback]

"I-I dont remember half of the things Edward, I cant go back to school."

"Louis, me and William feel like you would be better off graduating. We're giving you a chance to make a better path for yourself."

"But I dont want to go."

"We're not asking you for permission."

"This isn't fair! You know what state im in. I-I cant. I-I dont remember!"

"You'll learn Louis"

We're in the middle of my living room while the twins break down what destiny they have chosen for Louis, one he seems not to be enjoying. He is in tears, and refuses to compromise.

"I-I dont. New people I-I. please dont!"

"There is nothing else you can do here in America, Louis. You refuse to go back to Europe for school, be grateful were offering a school here."

"B-But I dont want to,.Edward. please. H-Harry doesn't go to.school, why can't I do the same?!"

"Harry has a child, Louis."

Edward and a William turn towards me, and I grip the edge of the sofa.

"You dont."

I knew what was coming, so I look away.

"You're going to school."

"Harry, please. Help me out here. Please dont let them send me away to school. I-I cant. I-Im not ready."

Louis climbs on the couch next to me and curls into my side, making all my senses go out of order in a millisecond. Instinctly, my arm wraps around him for protection, his cry for help waking up the side of me I wish to tame.

He looks up at me through his long eyelashes, blue puppy dog eyes enough to have me wrapped around his finger.

Edward and William skin me alive with their eyes and I refuse to be dead meat. Standing my ground, I foolishly come up with the most stupid idea in the world.

"H-He can always help me take care of Ethan while im at work. Can hire him as a nanny?"

"Yes! Oh my god, yes. Please. I love being with Ethan  
Please Edward. Please William. Harry, youre a life saver. Please."

Louis arms are wrapped around my whole body now and the twins shake their heads. 

Later that night, I don't resist the slap I receive, knowing my stupidity well deserved that

[Flashback Ends]

Those same puppy dog, blue eyes I see as Ethan wants to get the second scoop of frozen yogurt.

"No Ethan, you ate a whole cup already. you can get sick."

"Dada yogu."

"Ethan, dada said no."

"Dadaaaa yoguuu."

"Peanut. Im not playing with you."

I point at Ethan with my spoon in his kiddy chair and he drops his head. why he turn to louis next, is no surprise.

"Eth-"

"Daddy. Daddy mo. mo yogu. yogu."

"Louis, don't even think about it. He needs to learn when no means no."

I stare Louis down and he glances between me and Ethan hesitantly.

"Daddy. yoguuu. yoguuu daddy."

"Uncle Lou Lou is not gonna give you any. Ethan Nathaniel. Stop."

I raise my voice a little higher and Ethan begins to make whiny noises, before wiggling in his chair. I reach out and take him from the booster seat, placing him in my lap.

He looks up through his eyelashes, and I forget for a moment this boy will one day resemble the love of my life.

Which sits in front of me, staring at my son in awe. 

He makes his pouty face and before I know it, Louis bending over the table and feeding him spoonfuls of banana split flavored yogurt.

Ethan claps and giggles as Louis does airplane sounds and I press kisses to his cheeks every time he gurgles, not being able to resist seeing him any other way but happy.

We spend 3 hours in the shop, and if anyone asks, the big pieces of m&ms all over the floor did totally not belong to Louis yogurt cup.

********

 

"Finding nemo or despicable me?"

Louis hands two movie boxes to my son and he looks at both of them closely, as if he knew the words written on the titles.

 

"Nemo? you want nemo, bear?"

He taps at the blue sea repeatedly, and its deal breaker, he wants to watch Nemo. I watch in amusement as soon as Louis bends down to pick the box, he is sticking Louis in the eye.

"Ow, that's me eye little bear!"

Ethan points at it and giggles, tapping the box again. Louis looks utterly confused but I understand what he means, seeing the same.thing Nathaniel does as he looks into those eyes that resemble the ocean.

"Harry, have you been letting him watch wrestling?"

"No Lou."

"Are you sure, because I didn't teach him this."

"I didn't either Lou."

"Harry, this is serious. We should not promote violence in this home. I think its time to make some rules on what should be allowed in front of Ethan."

I nod sarcastically, and stand up from the couch, watching Ethan clap as I step in front of Louis. Louis looks up and I try to get my message across, on who is really the boss in the household and who commands. Im 20 years old and passing the 6 feet mark, and I can basically carry Louis with one arm.

"I-I um."

Louis stutters as he looks up and I smile, swiping his fringe off his forehead. His cheeks turn crimson and it brings me satisfaction, how easily you can turn someone to a mess with one simple gesture.

However, I sit back down within seconds next to Ethan, trying to keep it PG because turning Louis into a nervous mess is way less rated R than the whimpering one.

Not that I have .......

 

Or not that I'm not planning too.....

 

Yet.


	33. Chapter 33

*******

"ITS LOUIS. LOU-EHHH. LOU-III!!!"

I place my finger on the small photo in my wallet and repeatedly tap it, tap on his face, tap on the mistake I've done.

"L. O. U. I. S. LOU EH. LOUIS."

Ethan shakes his head and furrows his eyebrows, snatching the small pouch out my hands with minimal effort. He covers Louis face with his thumb and I sigh as he does the opposite of what I want him too.

"Nooo. Daddy."

"Its Louis."

"Daddeh."

"ITS LOUIS."

"No no dada. Daddy."

"ETHAN NATHANIEL, ITS LOUIS."

My voice raises a little higher than it should and I find myself getting hit with my own wallet, Ethan throwing the black leathered pouch at my face. It hits the corner of my eye and I hiss as Ethan shouts back at me.

"DADDY DADDY."

"Bad boy!"

I turn Ethan over and give him one spank, for being disrespectful, and the sobs that come next might or might not be my fault.

I lay back down on the bed as Ethan cries next to me into the pillow, and am lost on what to do. There is no use to this battle and even though William and Edward are unconvinced I can change his mind, I will not give up.

"Ethan, stop crying or I will give you something to cry about."

I did not even hit him that hard, I barely laid my palm on his bum. And he has his comfy pamper to begin with. He literally got hit with a feather.

He sobs harder and I know whats coming next, as I hear the bangs on the door. He's doing it on purpose, and I know what he wants.

"Harry."

"Go away Louis."

"Why is it Ethan Crying??"

Louis shouts through the door and Ethan raises his head off the pillow. He turns to stare at me and I shake my head, my son throwing himself back on the bed and whining.

"Because I spanked him. Now leave. He needs his afternoon nap."

"Harry Styles, how dare you lay a hand on him!!"

"Louis LEAVE."

"Daddy! daddy!  dada give me owie."

"HARRY."

I turn to Ethan and he's staring me while he kneels. I gasp at him and shake my head.

"How dare you tell on me"

"Daddy! Daddy!  give dada owie too!!"

Ethan climbs off the bed and begins to run to the door while I attempt to do the same. I reach him in time and carry him before he gets to touch the handle. He squeals as I blow raspberries into his tummy and Louis is still whining through the door to let him in.

I dont.

Instead, I swing it slightly open so I can step out with Ethan laying across my shoulders. When I turn, he has that little triumph smirk again, and god, how much can one inherit traits for Louis.

As I step out the room, Louis is rubbing Ethans bottom like a sick worried mother and the sight is amusing.

"Are you okay bear? does it hurt?"

"I didn't hit him that hard."

"You shouldn't hit him at all Harold. He's a baby."

"A baby that threw my wallet at me. He got what he deserved. You wont do that again, right peanut?"

I place Ethan on the floor and point at his chest. He nods before placing a kiss on my cheek and turning to Louis. 

"Upsies! Upsies!"

Ethan makes Grabby hands and Louis falls into his trap. Getting swiped off his feet, Ethan giggles and shakes his head.

"Dada."

Ethan looks at me and I hum, waiting for another response.

"Dada."

"Yes baby?"

Ethan turns to Louis and begins to poke on the tip of his nose. Louis laughs and goes cross eyed while he sticks his tongue out.

I laugh along too. That is until

"My daddy too."

Ethan kisses Louis cheek and I feel my eggs and toast crawl up my throat. Louis smile slowly fades as he tries to avoid eye contact with me.

This is what I was trying to avoid.

There's an unwanted silence in the hall, and thankfully, Only once, I am grateful for Edwards appearance.

He is walking towards us and he smiles, for whatever good reason crawled up his arse today.

"Uncle Ewa! Uncle Ewa!"

Ethan now makes Grabby hands at Edward and Louis face looks so betrayed as Ethan switches to his arms. He wraps his arms around himself as Edward greets Ethan.

"Whats up little man? Guess what?"

Ethan simply smiles, and I'm amused because he has no idea what's probably going on.

"Were spending Louis birthday back home. ur going to get to see actual snow this Christmas."

Home.

"No."

Is the first thing that comes out my mouth with the idea, and Ethan just shrugs, not knowing. I turn to Louis and he doesn't show any emotion.

"Harry, cmon. At least let Ethan visit back his family back home. He's not fully american, you know that. He's made with all British genes."

"They seen em before, we're staying right here."

"Cmon. It was Louis idea. He wants to visit home."

I shift my attention towards Louis and he's red, pretending as if this wasn't already planned without my opinion on it.

"Then let him go. Ethan has nothing to do with it."

"B-But I dont want to be away from him."

Louis now speaks timidly and I feel my blood boiling. What god above have I upset so bad enough to deserve this punishment.

I glance at Edward and he has that damn smirk plastered all over, I am really surprised it wasn't him from the beginning.

"It'll just be a couple of days though no? you'll be fine."

"No. I mean......I-I don't know. What if Ethan......like, what if he doesn't let sleep you at night when im gone. who will be there to take care of him. you have to come."

Louis rambles on and I shake my head, keeping In my laughter.

"Ethan will be fine,.won't you Ethan? Is it ok if uncle Lou Lou goes bye bye for a couple of days."

"NO."

"But Eth-"

"NO"

"Et-"

"Daddy no bye,bye! Daddy no bye bye!!"

"Ethan. Dont be selfish, its your d.....um."

Edwards fucking beaming now, as if he didn't despise this at the beginning.

"Uncle Lou Lous birthday. He wants to go out and celebrate."

"Cebwate with dada. Cebwate with me."

"Ethan...."

I frown when I see Ethan switching over to Louis and Louis grins like mad, back.

"See Harry. We have to go together. Its the only way to keep both us happy."

Ethan holds on tighter to Louis and pulls off his puppy eyes off, Louis beside him remimicking his actions. I scoff at the unfairness of this battle, two pairs of cerulean eyes fighting against one green.

Edward chuckles in the background as both Ethan and Louis plead, me in the middle of the hall, resembling a lost cause.

Louis squeals the second I roll my eyes and begins to run away with Nathan in his hold.

"I guess I should start pac-

"IM GOING TO START LOADING BAGS ON TO THE CAR."

what the fuck.

i barely said yes..

********

The plane ride is what it is.

I try to ignore the way Louis looks with Ethan sleeping in his arms all the way there, cuddled into a blanket like angels.

********

I stare from the bench as Louis slides down the slide at the local playground back in Cheshire with Ethan between his legs. Both my boys giggle so loudly, they scare all the other children away. 

*******

I growl back at William and Edward as their camera phones keep snapping as we walk through the park. It's not a big deal Louis and I are walking Ethan, hand in hand.

**********

The sight is magnificent really, the way I look down at Ethan between my legs and his teeth are chattering with how cold the ice cream is. I tried to convince him it wasn't the best time for it, but ill let him learn himself, enjoying the way his rosy cheeks are burning, similar to Louis, as he consumes it.

**********

When we finally arrive to greet the family, I realize a little too late WHERE weve gone.

Im sure my face is ice white as I everyone greets Louis again back home as well as Nathan, and im too busy staring at something more special into the distance.

Turns out Anne's cabin on the beach was the place selected to spend Christmas and Louis birthday.

Bad choice.

"Harry darling"

Aunt, not even Aunt Meredith any more, pulls me into a huge hug as I get off the back seat with my suitcases. By the way she grimaces, I can tell something is bound to go awfully wrong.

it does.

"The whole family is here Harry, so space is limited. Just thought I'd let you know, you'll be rooming with him."

Great

"Bu-"

"And William mentioned Ethan cant sleep well unless both of you two are with him so guess, this turned out all right. I love my nephew, trust me, but id rather not hear him all night."

Aunt Meredith kisses my cheek and I nod my head sarcastically, not even surprised this is happening.

Not even surprised.


	34. Chapter 34

****

Saturday, a day before Louis birthday, is nothing like any of us had expected. 

And by nothing, I meant the weather was more disappointing than getting your chilli cheese fries order with no cheese. or chilly in this situation....pun intended.

The sun is out and on full display, rays so fucking powerful im sure I can cook some eggs on the sidewalk. so much for a Christmas with snow.

All my....his nieces, cousins, family are in the ocean, building sand castles like there's no tomorrow and tanning on the shore of the reservoir. There's a barbeque going on with all the ladies spilling the latest gossip. Casual.

Me and Ethan sit a little distant from the rest and I let him bury my feet. He seems amused by the ways my toes peek out the sand, and tries repeatedly to hide them. I play along, and it's enough to get him to forget about swimming in that water that can contain many diseases.

Although it looks sparkling blue.

It concerns me.

Edward and William are playing football in the water, shouting at Louis who stands and watches.  
They try to get him in but Louis doesn't budge, arms crossed against his chest while he laughs at William splashing Edward.

He turns around and I catch his gaze. He looks startled getting caught, but in the end, smiles, looking at Ethan. I smile back, courtesly, and he turns away like if nothing happened.

It's been awkward the past couple of days sharing the same room, or at least for me. When they mentioned sharing a room, I had not pictured we would be sharing the bed too.

And that's how I ended up having to place a pillow to separate the contact. Ethan sleeps against my chest, and the item is placed in between my son and Louis, just for precaution. I refuse to let him attach himself to someone who will not be present in his life, and so far, the cards aren't in my favor.

I continue to place the pillow although we end up waking like a sandwich, with Ethan in the middle holding onto Louis, Louis onto my chest, and I onto Louis back.

It's not intentional.

It just.....it is what it is.

"Louis, get in the water before we bring you in!"

"I-I am I am. Just.....hold on."

I watch as the younger boy approaches the water and only dip his toes in. He stares into the blue for a while before looking up and shaking his head. He steps back and Edward shouts.

"Well!? Come on."

"Alright!"

Louis begins to step in and William laughs, along with Antoinette and Gerald, our....his distant cousins.

"What are ye doin lewis. take your shirt off,.gonna get it wet."

"N-No im fine."

Louis yells back and kicks the water on the shore, waving at them.

"S fukin hot mate. you sure?"

"Yes. I-I dont want them to see me....you know. The N word."

Louis isn't subtle at all as he glances over at me, making me want to crawl in a hole and die....

 

of laughter.

William and Edward seem to be thinking the same thing because they stare back and point right directly in my direction.

"ey 'arry! Lous calling ya a creep!"

Edward mocks at me and Louis shrugs, not even denying the false accusation. I dont bother, deciding to play with my cards.

"S not a big deal. NOTHING I already haven't seen."

I wink at Louis and all hell breaks loose, our...louis cousins not making it subtle at all to what im referring too. 

Louis stands in the middle of the water dumb founded, widened eyes as he looks around. He steps out the water and I feel a little bad once I see him running towards me.

"daddy!"

Ethan squeals next to me as Louis hovers above us. He quickly smiles at him before turning to me and changing colors.

"W-What do you mean by that."

"By what."

Louis glances back like if he's being spied on, and whispers, as if they really care about our conversation.

"What do you mean, 'Nothing I already haven't seen'. Y-You seen me.....with out.."

"Done more than just see you Louis."

It comes out more cocky than I wanted it too, but it comes out nonetheless. Louis gasps and covers his mouth, shaking his head.

"B-But...back then-...I-I was like Fourteen!"

"That never stopped you."

I smile up at Louis and if I thought he looked like pink lemonade before, now he's a fucking fruit punch drink.

"I-I was that type of ......person.?"

"Not necessarily. I like to think I brought it out of you. So...you're welcome."

I nudge his knee in a friendly matter and turn back to Ethan who's halfway buried my legs.

"Did we....um."

I look back up at Louis, and he's a flushed mess. Sweat is dripping down his head, fringe plastered on his skin, while tomatoes replace his cheek bones.

"Did we what?"

"William and Edward...they explained to me....you know....the stuff men that like men.....do. Did we do....uhm......"

I should probably answer the question, seeing as I know what he's so hard trying to refer to, but I prefer to cause a little suffering.

I watch as he stutters away for minutes before I release him from his misery, and kind of answer the question. He looks so embarrassed now, it takes every sense of control to not laugh.

"Are you asking if we did the naughty Louis?"

Louis goes up in flames.

"Uh..Yeah?" His voice cracks halfway, and I swear, I never thought anyone's voice could be High as Ethans

I bite my lip and turn to glance at my son, which best answers his question l, but remain quiet, knowing I can't say, 

Well fucking duh, how else would we have made this little mischievous sassy boy, trying to bury me alive.

"Are you breathing right now?"

"Well duh. What kind of question is that?"

I say nothing but wiggle my eyebrows at him, watching as his face slowly changes once he's realized, he's answered his own question.

"A-Are you serious?"

"Why would I lie."

"But I was fourteen!"

"I told you, it never stopped you."

"You could have stopped though!!"

"Last time I recall, you were moaning the opposite."

Louis takes a step back and tells me to shh, before dropping on the floor and covering Ethans Ears. Ethan stares up at him and giggles away, covering his eyes too, as if we have a forbidden secret.

"R we payin hide an seek daddy. count to tree."

"We'll play right now baby, hold on. I need to tell your dada something."

Louis covers his ears again and mouths, 'you should be ashamed!'

"for what?"

"you're going to ruin his innocence."

"like yours?"

I can't help the way, I burst out in laughter as Louis gapes. He is halfway frowning, and face palming at the same time.

"Y-You were my first. I-I trusted you that much?"

"Apparently, yes."

"I-I Dont...understand."

"What dont you understand Louis?"

"You. You are confusing. I-I just....."

Louis pulls away from Ethan and I can sense the hesitation again. He is deciding wether he should put me in the good or bad guy category in his list.

This time, I dont mind if im in either, knowing what role I actually play.

"How am I confusing you?"

"Cause you act so...."

"So what?"

"Good. o-or at least seem good."

"Seem?"

I scoff and Louis shrugs, slowly nodding.

"I dont know yet....I-if you were a good boyfriend."

"When did I ever say I was?"

"I don't....I just dont know if you're lying....about us..."

"What kind of person would lie about being in a relationship and somehow, manage to get their partners whole family involved in it. You gave me your virtue. We've done other stuff actually, lots of stuff im sure if you could remember now, we wouldn't even be on this beach just arguing. We'd be in that same water, skinny dipping before I took you right there and then over and over till I made sure the water turned white. I have your name tattooed on my heart, and Ethan is......."

Louis looks in pain, and I draw my line at my son, just waving him away as he pretends to play the innocent victim.

"I'm sorry I cant rem-"

"Save it Louis. If you don't trust me, that's on you."

I wobble under the sand until I manage to set myself free, ignoring Ethan pout as I destroy his master piece.

"Dada."

"Lets go shower peanut. it's that time of the day."

"Harry, can we talk."

"No."

I snatch Ethan off the floor and begin to walk back into the cabin with my son on my arms. I dont turn back, not really feeling the whole proving myself thing all over again.

******

The next morning, it seems like the pillow finally did its job right.

Louis wakes on his side, while Ethan and I, wake on ours.

******

Its around 7 in the morning, Christmas eve, also known as Louis birthday, when me and Ethan rise from the dead.

aka sleep.

The whole house is quiet, Louis included, and no sound echoes from any corner of the house.I make my way around the place silently with Ethan in my arms and decide on heading out to the beach, where I know the sunrise will soon emerge. 

On our way out, I grab two bananas for a quick morning snack and a blanket so me and Ethan can sit on as we watch the beauty unravel in front of our eyes.

Ethan remains quiet as we watch the rays of sunshine in silence over the horizon, how the colors in the sky change from red to orange to pink to blue and other colors of the rainbow.

Being in the same sand as well, memories come flashing in, and I wonder if sitting where the huge bed was once placed, was such a good idea.

I close my eyes after I look at the waves crash peacefully into the shore, and reminisce that unforgettable night, I will never regret in my life.

I can see the way his milky skin shines under the moonlight, the beads of sweat rolling down our bodies as we move in the same rhythm. I can still picture his stretched out lips as beautiful whimpers escape, and the way my skin feels when he claws his canines into my neck for some type of release. I can feel the burn in my back as he scratches roughly when I bury myself in deeper, and feel the way my stomach coils when I remember how warm and tight he was around me.

Under this same sand, we made love, and my whole soul feels somewhat connected to the place. 

 

Once I look down, the bulge In my pants is obviously noticeable, but good thing, Ethan is too young to know.

"Do you wanna know a secret peanut?"

I look down at my son and he flutters his eyelashes at me while he eats his banana. His blue eyes are truly radiant, and I can almost see Louis in him every time I do.

"I made you here, on this beach."

Ethan doesn't do anything but smile, and continue eating his banana. 

He looks out into the horizon again, and I hope that little smirk on his face represents, how proud he is of his dad, for hitting the jackpot, at the age of seventeen.


	35. Chapter 35

There has been tension in the air all morning and I figure I might have crossed the line yesterday afternoon.

Louis wont even glance at me and hasn't spoken to Ethan all afternoon. He keeps his distance from and although that is what I wanted, I can't help but feel guilty for seeing my son more crankier than usual.

Don't let him get attached.

This is for the best.

"You dumbarse, just fucken tell em already. We tried to keep you apart so he would go to school. But look, he dropped out to babysit Ethan."

Edward drops a box on the bed and shakes his head.

"What is this?"

Its fairly big, but light. I peek in and realize what he's kept over the years.

"Have you bought Louis a present?"

"No."

"Then here ya go. Let his birthday present be the truth."

I scatter everything inside the box and debate it for a moment, turning over to see Ethan laying down on the floor not playing with his toys. He looks fairly down, and I know it's because Louis hasn't paid any attention to him.

"Think about how this will affect his future. Growing up with only parent has never been easy. The only reason I could handle it, was because I had william and mom was never that far. Ethan only has you if you dont let Louis into his life."

It angers me how much he tries now to act like the problem solver, when he was the main source in the first place. If it was up to me, I would have put all the truth on the table and see where life took it from there.

Now were stuck in a web full of lies and it has slowly over taken our lives. Pretending I was never affiliated with this family before Louis is crap because they were once mine, but there's nothing good in that truth either.

"He turned 18 today Harry. He's in charge of his decisions now. Me nor William have any say in what he does. Well....at least in America when we go back Tell him."

"You act like if it's so easy to just come out with it. He doesn't even believe the story we tell him now."

"Why should he.....it's not real."

Edward shrugs and yeah, that makes sense but it shouldn't.

"C'mon. You missed the feast already. I know you dont want to join the celebration, but you can at least come celebrate Christmas. Avoiding Louis isn't going to solve your problems."

"Im not avoiding him. It's vice versa."

"So you're telling me, he's been moping around all day because he's been avoiding you, willingly."

"Yes."

Edward rolls his eyes at me and I flick him off. It doesn't make sense, but I haven't done anything. If I knew he was gonna take what I had said the previous day so seriously, I would have stuffed a sock down my throat right there and then.

"Harry."

"You know what, just take Ethan. He hasn't been with Ethan all day because I've been around."

"You take him his child. How about a 'Happy Birthday Louis, this is our son, and throw in a merry Christmas while you're at it too.' 

"Haha fucken funny Edward."

I grab a pillow off the bed and aim it at Edward as he runs out the room. He escapes unharmed, but I vow to myself I well get him back before this vacation ends.

"Ethan baby, come lay with daddy."

I pat the empty space next to me on the bed and Ethan slowly raises off the carpeted floor. He raises his head and frowns at me, and I ponder at what ive done wrong.

"Ethan."

"Wiar. Daddy in kichen."

it takes me a while before I realize what he means and there is not much I can do to change the way he interprets us. I sigh and get off the bed, walking towards him in the corner of the room.

Once im hovering over him, he makes grabby hands and I pick him up. It's not that he can't walk, but he loves being carried.

Another mini pregnant Louis.

"Sorry. I meant come lay with Dada."

"Daddy come bed too?"

"No. Louis is celebrating right now. It's his birthday."

"I wanna go daddy. wanna celerating wit dada an daddy"

Frowning,I decide, there is not many more options left. Its been months of trying to convince him, Louis is not his father, but im sure he knows. I curse the day I began to show him Louis, but what can I do.

I never would have imagined the day, Louis would awaken again.

"Fine. Just let me wrap daddy's present."

"Daddy yay!! no ucle lulu."

I turn to glance at Ethan and scowl, noticing the obvious.

"You do know how to say Uncle Lou Lou. Ethan Nathaniel, Have you been fooling me this whole time."

Ethan avoids eye contact and hides behind his two little small hands. He shakes his head and covers his eyes, little lips curving in the corners into a devilish smile.

"Etha no here now."

"You little Liar!"

I carefully throw him on the bed and began to blow raspberries into his stomach until his loud giggles claim surrender.

"Dada no mo! no mo! tickes! tickes!"

"Are you gonna lie to me again?"

"No!"

I continue until he begins to scream louder, one kick almost close to coming in contact with my face. I stop and give him time to breathe, loving the way when he smiles, Louis resembles all over.

"Why you lie to dada. You knew how to say uncle lou."

"cus Dada. Lou Lou no ucle. Lou s my daddy. u tell me. lou s my daddy. daddy lou."

I know I did,

I just wish he'd forgot.

****  
****  
****

"Happy birthday Louis."

The smaller boy flinches as I come behind him silently, Louis clutching his chest as he leans back on the kitchen counter.

"HARRY."

"Appy biday daddy!"

I help Ethan hold the gift box from the bottom, and Louis hesitantly takes it before smiling. Peanut claps his hands and Louis imitates him back, before staring down at the box and shaking it.

"Thank you bear, I dont know what it is, but im sure ill love it."

"Ope daddy! Ope!"

Louis stares around the kitchen and im glad its empty. Everyone was in the living room last time I checked, and I hope it stays that way. 

I can't help but take notice Louis isn't reacting as strongly as he was before to the parental word, and I dont know if thats a good sign or not.

Louis merely glances at me and places the box on the counter. He tears the wrapping paper I finished putting on 5 minutes before, and stares in confusion the first thing on the top.

"W-Wha?"

"wike it daddy? wike it?"

Louis holds up a sheet of paper with three squiggly lines on it and nods, before turning to Ethan.

"Did you do this bear?"

"yes daddy. dada gave me cowos!"

"Its lovely bear. Love it so much."

Louis stares back at the paper and I cant help but chuckle in amusement. He glances back at me and grimaces.

"For your information, that's me, you, and Ethan. You see the one smaller than the other two? that's him."

"Wike it daddy?"

Peanut points at it, and Louis is standing with his mouth wide opened.

I had done the same.

"Oh my gosh bear, I love it."

He clutches is to his heart and opens his arms to our son. Ethan reaches out also, and I end up giving him the opportunity to hold him. I try to act like if there isn't any tears in his eyes and look away. 

My heart melts when in the corner of my eye, Louis peppers kisses all over his face. Ethan does the same on his cheek, and hugs him tight.

After minutes of cuddling, Louis looks back into the boxes and furrows his eyebrows in even more confusion. He dips his hand inside and brings them out into the air. He stares at them, and I can feel my heart racing, thinking, This Is It.

"What are these?"

"Letters."

"Whose?"

"Mine."

"Why are you giving them to me then?"

"Cause you were the one who wrote them."

 

I can feel my face burning, but I ignore it, anxious to know what he's feeling. He looks inside the box and his eyes widen more, picking more up with the free hand that isn't holding Ethan.

"A-All of these?"

"Yeah."

He searches through the whole box of kept letters and im not surprised when he picks the golden one.

"This one is sealed."

"I wrote that one today."

"Oh."

Louis puts it back in the box and bites his lip, looking around to everywhere but me. 

"So......do you want me to....read these?"

"I would like for you too, yes."

"Oh.......we'll ill see."

I can hear my heart slowly curling up into a ball and shattering, but I ignore the sting. 

I cant force him into anything and I will never do so.

"Oh....okay."

Ethan is glancing between us both, and I can sense he's feeling the tension because he starts to slowly whimper. I put an end to it as soon as it begins.

"You mind if I leave you Ethan for a bit. Im going out for some fresh air."

"No of course I wouldn't mind. You go on ahead and do whatever you need to in This place. Always have before, no?"

Louis says all too friendly and I don't respond, not sure what he means.

"Um...okay?"

I press a kiss to Ethans cheek and walk myself out the door. When I glance back, Louis looks upset, and Ethan utterly confused.

Im not sure what ive done, but I do need some fresh air right about now.

*********

I walk along the coast of the west side on the beach and smile at the remaining pieces of our love, not,convinced what im seeing is real. 3 years and the rose petals remain on the sand, although all dried up and pitch black.

There is some vases still that remain from the candles I used to illuminate the, 'Will you go to prom with me?' rose petal sign, and wow, my family does not clean at all.

The candles are withered of course, and some of the glasses are broken. I pick up the pieces and place them aside on the rock, not wanting any one to get cut while were here.

The small private area of this beach brings peace to my soul, and I feel eternally grateful I can always come here for peace and deep thinking.

Memories come flashing and I remember once again, how complicated times were before, but not as they are now. How simple me and Louis made things when they were beyond complex, and now, we can't even handle greetings. 

Things have changed, and not for the best. The only blessing I have received is Ethan, and even then, I feel like there's still a missing piece.

Him.

Speaking of him, I am surprised to see him running towards me in the sand before launching himself at me. 

I fall backwards onto the sand, and receive what I believe, was the most unexpected surprise ever.

A big, hard, slap to the face. 

He's breathing hard and he's red, and if this was his reaction to the letters, I have no idea what else to do.

"You're sick!!"

I take a closer look at him, and I can see the tears streaming down his cheeks. He takes another hit and I dont know what to do but lay and take it.

"You think I forgot, but I didn't! I hate you Harry! how could you!"

"H-How could i what? Ow!"

I receive another slap and watch as Louis fists at my shirt. He's harmless really, but I let him have his moment because I am truly, utterly, confused.

"You never answered my question about Ethan! Who the fuken hell does he belong to! I heard you this morning on the beach, you made him here. you made him in my own mothers home. My mother's! I know you cheated on me because Ethan was made when we were dating. How fucken disrespectful of you to make him in a place that belonged to my family!"

"Y-You heard me?"

He hasn't read the letters, its clear, but how the hell did he hear me.

"I didnt feel Ethan next to me so I had to see where he was. I came outside and I heard you, you....you....you poophead! How could you!"

Louis fists at my shirt again, and I can't help but feel so many bottled emotions come out at the same time, I choose the worst one to show.

Ignoring the death stares im receiving, I choose to laugh, choosing to pay more attention to his choice of insults and the idea of the only one who I screwed here was him. I choose to pay attention to his actions too, memories flooding in of the first day we arrived at L.A

"What are you laughing at?! It isn't funny!"

"It is. You're acting hormonally pregnant again."

"Im acting what?"

"Pregnant."

Louis gasps and smacks my chest, shaking his head in disbelief. I cover my mouth to choke back my laughs, but I fail.

"W-Wha.. Wait, what do you mean again? Did I act like this all the time?"

"If by this, you mean Bitchy, then yes. Those last months, you were a crying, angry baby on legs."

"I was not!"

"You were too!"

"Liar!!"

"I swear on my life. 'Harry, why the fuck did u change the channel. Harry, why are my eggs scrambled, I asked for an omelette! Harry, massage my feet! Harry, Stop talking already! Harry, why are you ignoring me!! Harry, why haven't you washed my clothes!!!! Harry, this is the wrong detergent, why dont you ever do anything right, I hate you so much!!!"

I mock his squeaky voice at the age of 15, and I can see the surprisment written all over his face once I finish part of his imitation.

"I-I said that?"

"That and way more. Hit me all the time too. Think I still have a little scar on my shoulder of that time I bought you the wrong pack of m&ms and you bit me, claiming you were hungry and you weren't gonna eat the chocolates because they weren't the ones you had asked for."

"I-I...."

I bit my lip and muffled my laugh as Louis slowly untangled his hands from my shirt, looking a little guilty, for starters.

"I loved every second of it though."

Louis looks down at me more confused than him opening the gift box and hesitates between shaking his head and nodding.

"What do you mean you liked It?!"

"I loved little feisty Lou. Loved when you were so bitchy all the time,and out of your place. Wanna know what was my favorite part?"

"What?"

His curiosity was equal to permission and before I knew it, the planets were aligning. The shooting stars came out of their caves and time stopped.

The breeze increased and ocean waves came crashing down on the shore harder than before. The birds sang the melody of the remembered and the torchs went up in flames.

I stared down in awe at the huge, fresh, purple bruise on Louis neck while he raced to catch his breath. He was no longer on top, with my whole body hovering his on the sand, legs spread out and on either side of my thighs. All our clothes were present, and the position was compromising, and his body shivered as I pressed my clothed bulge against his ass.

He said nothing as I dived in again and devoured his neck in bites and kisses. With arms wrapping themselves harder around my neck and pulling me towards him as if his life depended on it, I knew he knew. Leaving a trail of wet kisses on the way, I traveled up to his ear, where I nibbled on it before whispering quietly,

"Angry sex."


	36. Chapter 36

"hold on, hold on. are you sure you don't want to do it in the beach? there's family inside, they might hear."

"I don't want no sand inside me now hush and hurry before I change my mind."

I am surprised to find myself being the one running behind Louis, hand entwined in his as he holds on tighter. He smacks the tree vines and bushes repeatedly, clearing our path back to the house so willingly and in a hurry.

It's such a unexpected sight, but it only makes me want him even more, knowing he wants this as bad as I do. He's desperate, needy, and who can blame him after about 3 years of abstinence.

We make it back to the porch and notice everyone is setting up outside a small campfire. It's the perfect opportunity for me and Louis to run inside, unseen, although most likely not unherd.

As we shut the door, he turns around and jumps high, our bodies merging together as I instinctively grab him by the bottom of his thighs and smash him to the wall. He breathes out loudly, and I smash my lips to his, devouring what was once,

and still is mine.

"Harry."

"I got you, baby."

I peck him one more time before lifting him up higher and beginning to make my way through the halls. Louis kisses my neck all over and I do my best to caress him back.

We stumble slightly around, but before I know it, I am kicking the door to our bedroom closed, closing the last remaining gap between our bodies with the bed.

"Louis."

I pull back and lift my shirt over my head, abandoning it on the edge of the bed. Louis stares up, eye widened, and pulls me down from behind my head. 

Smashing our lips together, I bite his bottom lip and use his gasping as an chance to slip in my tongue, savoring his sweet, exotic taste. I hear him hum In approval as I explore all his walls, his tongue mimicking my actions while I part his legs wider and wider.

I tug at the bottom of his shirt, and things then change, feeling his hands slip away from my hair to mine. 

"N-No. I-I dont want you to see."

Louis covers himself and I can see the hesitation written all over his face. 

"O-Oh. Should I close my eyes?"

"N-No. um. H-Hold on."

Louis lifts himself up from the bed and I see him walk over to his dresser. He pulls out the worst thing he can, and heads over to me, placing it on my head.

"Really? A sleeping mask?"

"Please. I-Im not ready for it all. please."

The last thing I see is Louis guilty blue orbs before everything goes pitch black.

"Can you see?"

"Absolutely nothing."

I sit in the bed still and become altered when I hear shuffling coming from beside me. There's sounds coming from everywhere, beside Louis mouth. Tempted, I feel to take the stupid mask off, not knowing why I shouldn't be able to see everything.

I've seen him all.

He will never get less beautiful than he already is.

Nothing will ever change my mind about that either.

From whatever direction im facing, I began to feel Louis little hands beginning to unbuckle my pants and I help him out.

I hiss as I feel the cold air hit my skin once the briefs come out, hearing my semi slap against my stomach. I can hear Louis breath hitch, and not meaning to be cockyy, but im sure it's because he's seen the size.

Time passes before I feel Louis hands on mine, guiding them towards what sees him. Im still left in the dark, but I can feel the warmth of Louis skin as he leads them down his chest and sides.

I can feel my own mouth watering when I hear Louis breathing begin to intensify, as im set free from his hold, and I let my hands roam all over. Im sitting on the edge of the mattress and I can feel the outside of Louis thighs between my legs, which makes me just squeeze them tighter into me.

I let my fingers pull at the hairs at the nape of his neck before sliding down his torso, pinching at his hips and landing on the sinful dip of his back. I hear him squeal as I use my palms to cup both of his cheeks and massage them.

My fingers slowly make their way down his entrance and I hear him begin whimpering in desperation. His body is calling my name and im tempted to there and then take him.

"H-Hold on."

"What's wrong?" I can't see him still, but I feel as he pulls away.

"We need the stuff to.. like protect us. Edward told me about it."

"Oh right. Lube and condom. First drawer, get the small foil packet."

There's a small silence and I don't know if he's trouble finding it. I hear the small cabinet open and close, along with a small whispers which fairly sounds like, m not even going to ask.

"Ok. so just rip that open and put it on me.,rub all the goey stuff on it. I'll handle the res-"

"What? No. I-Im not. I'm not ready to touch you."

I sit in silence and wonder, what the hell are we supposed to do then.

"Lou-"

"Just let me. Im putting the stuff inside me."

"Do you need any help?"

"N-No. Just hold on."

What I expected to be a turn off, turned out to be the most magnificent thing ever.

My blood is rushing through my veins as I hear Louis whimpers growing louder and louder as, I figure, adjusted the conndom and Iube inside himself. The picture of Louis biting his lip in concentration as he tried to get himself ready for me is obscene.

It makes me want him even more, that by the time he whispers he's ready and comes back between my thighs, I don't waste any time to pull him into my lap.

"H-Harry."

"I've missed you so much blue."

I smash my lips to his and kiss him passionately, endlessly, feeling my skin burn as he wraps his arms around my neck. I pull him closer, wanting to comfort him through it all.

"Are you ready?"

I don't receive a response, but I can feel the way he nods against my forehead.

I feel my heart racing as he clutches onto my back tighter, and I let one of my hands fall to grab the base of my cockk and the other, to Louis entrance.

I spread him apart and place the tip slowly inside. I kiss Louis harder as his knees tremble and I feel his finger nails claw themselves into my back. Once the tip is in, I bring my hands to his back and hug him as best as I can, feeling out of this world by the way Louis heat swallows me at a killing pace.

"A-Ahh. Ahhhhh. A-Ahhhhhhhhhhh."

"Oh god, L-Louis. Louis"

I push Louis further down on me and I can feel the vibrations of his moans bouncing off my mouth as I kiss harder, trying to ease the pain. 

Louis so tight, the conndom seems non-existent, and I can barely feel the sticky feeling of the gel. 

"H-Harry. Harry. H-Hazza."

"I got you baby. You're doing so great, y-you're so perfect."

It takes a while till I bottom out and I can feel Louis at my hips. His breathing is louder than ever, and if there's anyone inside the house right now, im sure they could hear him loud and clear.

"M-Move."

Louis whispers against my lips and as soon as I thrust up, I feel the sudden change.

Even though I can't see Louis, I know he's mindblown.  
I know he's mindblown by the way the next move, is initiated by him.

He pushes me back onto the bed and I scream in ecstasyy when he begins to pleasure himself by bouncing up and down.

"H-HarryHarryHarryHarryHarryMoreMoreHarry."

\--------------------

"YES YES. YES. HOLY CHEESEBALLS YES."

Im STILL in the dark, but I know I have Louis in a compromising position. 

"OH YES. OH MY . OH HARRY YES."

Louis legs are on either shoulder of mine as I pound him into the mattress. I have him bent in half, screaming my name so this whole family can hear who he belongs to, who has his heart, who made his child.

Me.

I feel a sting as Louis suddenly yanks the mask away, and I am met with such a filthy, exquisite sight. Louis damp hair is stuck to his forehead, sweat glistening all over his chest and shoulders while his face has officially decided to change color. He's completely flustered, pupils dilated as I slam myself in deeper.

"H-HARRY. HARRY. HARRY. HARRY. BABY, HARRY."

"LOUIS FUKEN LOUIS. SO TIGHT. SO GOOD FOR ME SO,BEAUTIFUL. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.,OH FUK. YEAH."

"YEAH.,AHHH. YEAHH. MMM. LOVE. UHHH. UH YEA. YEAH!!"

Louis throws his head back and I almost die at the sight if his collarbones, which are perfect to take a tequilaa shot.

He's got his mouth in the perfect shape to fit my.....

Oh, he's beautiful.

I look in between our bodies and feel my stomach do back flips when I notice the line across his waist line. Ethans birth scar remains, and I realize, it's what he's been hiding as he let's go of my back and uses his arms to cover it.

"D-Dont look at it. I-Its hideous."

Louis looks close to crying but I stop him, smashing my lips to his and shaking my head. 

"It means more than you know. I love you Louis. And you 

uh

will

uh

always

uh

look

uh

perfect

uh

to

ME"

"HARRY!"

I press our foreheads together and feel the sensation, extraordinary, as his whole body and mine shake in unison, our climaxes surpassing us, and making me fill him inside as he does the same between our stomachs.

Slowly, I pull out and kneel before his spread legs, leaning down to what I should have done in the first place. I lower my face to his abdomen and place a kiss to the c section scar, looking him in the eyes as I do, wanting him to know this little battle wound has given me more than I could have ever asked for.

My heart feels complete as a tears roll down his cheek and I am there to kiss them away. I look down again between his legs and notice the missing piece, heart racing now twice as fast.

"Oh Fuck."

"What?"

"Daddy?"

My heart stops as I turn towards the door and Ethan is standing in the doorway with widened eyes. 

"OH FUCK"

"ETHAN!" Louis screams and pushes me off of him, desperately tugging at the sheets to cover himself. I aim for the pillows and cover my parts, feeling like the worst parent of the year.

Im sure now, I've scarred him for life.

"Peanut, look away!!! Close your eyes!!" I shout but he doesn't budge, glancing at Louis

"Dada, wha you do!"

Ethan runs towards us and climbs on the bed, even though me and Louis are in the nude. Louis looks like he's seen a ghost as Ethan hugs him and places a kiss to his face, his own little way of giving comfort.

"Daddy, did dada give you a owie too?"

I am seconds from passing out, because this is not just happening.

"Dada! Why you give daddy owie. bad dada! bad dada!"


	37. Chapter 37

"Ethan. The thing is........ this is....... normal."

"you cant be serious."

"When two people are attracted to each other, they get.....urges."

"Harry, he's 2!!!"

Louis covers peanuts ears while he kneels beside him on the bed, shaking his head. Ethan glances between the both of us, and I can't help but frown, Lou foiling my plan.

"Louis."

"You can't seriously be giving him 'THE' talk. He's two Harry, he has no idea what half of the words you are saying."

"Well I have to do something!! All he's seen so far is me making you scream."

Ethan looks cautiously at me, and I dont want him to think i hurt Louis on purpose. This required work from both sides and he isn't taking any responsibility for his part.

"Harry, Ethan barely knows how to talk, he's not going to understand. Just hug him and kiss him, im sure it wont be engraved in his mind if we dont make it such a big deal."

"But it is."

Louis removes his hands from my sons ears and I feel my stomach sinking as he eyes me up and down, afraid. 

He's silent as he sits next to Louis, who's hiding under the covers his tan, marked up skin. I still remaim with the pillows although ive stolen some of the sheets too.

"Bear. Is there something you'd like to say to your dad?"

Louis asks and Ethan glances between us both repeatedly.

"Dada hurt yu. me cwy. me cwy for daddy."

"NoNoNo Ethan."

"No bear, your dad didn't hurt me."

I try to reach out for Ethan but he pulls away, sinking more onto Louis side. His reaction hurts, but Louis immediately pushes him away, towards me.

Ethan looks hesitant until Louis moves next to me on the bed, before grabbing the sheets and covering us up as he sinks back down onto me.

I bite my lip as I feel the heat again, feel his back against my chest and his trembling thighs on mine. He's still so wet inside I cant just continue to use my come as lube, but I hold myself together, knowing were here to prove a point.

We're obscured by the sheets, and I wrap my arms around Louis chest as he takes a deep breath and leans back.

"D-Daddy?"

"S-See Ethan. H-Harry no hurt me."

"No owie?"

Ethan stares at me and I press a kiss to Louis cheek, trying to prove to my son im not out to get him. He furrows his eyebrows in concentration for seconds before smiling and giggling, throwing himself at us. 

He lands on Louis lap and Louis lets out a loud moan as Ethans Weight makes him bottom out all the way.,Ethan eyes widened, but Louis plays it out by laughing and petting his hair. 

Ethan seems to buy it because he gives both me and Louis kisses before moving away from us and going back to his corner of toys.

"Okay daddy. me no give dada owie for you. dada good."

"Y-Yes. G-Good."

I can feel Louis heart beat through his skin as he remains still with me stuck inside. We sit still on the bed, sheets covering the nudity, as we monitor Ethan playing on the ground.

"D-Don't you dare move. The second he turns, get out of me."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Harold."

"Alright Alright."

I remain inside Louis for the next five minutes until Ethan decides, he wants to take a potty break, and Louis leaps off the bed, running to the restroom where I hear him come with a shout and I do the same in my palm, hearing the beautiful echoes.

************

 

"I regret it Edward. What if he doesn't take it well? What then?"

"You already gave him the letters Harry. Now you just have to sit and wait until he reads them and processes it all."

"But what if he doesn't take it well!!"

"I dont know Harry! It's up to him."

"It shouldn't be."

Laying on the beach coast with Edward, I stare up at the stars and wonder when did this all become a hundred times harder than it was before. I tip the bottle and let the alcohol run through my system, feeling like a lost mess on two legs.

"I mean, really, he's bound to find out sooner or later. Better now than ever. did you at least explain to him what happened."

"Yea. The last letter, the sealed one, I confessed it all. I explained everything since the first day he appeared at my door."

I can still remember that pure, innocent face stumbling upon my room. The way his alarmed eyes realized, he had crossed the lines into my space. Those beautiful blue eyes filled with fear, yet wonder.

"Then there's nothing else to do but wait. Even if you took the letters back, it's not like he's not going to realize where his scar came from. You made sure of that."

I think back to that fucking moment, and wonder why the hell did I let him be in charge of it.

"I-I just. I dont know what happened. This is partly your fault!"

"Me? I don't recall being the one who took him to bed."

"But you failed to do that one thing right!!!"

I raise my bottle and chug it down quickly, not wanting to think about this so soon.

"Harry."

"Edward, I know this changes everything. He already hasn't spoken to me since Ethan caught us. I haven't even had the chance to tell him a proper happy birthday. Sleeping with him......I-I think I made a mistake. It was too soon."

"Don't blame it all on yourself, Harry. He knew what he was doing, he knew what he was agreeing to when he spread his legs."

"dont TALK about Louis that way!"

please, it just makes me want to be in between them again.

"Im just saying."

"Are you forgetting he has the developing mind of a 13 year old."

"Actually, a little older. I filled him up with everything he needed to know about the recent years. I'd say hes a average 16 year old."

"But you didn't do it efficiently!"

"I already said I'm sorry! I mean......what if what you're fearing doesn't come true. What if you're just imagining all of this cause you are scared and you are in a post sexwhateveritscalled state of mind. It's been 3 years since you have been with Louis."

"But he's already stopped talking to me!.I-I should have took things slower."

"If he likes you as much as you like him, he'll come around."

"You think so?"

I turn towards Edward and he seems serious, nodding before passing me another bottle. I thank him and look back at the sky, asking for any sign that everything will be alright.

"Im sure Harry. Give him sometime."

 

*********

By the end of the week, My worst fears come true.

Louis remains distant and Edward mentions he's only gotten the chance to read the first 6 letters. All he can see from me is the rejection, and I hate that beyond that, I could see more.

It doesn't take a mad scientist to realize what's going on, and Ethan isn't helping the case any better. He's been whining and crying since Louis refused to sleep with us, not wanting to put Ethan in natures harm ways.

Louis merely glances at me in the halls, and before I know it, I'm boarding the plane with two whining boys, Ethan crying because Louis doesn't want to hold him.

Fuck my life.

He needs to read the last letter now.

SOON.


	38. Chapter 38

"You have to talk to me sooner or later, you know.

"What is there to talk about?"

"Oh I dont know.....maybe about the fact that you're ignoring me or you're purposely trying to avoid Ethan."

"Im not avoiding him. I--I just don't feel well, that's all."

"Really? or is it because you haven't finished reading the letters and you think we're related right about now."

I corner Louis in the kitchen and his cheeks visibly redden, cereal bowl in his hand trembling as I take a step closer. He shakes his head and nods consecutively, and I don't know which response I should take.

"Louis."

"Harry, I-I can't read on. This is so messed up! I-I ...We did it. We're related, what the hell is that!"

"We're not related Louis!"

Louis eyebrows furrow and wow, if he'd just read the letters, I wouldn't have to take so much time to explain. I groan and rub the space between my eyes, getting a minor headache. Louis still looks concerned and I dont blame him, Although the solution is in that box.

"Bu-"

"Louis, that story we gave you in the hospital was nothing but bullshit. I didn't meet you through your brothers, I met you through my used to believe, mom."

Louis places the cereal bowl back on the counter and waves his hands, telling me to step back.

"You're right, this is all bs."

"Louis, im serious."

"Why should I believe anything you said? You said it yourself, this is all bs."

"It wasn't my idea to fucking lie to you, it was your brothers. I just went along with it because they said telling you the truth would minimize your chances of graduating and going to college, something I failed to do."

"But I didn't go. That was a waste"

"Exactly. that's why im telling you now."

"Oh, so that makes it okay to lie to me."

"Shit, no. that's not what im saying."

Louis pushes past me and I follow behind, ignoring his attempts to shut the door to his room in my face. I slam it open and watch as he flinches with my grand entrance.

"Leave."

"At least hear me out. We're not related okay."

"Then why are my first letters directed to you as brother. And why was I begging you to come back? What did you do?"

"What I do?"

I scoff and remember screams coming from the hospital bed, the smaller boy enraged with me for something he had the fault in.

"What did I do? It was you that made me leave."

"How would I ever do that? I've been trying to do so, and you still dont budge."

Louis tries to joke around with the situation, but it's not working in his favor. I still remember his idiotic actions, and the thought of not being here, right now, if we had been even a tad seconds late.

"Look at your fucking wrists and tell me if you notice what shitty idea you had back then."

Louis rolls his eyes and scans his right wrist, shrugging until he turns to look at the left, and stops. He stares, eyes widened, before looking up at me and placing them back by his side.

"I-I did that to myself?"

"Yes."

And to Ethan as well.

"We went to the hospital that night and you'd completely broke out, told me to leave and never come back. Told me you didn't ever want to see me again, that we could never be together.

So I left. Came to America for a new life. But you ended up regretting your actions. And I decided to stay here and not give in to your letters because everything had gone to complete shit with you."

Louis blinks and takes a deep breath, taking everything in.

"What do you mean gone to complete shit? Were we a....really bad couple."

"Not necessarily. Like I said, I met you through your mother who I thought was my mother at the time. When I was just a little kid, Anne was pregnant and when she gave birth, her child got kidnapped. It took her years to find her kid, and I didn't know that when she told me she had adopted a new child, it was actually her real son. You. Your father and Haley were accomplices, and that's why your first mum is now in jail. Haley isn't in jail because she robbed a bank, she's in there because she stole you. When we began our messing around, I thought of you as some random kid from the orphanage who would soon leave. When I find out you were that brother that got kidnapped, we were both completely shattered. We had done so much and we both wasted away, fighting against the sins we had committed. However, it turns out, I was never part of the family. My mother was never Anne and we have different dads. The first letters you've read so far are only the ones where we both thought we we're related. I didn't know you were not my brother when i left, and when you harmed yourself, I knew the line had been crossed. You were so angry and I never understood until afterwards. After wards it all made sense."

I blink after telling only the brief summary and feel wet liquid running down my cheek. I wipe it away and turn to look at Louis, who has his face covered with both hands.

He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his hair, anxious of what could be. 

"T-That cant be true. You're such a great Liar Styles."

"Im not lying, ask your brothers if you want."

"Why should I? According to your story, I can't trust them either."

"They were shitheads back then, I know. I hated them so much, but I was 17 with a child on the way. There was nothing much to do. They were actually the ones to encourage me to tell you the truth, since you know....you didn't even follow the path they placed for you in the end."

 

Louis shakes his head and begins to walk backwards, raising his hands in defeat.

"T-This is so messed up. Instead of you guys helping me recover my memory, you have been toying with it. You guys are shit."

"Lou-"

"Just get out!!"

"Louis please."

"GET. OUT."

Louis grabs the pillows from the bed and begins to aim them towards me, while I let them hit me. He sees how useless it is as I walk forward towards him, turning away from me and running.

He slips from my grip and locks himself in the restroom, where I hear him sob loud before more heart breaking noises.

I rest the back of my head on the door as I slowly slide down it, knowing this one was on me.

"Im sorry Louis."

He doesn't respond back.

He doesn't because he can't

*********

*1 Week later*

Louis has no plans of recovering of what he lost in the past, and its easy to tell.

Seeing the box of letters unopened and in the trash, is enough for me to dwell.

*********

"Wha is dis dada?"

"Nothing peanut, dont touch anything."

"Dada, dis looks like what you put in daddy."

Ethan grabs the toy off the shelf and the middle aged woman at the cashier box, looks up with raised eyebrows. I shake my head at her and snatch the toy out his hand, throwing it back.

"No Ethan."

"You have dat dada! me too. but me liddo."

"Ethan, please shut up." I place a Palm over his mouth and I get a smack to the head. Louis is glaring at me, and I glare back.

"Don't curse at him."

"Well do you have a better way to quiet him down." 

"anyway is better than telling him to shut up."

I ignore Louis and stop pushing the cart. Louis gets behind it and begins to push Ethan, while I look for William so we can get the hell out of this place.

"William, did you get what you were looking for. This place is already messing with my childs head."

"Are you sure its the store?"

William peeks his head out from the isle and wriggles his eyebrows, finding the situation two weeks ago amusing Still. I flick him off and he snorts, before beginning to look more through the lingerie section.

"Hey, it's not my fault I let my child walk in during some steamy, hot se-"

"Shut up!!"

"And it's not my fault he recognizes the things in the store."

"Can you just get Williams birthday present so we can go. Louis already pissed I told Ethan to shut up. I need to take him to build a bear."

"Build a bear?"

"Yeah. Louis told Ethan they we're going to build a bear so he could build a bear out of himself since he's a bear."

William raises his eyebrow at me and I raise my hands, thinking the same exact thing.

"I know I know, but I didn't chose that stupid nickname. I call him peanut."

"Yeah, because that's such a better name than bear."

William laughs and walks towards me with a red thong, not that I am interested in. We both head back where Louis and Ethan are touching stuff on the wall, Louis eyeing a small box cautiously.

"What you looking at little bro?"

William sneaks behind Louis and the smaller boys flinches, hitting William in the chest for scaring him. 

"Ow."

"Don't do that!"

"What? I can't ask you what you're doing?"

William teases and wow, that's where the smart ass talking comes from.

"Ha ha, real funny."

"What you got there?"

William snatches the box and I approach them closer, seeing as Ethan is making Grabby hands so I can take him out the seat.

"I was looking for some balloons for Ethan. He's getting irritated."

"So you're just going to blow cherry flavored condoms up and use that instead?"

"W-Wait what?"

Louis eyes widened and William laughs out loud, Louis staring at one of the opened foil packets in his hand.

"You dirty liar. If you want To have some more fun with Harry, all you gotta do is ask. I have some more at home. But since you already opened this box, were going to have to pay it anyways."

Louis cheeks go up in flames again, and I feel the pit of my stomach scrunch.

"Oh my, No. I-I swear I-I didn't kn-"

"It's fine, but just don't let Ethan play with them."

"No chewwy bawoons?"

"Ethan, how about we go get some ice cream."

I pinch Ethans cheek and his eyes lighten up, nodding his head enthusiastically while he claps. What a gorgeous boy he's becoming, and im delighted he's finally beginning to gain some of my traits.

He might still have Louis blue eyes, but his hair has now curled up in the ends and changed from dirty blonde to brown.

"Yea dada! Ice cweam foh me!"

*********

The ice cream shop is closed in the mall, but we take a detour and end up at a yogurt shop, Ethans second favorite snack. 

He eats it happily while he clutches his new teddy bear by his side, fixing his suspenders every once In a while. I love the little touches he made and although his choice of vans for shoes on the bear was disappointing, he at least has a stylish bandana on it.

"So what did you name your bear, Ethan?"

Louis asks across the table as he munches on his Choco yogurt.

"Beary."

Ethan slurs through his strawberry covered mouth, and William laughs, shaking his head.

"You remind me of your creative father, Ethan."

"Heeeeey."

I throw a spoon at William, and Ethan giggles, giving me a high five. I place a kiss on his cheek and ignore the way Louis and William are laughing at me as I whisper in his ear

"that name was a beary good idea."


	39. Chapter 39

\----------

"Harry."

"J-Just one. Just one please."

"No. It took us months to get you out of your habit, were not starting again."

I groan as Edward snatches my smoke and throws it out the window, ignoring the fact that, it could have possibly burned the whole house down.

I roll my eyes at him as I throw myself back on the couch and blow out the remaining smoke that was left. The sunset is going down slower than the other days, and it looks pretty bad ass.

"Whats bothering you, mate? Thought everything was fine. Louis is talking you again."

I chuckle and turn to look at him, pulling my are you SERIOUS face. I dont think he understands though.

"it's not enough."

"Wh-"

"He doesn't want to do anything with me. with us. with Ethan."

"You dont know that."

"Oh I do."

I turn to gaze at the box underneath my bed, which he threw out with the letters. He didn't even bother to read after the 7th one, didn't feel the need to figure out how our story ended, how he came to be a father to such a magnificent child he is neglecting.

"I heard him yesterday. 'Ethan, dont call me daddy. im not your daddy.' Harry will get mad."

"Wha-"

"Ethan calling him daddy doesn't get me mad, his fucken rejection gets me mad! Ethan just wants his second daddy, but apparently to Louis, its not that important."

"Give him some time Harry."

"IVE GAVE HIM TIME. It's been 2 Fucking Years!"

"Harry, calm down. It's not good to be this way."

"What's the use anyway."

"Harry, you can't be acting like a child yourself right now. Louis or not, your main priority is Ethan. You think of him first."

"I am."

"Then get up off your ass, get that stinking wrench off you, and go spend time with Ethan in the living room instead of spending it In here just contaminating his air."

"I-It's not easy."

"Go. Go take a shower."

"I-I just."

"Cmon, let's go. I'll go with you."

"Really?"

"Yes, cmon. Lets go."

Edward entwines our hands and we head towards the shower, as 'friends.'

*************

No were not.

No were not friends.

All my worries are forgotten as I feel the rush of adrenaline shoot through me as im slammed to the wall. He's not Louis, but hes sure close enough.

His blue eyes aren't as bright as his, but they're close enough.

He doesn't whimper as much as Louis, but its close enough.

He fills me up inside and I sink my claws into his back, running them up, down, up, as I bounce on top of him.

He attacks my neck and I do my best to choke down my moans, not wanting the rest of the house to hear.

"S-So good."

"Y-Yeah. B-Big."

"T-Tight."

I run my fingers through his hair and before I know it, were washing each other clean in a little shame. There's bruises all over his back, but his neck is bare clean.

I can't say the same thing about me though, running my fingers through my hair when I notice my neck looks worse than his back.

"Oh fuck, im so sorry."

"What happened to no marks."

"Sorry man."

I step away from the mirror and decide, it just is what it is. I walk out the shower with the towel around my waist, Louis name tattooed across my heart, but Edwards love marks burning on my skin.

I feel no regret because I'm doing what makes me feel happy, and it would be hypocritical for me to say I didn't want it at the time or I was being forced into it.

I walk into the living room and notice Louis eyes squint as I approach him.

scratch that, Ethan.

"cmon baby, time to get you clean and go to bed."

"W-What's that?"

I ignore Louis as I pick Ethan up and bring him up to my chest, greeting him with a kiss hello.

"A-Are those love marks?"

"What's it to you?"

I snap, unintentionally, and turn away, heading back to my room.

If I can hear Louis cry himself to sleep that night, it's not my problem. He doesn't want us. He's made sure of that.

\--------------

"Are you a fucken idiot! Really! Both of you!"

William hovers above me and Edward in the living room, while we sit next to each other on the couch. This is so embarrassing, and I feel like a 16 year old getting a lecture by a lame ass parent, which I shouldn't be getting since im grown enough to make my own decisions.

Louis is standing behind William crying, and I keep forgetting, his brain has not completely wrapped around the fact that hes not 13 anymore. There is no need for snitching.

"Are you two insane?!"

"You're over exaggerating William." I murmur and he scoffs.

"Are you kidding me."

"What do you want us to do William, apologize for having sex. it's a natural thing. im beginning to think you forgot what it is."

Edward jokes and I give him a small fist bump, which he returns and we are rewarded both smack to the heads.

"You think this is funny?? Edward, this is your little Brother. BROTHER. and you."

He points right at me

"This is the love of your life."

"To hell he is. He's made it clear, he wants nothing to do with me or Ethan."

"I-I haven't told you any thing."

"Exactly. It's just not that important to you."

Loui wipes his eyes and begins to sob. Im glad Ethan is sleeping, because I would not be able to deal with 2 children.

I watch as Edward gets up off the couch and takes Louis into his embrace, then younger boy a little hesitant before giving in.

"Im sorry Louis, we were just caught up in the moment. He's been having a tough time lately, and you're not necessarily making it easier. Im not saying its your fault.....it's just, he needed a little tension breaker."

Louis nods as he covers his face, and William and Edward hug him harder. By the way William glares at me, I know its my turn to say something. 

"We'll leave you two alone."

Fuck. No.

William pulls Edward away and they walk out the living room. Im still sitting on the couch, and Louis fixes his fringe, rubbing at his eyes. 

He merely glances at me before he breaks down again.

"You know I didn't cheat on you right . We weren't together."

"Y-Yea. I-I know. B-But that doesn't mean,you can sleep with whom ever."

"It does actually."

"Well I don't want you to."

"Im a growing man Louis, I have urges."

"Well, that's why you have me! You have me!"

The wind is knocked right out of my stomach as I watch Louis crawl on top of me and perch himself on my lap. He wraps his hands around my neck and begins to kiss me desperately, needy for any attention. 

Its an unexpected surprise, but for once it's good, his whining vibrating against my skin making me want more. 

"Y-You have me. I-Im here. I-Im here."

Louis is a damn roller coaster, and I know why.

I waste no time to push him off me and place him on the couch laying on his back. He's breathing heavy as I ask no permission to take his pants off, with ease pulling down his underwear too.

"H-Harry."

I snatch both pieces of clothing and throw them over my shoulder as I lean down and spread his legs apart.  
He attempts to cover his scar again, but I hold his hands against his sides as I kiss it repeatedly before leaving a trail of wet love marks all down his body.

He whimpers as I suck tiny kisses on the inside of his thighs and bury my nose in his teenage developments. He smells exquisite, and without hesitation, I let go of his arms and use my hands to raise him off the couch, where I utilize the angle to bury my face in between his cheeks.

"O-Oh my!"

I lick a fat strip at his entrance and rub circles on the edges to open him wider and wider. He yells and yells for more and I do as he pleases, dipping my tongue in and out until I can see him losing himself.

His fingers bury in my hair and push me down, close to suffocating me, but I love it. Love how much this magnificent person has given me so much.

Using all my strength, I pick up Louis from the back of his thighs and keep him close to me as I lay back down on the couch and he rides my face.

I can see from the small corner of my eye as he looks down at me, completely wrecked. I dip my tongue deeper and deeper and he begins to whine more.

"I-Im CLOSE. Ah AH AH AH AH. OH NO. No!"

I come out for air and notice what Louis is talking about, Ethan standing speechless at the door entrance.

Again.

"Harry, let me go."

"No."

"Harry, he's watching."

"If he's smart, he'll know he needs to leave. Now come here precious."

I yank Louis back on my face and dip my tongue, feeling the walls oh his hole clench around my tongue. He's so hot, so warm, so perfect.

"H-Harry...ahh...He's still there."

"Don't care, now look away and be daddy's good little boy and ride my face."

I tighten my grip on his thighs and Ethan is soon forgotten as I slip in a finger with my tongue

"YES. YES. YES. YES. OH. DADDY. YES. YES."

Louis comes with a shout, and I feel the warmth in my pants drip as Louis does so all over his shirt. I remove my tongue from his now wet and stretched hole, and bring him down to sit on my lap.

He puts on his underwear, only, and. I lead him back to my bedroom, where to no surprise, Ethan is laying in watching tv.

He glances at us as we step inside but says nothing, but I'm not worried. We step into the shower and wash each other clean, with no shame.

When we get out the shower, I can tell Ethan is ready for bed. He's got his teddy in his hand and favorite blanket.

"Stay?"

I entwine my hand with Louis and he nods, walking with me towards the bed In only the towels wrapped around the waist.

"Ethan, you mind if Louis sleeps with us."

"Daddy sleep with beary too?"

"Yes."

"Yay!!"

Not too scarred then.

Louis climbs onto the bed with the towel on and I see him place a pillow in front of his parts when he removes it and throws it on the ground. With Ethan placing his back against Louis chest, Louis hugs him and beary while I shut the tv off.

 

I head towards the lights and shut them off too, removing my towel when I know Ethan can see e absolutely nothing. Behind Louis, I slip in and place a bed sheet above all of us while I wrap my arms around both my boys. 

Louis turns his head slightly, and im able to sneak in a French kiss before we drift off to sleep, even though it took a while because Louis bare bum was tempting.

*********

"I can see right through you, you know."

William speaks as I throw myself on the couch the next morning. Louis is still asleep with Ethan, because it's 6 am, but apparently, William wakes up at this time everyday because he's a fucken weirdo.

"So, are you going to tell me or you're going to make me guess."

"What is there to guess?"

"Many things. I just wanna know what you're planning to do."

William sits next to me on the bed and I dont know. I truly dont know. I thought I had pulled it off, pulled this whole act off.

But he had to be the fucken smart one.

"H-How'd you figure ou-"

"At the mall. As soon as he said it, I realized why the hell you wanted to get out of there. My god Harry."

"It wasn't my fault okay."

"Really? You expect me to believe that?"

"No.....just needed some type of......I-I just..."

I can feel Williams around me and I don't hesitate to let it all out, let the tears fall like water streams.

"There There."

"I-I don't know anymore William. I-I dont know what to do."

"We'll get through this Harry."

"No. No we wont. Louis ......Ethan.....He doesn't understand William, it scares me. What if it doesn't work out. What if Louis decides one day, Ethan isn't the center of his universe like he is to me. What am I supposed to tell him then."

"You need to tell him yourself everything. No letters, no indirect ways. just sit down and tell him before its too late and he realized himself. He will feel worse if he knew you knew and you never said a thing. We've lied to him enough."

"Im not ready."

"Not ready for what?"

"For his reaction William. What if he leaves. He can't leave now."

"He won't leave Harry."

"What if he does. Then what?"

William presses a kiss to my temple and I cry harder. I've made the situation ten times worse now, and I have no way of turning the clock back now.

"What if maybe he actually isn-"

"He is Harry. He is."

I look into his eyes and I can see glimpse of what he's had to deal with. What i should be dealing with.

"He's gonna leave us William."

"He wont."


	40. Chapter 40

"Daddy."

"Dada."

"Daddy."

"It's Dada."

"No, daddy."

"Ethan."

"Daddy."

"Ethan, its Dada. Dada!"

"Daddy cawed you Daddy. You are his daddy?"

Ethan shuffles on the bed, and I immediately regret letting it slip last week on the couch. He won't call me by the correct nickname anymore and it's frustrating to know who he's talking to when me and Louis are in the same room.

I groan and throw myself on the bed next to him, trying so hard not to give up.

"Yes, but that's not the point. I am your dada."

"You are Daddys daddy. You my daddy too. You big daddy."

Ethan claps his hands and this child, is not growing up in the right direction. 

"Don't you ever say that in public Ethan."

"Why daddy?"

"Because....,you don't understand."

"I no stand? I can st and. See."

Ethan uses his hands to lift himself off the bed and begins to jump on the mattress. I chuckle as he tries his hardest to jump as high as he can, looking like an energetic frog.

"I jump too!"

"calm down you little monkey."

"five widdo monkeys jump on bed. one fel dow an 'gave some head."

"ETHAN."

"Daddy caw docto an docto said. no mo monkeys fall an give head!"

"Ethan baby, no. No baby, dont sing that. Its wrong."

"S not a song daddy. S book."

"Who read you the book, its all wrong."

"Daddy did."

I hear the door close silently behind me, and I furrow my eyebrows at Louis who has his hands raised.

"I swear, I didn't teach him that."

"Give some head? Really?"

"I said hit head!"

"Then where is he learning that....inappropriate action at such a young age."

"Ucle Edwa sing to mee too."

Ethan claps his hands and begins to sing again, me and Louis slowly turning to each other like we can't believe we didn't realise earlier.

"Louis."

"Im already on it."

********

"Edward, come in here pls."

"You're not in the nude are you?"

"NO."

Louis stands behind the door and clasps his mouth quiet and shows Ethan to do the same. Peanut is very bad at it, but he's got the pack of eggs in his hands, and that's all that matters.

Edward walks in and I stay seated, holding the item behind my back as he glances around the room, not being able to see Louis and Ethan. He knows im up too something, and I take that as my cue.

"3 little monkeys jumping on the bed."

I began to sing and he furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

"One was a bad uncle and got....egged!"

"Wha-"

"FOR SPARTA!!!"

"SPADA!!! "

 

Louis slams the door shut and Ethan runs around Edward throwing eggs and missing horribly. Its amusing to Edward not getting hit until Louis joins in and aims correctly every single time.

"Ow, what the hell!"

"Don't curse around my bear!" Louis throws one directly and his face and the yolk splatters everywhere, making Edward back away.

"Louis!"

"And don't teach him wrong things either you prick!"

I open the bag of flour and dump it on his head hearing him let out a string of curse words before screaming.

I take that as my cue to evacuate, carrying Ethan out the room and pulling Louis along by the hand for a safe place.

"THIS WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN STYLES. ETHAN DROPPED HIS BOX OF EGGS."

"Ethan!"

I turn to Him and he shrugs.

"Heavy."

"Oh shit, Harry, I don't want yolk in my hair. I just combed it."

"Then run to the car!"

We get a glimpse of Edward walking out my bedroom and we all scream, before we make a run for it.

"WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS. I DON'T EVEN RUN."

"STOP COMPLAINING, AT LEAST UR NOT CARRYING ETHAN."

"Faster daddy, you slow!"

"Heey!"

Louis is the first one to step out of the house and I flinch as I see a egg hit the wall besides the door frame.

"COME BACK YOU CHEATERS."

I slam the door closed and head towards my range rover. Louis climbs in and I do so on my side, Ethan still in my hold. I lock all the doors and laugh as Edward comes out the house running and flicking us off. Louis is a mess and Ethans in a giggle fit. 

He throws eggs repeatedly but were safe inside of my vehicle.

Ethan sticks his tongue out at Edward and I give him a high five.

"That's my boy."

"ahahaha. daddy. ucle edwa is a egg head."

I laugh and nod, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"that's egg-sactly what he is."

I give myself a mental high five too soon, seeing Louis shake his head at me, covering his face while he muffles his giggles.

"You are horrible"

***********

"But guess who's birthday is coming up!!! The Big 21!!! Harry, are you ready to hit up those clubs man! you'll finally be able to d-"

"Do what I was doing before legally? Yeah, how exciting."

I snicker as Edward looks offended I shut his enthusiasm up too fast, too soon

"Now now. Just because you're turning 21, doesn't mean you can being to act out." William comments on the subject and I snort.

"Ok dad."

"Is Ucle William da-"

"DONT. ETHAN NO."

I regret the joke immediately, but Ethan seems to understand im being 100 percent serious. He covers his little lips, and I lower the finger that was previously pointed at him.

Louis chuckles in the corner of the living room and shakes his head, before continuing to eat his pickle covered strawberry ice cream.

"Damn Harry, chill."

"I don't need my child to get more confused on what the term is."

"Whose fault is that."

Edward wiggles his eyebrows, but I ignore him, getting a little touched what bigger thing Is happening soon.

"You know what i really looking forward too? Ethans Birthday...My big boy is going to turn 3 in a couple of days, and In a few months, off to preschool. you're growing up so fast peanut. slow down."

"I no no how to daddy."

"it's okay baby, I don't mind."

I bring Ethan up to my lap and he lays down on my chest, while the twins coo at us.

"I already know, my nephew is gonna be such a heart breaker. It runs In our genes." Edward jokes, and I feel the blood rush out my face.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

Edward You FUCKEN SHIT.

I turn to Louis and he's finished licking off his spoon, eyes set still on Edward as he finishes laughing and quiets down. He glances at us both and if looks could kill, he'd be in a box before I even blinked.

"Edward, brother. Just because Ethan gives you the title, doesn't mean you are."

Louis remains quiet as he watches the twins interact, William glaring right into Edwards soul and Edward be coming a stuttering fuck up mess.

Dammit Edward.

"O-Oh yeah. I mean....Im just saying. He's a handsome lad."

"Course he is, he is my son after all."

I try to remove the tension from the scene and it seems to work, hearing Louis giggle in the background as he pours a ketchup packet onto the ice cream cup and fonds at Ethan.

Smooth Move Styles.

\--------------

"My god."

"Y-Yeah."

"S-So strong. f-fuck."

"H-Harry."

"Love your thighs. So thick."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Yeah. Please."

"what?"

"Just crush me with them please."

"What the he-Harry, stop being a weirdo!"

I feel a smack to my head and I come out for air, seeing Louis blush spread across his pale cheeks.

"Im not a weirdo., I just love your thighs so much."

"Well can you be a little less weird about it."

I suck the thirteenth bruise onto the inside of Louis thighs and shake my head, kissing the skin as I smile up at him.

"No. Just love them so much. I can live here all my life."

I grab a hold of them and massage them gently, feeling the warmth that surrounds them and the amount of thickness they contain.

"I-I just. Please."

"Im not crushing you with my thighs Harry."

"No, that's not what i want. Look, lay back."

I push Louis back on the bed and unzip my pants, taking out my cock and placing it in my hand. I watch as Louis peeks interest and spread his legs apart widely, although I shake my head and close them instead.

"Harry please. We haven't....in like forever. it's been forever since the beach."

"I have something better. Just, hold your thighs closed for me baby."

Louis has been so needy and I love being the tease.

Louis complies and I get my way in the end, fuckeng the space in between Louis thighs and watching as he gets aroused by the sight of how red and wet his thighs become after we both shoot our load to them.

**********

I didn't mean to scream at Louis for getting a job, but I had no other option at the moment I found out.

He said he planned to get a car and house on his own, and it makes me sick to my stomach he isn't willing to find out the truth of what happened in the past. He doesnt know this house is to his name, the cars are to his name, he owns one more property back in the heart of L.A., and moving out, would mean leaving behind his unknown son.

"Louis stop crying."

"Y-You screamed at me!"

"I know, I know im sorry, but you're not getting a job"

"do you not love me?!"

"I love you Louis, but you're not working."

"Liar! You're worse than the bird who left its eggs in the nest and never came back at the park! I hate you!"

"Hating me isn't going to change anything."

"But I don't."

Louis screams louder, waking Ethan from his sleep and locks himself in the restroom while I try to convince peanut Louis just had a bad nightmare. It takes a while before he falls asleep again, and by the time I unlock the rest room door with the spare key, Louis asleep on the toilet hugging a roll of paper.

"Everything is going to be fine, Styles. " I murmur to myself.

Everything is going to be fine.


	41. Chapter 41

*

[Louis POV]

"Daddy, come fine me! "

"I Will Bear, You just watch. No hiding spot in this house is a match for me!"

I muffle my laughter as I enter Ethan and Harry's room, for the sixth time this evening. I can assume by now that this room is his favorite hiding spot, and by the way I hear his little laughs coming from behind the door, I am definite on my thought.

"Ready or not, here I come."

I open the door slowly, just in case he's behind the door, and im met with a sight of a clean, spotless room.

No Ethan.

"Im looking for you Bear. Im gonna find you."

Tiptoeing quietly, I head for the closet as my first choice of hiding spots, since he was in there for half of the times we've played today. I swing the door and yell

"aha!"

but met with the sight of his clothes neatly folded and not a curly haired boy in sight.

"Smart little bear. Don't think im giving up."

I hear a giggle and turn around as fast as I can, aiming to look underneath the bed. 

"Aha!"

I am once again, met with the sight of no curly haired little boy running around with birthday cake all over his mouth.

"where are you, you little clever bear."

I see a movement under the glass coffee table at the corner of the room, and Bam.

I found him.

I bite my lip as I try not to laugh out loud, and run towards the piece of furniture. I sink to my knees in excitement and am glad there is rug all over this room, because it's February, and it's still a little chilly   
to be on bare tile floors.

I slowly crawl underneath the table and regret the decision when I notice whatever is moving underneath the towel, is too small.

"I FOUND YOU DADDY!"

I hear Ethan scream behind me and I flinch upward, feeling the sting at the back of my back head while I hear glass shattering all around me.

"DADDY!!"

"Bear...G-Get back."

"DADDY, ARE YOU HUWT. I SOWWY DADDY. I SOWWY"

I grab the back of my head and oh sweet corn, it hurts. It hurts and Harry's gonna skin me alive for breaking the table. I look up and notice, there is no table top any more but the borders that were holding it up.

"Im sowwy daddy"

"Its ok bear. Just step back."

I look back at the cloth, and its flat now on the floor. It wasn't like that before, but that's not my concern at the moment.

I pull from under the table and shrug all the glass off me, signaling Ethan to move away so he doesn't get hurt.

"Daddy, you okay?"

"Yes bear. J-Just hit my head."

"You bwoke daddy's table."

"I know, but dont tell. please?"

"No tell daddy?"

"no."

"Why?"

"He'll get mad."

"Will daddy give you owie like last time on bed?"

Oh no. I feel horrible still for that afternoon in my mums cabin for letting my guard down and not knowing Ethan was at the door. He's not supposed to have those images in his head, and although Harry thinks it's all a joke, it's not.

"No Ethan, and don't think of that anymore. please."

I take my jacket off and use it to cover the shattered glass for now, taking Ethan in my arms and heading for the exit.

"Okay."

"Don't tell your daddy we broke the table."

"But you alweady know."

"No, your real daddy. Harry."

Ethan pulls that face again, and that's the second thing Harry's been taking as a joke, too lightly. I don't want Ethan to confuse me for a parent when I know someone out there, will eventually come back, and take their rightful place. I can just feel it..

"You are daddy."

"No."

I poke at his nose and begin to head outside, where the remaining of the crowd stands.

Harry threw Ethan a birthday party today, but he's spend it more times playing with me that interacting with the crowd. I know it's not good for me to isolate him from the rest of the kids, but I can't just leave him by himself when all he wants to play is hide and seek and no one joins him.

I place him down on the grass, and point at Harry, who's talking to some woman I heard him call Rosey They're talking in deep concentration, and I find this a perfect time for Ethan to interrupt, Harry getting too comfortable tonight with the ladies.

"Go with your daddy bear. but dont tell him about the table. it'll be our secret."

"secwet?"

"Yes secret."

I raise my finger up to my mouth and he imitates, his eyes shining as he begins to laugh.

"Love you Daddy."

"Uncle, bear. its Uncle."

Ethan frowns and shakes his head, before running off and the little ball of curls disappears in the crowd.

I see a small dog run across the lawn, and that settles it. I need some ice on my head soon.

\------------

"Louis!"

I flinch and slam the door to the fridge, closed, the words coming out my mouth faster that I could process them, myself.

"It wasn't me!"

The boy raises his hands and looks around the room, before turning to me and laughing. I realize he isn't Harry, and let out a huge breath I didn't know I was holding, laughing lightly too.

"Well hello to you too."

Aiden shakes his head and I stutter on my words, deciding after a minute of trying to talk, to hug him hello instead. He takes me in his arms and I feel like falling asleep for a bit, but decide against it

"Hello Aiden."

"Hello Louis. Fancy meeting you here."

"Well i kind of live here."

I point out and he laughs, before excusing himself and continuing to politely laugh. He looks way different than I'd seen him before when I had first woken up from the hospital.

Edward had said we were very close friends before I had slipped into a coma, and after a day of talking, I figured out I could definitely see it, me and him liking mostly all the same things.

"It's been a while mate. you look good."

"Ditto Lou. See you dont have that cute little hair cut from before."

"Are you saying im not cute anymore?"

I gasp and fake being offended, seeing Aiden panic and shake his head faster than I closed the door.

"No, absolutely not. In fact, I think you got ten times hotter than the last time I saw you."

"Really?"

I raise my eyebrow and he nods. We burst out into laughter and I realize, I've missed him

"You mind showing me to your couch? Think we have alot to catch up on."

"Its been 2 years, are you sure you dont want to eat first."

"I can wait."

***********

2 Hours later, I find myself halfway off the cushioned seat laughing at Aidens stories, which are filled with some sad, and some horrible stories off in New York.

"How are you not going to remember what you did the previous night before! that's crazy!"

"I know, it's so embarrassing. Waking up in a diaper with a baby binky tattooed on the inside of my thigh was not what I ever expected to wake up to."

"Life up in the cold states seem crazy."

"It is."

I laugh a little harder, and he does so too, taking another sip of the tea. The pain in my head is almost gone, but im trying to push aside my vision keeps becoming fuzzy every once in a while with laughter, and surprisingly, it works.

"Can you show me?"

I poke at his thigh and he looks appalled, smacking my hand lightly away.

"I am most certainly not showing you the pacifier tattooed on my leg. it's so horrible, wasn't even colored in right!"

"aw c'mon!"

"No Louis. Never!"

Aiden laughs and I let it go, giggling to myself how cool it must be to have a tattoo. I've always wanted one, but Harry never seemed to be so okay with it.

"So yeah, that's why you didn't see me for a while around. I was up there doing my usual shenanigans."

"Dont apologize for having some little fun. we all need it."

Aiden raises his mug to that and I do so too, taking a sip. It gets silent for a moment.

"So.....are you still with Brad..."

It's a stupid question, but I was anxious to know. The last time we had spoken, he was mentioning how brad was the reason why he would be taking a vacation, but no where in our conversation so far he had mentioned him.

"No. We broke up."

"Oh....I-Im sorry. I didn't kno-"

"Its fine. It was my fault anyway."

Aiden looks away before beginning to laugh. 

"What?"

"Guess why?"

I feel tempted to ask, but am afraid of the answer. What could be so funny enough to laugh over a break up.

"We were in bed right, and you know, when you're doing it, you just feel so overwhelmed and half of the time, you usually dont know what your saying or doing. you just want something inside of you at that moment and want it fast right?"

"Yeah."

I agree, because it is true. Half of the times me and Harry even attempt to do anything, which he never does since the beach, he just teases and I feel the need to just stick my hand inside of myself because it's just not fair.

"Well, it was in that moment, I was thinking of my favorite singer and my favorite song, and while I was singing 'Baby, Baby, Baby, Ohh.' in my mind, I didn't know I was moaning the singer's name while doing it."

I gasp and cannot believe my ears.

"You said Justin didn't you!"

"Yes."

"Oh my go-"

"And he didn't believe me when I said I was thinking of Justin Bieber and well...yeah."

"What the hell!" I am startled, but before I know it, were both laughing at the situation like its nothing.

"Oh my, im so sorry im laughing Aiden. Its just....the shit you do."

"I know I know. To top it off, its now one of my least favorite songs and it just...it wasn't worth it yo."

"Oh Aiden."

I laugh and he does so too, his hand landing on my shoulder for a second before pulling away. He is.truly hilarious.

"Man, I know how you feel. The same thing happened to me when I was younger."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How? Spill!"

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. 

What.

I don't know why I said that. Did that really happen?  
I look away from Aiden for a second and rub the back of my head, where I begin to see blurry images of a blonde head of hair on my bare chest. Blue eyes appear and I open my eyes, not knowing what I just saw.

"Louis? Are you okay?"

Aiden leans into me and He's centimeters from my face. He looks concerned too and so am I.

"LOUIS."

Another voice calls out my name, but is way rougher, way deeper, way more threatening looking a I look over the couch. 

Harry's standing in the door frame with his arms crossed and tapping a foot on the floor. I turn back to Aiden, and oh, this doesn't look to right.

"Ha-"

"Come Here. I need to speak to you in private."

"Bu-"

"NOW."

He yells a little louder and even Aiden moves away. I can feel my skin burning now, with fear and regret. I move away from aiden and whisper him an apology before heading the direction Harry's pointing at.

His room.

He walks behind me in silence, but I can hear his breath, and see the way the hand by his side is cringing open and close. 

I gulp as quietly as I can be cause no, he wouldn't dare lay a hand on me. 

We step inside his room, and he doesn't even bother with the door, telling me to get on the bed. I sit obediently and watch as he takes his coat off and throws it to the floor, before approaching me on the Mattress.

"Who do you think you are?!"

He pushes me back on the bed with his body and attaches his lips to my neck immediately. This probably isn't the appropriate time to say Louis Tomlinson, so I remain quiet, enjoying the feeling of Harry sucking my neck all over.

Feels so good.

So good, he's so warm.

"You're MINE." Harry growls before sinking his teeth right below where my ear is. I can already feel the purple bruise forming, and I couldn't be happier about it.

I gasp as he connects our mouths, Harry breathing into mine before he slips in his tongue and fireworks explode.

It's such a blissful moment, and I can feel how much Harry wants me this time. Maybe tonight, he'll take me again. He feels so hard against me as he parts my legs with his knees and rubs his front area all over my bum.

"Daddy, no give daddy owie! it was not his fawt he bwoke the table!"

Oh no.

"Bear."

"You did what?"

Harry removes his lips from mine and looks up to the corner of the room, where I can see from below how his eyes widened at the sight.

"Are you kidding me?!"

He looks down at me and back up, and down again, before rolling off me and getting off the bed.

Ethan, why.

Harry begins to walk over to the table and I sit up, noticing Ethan standing in the doorway a little red.

"Oops. Sowwy daddy."

"Ethan, I'm not your daddy."

"You are!"

"No Ethan."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now Louis? And you couldn't even clean it up because you were to busy making out with Aidfuck over in our living room!"

"I was not making out with him, dont you dare!!"

"Oh really."

I ignore Ethan beginning to play with Harrys coat as I stand up from the bed and begin to yell back.

"I WAS NOT. I AM NOT LIKE YOU HARRY, WHO CHEATS ON OTHER PEOPLE WITHOUT EVEN CARING ABOUT WHO YOU HURT."

"OH, ARE WE REALLY GOING TO BRING THAT UP RIGHT NOW."

"Daddy."

Ethan pulls on my pants, but I ignore him.

"I DON'T SEE WHY NOT, SINCE YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF SOMETHING THAT WASN'T EVEN HAPPENING."

"Daddy."

"ARE YOU SURE, BC IT DOESN'T REQUIRE TO BE THAT CLOSE TO HEAR ANOTHER PERSON WHEN YOU TWO ARE THE ONLY ONES IN THE ROOM."

I feel a tug again.

"Daddy"

"ETHAN. JUST WAIT."

"DONT TALK TO MY CHILD LIKE THAT."

"WELL DON'T MAKE ME. AND DONT TRY AND CHANGE THE SUBJECT. YOU KNOW IM RIGHT."

"YOU KNOW, ETHAN COULD HAVE CUT HIMSELF IF HE'D CAME IN HERE BC YOU WERE TOO BUSY FLIRTING WITH OTHER MEN TO CLEAN UP THE SHIT YOU MADE."

"OH DON'T YOU DARE PIN THIS ON ME. WHY THE HELL IS THERE A COFFEE TABLE IN YOUR ROOM ANYWAY, YOU DON'T EVEN DRINK COFFEE"

"Daddy!!!"

"SINCE WHEN ARE YOU A FURNITURE EXPERT HUH"

"Daddies pwease! you hurt my ears!"

"HARRY, STOP SCREAMING YOU'RE SCARING ETHAN."

"YOU'RE THE ONE SHOUTING!"

"AM NOT"

"DADDY!"

I turn and look down and notice Ethans holding the small leather looking pouch up. I recognize immediately what it is, and realize it's Harry's wallet.

"what bear? what do you want me to do with this."

"Daddy."

I turn it around, upside down, and open and close the flap fast, catching just a small glimpse of what is inside.

"Peanut, no!!"

Harry yells from across the room, and I open the wallet again, failing to close it this time when I notice there's a little picture in the clear flap portion of the wallet. 

My eyes land on Harry first, who seems to be laughing down at the round belly of a woman with a short hair cut who's laughing back up.

This must be his mother.

I take a little look closer and begin to try and compare her features to Ethans, and find it's hard to do because she's doing that squinting eye thing I do when I laugh and I can't see if she has dimples because she's laughing way to hard like I do and I cant tell if Ethans got her hair because hers is too short and just above the shoulders like I used to have it to be able to tell if her hair was wavy or curly and I realize before my heart can make another beat, that there is no woman in that picture, because the figure who is being held with Harry's arms around the big pregnant tummy is......

 

Me.


	42. Chapter 42

************

[Harry's POV]

Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan, Ethan

Ethan

WHY.

why my child wHY.

The stops have suddenly stopped ticking, the world revolving, my heavy breathing, my heart stopping. 

He's standing there with the photo of himself 8 months pregnant, and there's nothing the picture hides. there's love in his eyes, fond in mine, and Ethan in him, and the truth has finally been revealed.

"L-Louis. I-I can explain."

I try to comfort, but he won't speak, wont move, won't acknowledge Ethan pulling on his pants. He's holding the wallet lightly, and is doing nothing but staring right at it. I wonder if he debates if its fake, or what he I seeing is real. It's real, but now, how to explain?

"L-Louis. Say Something."

It feels like ages before he comes back to life from his universe, and I feel my face paling as he glances at me and says nothing. He has his lips sealed shut, and blinks before reacting unusual.

Anger rushes through my veins the second I see Louis pushing Ethan away from him,

"Daddy!!"

But the next, I hear my heart beating loudly in my ears as I realize he's moved him out of the way so he could collapse to the floor, the sound of his body hitting the floor making Ethan cry.

"Louis?!"

I approach them quickly as I can and notice Louis paralyzed on the floor, on his side with his eyes closed. 

"Louis!"

I lift him in my arms, but he doesn't show any sign of uncomfort.

"Louis?!"

"Daddy! Daddy!"

"Ethan hold on."

"Daddy! bwood!"

I am about to place Louis on the bed when I turn back and notice the carpet rug has a red stain. I lift Louis up so I can see for any damages, and the sight is one that can't go unnoticed.

There's dried up blood on his hair, and it seems the fall has re opened the wound.

"W-What the f-"

"Tabwe daddy! daddy hit tabwe. my fawt. my fawt. In sowwy!!"

Ethan begins crying and I can't handle this on all my own.

"It's not Your fault baby, come on. lets go find uncle eddie."

"What about daddy."

"Were taking daddy to his doctor so we can make him better."

"is he gonna go beddy bye again? I don want daddy to go."

Ethan cries as we walk out the bedroom, hand in hand while I try to carry Louis with the other. The thought scares me, and it worries me, it can come true.

"No baby, daddy will be fine. now go find Uncle Eddie."

I watch as Ethan nods his head and runs away, while I walk towards where I left my previous conversation before. She looks at me and her eyes immediately widened, dropping her drink and running towards me.

"What happened?!"

"I-I dont know. H-He's bleeding. Ethan said he hit the table and he just passed out. I-I don, W-What. should I do?! Do SOMETHING!"

"I don't have my equipment with me H-"

"What kind of a doctor doesn't carry around their shi...I just. ROSIE. JUST DO SOMETHING."

Rosie takes out a small little flashlight out her pants and immediately pulls my arm down so she can examine Louis eyelids. She pulls them back and I can see the very faint blue disappearing with the middle slowly changing colors.

"HARRY? HARRY??!"

"WHERE ARE YOU"

"I'm in here!"

I hear the sound of foot steps approaching and they stop at the doorway of the kitchen, where William covers his face and gasps while Edward looks shocked.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"Harry."

"I-Im not sure exactly, he's bleeding"

"From where?!"

"The Head."

"Daddy. is daddy gonna be good. im sowey"

"It's okay Ethan, it wasn't your fault baby."

"I scare daddy in seek an hide. I scweam boo! Daddy scweam an get owie! im sowey!"

"Baby, it wasn't your fault."

"Harry."

"Hold on, im going to tell all the guests if they can leave." William speaks up and moves quickly out the room.

"Should we lay him in your room to rest?!" Edward approaches as and I turn to Rosie, who's grabbed a hold of his wrist now and has a thumb pressed to it.

It takes me a while to process the fact she's called my name out of twice, and when we meet stares, she shakes her head and presses harder to Louis veins  
I feel the shivers in my body, and once again, I am called upon.

"We need to get him to a hospital fast. We need to leave NOW."

"Isn't it just a minor concussion?!"

"I don't know Harry, but it doesn't seem like it, his eyes are rapidly getting dilated and his heart beat is slowing down. We need to leave NOW."

"No! No, THIS can't be happening again."

"Harry, calm down."

"NO. HE CAN'T LEAVE ME AGAIN."

"HARRY, LISTEN TO ME."

"HE WAS GONE ONCE, WHY AGAIN. THIS ISN'T FAIR."

"HARRY, SNAP OUT OF IT AND TAKE HIM TO THE CAR."

"It's not fair!!!"

"Harry, we need to leave!!"

"But Willia-"

"Harry, take him to the fucking car right now if you want em alive. they're dying!" 

Rosie  shouts and Edward picks up Ethan almost immediately, afraid of Rosie himself.

"I-Ill text William what hospital were going to be at. L-Let's go."

Rosie puts her flashlight away and grabs her purse, taking her phone out. She taps quickly on to her dial screen and I fear whats going on by the speed she's handling things.

"Everything, get it ready now. All the tools, everything. Tell Dr. Shepeard were on our way."

She tries to whisper, but its useless.

"probably be dead by the time we get there so get the defibrillator ready. we're gonna have to Shock him, that's the only way."

"He has no other choice anymore."

I climb onto the car with Louis in my hold and try to stay the strongest as I can when Rosie enter backs into the car like she hasn't said,  good as dead. Ethans whining in the back, and all I can manage to do at the moment is look down at my beautiful boy and press a kiss to his lips, although he probably wont ever get to feel it.

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[Louis POV]

Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit.Shit

Aow. Ow. Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow. Dammit! 

My head is pounding and I can't see with this stupid bandage around my head, covering part of my eyesight.

Ow, this hurts, this hurts. IT HURTS.

"O-Ow."

I blink a couple of times and see white, white floating squares above me moving from left to right and right to left. They won't stay in their place and it's annoying me because I can barely see them. The light is too blinding and ow, why are the lights turned on!!

"P-Please."

"Lou?"

I recognize that as Harry's words and I quickly move my arms to whatever direction the tiles are coming from.

"O-Off. Off."

"What? The lights?"

"Off!- Ow."

I hear shuffling from somewhere, but thankfully, the tiles turn gray and I can go back to appreciating the grey shading.

"I-Is that better?"

"mhm."

I stare up at the grey squares and soon enough they become black, along with everything else I seen before.

********

I can't take it.

I can't take this silence.

I can't take seeing Harry look so dead in front of me, while he slugs on the chair and monitors to check if im eating. 

He hasn't gave me any explanation, but reality, who would? In reality, why would a male, myself,be able to bring a human child into this world.

He probably doesn't know either, but I can't tell, for he is a book shut I can't read. His eyes won't keep off me and I look for any piece of clothing that might caught someones attention.

Im wearing a hospital robe.

"Well?"

Finally, he speaks, and I debate whether he added another thick layer of tension or removed it

"W-Well what?"

Does he know, I know, he knows, I know about Ethan?

"What happened."

He states calmly, and this is Louis just got out coma 2.0 again. It angers me, he MIGHT just take advantage again.

"I know my shit Harold, so do you mind telling me yours."

I raise my bed slightly so I am able to communicate more efficiently, but it seems that was never plan. He looks at me before turning away and shaking his head.

He runs his fingers though his hair and it gets me exasperated, he acts as if he's done nothing more. 

"Aren't you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what."

"Oh I dont know, let's start with the big fucking elephant in the room you kept from me over two years. Lets start with that."

Harry looks away and buries his head in his lap, making me wait until he's ready on his own. It kills me, he's the one who needs more time when time from me was stolen.

"So that's just it. We're gonna pretended there isn't a little mini us running around."

"He might be yours Louis, but you rejected him."

Harry states and anger boils in my weak veins. How dare he. 

"Really? So that's how its going to be?"

"That's how it's been."

"That's my child Harry!"

"You said it yourself, you aren't his dad."

"Cause I didnt know! I-I didn't I-"

The memories of pushing Ethan away come back flooding is, the past two years in secrecy trying to get him to call me Uncle such as William or Edward. So many days I tried to ignore him when he called out for daddy and I knew he meant me.

He has done nothing wrong but try to seek a parent who was never there for him back. I'm a terrible one.

"B-But it's not my fault."

"Wh-"

"You never told me!!"

I can feel the tears coming down, and he looks back at me, blank. How can he not feel any sympathy for me at this moment. I just learned I had a child and didn't even remember. 

My rejection for so long is the only reason why I know now. My son himself had to gather evidence to prove I was his father.

What miserable type of shit is that.

My son.

"Ethan. E-Ethan's my son. That's my boy. T-That's my baby boy."

Realization hits me and I close my eyes, where I see the memories again.

This time, they go way back.

I can see a blurry image of someone walking into the restroom next to Harry and Ethans bedroom. They have only one towel around their waist and fail to close the door as they go in. Dropping their towel from around their hips, the figure stands in front of the mirror, and the image becomes clear.

Im standing in front of the mirror, and I can see how stretched my skin is around Ethan. I look down and began to caress it, feel the way he is so close to life.

I watch from afar as 15 year old me smiles down at him, Although I have knowledge if he knew what it was at the time.

I gasp as I see Harry enter the restroom and stands behind younger me, naked. Younger me, doesn't even flinch, although they're both in the nude.

was this normal back then?

I watch as Harry wraps his hands around Ethan and kisses down my shoulder. or his. He twirls me around and he somehow manages to carry me onto the sink counter. I cover my eyes as I realize what they're up to, what I used to be into, Harry entering me while Younger me screams in pleasure.

When I open my eyes again, the sight is different.

I see Harry carry me from the restroom to the living room couch, where he places me down on the cushions and begans to suck on my,

oh. those are huge.

 

I feel like I'm intruding as i watch myself pant getting my chest sucked on.

"HarryHarryHarryHarryOhYes. LoveMouthLoveYourTongue!"

 

I am embarrassing. Harry smirks and I watch as he places messy kisses from my belly button up to my neck.

I am chanting his name repeatedly, and I begin to feel the hairs on my neck rise as I begin to scream. i stay silent the next, and lay with my mouth open, motionless.

"Louis?"

I feel my heart speed up as I hear a high pitched scream, and im becoming frantic. Harry stops his actions and expresses the same worry.

"Louis? LOUIS?! LOUIS WHATS WRONG. IS IT TIME."

I watch the sight reveal in front of me as Harry runs towards the phone and dials gods knows who. He places the phone down before running back and I feel myself shaking as I scream for help and watch as younger me claws at Harry's chest, the skin becoming red and immediately beginning to bleed.

I was in pain.

Not being able to see the way Harry's face scrunches with the wound I exert on him, I close my eyes and open them once more, seeing the scenery change.

I sit on the passenger front seat of the car and watch the way Harry is so close to loosing control of the wheel. He is shaking and glances every other second at the window, where I lay on the back screaming.

"S-Shh L-Lou. I-Im taking you to the hospital. you're going to be fine baby."

I check the speed on the car and we're going 20 miles faster than we should be, and all I can feel is the anxiety Harry is feeling as I scream.

"HARRY. ITS RIPPING ME A PART. HARRY HELP ME. HELP ME!!!!!!""

"LOU. WERE ALMOST THERE. 10 MINUTES BABY."

"HARRY PLEASE. HARRY HARRY. HARRY!!!!!"

"LOUIS, Im so sorry!!"

"HARRY PULL OVER. TAKE IT OUT. TAKE IT.OUT. USE YOUR POCKET KNIFE, PLEASE TAKE IT OUT!!!!!"

I feel myself beginning to shake myself as I watch Harry scream for me to stop while I claw at Ethan, trying to take him out.

I close my eyes and I dont get lucky this time, still in the car.

"Lou?"

I glance back and I see myself sleeping.

"Louis. Louis baby?"

"L-Louis wake up."

"L-Louis. Louis p-please. LOUIS."

Harry is calling out for me, but younger me doesn't respond. He begins to honk at cars, but I won't budge. I can see the way Harry's body is now all shaking besides his arms, and his voice cracks.

"B-Blue, wake up."

"Wake up blue!!"

"LOUIS WAKE UP!!!"

"LOUIS, DONT YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME. WAKE UP LOUIS. LOUIS WAKE UP!!"

I close my eyes as i see Harry begin to cry, not being able to believe this was what I had put him through. He is scared and angry and helpless and can't help but see as I die slowly in the backseat of his car even though he's trying the best he can.

 

When I open my eyes again, I cant see anything. There's people whispering things and a woman trying to comfort me.

They tell me to hang on, and I dont know what for.

I close my eyes and open again, feeling as if im laying down. When I try to look, all i see is people with green outfits and masks and my belly cut open. I close my eyes back again, not wanting to think about how the hell was I conscious as they cut me open, the pain I would have felt.

I open my eyes, and I cant see much but a lady in the corner of the room standing with a small baby. On the other, I see Harry being held down by many men. 

I can hear the baby crying as Harry shouts and the doctors try to take him out the room

"WHY HASN'T HE WOKE UP DOCTOR. WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING ME. ITS BEEN 5 DAYS DOCTOR, WHY ISNT HE WAKING UP."

But I'm awake. Im awake.

"Mr.Styles, Calm down! As long as you're this unstable, we can't give you your child! It's not safe."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH LOUIS. WHY ISNT LOUIS WAKING UP. TELL ME!!!!"

I can see vaguely as more men come into the room and try to take Harry away, and the woman backs away with Ethan.

"I DONT WANT HIM. TAKE HIM. TAKE HIM FOR ALL I CARE. HE TOOK WHAT MEANT THE MOST FOR ME. TAKE HIM!!!!"

I watch as they take Harry out the room, and Ethan cries, cries, and cries. And I end up closing my eyes again to the sound of Ethans cries.

When I open my eyes again, a figure is at the end of the bed. Harry is looking straight at me with a frown I can't even process.

I bring my fingers up to my eyes and realize, I have been crying, my cheeks are soaked. My heart is in a million pieces, and I feel every last drop of emotion has been drained from my body.

Those were my last moments alive before I went into a coma for about a year. I want to be angry at Harry, but i can't. feel angry at myself, but I cant. Feel angry at the world, but I can't. I feel numb inside,.close to dead, because these 2 years have been a hell of a ride of rejection for both Ethan and Harry.

Harry went through all of this and still managed to raise our child while I was away, after he himself had threatened the doctors.

"Y-You didn't want him b-because he had taken what was more important to you, but look at you now."

I speak, feeling proud at Harry so much. His jaw drops, and I have a pretty good idea of what he is thinking.

"Y-You were awak-"

"That was the last thing I heard."

I mumble and I drop my head. 

I am the worst excuse of a father.

"You remember." Harry's sentence comes as a whisper and i nod my head. 

"I-Im sorry for what I put through you. I will never do so again."

I speak, and I mean it. Harry didn't deserve half of what happened to him, and it was all because of me.

"Louis, don't apologiz-"

"Dont. I was stupid for not taking care of myself. Im sorry for not being careful when we had sex and if you'll let me, I-I want to be in Ethans and your life. Y-Youre right. Im not Ethans dad and haven't been a close one at it either, but I want to. You're a great dad Harry and thank you for being able to take of Ethan when I couldn't. C-Can you show me? Will you give me a chance to be his dad too? I beg of you, please. I-I want to be yours and his. Please, give me a chance to be part of your lives. I dont even know how you managed to get me pregnant, I didn't even know that was possible, but I swear it will never happen again. No more children, Ethan deserves so much love and im prepared to give it to him if you let me. Please?"

I am basically begging on my knees, and I feel relief as Harry takes me into his arms. He says nothing but hugs me on the hospital bed. I hug him back and cry as I feel his lips collide to mine. He cups my jaw and I realize, in his hold, is where I feel the safest.

He doesn't give me an answer, but the kiss is enough.

"C-Can you lay with me?"

I ask Harry, and he nods, filling in the space I leave empty as I move on the bed. He doesn't fit right, his legs too long for the mattress, but he makes it work somehow.

He caresses where the bandages are on my head and I rest on his chest. He covers me with the blankets and I fall asleep, letting the pain of my head take over.


	43. Chapter 43

[Louis POV]

Day One:

Harry was fairly quiet today after leaving the hospital, the doctor claiming nothing major had happened, but advice on how to be more careful around the house. Harry agreed and asked me what else I remembered, but that was just about it.

I dont remember much about the past, but the last day I was alive and blue eyes crawling up my chest. He hummed and shrugged it off, although I wonder now how much more did I miss before that

I ache to know how our past was once, but I cant, no matter how much I tried. All I see is the last day and the blue eyes, the last day and the blue eyes.

There's brown eyes too that started appearing, but I fail to know who they belong too. My head aches still, so I lay in bed the rest of the day and bring along Ethan with me. Harry doesn't show up though, till much much later.

Day Two:

Spending my whole day with Ethan was spectacular, and Harry letting us bond by ourselves was such a generous thing to do. We /I/ played footie and Ethan was such a good sport for even trying, although he ended up on the floor most of the time. He's such a little wonderful boy, I don't know why I ever tried to push him away before, even if he wasn't my son or not.

Day Three: 

Harry let us bond all day together again, and Ethan picked a movie day while he went to work. I'm pretty sure Peter Pan is Ethans favorite character by 4o clock in the afternoon, seeing as we watched the same movie three times in a row.

Im a little disappointed when Harry calls at night however, saying their flying him over to Florida for a modeling shoot. Although he says he'll only be gone for 3 days, it still makes me sad. A little.

Day Four:

Ethan is such a little charming boy, and I know one day he'll grow up to be just like his father. I don't know where he got the idea that tickling my stomach was okay, but nonetheless, it ended up with me in the bathroom floor because he was really good at it. He gave it get better kisseys afterwards though, and it made me feel as the role of parent and son were switched out for a bit.

Day Five:

I called Ethan son today during breakfast time and I've never seen him beam so bright.

I love my son.

I love Ethan.

Day 6:

Getting Ethan to sleep last night was quite difficult because he missed Harry. I tried calling him so he could Ethan good night, but he wouldn't answer the phone. I dont really know how time works over in the East coast, but it must be way different.

 

Day 7:

Harry returns later, and I know by the way Ethan is sitting down in the entrance of the doorway

For 5 hours straight, he doesn't move.

Well maybe, moves three times bc he needs to go potty, but other than that, he waits with a bag of fruit and his apple juice.

Harry arrives around 2, and is surprised to find Ethan clinging to his leg. Harry greets him with kisses all over, one on the lips for me. However, he retires kind of early, and by the way his under eye bags look, I know its been quite a flight.

Day 8: One week after getting out of the hospital, I can finally take the bandages off my head and it feels slightly better. Harry stays in his room all day, and me and Ethan understand, daddy needs his rest.

Day 9: It seems Harry's gotten a little sick, because he wont come out his room. Although he is fine during his sleep, I can tell he's a little pale during the day. I call William to check up on him, but Edward decides to take care of it.

Day 10: Edward tells me I should take Ethan to sleep with me in my room because Harrys got the Florida flu, and doesn't want Ethan to get it. He's such a wonderful father, my heart aches when I remember, he's the same person I once pushed away as much as I could.

Day 11:

Harry doesn't come out his room and Edward volunteers to stay with him because he's got the strongest immune system from all of us.

Day 12: 

I hear banging in the middle of the night and pray to any god above, that's not the sound of the headboard hitting the wall.

Day 13:

He doesn't come out and I feel myself slowly shattering inside with the thought of them two.

Day 14: 

I cry myself to sleep.

Day 15:

Harry comes out the room and has breakfast with all of us, and so does Edward. Harry still looks tired, but he spends all his day with Ethan making drawings.

Day 15/16:

Harry sneaks into my room in the middle of night and snatches me from Ethan. He carries me bridal style back to his room, puts that gooey, blue thing called condom all over my entrance just to make sure I dont get pregnant and makes me feel really good on his bed.

Day 17:

He makes me feel good in the shower.

Day 18:

He makes me feel good on the wall.

Day 19: 

He makes me feel good on the floor.

Day 20:

He makes me feel good on my bed.

Day 21:

He makes me feel good on the kitchen

Day 22:

Harry and I go to the store when we run out of condoms, the bottle not squeezing any more gel out. He picks alot of them out and settles on one flavored strawberry. When I try to look at the balloons closely on the bottom shelf I seen the other week when shopping with Ethan, he says we dont need them and Ethan should definitely not be playing with balloons at such a young age. I don't get whats wrong with balloons though? A lot of kids play with balloons.

Day 23:

The condoms taste so funny and feel slimy on my tongue when Harry make me suck the gel off his fingers. I can't complain though, because he sucks more down there.

Day 24:

The gel was really bad stomach, because I wake up on the toilet seat next morning. Harry stands in the bathroom door frame and says nothing.

I dont see him for the rest of the day.

Day 25:

Harry merely glanced at me today, but showered Ethan in love. 

Would it be wrong if I said I was a little jealous?

Day 26:

We dont speak.

Day 27:

He gets home from work, late. He doesn't speak to me again.

Day 28:

I haven't been feeling well lately, and Harry ignoring me isn't it making it better.

Day 29:

Late from work again.

Day 30:

Late from work again and I fear for Williams safety for a second when my brother greets him as he arrives. Harry sees the beer in his hand and immediately snatches it before throwing it and the glass bottle shatters on the wall.

Must have been a rough day.

Day 31:

He comes home early, but ignores me again. I didn't know throwing up in front of him would disgust him that much. I tried keeping it down, making sure I cook my meals correctly because I think ive been eating raw food all this time. 

Day 32:

I hear him speaking to someone on the phone in the morning about being there at 4 in the afternoon.

When he arrives home at 8 that night, he says he had to stay late because he had to catch up on some things at work.

Day 33:

I dont know what to believe anymore.

Day 34:

He can't be cheating with me on Edward because he's home mostly 24/7.

Day 35:

I try to remember more things about the past in order to figure out if this has happened before. Has he cheated on me before or does he have another significant other.

All I see is Brown eyes.

Day 36:

He makes me feel good again in his bedroom, but I dont feel as good because there's a new tattoo under his ribcage that says Jane and im too scared to point it out.

I cry myself to sleep afterwards because my thoughts are confirmed, im not the only one anymore.

Day 37:

He's late from "work" again, and I've just about had enough. My head hurts so bad with trying to figure all of this out and im sick of crying everytime Ethan asks all afternoon about where his daddy is.

Day 38:

He makes me feel good again in my bedroom, but not the same way. He holds my head down to the mattress instead of our usual face to face love making. It feels so good at the moment, but I feel used.

Day 39:

All I see is sheets

 

Day 40:

All I see is sheets

 

Day 41:

All I see is sheets.

Day 42:

All I see is sheets

Day 43:

William makes bad chicken and I dont end up in Harry's bed that night. He gets home late from work and I've had enough.

Ive had ENOUGH.

Day 44; Today:

I stay inside the car as I watch Harry leave the studio, where he claims he spends all his afternoons in with a whole bunch of shoots that are pending. There's no woman on his arm, but I dont claim that as being innocent. Not for a single second.

A minute after he leaves, I pull out and follow behind, hiding behind the wheel everytime Harry seems to be looking elsewhere besides the road in front.

I drive for 30 minutes and feel my hurt thump when we pull around a silent part of town. Harry gets out and thankfully, doesn't notice me as he gets down and changes out of his work clothes. He's got a plain white t shirt on and some basketball shorts, perfect for easy clothes removing techniques

I cry in the car for a few minutes before realizing, what I've came to done so far. I have stalked my supposed partner, just to see if he was cheating on me, because that's how little I trust him.

This relationship has gone to waste, but I say no more as I get out the car and take a deep breath. heading towards the same door he entered, im surprised to find it open, and hear a few grunting on the other side.

What I find, is much more surprising.

I approach Harry silently and look around awkwardly as all the others stare. I know I definitely dont belong here, but so doesn't Harry.

Harry who's punching a bag so fast and rough, I wonder how the thing is still hanging. He's been here only a few minutes, but his back is already sweaty, and I can see the outline of his back muscles.

"H-Harry."

I call out, but he doesn't respond. He swings, swings, swings, and swings. 

"Harry."

He doesn't respond and I get closer. I feel fear take over my body as I place my hand on his back and im instantly swatted away, and thrown to the floor.

He looks down at me and there is no more green in his eyes.

"Harry, No!"

I can hear men screaming, but I can't help to turn as Harry is looking down at me like a aggressive dog.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM. CAN'T YOU LET ME HAVE SOME PEACE"

Harry screams and I feel the tears pouring down my face as men after men begin to hold him away from me and Edward appears too. Edward appears and I feel like im shattering into a billion pieces, because what has he done.

I quickly get off the floor and begin to run, ignoring the sounds of everyone's screams. I don't know what they've done to Harry, and im sure he doesn't know what he's done to me either.


	44. Chapter 44

"thought you were posting the epilogue already"

Nooooo. I said the book is NEAR its end. were at the climax rn'

And for the people wondering about Story B, I am going to write it one month after I start Story A ok.

NOW, happy reading!!

\----------------

My heart is racing, my feet are becoming sore, and my back is killing me. I slam the car door shut and watch as the neighbors drop their rakes and trash bags as a car screeches behind me. I merely glance and watch as Harry parks in our lawn.

No.

I keep running and enter our house, not having the ability to lock the door, slamming it closed. William is in the entrance holding Ethan, startled, but I ignore there presence, aiming towards my room.

Im in the hall when I hear the door slam open, and there's a scream. I recognize the angry voice and seal shut my door. I place the lock and run towards the corner of my room, where I drop to the floor and rock myself as I hold onto my knees.

He scares me.

That's not Harry.

That can't be Harry.

Harry would never hurt me.

Harry said he loved me.

I flinch as there is banging on the door, and I can see the whole item shake.

"Leave me alone!!!"

I scream, but the banging only gets worse.

"Leave me alone!!!!!"

"Open this damn door!!!!!"

"Please!!!"

I can hear Williams shouts and Harry ignores his pleas as well, now kicking the door as the bottom portion begins to thud harder.

"Louis!"

"Leave me alone!!!"

"You have 5 seconds to open this door!!! Don't make me go in there myself."

"Just Leave!!"

"Five..."

"Leave!!!"

"Four...."

I get up off the floor and begin to look around for any exit.

"Three...."

There is no Windows in my room, just the restroom which is sealed shut.

"Two...."

There's no weapons of defense here but the lamp on the night stand.

"One....."

But I dont want to hurt him.

"Time's Up Baby Boy."

I feel the hair all over my body rise as it gets quiet. There's foot steps walking away from the room, but nothing else.

Is he going to break the door down?

Is there another entrance I don't know about?

Is there a key to the room?

A Key.

"No...."

My heart is thumping, Is there a key I dont know about? I've never payed much attention to the door

"HARRY NO!"

My heart beats out of my chest as William screams and the sound of Ethans cries sound far away.

He wouldn't dare.

Not my baby.

I dont take a chance, immediately running to the door and unlocking it. I swing it open and Harry's standing in the frame, shaking his head before he grabs a hold of me and slams the door shut behind him.

"No!!!"

Harry locks the door as I pull on his hair, and banging emerges on the other side. William is shouting at Harry to let me go, and that's bar foreshadowing enough.

Harry is going to hurt me.

"Let me go!!!"

"Shut your mouth!""

"I hate you!!"

"I needed my fucking peace, and you just wouldn't let me have that!!! You just wouldn't!!!"

Harry places me down on the bed rather gently although I am hitting him all over. I scoot back on the bed and watch as he fiddles with his belt and takes a hold of it in his hand.

"P-Please. D-Dont hit m-me."

Harry shakes his head and climbs onto the bed with it, as my tears begin to fall like a water stream. I squirm as he moves me up higher on the bed and close my eyes, waiting for the blow to come.

All I feel is his breath as he takes my shirt off and throws it off, who knows where. 

"P-please Harry."

"All I wanted was my fucking peace."

He grabs a hold of my hands and presses them together, grabbing his belt and knotting it around my wrist. I feel my arms shudder as they're held above my head, and are more tightened than before.

I look up and notice, im tied to the bed.

"H-Harry please, dont."

"Shut up!"

"Harry Please dont do this."

"I said shut up!!"

I feel his hands run down my torso before they're hooked on the waistband of my pants. He pulls both my trousers and under garments down, myself hissing at the cold air that hits my body in the moment.

I feel myself drowning in fear as he hovers above me, eyes raking my whole body up and down. He digs his thumb on my hip, and rubs it repeatedly. It's useless to plea then, and I say to myself, it wont be okay.

"I wish I was dead."

I whisper to myself, and I squeal as the grip on my hipbone suddenly gets rougher. I open my eyes and watch as Harry glares down at me, chest rising as fume almost comes out his ears.

"What did you fucking say."

I don't have time to respond, for he hovers above me until were face to face, and he's screaming.

"You're so fucken ungrateful for what you fucken have! You don't know what you're fucken wishing for, how could you ever even think of that when you have a fucken son and a boyfriend who loves you to the fucken moon and back!!"

"Is this what love looks like Harry?! Me tied to a bed while you scream in my face?! This is love?!"

"You brought this upon yourself! You look like a fucken lunatic stalking me all the way back to the only place I can escape this fucked up world!"

"All I wanted to know was if you were cheating on me, Harry! I dont deserve this for caring! I didn't deserve getting pushed aside to the floor like a rag!"

"No ones saying youre a fucken rag, you're the most precious diamond in this fucken world!! All I needed was my fucken space Louis, that's all I needed! But since that's not cutting it for you, Im going to give you the attention you want."

I gasp as harry buries his head in the crook of my neck and sucks.

"Attention?"

He bites into the flesh and pulls

"Ill give you attention."

He pulls back and takes his shirt off, pulling his trousers and boxers down with it.

I whimper as he begins to kiss my body all over, from my neck to my chest down to my stomach where he sucks love marks all over. I shake my head and try to push him away with my legs, because this isn't what I want

"You're using me, Harry. S-Stop"

"Using you?"

"Yes! Don't you think I know why you stop kissing me? Why you rather take me from behind then look at me when we do it. You don't Love me!"

"That's preposterous! I take you from behind because you seem to like it better. And dont you dare say you're not louder in that position."

Harry states, but it still doesn't explain everything.

"W-Well. You dont kiss me anymore!"

"Because you always turn away after we make love!"

"You dont speak to me!"

"Because you shove me away when I try! You look angry and sad, and I understand I need to give you your space during those times!"

"Liar! You're just disgusted by the way Im becoming sick and beginning to throw up. That's why you don't speak to me. That's why you dont look at me. Why you won't kiss me. You're disgusted!"

"No Louis, That's just more of a reason to love you."

"Wha-"

"Oh my little fool."

Harry shushes me and I feel as something cool touches my entrance. With all the speaking, I failed to notice Harry was all covered in the blue gel and ready.

I gasp as Harry grabs a hold of my hips and slowly enters me, while bending to slam our lips together. He kisses me and I melt in his hold as my legs naturally wrap around his back and pull them in closer.

Within a minute, hes deep inside me, and there's no reason to protest against it any longer. I dont understand any of this, or why he sees this all in a different point of view. I know what I know and I know im right.

I can feel as Harry shoves his tongue on me and slowly undoes the knot around my wrists. He sets my hands free and pulls away from my face and looks down, eyes watering.

"I dont ignore you because I want to. You're the one pushing me away because you're always moody. You see things differently because you're becoming more sentimental. You're the one that wont kiss me because you're embarrassed of yourself after you throw up. If I dont come home early, is because I'm either trying to relieve some stress or going to the hospital preparing for our second arrival. You don't know this, but that week at your mother's house, you didn't understand clearly what protection meant. A condom isnt this gel substance I have on, that's lube. Condom is that balloon you so many times saw and forgot to put on when we made love in the guest room. If you wouldn't have blindfolded me, I would have been able to tell you, that you forgot the most important piece you need in order to not have a baby."

What.

"I realized after we finished, why you were dripping all over your thighs. In about a week, I was able to tell what I had been worried about. So when we came back, I realized, there was no need for a condom anymore anyways."

He pulls back and thrusts into me, one time, until he's settled very, very deep, and my thoughts are clouded.

Oh shit.

"I love you Louis, always have and always will."

I wrap my arms around him and begin to cry, and he gives me a slow kiss before whispering into my mouth, what I would have never expected again in my entire life.

"And I'll love my second baby, as much as I love Ethan."


	45. Chapter 45

According to Harry, I'm 2 months pregnant, and although I don't see the swelling happening soon, I can't help but rub at my stomach constantly.

It's a mixture of amazement, and awe, and gratitude for being able to hold such a beautiful miracle inside. Harry's explained how I'm capable of conceiving it and although its fucked up of a tale, I decide to put the past in the past, and the future in front of me.

Besides the gym, Harry spends most his time remodeling a portion of the hospital. It's amazing really, what Harry's career has enabled him to do for him. For us. With help of his friend doctor, he was able to get permission to construct a small building in the west wing of the Red Cross hospital designed just for me.

It will be a small room with a bed for me, him, and Ethan so I can move in one week before the arrival. It will give the doctor easy and quick access to me the moment it happens. Its a little scary to think about what happened last time I gave birth, but hopefully it wont happen again.

Harry set rules for what we could and couldn't do, and so it seems for one whole month before the arrival date, there will be no love making, as a precaution. Im a little disappointed, but I will bear for the health of my baby.

My baby

I am enlightened with the thought of it, and I hope Ethan will be too when we break the news. He's still to little to understand, but when time comes, well make sure he knows we will love them both equally and they mean the world to us.

Ethan will have a baby sister or brother in October and im pretty excited, either or. I have been looking into everything it takes to be a great parent because I have no clue on where to start.

It's different with Ethan because he was a child when I first met him, but this is an actual baby. Unfortunately, I was never around for the first years of Ethan so I hope Harry will guide me on how he managed.

He's been more affectionate towards me lately and I hope its because the truth is now finally out. He says I dont have to worry about anything but eating healthy and taking care of myself. I try my best to focus on those two main ideas, but I can't help but feel an annoying itch every time we make love and I see those 4 letters imprinted right next to mine on his chest.

 

********

"Harry. Do you love me?"

I lay on his chest and feel as I'm rocked by his heavy breathing. I can hear his heart beat as he hums, a little movement traveling through his body onto mines.

"Always."

He presses a kiss to my disheveled hair, and I hum, feeling that reassurance once again in my mind. There's something about it that makes me want to believe it so bad, but doubt always creeps in.

My conscious often nags me about being to clingy, but I can't help but feel a little needy. Soon, ill start growing big and changing, and there will be better partners out there, and with so many good looks, Harry can pull all.

He's a model for sakes, I can't compete with everyone else.

"Blue......don't."

"Don't what?"

Harry cups my face and turns to me, slotting our lips together. I feel as he nibbles on my bottom lip gently. before dropping mouth to my neck. He pecks until I feel the tickling sensations come alive and im pushing him away, too bare and defenseless.

"S-Stop."

"Not till you get rid of those horrid thoughts."

He climbs on top of me suddenly and attacks my sides. I squeal as I feel those sinful, long fingers cover most of my hips without even trying.

"H-Harry! Please! I-Im laughing but it hurts! please!"

"Then stop"

"I am I am."

"I don't think so."

He travels down even further and I can feel myself growing nervous when he aims for my feet. He grabs a hold of them and uses his untrimmed nails to torture me, which end up back firing.

"Harry NO."

"Stop."

"HARRY!"

Its torture, Its torture, its too much. The whole room is filled with my squealing noises and I surrender

"Fine! Fine! You love me!"

"oh do I?"

"Yes! Please! Stop!"

Harry stops fingering my feet and places one by his cheek. He nuzzles his face on my ankle and I stare it him amused.

"What a weird child."

"You have lovely feet."

"You have disgusting taste in body parts."

"Well its more romantic than saying you have a lovely arsehole, innit."

"HARRY."

"No im just kidding. it's actually pretty lovely."

"Wha-No! A, I like your hands would be a little bit better AND appropriate compliment."

"You are good with your hands......really good."

"You're horrible."

"You're amazing.

I laugh as he comes up and gives me another kiss, and I melt into it happily. Ethans out today with Edward at the park since William was too busy at work and it was their treat for us to have the day alone.

I love Ethan with my soul, but that child does not need anymore scaring images in his head.

"Harry."

"Yes Blue?"

Still with the odd nickname. I'll have to ask him whether I dressed as a smurf for Halloween.

"What do you want to have?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like....our baby. is there a gender you would prefer?"

There's a silence and Harry rolls over besides me, snuggling me closer.

"No....Not Really."

"Really?"

"Yep. I'll love them either or."

"Have you thought of any names yet?"

"No, not really. We won't know the gender of the baby until a few more weeks. Thats if you dont pull that torture on me last time in which you wanted to wait until the baby was born to know the gender."

"That's actually not a bad I-"

"Nope! Not this time baby. I want to know so we can prepare if Were gonna decorate Ethans room all with boy decorations or split the room in half and add some pink to the walls on the baby's side."

"They're gonna room together?"

"Just for the first couple of years so our baby can keep an eye on his baby brother or sister. Then as they grow, they will obviously have to part."

My heart flutters with the idea of thinking ahead, thinking of the future. That's the only reason why I decide against the surprise, although it would have been nice

"Fine. Fine. How about we brain storm names."

"Girl or boy first?"

I glance at the tattoo and dont hesitate a single second

"Girls. You first."

I look up and stare as Harry bites his lip in concentration. I feel my heart race as I thought the answer would be on his chest, but that apparently isnt it.

"I dont know....maybe if it was girl, she could represent something like a god. Aphrodite?"

"Who's that?"

"In greek mythology, the god of beauty and love. and if she looks anything like you, the name would definitely suit her."

I feel flattered, I do, but that wasn't the answer I wanted.

"How about yo-"

"What about a middle name? were you planning on a middle name?"

I ask and he furrows his eyebrows, scratching his head

"Yeah, sure, if that's what you want baby. This is team work."

"Any ideas? Like any thing that starts with a J"

"What do you mean? Like, do you want the name to be Jay as in J-a-y. or like....have the portion in it. like...Jaylin or Jayna."

"No."

"I don't under-"

"Just forget it."

I turn around and pull the covers onto my body. Who does he think he's fooling with.

"Did I do something wro-"

"Im tired. M gna take a nap."

I face away from Harry and feel as the dip on the mattress disappears. 

"Okay baby. M gonna go to the store real quick and buy some milk. Want anything?"

"Peanuts."

"Why am I not surprised."

I dont know what Harry means by that but I dont respond. I stay looking out the window where I can see the sun slowly approaching its end on the horizon. I watch as a shadow blocks it for a moment and I feel saliva on my forehead as Harry places a sloppy kiss

"Be right back darling. Get some rest."

"mhm."

I don't.

******

I hate doing this, but I have no choice.

Im rummaging through the last drawer of Harry's clothes, when I find it.

When I find what I was looking for.

The white envelope was never given the chance to be sealed shut, and it makes it easier for me to have access.

I feel my heart racing as I pull out a small picture print of Harry and Ethan on the beach, and Ethan is waving towards the camera. It looks recent by the way Ethans curls were beginning to grow out and he has that pokemon shirt we bought on our trip to my mums home.

Why would he keep this locked away?

I turn it around and see the text printed on the back, feeling the pit of my stomach swirl with what it reads.

\---------  
To: My Girl

xxxxx Kisses from Ethan and Harry.

\---------

This must be for her

I take no time to look through the envelope and unfold a small piece of paper folded in many pieces.

The bastard.

\------------  
Dear Jane,  
\------------

I can feel the tears streaming down my face as I read her name in bold, a small heart at the end of her name.

\------------  
I love you so much.  
\------------

How could he.

\------------  
Hope you've been enjoying the treats I've been sending youxx.  
\-----------

How could he do this to me

 

\------------  
I miss you alot and so does Ethan.   
\------------

This is unfair.

 

\------------  
he's been nagging ever since we last saw you about seeing you again. He really likes you and once I get a break from work, I promise ill visit you again. I miss you as much as he does or even more. alot more baby.  
\------------

How can someone manage to break the same heart over and over.

 

\------------  
I attached the monthly picture of us so you can keep us close everywhere. I managed Ethan to even look at the camera this time so that's pretty cool  
\------------

 

Monthly?

Where is she?

I hear a door opening and I feel my adrenaline pumping as I place the letter, picture, and envelope back where it was. The last thing I see February, and if that's anything to go buy, is that this letter is backtracked since its April.

I slam the drawer shut and feel the hairs on my neck rise as I hear another one open behind me

Oh no.

I Want to turn around, but what is there to say?

Sorry I was going through your things?

or 

Sorry you got caught?

I feel torn and lost in between, between two things I now hate and love. The room is silent, and before I know it, I feel a hand on my shoulder.

When I turn around, im met with a head full of curls and blue, sparkling eyes

"Hi daddy!!!"

I let a huge breath I didn't even know I was holding, out, and take him into a big hug. He responds back and kisses my cheek, but that isn't enough to calm my nerves.

"Hi baby, how was your day at the park?"

"I saw squews with uncle eddy."

"Squirrels? nice baby. can daddy ask you a question."

"Wha is it daddy."

I can't help it

"Do you know Jane?"

I feel the last pieces of my heart remaining up, crumble as his eyes light up, the gesture not good news.

"Did she caw daddy? daddy aways let me talk to her on phone. love jane."

So does Harry, doesn't he Ethan.


	46. Chapter 46

it's amusing to see everyone panicking about Jane.

although I fear a #StopHarry2K14 is approaching from some of you.

Even seen a #LouisLeaveHarry tag.

chill.  
\---------------

"No please."

"Why are you doing this."

"I never loved him."

There's a shadow behind Harry and he turns away from me, taking Ethan. He has our baby in his arms and I begin to cry as he pushes me away and gives the baby to the shadow.

I see a glint of brown again before he's picking me off the ground.

"Go."

"This isn't fair!"

"I said Go!"

"Give me back my children!"

"They have never been yours. You're a horrible father."

"Give me my babies Harry! Please !"

Harry raises his fist and I drop back down to the ground again. He wraps arm around the shadow and I can hear him whisper, "Lets go Jane.", before disappearing into the darkness.

No

"Give me my babies!!

 

"Louis."

"GIVE ME MY BABIES BASTARD!!!"

"Louis please."

"PLEASE DONT GO."

"Lou, Lou baby, im right here. Wake up sweetie, wake up."

I feel hands on my shoulders as I see a pool of green, widened eyes above me. He looks startled, and sighs, before shaking his head.

The nightmare again.

"Lou baby, are you alright?"

I try to move him off my body, but he doesn't move a muscle. Im forced to stay underneath his torturing body and pretend as if doesn't bother me at all

 

"M fine. Just bad dream, ts. all."

"Like the 8th one these past two months. Do you think we should go see the doctor Lou, you haven't been resting we-"

"M fine Harry, It was just a bad dream."

"Louis."

"I dont want talk about it okay."

"Well I do. Im worried Louis."

"Don't be."

"You always murmur things about getting our Kids taken away, I should be concerned. Who's taking them away?"

You

"It's nothing Harry, just let me go back to sleep."

"Lou-"

"Dammit Harry, im not repeating myself again!"

I shove at his chest and he falls to his side of the bed. Didn't know I was that strong and by the way Harry inhales harshly, I dont think he expected it either.

"Im Sorry for Caring."

"Im sure you are."

"Why are you being so cold lately, Lou? You weren't like this last time."

"Well you probably weren't cheating Last time. Yet again, who knows. you're full of surprises aren't you."

I give Harry my back and pull the covers on my body, feeling a little chilly. However, its useless, feeling the sheets yanked off the second after.

"Ha-"

"Really Louis? You think im cheating on you?"

"Give me back my covers! m cold."

"Fuck your brother once and im labeled a cheater for life. We weren't fucking dating, you and I, when you woke up. You didn't want me remember? So you have no excuse to accuse me of cheating !"

"Not talking about him really, but now that were at it, I don't really think you and him are quiet. Dont you think i heard the headboard slamming against the wall all those nights you were supposedly "sick" and Edward kept you "friendly" company. Friendly my arse!"

"What? Is that it? Is this a joke??"

"You dont see me laughing do ya?"

"No, but I also can't see where your fucking common sense went either. Its not all about sex Louis, get your head out your childish arse."

"Like to see you follow your own advice then, never see you complain when you have your face buried in it."

"Fuck off."

Harry gets out of bed, trying to end the conversation, but no.

This doesn't end here.

"Where are you going?!"

"To get a fucking drink since I cant deal with all this crap your saying. Or to Edwards room if you'd like. Doesn't make much any difference really since you probably already assumed where I was heading in the first place."

"Well you can't blame me for thinking that, can you?"

"Im staying in the living room. Good night."

"Im not done with you yet."

"But i am."

Harry heads over to the closet and pulls out his robe, while I aim towards the door. I switch the lock on and stand in front, watching Harry become more angry as he switches the night lamps on.

"Move Louis."

"No."

"I said move."

"Why don't you just admit what you've been hiding Harry. It's already pathetic you're playing the clueless role so stop being a coward and say it to my face. You're cheating on me!"

"Fuck you!"

"Just say it already dammit, say it!"

"What's wrong with you Louis! This isn't you!"

"And you are?"

"Move Louis before you regret it."

"What are you going to do Harry? hit me?"

Harry hovers over me but I push him away, back pressed against the door.

"Say it."

"Say what!"

"admit it!"

"You're ridiculous!"

"Im not letting you leave until you tell me the truth."

Harry attempts to grab me by the shoulders again, buy I kick him in the shin. i feel the burn as skin hits his, and he yelps, like the coward he's being.

"Louis!"

"ALL I WANT IS THE TRUTH HARRY."

"You want the truth?!"

"YES!"

"Fine."

I feel the hairs on my body rise as Harry begins to walk all over the room and begins to trash it. I cry as he grabs the mirror hanging on the wall and throws it across the room. It shatters on the floor and he doesn't stop, doesn't stop taking all the photo frames down and shattering them piece my piece.

"Is this what you want!! Is this what you want!!!!"

I can hear distant crying and there's banging on the door. I dont hesitate to open it, feeling a pair of arms wrapping around me before I see Edward sprinting across the room.

Its all a big blur, seeing Edward wrap his arms around Harry as he tries to get him to stop. William holds his grip on me and I watch as red eyed Harry screams but Edward holds on.

"Take him away William."

"NO. LET HIM SEE IT EDWARD. LET HIM SEE."

I look around the room and feel my heart crumbling when I take notice of what he refers to. The sounds wasn't the headboard slamming against the wall.

The items in our room were just a cover up for all the fist shaped dents on the walls. There is holes all around, and before I can manage to say another word, the door is slamming shut, and I am standing in the pitch black hall.

******

Harry whispers against my ear he's sorry as he lays behind me in Williams bed a few hours later.

I nod and give him a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck before I take my place and I let him take whats his.

***** 

When I wake up the next morning, Harry is gone. A note is left on the counter about going to the store and buying some new furniture along with a cup of tea.

I take a mere sip before I get on the computer and begin to write a Five paragraph message.

*****

*1 Month Later*

"Where's Ethan?"

"He went to the park with William."

"So you're gonna stay here by yourself?"

"Technically, no. me and baby are staying."

I watch as Harry's frown turns upside down, and he leans into me, placing a kiss on my lips. I hear him chuckle before getting closer again, and melting into the touch.

"Aren't you glad well be finding out the gender this weekend. no more you and baby. itll be baby boy or baby girl."

"I am excited. very much."

"Me too. are you sure you dont want to come with me to the studio? it'll just be a couple of hours."

"Ill be fine harry. I just want to take a long big nap. I promise ill be okay.

"are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok then baby, get your rest. ill see you as soon as I can."

Harry slots our lips together and I kiss him goodbye, watching as he walks out the front door with his suitcase and mines under the couch.

 

*********** 

"These are pretty intense, you know. Are you sure you want to go through with it?"

"Absolutely."

I look up at Mr.Watson and he furrow his eyebrows, looking through a whole bunch of documents before nodding his head.

"Alright. I'll help. I've never dealt with something like this before, but im sure the same concept applies to you Louis. So one week after your baby is born?"

"Yes."

"Okay then. Give me a moment."

I watch as Dr.Watson pulls the tape recorded out his top drawer and places it on his desk, popping in a new cassette. He looks up at me and I try my best not to show how anxious and sickening im feeling on the inside. 

This is what it has come to.

This is what he made me do.

The letter might have disappeared by now, which held all evidence of his sins, but the ink on his skin will always remain as proof of his failure of loyalty.

I gave you a chance Harry.

"Tape #9796586. Date June 5th of 2014. This audio message serves as a pre recording of the plaintiff, Louis William Tomlinson, agreeing to the following suit:Mr. Tomlinson requests full custody of his Children, Ethan Nathaniel Styles, age 3, and his new born, one week old, against their second father, the defendant, Harry Edward Styles. Reasons for plea consist of Emotional Abuse, Anger management on behalf of the defendant, and feeling of unsafety being around the defendant who displays a massive amount of violent, aggressive behavior. Court trial has been requested and I, Watson, will be Mr.Tomlinsons attorney in the case."

And you blew it.


	47. Chapter 47

!  
***********************

"What is it doctor, just tell us."

Harry's gripping my hand harder than I am to his, and the gesture is pretty uncomfortable.

is this what he felt like when I was giving birth.

"Congratulations Mr. Styles and Mr.Tomlinson. You'll soon be fathers to a beautiful, baby girl."

I stare into the monitor as Harry buries his face into my neck and cries.

I'm having a girl.

"We're having a baby girl Louis. We're going to have a daughter."

The tears flow down my face and I hug him back, engulfed in seconds by two pairs of strong arms. He swings me left to right while the Doctor grins and walks out the room, giving us the privacy he think we deserves.

There's a picture on the counter and Harry holds it up, staring in awe at our little fetus who barely has her legs and arms. She's beautiful, and I feel an overwhelming desire to just, want her to be in my arms so I can cradle her and give her my endless love.

"Im so happy Lou. Ethans gonna be a big brother. You think we should break the news to him in a T shirt. I seen one's at the store the other day. Worlds best big brother. it's perfect."

I feel Harry attach his lips to mine, and I return the gesture, feeling a little guilty inside.

Moments like these keep me wrapped around Harry's finger and shows me how I came to love such an Amazing Human being like him. Show me he's not like the others, not the teenage runaway who commonly runs away from their pregnant partner, especially with their second child.

"Were gonna have so much fun picking out stuff Lou. From ballerina dresses to slippers and bows and she's just gonna the most spoiled girl in this world because she's gonna have two daddys that love her to the moon and back and a wonderful brother who'll always look over her and fight off her bullies and beats up her boyfriend if he ever does her wrong, but like, that's in like 30 years when she has her college degree and I'm dead because no one will ever take her away from me because she'll always be my little girl and I will make sure she marries only the best and..."

And Harry rambles about the future, and I feel myself sinking a little deeper every word that passes by.

Im in love with a fool that's fooled me.

That's fooling me.

That I have to let go.

And here he lays on the bed, planning out our impossible future that will never happen because truth was a hard limit for him.

He won't be receiving the court notification papers until after my baby girl is born, so all I have to do now is wait for these 4 months to pass by and hope to fall out of Harry's spell and set myself free.

I look down and watch as he nuzzles his face into my half sized water melon pudge, listening as he whispers sweet nothings to our daughter that probably has no ears yet, but pretty sure he doesn't care.

It's mutiny.

*  
*  
*   
*  
*  
*  
*

"Ethan buddy"

Harry asks Ethan to come closer and he looks alarmed. He motions to sit on the couch beside me and my baby does so, clutching to his minion toy closely as he follows instructions.

"come sit down here for a bit. Me and daddy have some news to tell you."

"I didn't do it I swea. it was ucle eddy."

I find myself chuckling, amused, because it is true,

this is how we let Ethan know he's misbehaved. We sit down and have, the talk, with him.

"No baby, were no-"

"He wanted to fill ur hats and binis wit boody powder daddy. I try and stop."

"He did what?!"

"I try daddy I try."

So that's why there was no baby powder this morning. I look up at Harry laughing because aww, what a funny sight that would have been. He looks in his revenge mode however, so I pat his side to snap out of it.

"Hey. Focus."

"Yeah yeah. Sorry. I just....that arsehole is going to get it."

"uh oh. daddy said bad word. go to time out chair daddy!"

"No sorry baby, it slipped."

"Daddy! daddy not going."

"Harry, Ethan is right. you have said a bad word."

"But Louuuuuu."

"timeout chair for one minute and then come back."

"Yea daddy. timeout chair."

Harry glances between us and sighs, trudging to the corner of the living room where he sits on the chair that berly manages to hold one butt cheek. He's huge compared to the mini sized chair, and I smile at the way Ethan is giggling that for once, he gets to punish daddy.

"So Ethan, me and daddy have some news, regarding this bump here I have on my belly."

I uncross my arms and rub at the more noticeable bump now. He stares at it and begins to poke at his, frowning.

"I try to get big like you too daddy. I use the ballon machine uncle eddy used in my birday party in my belly button but I did not blow up like you."

"What th-"

Im interrupted with the sound of laughter in the corner of the room, and

 

what the hell just happened.

 

"Ethan."

"It did not work daddy I swea."

"Oh my god, my kid is a genius." Harry is in a fit of a giggles and how dare he. 

"No Ethan, don't do that. No no no."

"I just wanted to fwoat."

"My little man, you're going to be an Einstein one day." Harry's time out is up and he's ruffling our sons curls, Ethan smiling up at his dad proud. I feel offended.

"Thank you daddy."

"Anyways, Ethan. That's not what we wanted to tell you."

Harry stands behind me and the conversation pursues.

"Ethan, you're a big boy now and with growing up comes responsibility."

Harry starts off and I let him carry on, watching as Ethan looks alarmed again.

"And as a big boy, I need you to understand that me and daddy are gonna need your help when the the new baby arrives."

"A baby?"

Harry nods and I pat at my stomach, watching as Ethan looks at my stomach confused.

"Your....Daddy put a baby in me. This is your baby sister Ethan."

I extend my hand and guide him to my stomach, feeling his little fingers rub against the cotton of my shirt before he lets go. He looks up at Harry and im prepared to see a mouthful of pearly whites, smiling up at the news.

I see as he furrows his eyebrows and frowns instead, a little startled when he runs away and screams all the way out the living room

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

 

Me and Harry share a glance and

"Well.........I was definitely not expecting that." Harry scratches his head and I nod in Agreement. We hear from the dining room chairs scraping across the floor, and I bet, he's hiding under the table.

Harry blinks as we stare out into the frame and still hear Ethan screaming

"-oooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

"Should we give him his space?"

"....Yeah. Yeah I think we should."

"But it's not like were going to stop loving him any less because he's not the youngest."

"Well maybe he doesn't know that."

We hear clinking of utensils and before we know It, his Still somehow continuous "No" begins to sound close again.

I watch from afar as he run backs in the living room and surprises me with Harry and makes me jump out my seat.

"ETHAN!!"

"BABY NO. PUT THAT DOWN."

Harry run towards Ethan and our son stops in the middle of the rug, startled by our screams. It wasn't intentional.

"But daddy."

"RUNNING WITH A KNIFE IS NOT SAFE ETHAN."

"But daddy....I-I just wanted to get my baby sister out."

Harry carefully removes the knife away from Ethan, and what a relief. He is reckless.

I rub my forehead in the mixture of stress and adoration as Ethans bottom lip begins to quiver, eyes becoming watering. I walk over and try to bend a little to engulf him into a hug.

Harry picks him up instead, discarding the object to the bar counter, and raises him to my eyesight. I press a Kiss to his cheek and shake my head, rubbing the tears away.

"She's not ready to come out yet baby."

"Why."

"Well......we still haven't set up her room."

"She can sleep in mine"

"If we do that, you know well have to paint your room pink. Is that okay?"

Me and Harry giggle as Ethan scrunches his nose, groaning.

"That's what I thought. Its okay baby. She'll sleep with.....me and daddy first because shell be to little to be Left alone. But we still need to get other stuff like clothes and toys."

I watch as He looks at both of us before nodding.

Maybe he isn't that opposed. 

He wiggles in Harry's hold and that's a sign he wants to be put down. Harry complies, myself watching as Ethan approaches my belly carefully and places a hand on it

"Can my baby sister hear me?"

Probably not but,

"Yes baby."

"Can I tell her a secret?"

"Sure darling."

Harry glances at me before looking down, I mimicking his actions as we watch Ethan connect his mouth to my stomach with his tiny hand. He looks up and both me and Harry look away subtly because right, Secret. Harry whistles and I scratch my head before yawning.

 

"I let you paint my room pink so you can sleep with me okay baby sister. just caus daddies are too loud at beddytime to sleep." 

******************

"F-Fuck."

"Should we take this to the time out chair?"

"Oh, hush up"

I inhale the scent of Harry's sweaty, glistened chest as I ride the roller coaster monster of his, feeling full. He's laughing softly but still manages to relieve me, taking away the desires that itch through the day.

Midnight routine or not, the energy is always there, even after a long day of work or a long of day of being on the couch.

"Mmm."

"Y-Yeah."

"So full."

"Mhm."

Harry goes teasingly slow and its just perfect. I can feel every inch going in and going out. I Can almost see over the stars in my eyes as my skin stretches to take him in, or how he expands with everytime I let out sounds. 

"My sweet baby boy."

"Mhm H-Harry."

"have I ever told you, how much I dislike your name."

 

And there it goes.

 

I remove myself from his chest and stare into his eyes, not believing me what im hearing.

"Are you serious? couldn't you wait to kill the mood till after I cummed."

"What? No hold on baby"

"Fucking arsehole."

I grab a hold of him and pull him out as harshly as I can, ignoring the hissing sound he makes. He deserves it.

"Lou!"

"Fuck off."

I climb off my bed and begin to walk out our bedroom, heading anywhere away from him.

Yes, he's an amazing partner, but this is the type of thing I won't stand. This is not what i want. This is not what I need.

"Louis baby please, come back to bed."

"Leave me alone Harry."

He's following me down the hallway and doesn't he understand.

"Baby, that's not what I meant swear."

"Harry, go away."

"I love you first name, I Swear, I can shout Louis from the highest mountain of the world, its your-"

I turn around and let it go, backing away as Harry stops in his tracks.

I spit in his face.

Fear sweeps over my body as I watch as his chest begins to rise rapidly, fists clenching by his side, the blanket he was used to cover himself now crushed. He takes a step closer and I accept my fate, although he refuses to give it to me.

I close my eyes and feel the warmth surround my body, and the feeling of wet lips to my forehead. I open them, and find myself wrapped up in the covers, while he whispers in my ear following a apology,

"Go to bed. I'll stay in the couch."

Dumbfounded, I led him lead me back to the room, and I cry myself to sleep because he makes me hating him, ten times harder than it should be.


	48. Chapter 48

"is that so.."

"Shh daddy."

"Sorry."

"SHHHH"

Little finger caresses my lip and I lick it, watching as his little nose scrunches up in disgust. 

"eww daddy. you lik me."

"thats what you get for telling me to shh."

"I just wanna watch me movie."

"Ok ok baby. Sorry."

"Thank you daddy."

Ethan rests his head on my chest and I face the screen, watching as mickey mouse wraps presents for Christmas. Im not entirely sure why this is being aired in September, December being 3 months away and whatnot, but whatever, not much I can do.

Ethan giggles at the screen and let myself think, he is no longer a baby looking at different colors on the screen. He understands what the characters are saying and he has one more year before he leaves us.

One year until Preschool.

Oh how fast time has flown by.

"Little cold Harry."

"Im almost done."

I try to glance at Harry's so called 'masterpiece' but babygirl wont let me, my stomach now size of a mountain.

Harry's sit criss crossed on the bed while he paints my stomach with Ethan's brushes, although I dont know what could he possibly draw with that paint. Ethans mixed in all the colors they all have some shade of brown.

Its a Sunday afternoon and my brothers have gone out for the day, skating they mentioned, but i cant quite remember where. Harry, Ethan, and I decided to have a lazy afternoon, for the past hours letting Ethan order movies on demand while Harry gave me massages and halfway through, got the brilliant idea to paint our daughter. I lay back and just watch them both, enjoying having brought food to the bed and do minimal movement.

"Voila!"

"SHHHHH"

"You shhhhh!"

"Daddy!"

"baby!"

"Boys please.." I rub at my temple.

"daddy, tell daddy to shush."

"baby, tell baby to shush."

"how about you both shush."

"but dadddyyyyyyy"

"But babyyyyyy."

"Harry, i dont recall giving birth to you so stop acting like a baby and let Ethan watch his movie. in peace."

Ethan sticks his tongue out at Harry and smirks. Oh god, he has the same smirk as his father, lord no please.

"Daddy loves me more."

Harry pouts and turns to face me, and seriously, i dont remember giving birth to this child.

"Louuuuuu. Ethans being mean."

"Ethan. stop being mean."

"Daddy, daddys being a tattle tell."

"Harry, I swear if you say one more thing to fight with him I-"

"Ok ok baby. Im kidding. Im kidding."

Harry crawls over to the side of me and presses a kiss to my forehead. Ethan looks at us and rolls his eyes, turning to face the tv.

"Keep your cwothes on."

Harry and I burst out in laughter and Ethan turns again, frowning again.

"I mean it daddies. You no let me watch movies, I will paint walls."

"You paint walls, You will get spanking." Harry chimes, and Ethan shakes his head, turning away. 

"I hide closet."

"Wherever shall i find you when you hide then. Oh the mistery!" Harry's still messing with Ethan and I watch as the scene unravels in front of me.

"daddyyy stop."

"Well dont sass me."

"You no sass."

"Ethan Nathaniel, I dare you to say another word."

Harry sits up from where he was laying next to me and stares at Ethan, my baby squirrming. I cant help but be amused at the way Ethan pouts before he huffs and pays attention back to the tv. Harry lays back down when hes realized, hes won, and turns to me shaking his head.

I laugh, already sensing what hes going to say.

"That....That's all you."

"What can I say? Its in the tommo blood. Persistent."

"I see that. Reminds me of you after a while of us dating. You wouldnt listen, always sassing me out. Oh how much I wish I could have taken you over my knee"

Harry presses his lips to mine and I kiss back, although the images a little blurry in my head.

I remain silent and he presses his forehead against mine, shaking his.

"Still dont remember much?"

"Not really.... Remember a little of um... a blonde guy. I think he came once to visit us in the hospital. And your two friends, The ones that are going out i think. Curly hair?"

"Liam and Zayn."

"Y-Yeah, Zayn is the one with the black hair quiff right?"

"Yeah."

"Y-Yeah. I remember him . He was in the restroom with the other one."

Harry furrows his eyebrows and i glance at Ethan, realizing he isnt watching tv anymore. I didnt even feel him leave the bed, seeing as he now has my phone and earphones on, watching netflix.

Sneaky little one.

"Oh, Oh I think youre talking about that time we caught them together in the bathroom stall. Wow, what a akward situation that was."

"what happened?"

"It was somewhere along the lines of us trying to make out in secrecy and we ended up finding them trying to do the same. Liam was a little freaked out because we were brothers at the time and Zayn was cheering us on. You were trying to explain we werent related and I was just standing there surprised not thinking sooner about the two. It was...It was a weird time."

Im not sure if Harry making this up because wow, how akward, but I wouldnt be surprised if it was.

"Well...glad i dont remember that."

Harry chuckles and I find myself grow more curious. Ive always wanted to push the past away, but, I am aching to know some stuff. 

"Harry."

"Yes."

"Can you...you like."

Harry lays on his side and places a kiss to my lips, nodding.

"Whatever you want, go ahead."

"No... like, I mean. Can you tell me a little about us?"

Harry blinks and I grow uncomfortable. 

"Its okay if you dont want."

"No, I do, I just dont know where to start."

Harry turn towards me again and pulls me into another kiss, working his lips against mine. I kiss him back and feel a little breathless when he cuts the kiss short, cupping my face.

"Well...for starters. When you first arrived at my house, you dont know how cruel it was to my soul finding out my new step sibling was gonna have such a nice piece of ass"

"Harold!"

I cover his mouth and he bites into it, laughing. I glance at Ethan but hes almost inside the phone. Close one.

"He has the earbuds on baby, he wont hear."

"You never know."

"Baby, he wont hear me."

He shakes his head and cups my face.

another kiss.

"Nice to know the first impression of me was my ass."

"Well, not really. It was your eyes first. Those sinful cerulean and breath taking eyes of yours that had me thinking, I was screwed. You just laid there, fringe covering your glasses while those baby blue eyes looked up at me in wonder. That pretty little body of yours too, ugh, I never knew someone could have so many curves."

Harry rubs up and down my sides and I gulp, knowing this could end really, really, not PG-Ethan. 

"God i was so screwed." He whispers in my ear before giving me another kiss and I dont want him to pull away.

"But I was an arsehole at the beginning so I couldnt cherish you as much as I could have, And that will always live in my conscious. You can do so much better. You always will."

Harry caresses my cheek and half smiles, his eyes sparkling a little.

"You were always so good. The way your eyes would light up for the littlest things. Watching you eat ice cream was one of the best things, watching the way you devoured it like Ethan now does with frozen yogurt. You were such a child Louis. Just loved the way everytime you played video games and discovered a new trick, you just couldnt contain your amazement, but you couldnt curse either, and youll end up saying the weirdest things like Holy Cheeseballs and Diddly Darn and you were just so...so innocent." 

Harry's laughing against my cheek and I can feel myself burning up because wow, what a change. 

"Do you remember our first kiss?"

Harry looks down and I feel guilt in my stomach because no, I dont. He understands.

"It was my birthday wish. We were in a closet, at Zayns house, 1 minute before my day was over, and we had been fighting that day about how many friends you could bring to the party and I was jealous that another boy was trying to kiss you, and i was there with my girlfriend, but 1 minute before my day was over, you just called me a fool and gave me permission to kiss you and we kissed and for once, I felt the cliche sparks novelists write about. Obviously, I would never and I never did tell you. I ran away before I could let you overtake my thoughts. I ranaway with my girlfriend, tried to get the thoughts out of my head, tried to forget how my 'step brothers' lips felt against mine, but it was too late. Your kiss was like a drug. One would never be enough again."

Harry smashes our lips again and I feel so overwhelmed, not knowing what ive been avoiding to remember. Not trying to remember my past is the same thing as not trying to remember our story. 

But now I want to know.

"Louis, you have no clue what shit weve been through. We tore each other apart. Dated other people knowing we wanted each other over a lie. Had to watch you kiss him and share your love with my enemy and support your descisions when it came to wanting to be his partner and although we fought for months and months at one point we stopped and we had to live with it and it was like hell. I dreaded everything at one point, was so close Louis, so close to throwing it all away, because life without you wasnt worth it. After my prom, which yes, you were my date although we were step brothers at the time because fuck what everyone else thought, I took you to mums cabin and we just..."

Harrys eyes are shimmering and I watch as he glances over my chest to Ethan, smiling. He chuckles before wiping his tears that threathen to fall and cups my cheek, kissing me again.

"That night was magical. How I wish we could one day relive it again."

Harry sighs and I smile, trying to see it in his point of view.

"That night was the reason why we now have our 3 year old little miracle. Never knew making love could feel so amazing and create such an amazing being at the same time. That night will always mean everything to me, because for once, I felt so free. I felt so sure of what I wanted, of what I was missing in my life, of what i needed. That piece was you, Louis. "

Harry entwines our hands and I can feel the tears on my cheek, although im not sure if theyre his.

"You under the stars, with the only thing separating our hearts is our skin, where the sun set in the horizon and the sight of your eyes shining was a sight more astonishing. Where your breath was all I could feel against mine and your voice was the only melody in my ears. Where it seemed, You and I were invincible."

Harry connects our lips and I wish the swell of my belly gave me a break for at least a minute, wanting to feel his hugs.

"Although we might not be alone now, I wouldnt want to have it any other way. I love Ethan with all the love in the world as well as our daughter and I know everything will work out in the end as long as youre by my side."

Harry smiles down at me and I am woeed.

"You are my home Louis. "

He connects our lips one more time before whispering,

"You and our little growing family."

He rubs my belly and leans down to kiss it, myself watching him in amusement as he forgets there is paint on it.

He pulls back and makes a disgusted face, Ethan watching too before he starts giggling as well.

"You dummy daddy,"

Harry wipes his mouth and stares with brown lipstick on as whatever his master piece was, was apparently ruined.

"Noooo! my creation. its ruined."

I watch in confusion as Harry closes his fist around something black and puts it in his boxer pockets, frowning at my stomach.

"What was it?"

"Nothing....Just.. ill do it again."

"Another time please? I need to go to the restroom and I want a shower before we go to sleep."

Harry frowns but nods, helping me get up from the bed and taking me to the restroom. He rubs more at my belly, ruining the paint more and I swat him away, shutting the door behind me so he doesnt spread it more.

I frown when i look at myself in the mirror and his drawing has been completely erased, only leaving three words at the top.

-Louis, will you

"Will I what?"

I wash it away in the shower. Hell draw it again later.

\----------------------------------------------

"Interesting."

"You see what my problem is now, Doctor. Hes confusing."

"Youre confused too, Louis."

Dr. Seema watches me from the chair beside me, and I feel Im getting no where with this. Dr.Watson thought talking about the problems to a proffesional would help the proccess of the upcoming trial put me more at ease, but these sessions have been doing the oppostite.

"You see Louis, you are fighting for the custody of your kids with a man is clear you still love."

"And I dont want to."

"But you do."

"You heard what I just told you. Hes an illusion, I just know it."

"Louis, it seems to me whats adding fuel to the fire of this pain is the woman you claim your partner is being unfaithful with. You describe Harry at him as the man you want to spend your life with yet here you are, unwilling to stop the trial. "

"Im not claiming, I know."

'Has he told you directly?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

"Because I just do."

The doctor doesnt seem convinced and this is what happens. This is what he does.

"Doctor, he has you under his spell too. Charms you until youre living in a world that doesnt even exsist. I know because he makes me feel that way all the time but im always brought back to reality. He is cheating on me and I know it and Im not going to stop the trial."

"Louis, what if this is all a misunderstanding?"

"You dont believe me, do you?"

"Youre not giving me much to work with honey."

Dr. Seema frowns and this is pointless, No one understands.

"Dont you think I wish this was just a misunderstanding Doctor? Dont you think I wish I didnt have to be going through this at the moment, participating in a court case where im suing the man i fell so deeply in love with for the custody of my children? I dont Doctor. I dont want this. He bought four dozens of flowers last month Doctor with his credit card shipped to Florida. Now tell me doctor, do I look like someone who lives all the way in the east coast. which he visits monthly for ' work trips' and has a room full of roses because I dont think so Doctor."

I bury my face in the palms of my hands and let the tears fall because, no.

"I-I dont think so."


	49. Chapter 49

"Well, Good Afternoon Mr.Tomlinson. I see you had a nice weekend."

The judgment in the room is through the roof, and I feel this session won't be anymore better than last. I place a palm over my neck and she tilts her head to the side.

ok ok yes. that mark came from the shower.

She tilts her neck to the other side and I place my second palm there.

ok ok yes. that mark came from the car.

She stares at me more and I can feel the way her eyes travel down my arms where ok, I admit, I didn't protest when he tied me up in the bedroom.

"It's one month before I give birth okay. W-We agreed on no sex all October for safety precautions so were using this time efficie-"

"Agreed?"

The doctor looks at me dumbfounded and can I please just go home.

"Y-Yes?"

"You're making agreements and having intercourse with the man you're suing next month Mr.Tomlinson. please tell me you notice what's wrong with that sentence."

I drop my head and can't help but realize yes.

it sounds insane.

"You don't understand."

"No, I do. you are in love with this man and you will keep running back to him regardless of the situation. if your kids aren't enough motivation to leave him, what will be Mr.Tomlinson? I think we should stop this case before it reaches the court."

"N-No please!"

I shake my head and she sighs, nodding her head.

"I-I Don't know how to okay. I-I don't know."

I feel the tears come streaming down my cheeks again and I feel a presence appear next to me. The doctor is holding a box of tissues and I take one thankfully.

"So shall we begin our session?"

\----------

"So she just appeared out of no where?"

"N-No. I don't know what I was doing, but I looked out a window and there she was laying, Harry kissing her. I don't know doctor, but she's Jane. She has to be Jane. She's been a shadow in my dreams for the longest but I'm beginning to put together some features. Those brown eyes are hers. Her voice I can barely put together because when Harry talks to her at night, I can't really listen and pretend to be asleep. it's not possible."

"And what do you take this as? a nightmare that wont go away?"

"N-No. more like a sign."

"A sign?"

I nod and I watch her scribble away on her notepad.

"For what Mr.Tomlinson?"

"Somethings gonna happen soon. Maybe ill finally catch him or I dont know really. but there must be a reason why im beginning to see her clearly now."

"What if it's someone you know?"

"I-I don't know...maybe?"

"You know Mr.Tomlinson, there's always the possibility you've seen a strangers face too many times, it becomes permanent somewhere in the back of your mind."

"What? So you think I've seen her already and haven't noticed it was her?"

"If you claim his cheating, she might be around in town and you've ran into her at places you and your partner hang around without even knowing."

That makes so much sense.

I think to my trips out but there's too many.

too many faces I can't put together.

"Its okay Mr.Tomlinson, im not asking you to think of them all right now. take your time."

She places a comforting hand on my thigh and I sigh nodding.

"Is there any other experience you'd like to share before you go."

Doctor Seema rubs my back and it itches at my throat, the event the other day. She knows its eating me alive so she gives me another tissue, while I try my best to speak.

**************

"We're just gonna get Daddy's credit card and then well be on our way, okay?"

"Daddy inside there?"

"Yes Baby. Daddy's doing some exercise."

Ethan helps me unbuckle his seatbelt and I give him a high five, everyday growing more and more into the big boy he is.

"Hold daddy's hand."

I extend my arm and he listens, entwining our hands as I shut the door and lock the car. I feel a little off being here, remembering the last time ending with me running off.

Its dark and creepy, but nonetheless, licensed and a permit, which should be enough to guarantee some safety. 

Harry's car is no where in the lot, but Edwards is, so I take that as enough to credit why he's here.

We enter the building and I place Ethan in a chair, feeling a little burn as I carry him. He wiggles his feet and I take a few breaths, little glad the waiting room is empty so they can't see how embarrassing this is.

Once im set, I take out the pointing finger and Ethan stills.

"Stay here and don't move a muscle. don't talk to strangers and don't accept any candy. Daddy's just gonna get Daddy's card so we can buy you some milk okay. be back in a second."

"okay daddy."

I stand up after pressing a kiss to Ethans cheek, and head towards the gym door, taking a deep breath. I slightly open it and peek in, watching the massive amount of men today in the gym type of thing this place is with punching bags.

A sight of shaking curls takes my attention away from how many people there is, and it's not for the best.  
I watch in sorrow as Harry's finished punching the glass mirror, shattering it all over the floor.

Why.

"WHY ME. WHY ME!!!"

Harry's screaming and gets tackled to the floor by my brother. Men around them begin to close in and I step out the room, seeing the tears coming out his eyes enough sight to flee.

"Daddy, was wrong? did daddy no wanna Give card?"

I shake my head and try to keep it together, trying to think of another way to get my baby his milk without having to ask his bloody fisted father.

************

"did he tell you when he got home what had happened?"

"No. Said he'd got hurt at work."

"Amazing."

"S really not Doctor."

My doctor scribbles more on her board and I feel my heart clench inside.

"I want your opinion on this Tomlinson. What did you think happened?"

"I-I dont know. It made no sense."

"What made no sense?"

"Why he was crying, breaking mirrors, and screaming why him? why him what?"

"Did you do something to him Louis?"

"NO."

Did I? 

I think back to all last week and no. 

We were pretty good all last week. Was a really good actually.

"So he just went home with a wounded hand and everything was fine?"

"Well....I guess so. He didn't change at home. Still the charmer pants he always is."

"Does he know Louis?"

"Does he know what?"

"You're taking him to court."

"No, he's not supposed to get the know until after Athena is born."

"He's not supposed to. Doesn't mean he can't."

He can't know can he? The papers for the trial are all in the bottom of my socks drawer and I doubt he'd ever go through my things. He's respectable right?

"Athena? That's a nice name."

"Thanks. Harry chose it."

No, he can't go through my socks drawer. There's no reason to. His foot is bigger than mine so if he needed socks, it's most likely he would go through William or Edwards.

When I look back at the doctor, she's already staring. She shakes her head and im confused.

"Oh Louis." 

"What?"

"You might wanna rethink what you're naming daughter."

"Why?"

The timer rings and oh, our time is up. The doctor begins to scribble more notes and I take that as my cue to gather my things and leave.

\--  
Harry is out with Ethan today at Rocket world and My brothers have taken a trip out the city so I have to settle on going back home on foot.

Harry had said to call him but I dont want to ruin Ethans day out, especially if he's on a really cool ride he doesn't want to miss.

Thankfully, its not that hot out so the sun isn't making me into some scrambled eggs on the sidewalk.

Curse California and it's heat.

It's lovely outside and I look down at my choice of footwear, realising sandals weren't a good pick. 

Why do I even have pink sandals to begin with anyway?

I feel something bump into my shoulder and im suddenly mentally screaming, as a pair of arms hold on to my arms. 

There's envelopes flying all around the floor and when I look up, I see a familiar pair of blue eyes shining.

"L-Louis? Is that you?"

The brunette haired guy smiles at me and he seems so familiar.

"Its me."

The guy makes two thumbs up by his face and 

"N-Niall?"

"Oh my, you remember!"

Im engulfed into a huge hug and all I can help but notice is

"What's wrong with your hair?

I feel him,chuckling against my cheek before he pulls back and smiles down at me.

"Nice to see you too mate."

"M. sorry. that was rude, I mean-"

"Im kidding Lou. wasn't feeling the corn color any more. why, does it look wrong?"

"No,no, not at all."

I stare at him more and close my eyes, seeing a bunch of images in my head in a blur. There's so many, at the lunch table, in class, at his house, in his room, at Zayns bathroom, and wow.

This is my ex boyfriend.

" Helo? You okay there?"

Niall waves his hand in my face and im pulled back into reality, watching the concern written all over his face.

"I-Im sorry. just, blanked out for a bit."

"Yeah, I seen that. are you alright?"

"Im fine thank you."

I stare into his eyes and feel as if, he's seeing the images in my head too, which make me grow conscious. Thankfully, the envelopes floating in the wind are enough to get him to stop, myself watching as he remembers those are apparently his and begins to pick them up.

I watch as he mumbles a string of profanities before he's back in my sight again, and staring down at my belly.

"So, I see baby number two is on the way. wow."

I caress my stomach and smile because yes, Athena is almost here.

"Yeah."

"Boy, girl, or still waiting?"

"Girl."

"Congratulations Louis."

Niall pulls me into a hug again and we stand in an awkward silence for about a minute or two. I feel horrible we should be able to connect more than this, because I can feel in the back of my mind, this bond was stronger before.

But I can't quite put it together yet.

"So....it was nice seeing you Niall. I-I should probably get goi-"

"No wait."

Niall grabs a hold of my arm and points at a sign at the corner of the street which wow, sounds pretty good right now.

"It's been forever Louis. Would you be so kind to have lunch with me?"

I feel Athena kick and that obviously means, yes.

\--------

This has been very,

 

soothing.

After awkward glancing and irrelevant conversations at the beginning of our lunch, Niall had finally opened up more about the past and I found myself enjoying the tales of our year full of shenanigans. Never realized how many laughs I had shared with the blue eyed boy until I began clutching my stomach because my bladder threatened to burst with how hard I was laughing at the stories.

I enjoyed Nialls presence, and I was glad he hadn't completely disowned me for never trying to reach out and gain what I had forgotten, what I left behind, and apparently, not penalized.

He said he missed me, and although I didn't remember much, my heart told me I missed him too, and it was nice feeling the presence of an old friend when I was in need of one.

"So, what is all this envelope stop you have."

"It's for Liam and Zayns baby shower."

"What? who's having the baby?"

I put my fork down in my almost done spaghetti bowl when Niall bursts out into laughter, shaking his head.

"Uh, not them."

"Then how are they goi-"

"Not every one was blessed with your power to make baby's Louis. They're adopting their first kid. Liam just thought I'd be nice, you know? so when they're baby grows up, they have some memories."

And oh, that makes sense. I feel myself redden for now knowing this sooner, but Niall takes a hold of my hand and thankfully calms my nerves down.

"Hey it's ok. sorry, didn't mean to-"

"Its fine."

"Zayn gave Harry, you and his invitation about a week ago. you guys are attending right?"

what.

"When is it?"

"This Saturday."

no.

"Did you not kn-"

"He probably just forgot to tell me. He's always busy with work."

I try to convince niall, but the way the words come out, I'm not sure I can even convince myself. A silence grows between us and I feel my cellphone vibrating in my pocket.

It's Harry.

"Well Niall, it was nice seeing you Again but I have to get home."

"Yeah, yeah. I understand. Will you make it on Saturday?"

Will I?

"I-Im not su-"

"Listen, even if it Harry doesn't want to go, you are always invited to come. we're still your friends Louis, so never hesitate to reach out. Besides, if you dont feel comfortable playing all the baby games in the afternoon, leave that to the ladies. the real party begins at night with the booze. haha."

I watch as Niall takes out a pen out his pocket and writes a number on the napkin. He hands it to me and I take it hesitantly, before putting it in my pocket.

he pulls me into another hug, as best as a hug can get with baby girl in the way, and pulls away.

"Gotta get going. still need to hand out these invitations. it was nice seeing you"

I watch as niall smiles at me as he walks out the small diner and I dial Harry on the phone, getting a earful because it's been three hours he's been trying to contact me.

\--------

"please don't be mad at me."

"I was trying to contact you all afternoon Louis. I was worried sick."

"I'm sorry, its just, I was hungry an-"

"You can't use ur pregnancy as an excuse all the time Louis. how many times have I told you."

Harry snaps and I stay quiet, looking out the car window. Fortunately, Ethans asleep right now so he's not hearing any thing that might occur.

another 5 minutes pass by before I hear Harry sighing and reaching out to rub Athena. He does it for a while before reaching out for my hand and entwining our fingers together.

"Look babe, im sorry. I was just worried. you're a beautiful boy walking on the streets of L.A. anyone who wouldn't want to kidnap you in their car would be a fool"

"or a decent citizen.,"

"no baby, a fool."

Harry brings my hand up and places a kiss on my knuckles while we wait at the red light.

"I love you Louis."

"Me too Harry."

"Will you forgive me?"

"Yeah."

"really?"

"yea."

I lean and press a small kiss to Harry's cheek, watching his face light up as I do so. I watch him peek in the rear view mirror and down at my stomach before smiling even wider.

I know what hes thinking and it makes my heart swell too, because this is what every one dreams of, a happy future filled with kids and a loving partner.

Its what I have.

but with small defect.

"What are we doing this Saturday?"

"Im staying late for work that day baby. big shoot coming ahead."

and oh. well glad you can't make it to the party but thanks for the Invite.

"how about you?"

"wait till you get home so we can cuddle."

"well I might be out later than expected baby, so if it's past Ethans bedtime, dont wait for me. ill be in bed by morning, I promise.,"

 

That's fine Harry, I'll be in bed by morning *  
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From: Niall :)

 

Glad yer up for the party lou !! x   
adress 7695 Monroe Blvd L.A, Ca. 5pm.  
text me on sat when yer on the way & sorry Harry wont b able to make it !!


	50. Chapter 50

It's all a blur.

Its all a memory.

Its all a strange feeling that deepens the unwelcoming feeling in my stomach.

Kisses after cheek kisses, hugs after hugs, pats after pats, I feel like a trophy case at the shower. So many different faces claiming so many different events, they're so hard to put together.

It's all too overwhelming.

this all is a huge mistake.

"Daddy. I wan candy."

Ethan pulls on my sleeve and I nod, excusing myself from someone named Michael talking about what he caught me and Harry doing in the janitors closet.

For once, im thankful for Ethans interruptions, striving to get away. We go inside the home the party is being hosted at and head towards the desert table.

It's my favorite part of the whole shower.

I look around and sigh when I realize were alone.

This is a huge mistake.

Harry isn't even here.

"Ethan, that's too much candy. put some back darling."

"but daddy I wanna."

"you're gonna get a stomach ache baby, no."

"please daddy."

"Let the kid have some candy Lou. promise its all fine."

I spoke too soon, seeing as Niall enters the house with two glasses. 

"Fruit punch?"

He hands me a drink and I take it, thanking him. When I look back down at Ethan, he's at it at the candy table Again, and I hear Niall laughing as he doesn't stop grubbing.

 

"why aren't you outside with the rest of the lads?"

I lean against the wall and shrug, not knowing the answer myself. I dont feel quite comfortable for starters.

"dunno. not feeling quite good really."

"need any medicine? I-I think we got some stomach pill-"

"no no. that's fine. think ....think im just gonna head home if its alright? Ethans bed is approaching."

"Awww really?"

"Really Really."

I pull Ethan away from the candy table and frown when he's got a whole bunch of chocolate all over his mouth and cheeks.

"Ethan, are you serious."

"s good daddy."

"I see. Niall, is there a sink nea-"

"The kitchen is to the right. Napkins on the left side of the wall."

"Do you mind watching Et-"

"Go on ahead Lou."

Niall kneels down and settles next to Ethan, who is grinning with a pirate looking tooth. Oh raisins.

I head over to the kitchen and grab a napkin and making it damp under the faucet. I need to clean Ethan before the chocolate. becomes permanent.

Above the sink is a small window, and I am unfortunate to see the scene unravel before me.

I let the napkin fall out my hands, feeling betrayed of myself, because this wasn't what I expected.

I'd plan to come here and call out Harry for lying to me about not wanting me around his friends.

Not left tongue tied with the sight of him getting out of our shared range rover with a girl, The Girl of my nightmares.

He's dressed appropriately for the occasion and so is she, Jane whom he opens the door for and leads her to the entrance of the back yard.

I walk away from the window and back into the living room, where Niall has a chocolate palm print in his cheek. He's laughing at Ethan getting him dirty and no, I don't need this right now.

"Ethan baby, its time to go."

I pull him away and Niall startles at my motion, frowning.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to go now. C-Can I get out the front door please?"

"Lou, what's wrong?"

I have no time, I need to get out of here.

"Don't tell him I was here, Niall, I beg of you."

I whisper and Niall looks around the room, before heading to the backyard door. he peeks out and furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head.

"I-I thought he couldn't com-"

"that's what he told me."

I frown at Niall and he mimics the gesture, sighing.  
He looks into my eyes and I feel as if this has happened before, in another world. 

He begins to walk in the opposite direction and I follow behind him, understanding he's guiding me towards my solution. 

Ethan whines as I separate him and his candy, in too much of a hurry to get out of here. Niall unlocks the front door and I thank him as we step out, turning back on the steps to thank him.

I pull in Niall for a hug and feel the endless gratitude to have a friend like him.

"Thank you so mu-"

I feel my body shiver when a pair of lips are against mine, and taste like peppermint who arent Harry's nor my baby's. Im standing motionless and in shock, because none of this is supposed to happen, none of this was supposed to turn out this way, I shouldn't be here in the first place.

I pull away and Nialls standing eye widened, although he's the one who initiated the kiss.

"Lou-"

"N-No Niall. This isn't going to happen. This can never happen again. I-Im in love with Harry. I-Im Harrys."

"Then why aren't you here with him?"

I grab a hold of Ethans hand and pull him away from that house, heading to the car without looking back.  
Its a question that is eating me out alive, but I can't manage to feel the necessity to take revenge.

It's not who I am or want to become.

Its not what I would ever wish upon any one.

"Daddy, why we leavin?"

"It-its bed time baby."

"awwwww. but I wanna party."

"another day my love."

I buckle Ethan into his chair and try to compose myself as I get behind the wheel. Im trying so hard to ignore the fact that Harry and I's car is two vehicle away from mine and drive off without getting off and screaming at the brunette who's stolen my boyfriend.

But at the same time, maybe it's my boyfriend who decided he was tired of me.

*********

The truth doesn't hit me until midnight when I open my phone and I've got a text from Harry that reads how tired he is from work but he'll get home soon and to kiss our son good night for him.

Its all a bullshit and if I can't use the excuse that the pregnant hormones are making me emotional, then I can use the My boyfriend is an asshole one.

right now, I wish he was here with me. right now, this feeling of betrayal is new to me. I can't fight this feeling and every night I feel it. It's not the best feeling in the world to know you're being lied to when all you want is the love you give, back. All i want is for him to love me as much as I do.

I just want him back.

I just want him to love me again.

*******

"S-Stop!"

"What if I dont want to!"

Its blinding me, the lights.

There's flashes everywhere and I let my tears fall as he clicks and clicks and clicks.

"S-Stop. Please!"

"Why should I?!"

"Because you're not any better Harry!!"

"Fuck you!"

There's more flashes and I grab the pillow, covering my nude body. Ethans banging on the other side of the door, crying, and I feel so helpless.

"Harry Please, stop!"

"Y-You thought I wouldn't find out, didn't you!"

He throws the polaroids at me and I scream, knowing I dont deserve this. They're all over the wall, shots of me in my weakest state hanged like Christmas lights.

"You're sick Harry!!"

"What? dont you love them all? shows you in your true colors. You've always been a slut. Always!!"

He throws more and I cry, wanting him to stop. He's taking photo after photo and it's torture. He took my clothes in my sleep, and has me exposed all over our room.

I don't deserve this.

I don't deserve this.

"I had to find out from my own fucking son you were kissing another man! Did you think he wouldn't tell!?"

"It was a mistake Harry!"

"I don't think so."

"Harry, believe me please!"

"You've done this to me before Louis. Its nothing but old news."

 

He takes more pictures and I scream again, sick of the flashes and getting thrown pictures of my misery. I get off the bed and run as best as I can towards my closet, where I find my robe.

I dont last a minute in there, feeling Harry's hands all over my body as he tries to strip me again. I bite and hit, using his drunken state as a slight advantage.

He's boiling in anger, and I regret the moment I give him to think, hearing Ethan still crying at the door. I can see the smirk form and I try my best to stop him from reaching the door.

I fail.

I scream as he carries Ethan and begins to walk out, walk out on me and everything we used to have.

"Leave him alone!"

"You want me to go so im going. but im taking Him with me"

"Harry please, dont do this ! you dont know what you're doing!"

"Get out of my way!"

Harry pushes me aside and puts Ethan in the car, putting his seatbelt a little off. He slams the door shut and I open it again once he goes to other side.

I climb in the car and try to take him out, but I get an earful of yells and get yanked by my hair. I stop my hesitating and buckle him correctly, feeling the tears stream down my face as I see the fear in my babys face.

"now get out!!"

"N-no."

"GET. OUT."

"You take my baby with you, you have to take me too!"

"have it your fucking way!"

Harry swings out the driveway and I feel the fear inside me begin to build up.

"Harry please! please turn back!"

"no."

"Harry please!"

He's driving away from our house and I buckle my seatbelt, feeling the uneasiness begin to build up.

"Harry please! let me explain!!"

"I dont want to hear it Louis."

"Please!"

Harry pulls into the highway and I can't think correctly, with Ethan crying and Harry acting like a child. He's not in the right state, I can smell the liquor from the back seat, and why is this happening to me.

"Harry, pull over please. we need to talk!"

"I dont have to do shit for you any more."

"Harry please."

He blasts the music on instead and hits the pedal, ignoring me and Ethans pleas. 

"Harry, you're going too fast!"

"shut up!!"

"Harry slow down!"

"I SAID SHUT UP."

"Harry please, you're scaring me!"

"Like I give a shit."

"harry pull over. please!! just let me explain!!"

I try and try and try to convince him to give me a second chance to explain. but before I know it, it's too late.

"DADDY NO!!!!!!"

"HARRY, THE CAR!!!!!"

The music stops.

 

 

**********


	51. Chapter 51

Im burning. Heat surrounds my body, and it all burns. 

The air smells like fume, and I can hear sirens far away.

Where am I?

I try to move but its as if there's a knife in my back. I look up at the sky, but all I can see is the car mats.

Where am I?"

There's hand all over me and suddenly, there is light blinding me.

"There's a child in the front seat! move, move, move!"

My back, it's burning. I float on air and suddenly, there's faces all around me. 

"Stay with us, you're going to be okay. Stay with us."

There's something on my face, and it's blowing air into me. What's going on, where's Harry? Where's Ethan?

I look away from the light and notice red and blue lights surrounding me.

I grab a hold of my sides and im on a bed. It's a moving bed.

"No, no no, keep your head down."

What's going on? why won't they let me find out why there's so much commotion. The bed turns and I see.

What.

Our car.

Why is our car upside down.

I close my eyes and the memories come flashing in. The night before. This morning. The car ride. The car gliding in front of us.

No.

"Lay back down sir, please."

I raise my head as im being taken into the vehicle, and I see him. 

Harry.

He's laying on the road in a pool full of red liquid. 

NO

Nononono

NO 

"H-Harry."

"Sedate him. Sedate him."

No.

"P-Please."

"We need to do it now!"

I feel a sting in my arm and I scream, feeling the burn again. They shut the doors and Harry is gone. 

everything goes white again.

***********

I wake and I can still hear the voices. They surround me from each side and whats going on. I look up and see men in green scrubs, moving forward.

The bed is moving again, but I can no longer see clouds. There is white tile in the sky.

I tilt my head and I see them both.

The men slow down and roll Ethan on his bed into a room with a flashing sign. 

Where are they taking my baby? Is my baby okay, what's going on?

I take deep breaths as I see men rolling Harry's bed beside me, and he has something white around his neck. A neck cast. There's blood still dripping from his hair, and why. Why did this have to happen. 

I raise my head, and it's a huge mistake. 

I can see my feet.

"He's waking up"

Why can I see my feet?

"give him another dose."

"W-Where's."

I place a hand on my stomach and I feel wet. I raise my hand and there's blood. 

My belly is gone and there's blood

"m-my baby"

There's another sting in my arm but I fight the feeling of wanting to pass out. I raise my head again, not believing what im seeing, but im not imagining things.

Where's my stomach.

Where's my baby girl.

Where's my daughter.

"Where's my baby!!!"

"Im sorry sir"

I feel another sting and the weight on my eyes, increases. I let my head fall back down and the last thing I see, is as they roll Harry away into another room.


	52. Chapter 52

oh shet. this book ends in 6 days. merry louis day!!

*****

I can't stop staring at it.

Can't stop staring at the emptiness that ironically, fills my soul with sorrow.

She's gone. She's no longer with me. She's no longer inside. 

There's no bracelet around my wrist that connect me with a baby in the new born room, because mine is dead.

8 months have been for nothing. 8 months, and I'll never get too see her, caress her cheeks and tell her I love her to pieces.

There will be no room painting or clothes shopping, no buying a new booster seat or making room for another place at the breakfast table.

Nothing.

I glance up as I see the nurses rolling Ethan in, at my request. He was placed in another level, but because there is enough room in mines, they've allowed us to be together.

Thankfully, he's fine. 

The doctor said he had some minor head trauma and a few stitches all over his body, but it's fine. I try to convince myself its all fine because he's Alive and that's one less person to say goodbye too.

They place his bed next to mine and I feel the tears well up in my eyes as he sleeps, peacefully. I can see the bruises so clear, and I try to ignore the fact that, this isn't okay. It isn't at all, because I have fault in what's happened to my son.

I could have prevented all of this by leaving him. 

But I didn't, because I did something stupid like, fall in love.

The nurses place a new bag of antibiotics for the pain on my machine, but what good does it even do, really? This pain won't go away with a few medication. It'll be here forever.

The nurses leave and I fall back into my previous position, staring at the emptiness.

It's as if I'm waiting for her to appear again, but what are the chances of that ever happening.

I hear a sharp breath and I turn my head to look at Ethan, who surprisingly is still asleep.

When I turn to see if the nurse needs anything else, the answer is no.

Harry's standing, gaping at me from the edge of the bed. I can't help but feel the immense hate that fills my soul as his jaw drops and he tries to reach out to my stomach, but pulls back.

There's nothing there to touch anymore.

"W-Where Is s-she?"

"Where do you fucking think car crashes by drunk drivers take babies?"

I try to hold myself together as Harry's lips trembles and shakes his head, taking a step back.

"N-No."

"Yes Harry."

I let out a choked laugh because why is he so surprised. what did he expect?

"S-She can't. I-I cant"

"But you did. Are you happy with yourself now?"

"Not her too."

I watch as Harry pulls on his hair and drops to his knees, shaking his head. My cheeks are wet now and I ignore my ache to comfort Harry as he tries to scream but choked sobs come out instead. 

He tries banging his head on the floor, but the neck cast doesn't let him. Is this pain not enough for him?

"L-Louis, I-Im sorry."

I roll my eyes and let my sobs come out, having nothing more to hide.

"I don't know why you're apologizing to me, im not the one who's dead."

I spit at him and he covers his face, shaking his head.

"I-I didnt mean for this to happen Louis, I-I swear."

"Does it matter anymore? Its all your fault she'll never get to see the light of day. You deserve to live with this for the rest of your life."

Harry screams and I throw my pillow him, yelling at him to shut up. 

"Unless you want to break the news to Ethan you've killed his baby sister, I suggest you shush."

"L-Lou, don't do this to me. I-I need you."

"No.. You know what this means."

"N-No Louis, please. let me explai-"

"I don't have to do shit for YOU anymore, Harry."

"L-Louis please."

"Shove that Please up your arse. We're through Harry. We're done. I can take your sudden outbreaks and your lies and your betrayal but not this. Not this."

"Louis, I love you."

I shake my head and stand my ground. I point towards the door and try to avoid Harry's bloodshot eyes

It has to be done.

It has to be done.

"I-Im suing you Harry. F-For the only child I have left. Now go."

I can't bear him to look at him as he stands and tries to hold my hand, which I push away.

He tries to grab a hold of my face, but I push him away. 

I want him gone.

"Please, leave. Can't you see how much damage you've already done?"

My voice cracks as I look up to stare at Harry in the eyes.

In the moment, I see images flash in my head, myself included with a bloody wrist. I can see faint images of Harry with a gun to his head, and I realize what im seeing is a memory. 

Harry drops the gun and runs towards me, where I fall into his arms and he's looking at me the same way he was right now.

It's pure pain and when I snap back into reality, he's halfway out the door, head buried in his hands. A nurse greets him and points at a hallway,  and he turns to see me one last time before the door is shut.

When im sealed away from the rest of the world, I drop back in bed and cry like never before, because how is it possible to be foolishly in love with someone who's done you wrong, too many times.

**********

"And how are you feeling little champ?"

"Im good. you?"

"im very swell. thank you for asking."

"you welcom."

Ethan smiles as the nurse takes the thermometer out his mouth and gives him a thumbs up, giving me one as well.

"You have raised a lovely boy. He will be alright."

"Thank you mam."

"Wha about daddy? is daddy fine?"

"Mr.Styles."

"You don't have to answer his quest-"

"Your daddy is fine just like you champ. would you like me to call him over?"

"Yes!"

"No, please dont do that mam."

"but dadddyyyyyyyy."

The nurse looks between me and my son and I frown at her, disapprovingly.

"Are you sure Mr.Tomlinson? He is awake and with you-"

"No. It's fine really."

"Well if there isn't any more requests, ill be heading out. ring the buzzer if you need me."

The nurse waves a goodbye and I nod, ignoring the whining Ethan beside me.

"Why can I see daddy? I wanna know if daddys ok."

"He's okay Ethan."

"Then why can I see him?!"

"Be cause me and your dad are mad at each other at the moment and I don't want to see him."

There's no point in lying anymore. Soon we will be in the court room, and Ethan will most likely be one of the people contributing a testimony.

He needs to know what Harry's done is bad.

"Why are you mad at daddy?"

"because he cheated on me Ethan. He doesn't love me."

Ethan pouts and shakes his head, lying back in bed. He looks up at me and I do the same, trying to ignore the fit he's throwing resembles him so much to Harry.

"You wrong."

"Im not."

"Daddy loves you. he tell me."

"Did he also tell you he loves jane?"

How dare Harry trick our child into making him the innocent one. If he really loved me, we wouldn't be in this mess right now.

"I know daddy loves jane, daddy, but he loves you too. we pick out pretty things for you. because he said he loves you."

"But he can't do that Ethan. It's not good to love more than two people at a time."

"But daddy loves me too. is that wrong?"

"No baby. He was supposed to love me and you. not us and jane."

"Why not jane?"

"Be cause its wrong Ethan. Its wrong."

I try my best to keep my voice as calm as I can, but fail, seeing Ethan whine. 

"Don't cry baby."

"You no stand daddy. daddy loves you. an I want him here with us."

"But i dont."

"But I wan daddy!!"

"Ethan."

"I wan daddy I wan daddy I wan daddy!!"

Ethan begins to throw a fit and I can't help but block his sounds out and cry because, it's not fair. 

It's just not fair.

************

 

*2 Days Later*

There's a knocking at my door step and I groan when I see who it is through the peek hole.

I've just got home from the hospital, I don't even have the papers ready, can't he wait.

William and Edward approach me and I sigh, knowing I have to open the door.

I swing it open and a tired looking Harry is revealed.  
He still has the neck cast on him and im surprised to see he still has the hospital wristband on. He got released the same day of the crash, but here he is, with stitches all over, bruises, biting his lip at my entrance.

"What do you want? You're not seeing Ethan."

"A word with you, please."

"I have nothing to say to you anymore. We're done Harry. Whatever else I have left to say to you, will be said in court."

I watch as his eyebrows furrow and he frowns, shaking his head. I walk away from the entrance and run towards my room.

I dig through my sock drawers and there my papers still lay.

I take them out and head back, seeing as Harry is now in the kitchen where William and Edward are yelling. There's tears in his eyes and I ignore it, ignore the ache that screams, heal him.

I throw the manilla folder on the counter and he looks at it, eye widened.

"Y-You were serious?"

"I don't lie Harry."

"Y-You want this?"

Harry face falls and I watch as he reaches out for the manilla folder, opening the documents that were already prepared.

William and Edward look at me and I raise my hand in the air.

I know, I couldn't tell them either.

"W-Wait. This court request was done months before. Y-You were going to sue me after our daughter was born? What The fuck?! What did I ever do?!"

"You know what you did, dont look at me like im crazy!"

"You are crazy Louis, all I ever did was love you!!"

"Stop with lies Harry. Stop already! Im tired, im done. Don't you think I noticed the sudden change of character you went through? dont you think I noticed the amount of money you spent at the jewelry store, what you bought for her was worth more than this House Harry!!"

"What are you talking abou-"

"Don't act like a fool Harry, I know!"

Harry shakes his head and run towards our bedroom. I chase after him, screaming at him to get out of my house, but he doesn't listen.

He pulls something out from under the pillow sheets, a small black box,

"You mean this? this was for y-"

"I don't want to hear your bullshit Harry!"

I slap the box away from his hand and he flinches, chasing after at it as it falls to the floor.

 

"I was at the baby shower, Harry. I had to stand there and watch you escort her inside because im not good enough for you."

"W-Wait, what hold on. You were there? Louis, I don't like Eleanor!"

"Are you sure that's her name Harry? Im no fool. I know about her Harry. I seen the letters. Seen the I love you letter and saw the roses you bought for her. I heard you on the phone late at night and Ethan confessed to you taking him to see her, your lover.  
You dont think id notice the frequent trips to the east coast and the amounts of money you spent there? Well I did Harry. I know who she is. And I am suing you for full custody of Ethan because he doesn't need a father like you. You can stay with that bitch of yours named Jane. I wish you endless happiness with her Harry, as long as its not near or me and my son."

I feel a huge relief once I finish, finally being able to breath, let the truth set free.

I open my eyes and I feel uncomfortable when I notice William and Edward are shaking their head.  
I look at Harry and his chest is rising rapidly and uncontrollably. He runs his hand over his head and I see the tears form in his eyes, and his fists clench.

"Y-You've been doubting me this whole time.. this whole thing......b-because of JANE?!"

In the blink of an eye, William takes a hold of me as Edward pushes Harry out our bedroom, dealing with the crying and screaming he's doing.

Harry throws the small box at me and I dodge it, feeling my heart break as the door is shut close and I can hear him running away.

"Oh Louis, what have you done?"

William looks down at me and I see tears rolling down his eyes. He's shaking his head at me and I pull away from him, feeling the judgement.

What does he mean, what did I do? What has he done!!

I sink to the ground on my knees and a grab a hold of the small black box, which is proof to his sins.

"Louis, Harry isn't having an affair with Jane."

I open the small black case, and met with the sight of a small portrait of Harry, Ethan, me and Athena in the inside portion of the box. On the bottom portion, there's a small cushion which holds a beautiful diamond ring, with a small note under it that reads,  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Will you marry me?

"Jane is Harry's daughter."


	53. Chapter 53

~~~~~~  
"Harry?"

Knocking softly on the door, I peek into Harry's room, where he lays on his bed frowning. He doesn't look to happy and I wonder if it's due to the conversation earlier with Edward. what did he say?

"Can yo-"

"Whatever you want, the answer is NO. Go tell Edward to do it for you."

Harry visibly scowls and my stomach twists, seeing the disgust as he says my cousins name. I'm really not asking for anything physically. i just want to take a walk in the park, but he's left.

"But Eddie just left and I was thinking i-"

"Thats not my problem. Get out of my room!"

Harry raises his voice at me and I dont understand why he's mad. I don't want to cry, but I know my hormones are getting the better of me.

"Is this what you really want?"

"Just go!"

"Bu-"

"Go Away Louis!!!"

Harry walks toward me and I feel anxious as he lays his rough hands on my chest. I try to keep my balance as he forces me out before slamming the door in my face.

The air that hits me is enough proof that Harry hasn't grown very fond of me and that hurts. I know we cant love each other in that way, but it would be nice not to be hated either. 

I just wanted to go to the park.

I sigh as I turn around and head down stairs. I can see my mum in the kitchen and she turns to me, smiling. Well, here goes nothing.

"What are you up too, Louis?"

She's chopping some celery and I try to keep my cool, not finding what im about to do something im proud of.

"Am just gonna go outside and wait for Harry. I originally invited Edward but he...he can't. so I told harry to accompany me. He's taking me to walk in the park."

"Oh that's good boo. You know, walking is very good for the baby."

Anne comes towards me and rubs my belly, which has nearly begun to grow. I smile at her and nod, letting myself caress my girl or boy too. I dont know what it is yet because I'd rather not know. I want it to be a surprise.

"Well have fun boo and be careful."

"I will."

I do a small wave before exiting the house calmly, and letting out a huge breath I didn't know I was holding in. Lying is hard work.

I turn back around and it seems no one suspects a thing. Good thing I know the places around here on foot, so that way I wont get lost.

I just really wanted to go the park.

*

I've walked one whole time around the park and I am exhausted. How do other pregnant women do this, its horrible

I sit in one of the benches by the playground and watch as other kids play on the small rides. Some are on the swings, some on the slides, and some on the seesaw.

My heart flutters at the thought that soon, I will be here with my own kid, watching her or him play in the playground too while I sit like the other protective moms around.

I'm watching as a little boy tries to hang on the monkey bars when I hear the familiar name coming from my right side.

Whomever is speaking repeats it again and again that by the fourth time I hear Harry's name coming out the persons mouth, I'm tempted to turn and i do so, finding the sight......

unbelievable.

no.

no that can't be right.

I see her, see as she gets engulfed by the blonde girl into a hug and slowly walked away from the park, crying. Her cousin rubs back in comfort and no.

That cant be right.

Her belly, its swollen.

It's bigger than mine.

It's way more developed than mine.

How.

I feel my heart sink as Harry's promise of using a condom with every one else but me, becomes a lie.

Eleanor's pregnant and It's his child.

It's Harry's Child.

I know it is.

How could he.

I look up into the sky as thunder suddenly rings in my ears, the lightening flashes telling me it's time to go home.

But I Don't want to go home. Not to a liar. Not to him. 

How could I be such a fool to believe he loved me, that I was his one and only. I understand it's messed up with our situation now, but that baby was made way before we found out we were brothers.

How could he.

I feel a drop of water on my face and I let another one drip down my cheek from my own eye. Eleanor has a child too, one probably Harry will neglect because of....

Me.

I told Harry to distance herself from Eleanor. Is the reason why she's crying because of me? Does she think she will be Left alone to raise a child because of what I've done?

What have I done?

What have I done.

*  
I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here.

I feel my heart clench as Harry opens the door and he looks genuinely worried. The bastard.

"Louis!"

I watch as mum pushes past Harry and tells him something about towels and he disappears. 

Please don't come back. Never come back.

"Louis? Louis darling, whats wrong?"

mum is waving her hand in front of my face and I don't understand why she doesn't just slap me. Slap me for being the idiot I am.

"Louis baby, whats wrong?"

"Mom, what happened?"

"Jesus Harry.....I-I dont know. H-Hes not responding."

Harry approaches me and leans down to stare right into my eyes. How can he do this without feeling guilty of lying to me. 

"Blue? Blue, whats wrong."

How fucking dare he call me Blue.

"Louis baby, whats wrong?"

Don't fucking call me baby when you have one with another girl.

"Lou. Answer me."

Harry has tears in his eyes and no, I won't feel bad. I wont.

"Louis. Answer me."

Harry grabs a hold of my shoulders and shakes me, and I can't help but feel numb as his thumbs press into my skin.

"Dont do that! I-I dont ...I dont know. Im going to put Louis in a bath and then dont call the doctor. I dont know whats wrong with him. C-Call the doctor Harry."

mum begins to lead me into the restroom, and really, whats the use of any of this.  She makes a bubble bath and makes me slip in it, and I watch as the bubbles form and form and finally disappear. Its a cycle, and I wish i could be a bubble.

I wish I could just disappear and never come back.

"Did you call him already?"

"I-I cant find him. I cant find his phone number."

"Stay here then, Ill go look for it."

what's the use mum.

I can feel Harry's stare on the side of my head and it's no long before he's sitting down on the floor, next to me in the bath tub.

"L-Lou? what happened? Why are you like this? Please talk to me. Im so sorry."

What happened Harry? What happened was that you lied to me. And now you have another child.

"I was jealous earlier. I let him get the best of me. Im sorry. I should have never done it."

Jealous? Jealous of what. That's not what you did wrong. I feel as he places bubbles in my hair and what the hell Harry. washing my hair isn't going to fix it.

"Louis, I understand if you dont want to talk to me but at least talk to my mom. S-Shes really worried."

She's not the one that did anything wrong.

"Did something happen while you were out there? Im sorry Louis, I didnt know you only wanted to go to the park. Im such an arsehole Im sorry. I love you. Please talk."

You love me? Are you serious, you LOVE me? You wanna know what's wrong, I'll tell you what's wrong. I stop ignoring what's in front of me and I turn towards him, watching as his eye's widened when I meet his gaze.

"I saw Her."

I saw Eleanor.

"Saw who? Your mom?"

You fucking idiot. Harry tries to reach for my face and I feel my blood burning with the gesture, having no hesitation to slap him away.

I hate him.

"Get out."

"Louis, wh-"

"Get out Harry. Harry get out!"

"Louis pl-"

"I SAID GET OUT! MOM!!!!!! MOM!!!!"

"Louis whats wrong?"

He won't leave. I can't stand him, I never want to see him again. I splash him with the soap in hopes it will burn his eyes be cause how can he sit here and expect for me to be okay with such a lie. I love him. Im in love with him. I fell for him and although we can't be together, its still not am excuse.

mum comes in and she is my saviour.

"MOM, TELL HIM TO LEAVE!"

"harry, please sweetie, step out for a second."

"But mo-"

"Harry, please step out."

He listens and I am glad for her rescue, watching as he walks out defeated, and I take notice of what seems my solution for this whole problem.

*

Mother answers the phone and I can hear from far away that supposedly the paramedics are outside to get me.

"stay right here sweetie. were going to get you some help."

im running out of time.

She places a kiss on my forehead and walks out, myself seeing a glance of Harry as she shuts the door.

This is my chance.

I get off the floor and instantly reach for the razor, breaking it apart with the edge of the sink until only the blade remains.

I hold it in my hand and feel my stomach swirl with the thought of whats to come, of what I have to do.

Harry needs to raise that child, so it wont grow up to only know the love of what a mother feels like because his father has abandoned him. It doesn't deserve it. The child has no fault. Im useless here, and to Harry, I mean nothing. Just like his promises. My baby will never mean anything to him. We're both just going to get in his way. He doesn't even like children, but I hope one day, he learns how to love his baby with her as much as I've came to love the one inside me. We'll be in a better place without him, I hope. Me and my baby can watch him from above as he learns the correct way to live, without the lies and corruption. I love Harry. I love my brother. and I wish him the best. I hope one day he realizes, what a beautiful miracle Eleanor gave him.

Goodbye Harry. I'll always love you.

I feel the sting as the blade pierces my skin but I dont drag it across my skin, immediately. I push it in deeper and deeper, so the wound can become more quickly fatal. I fail, and watch as Harry slams the door open and he sees me with those beautiful green eyes, I fell in love with everytime.

"Im sorry."

Im sorry you had to see me this way.

Everything goes black.

\------------

Memories come flashing in from the hospital and it all makes sense. The fight, why I told him to leave, my swirling emotions and the horrible feeling inside me as I watched him leave.

Just disappear like I wanted to.

"I can't believe he never told you. I-I thought you knew."

"B-But I dont understand. This was before I went into a coma. D-did he not know?"

"About Jane?"

I nod and William shakes his head, pulling me into a tighter hug as we sit on the floor with our backs pressed to the bed.

"Harry never knew about his daughter until after you slipped into a coma. Since you and him flew back to the states the minute he found out you were pregnant with Ethan, it never really gave a chance to Eleanor to tell him he had a daughter waiting for him back at home. She didn't mind that much since she was with Nick, but she did ultimately tell him when he came back here to tell the rest of the family about what happened to you. He didn't believe it at first, but after the DNA test showed otherwise, he made her at least move to the East coast of the states so he could alternate between seeing Jane and keeping an eye on you."

This is an absolute mess. 

It's too much. too much to handle.

"I-I just....this is insane."

"When you finally woke up, his visits to Florida did minimize. He did send post cards though and letters every month although Jane probably had no clue what was going expect she got pictures of her dad and her step brother in the mail , but yeah, this past year, he did visit more or Eleanor came into town so Ethan could play with her. She was only two months older than Ethan, so they got along just fine. I-It just really surprises me, you didn't kno...I mean, I kind of understand why he didn't tell you."

"Are you really siding with what he did?"

"No no Louis. What he kept from you was wrong but I do understand why he would do it."

"And what would that be?"

"Isn't it obvious."

William turns to face me and I shake my head.

"He was scared of loosing you."

"That's not tru-"

"Louis, when you found she was pregnant, you went bonkers and almost killed yourself and Ethan. You have to give Harry some understanding for not wanting to tell you he had a daughter when you woke up with no memory."

William seems to be scowling at me and I sigh, realizing he's kind of right.

"But.....I mean. so what, was he going to keep her a secret forever? so when she would have her graduation or whatever, did he just expect me to be okay with another excuse of a photo shoot in the east coast."

"Well, that's not really necessary anymore since she's no longer with us, Lou. She passed a few months ago."

What

"J-Jane's dead?"

"Yeah."

William frowns and I can feel the tears striving to escape my eyes and I dont fight them.

"She passed away in February, She was diagnosed with some disease, I dont know the name of it, months before and the day of Ethans Birthday party, she was admitted to the hospital. Harry only got to talk to her for a few minutes during the day, too busy with arranging all the stuff, but it was because he thought it was just another false alarm. It had happened five times before. Normally, he'd fly off the second Eleanor called him, but he decided, for once he would try and make sure Ethan had a good birthday before flying off. But it wasn't a false alarm. Eleanor called again that night to say the doctors had said she had little time left but Harry didn't end up going because he was too, in the hospital."

My heart sinks when I realize, what I prevented. 

"C-Cause of my concussion."

William nods and I feel devastated. Harry didn't get to say his last goodbye to his daughter because he stayed with me.

"Ever since, I feel Harry's never forgiven himself for it. That time was hard for him Louis. You were berly getting your memory back and remembering Ethan was yours and he had to deal with the funeral arrangements back here for two days before he was a actually able to leave to Florida. After he flew back from her service, I think that's when he finally snapped. He wasn't the same. Me and Edward had to keep you away because although you wouldn't say anything, we saw your bruises Louis. Those weren't love bruises, he was just angry. Those days he spent locked in his room, Edward had to keep an eye on him because he would get out of control and punch the walls for release. Then Edward had the idea of putting him into kick boxing so he could release his anger in another type of way but there was days his feelings would catch up to him and he'd snap too and break their equipment."

"I-I didn't I-I didnt kno-"

William pulls me into a hug and I let myself break down because I have been nothing but trouble to Harry. All he needed was a helping hand, and I turned my back on him when he most needed it.

"Don't you dare and blame this on your self Louis. You didn't know okay, you never meant to do half of the things you did on purpose. I know you love Harry."

"I-I do.,But I don't deserve him."

"Don't say that."

William slaps me in the back of my head and I pull away, looking around on the floor.

"What are you do-"

"Where are the keys?"

"what for?"

"I need to go find him and apologize."

William stares at me for a couple of seconds before fishing in his Back pockets and taking out his keys.

"Take my car. and don't wreck it."

I nod while I sniffle and give him a huge hug, before pulling back.

"Thank you."

He gives me a nod and I wipe my eyes, before running out the room in search of my broken love.


	54. Chapter 54

Guys M SO SORRY. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO END TOMORROW BUT I HAVENT UPDATED IN 3 days SO IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE DELAYED IM SORRY.

Its just I was really busy & heart broken but im back. im ready to end what I started. (and before you guys ask, no this isnt the last chapter or epilogue. kay)  
\---

[3rd POV]

The streets never looked so dull to Louis before the day he realized,

he'd fucked up.

And not only had he fucked up, Harry' had fucked up too. 

And they both knew it.

After day of roaming around the streets of L.A, gym after gym, beach after beach, Louis settled on going to the place he should have thought of first.

The Bar.

It hadn't hit Louis until he realized, Harry's vehicle had been parked outside the house when he'd left in Williams sportscar. 

He couldn't have gotten that far.

So Louis parked in a small, cosy club right about two blocks from their home and parked the vehicle away enough to not get hit by any drunk on the street. Louis knew William loved that car more than himself.

When Louis reached the entrance, he saw the bouncer and groaned because,

he didn't have an ID. 

But he didn't want to drive back already being parked and so close to his destination.

"I.D kid?"

"Look, I really need to get in there."

"No I.D. No Going in."

"Look sir, please just let me slip in right quick. im not here to drink or hook up or whatever you people do in there. Have you seen a tall lad with messy curls, green eyes, most likely looked angry and a long sleeved, black shirt. I've been looking for him all day and Ethan, his son, is missing him and crying at home and he wont stop throwing his toys at the wall and no one's particularly home to take care of him right now because he wouldn't get in the car with me and he knows how to turn the stove and you have no idea what he's capable of, he burned the kitchen down once an-."

"Alright, Alright! 5 five minutes and you're out."

And maybe that last part was a little lie, but Louis was desperate.

The bouncer unclicked the red rope and let Louis slip by, who nodded and muttered a small thank you before going in.

The music was awfully loud for only 7pm at night, and a little packed for a Thursday, but Louis pushed the thoughts away.

His heart did sink a little when he noticed those curls, those curls hanging low at the bar. He didn't really know what to say yet, but it was better than not trying to approach the situation at all.

He didn't mean to, didn't mean to clumsily run up and hug Harry from behind, but he did.

He did and let out a small little sob as he did, muttering a small sorry.

Harry didn't flinch not even for a second, stretching his arm and patting Louis back in comfort before moving it away.

Once Louis pulled away, Harry turned to face him, and Louis hated what he saw.

His eyes were evidence of at least an hour worth of crying as well as his eyelids, that were begging to be closed shut.

"We need to talk."

we're the four words Harry said before leading Louis out of the club, ignoring the cold looks the bouncer was giving him.

\-------

They were on a mountain.

Well not necessarily, but that's how it felt for Louis.

They were at a nearby park, sitting on top of a hill as they watched the sun set disappear and the moon take it's place.

A lot of finger pointing had been done, to the point where both of them were a crying mess before the moon had actually rose, which to Louis, was more than enough.

"I didn't want to loose you, okay? It's not so easy to come out with the news that I had a daughter."

"I understood if you did for the first year, because I had no clue myself what was going on, but it was two years Harry. Your daughter was 3. We're you planning to hide her from me forever?"

"No Louis, I just wanted you to mature first before I told you the truth."

"Am I not mature enough for you then? is that what it is?"

Louis couldn't help the anger boiling in his skin as he turned to face Harry, but Harry wasn't any different.

"No Louis. You were and still are not mature"

Louis could feel the frown replace his scowl and was not content, not wanting the change to happen.

"You didn't care about maturity when you were fucking me at the age of 14."

"That's because you threw yourself at me, you slut, it was bound to happen."

"That is a lie!"

"What do you remember? You lost your memory. You dont know shit."

And that stung, stung Louis right in the chest. And it stung because he really didn't know. he didn't know if what Harry said had been true.

"I-Im sure it's not true though."

Louis said less confidently, and Harry just smirked. and that made Louis even more mad.

"You got pregnant at the age of 14 Louis. Fourteen. What more proof do you need."

"B-But you were the one that did it."

"Yes, but I was 17 and I did the same to Eleanor but she was my age. She was at least legal when she had Jane, but you were still a child. An immature child who couldn't even remember his fucking son when he looked him in the god damn face."

Harry, who was sitting down on the calm, cool fall grass just glared down at Louis, who looked down at his criss crossed legs and try to hold his tears in.

"I-Its not my fault. I didn't ask to forget."

"But no one told you to stop remembering either. you did that on your own."

"Because you all lied to me! You all never helped me remember the correct things. you put ideas in my brain that were never supposed to be there, memories that never existed! you made it ten times worse!"

Harry stayed silent and looked away, looking out at every one now leaving the park because it was getting dark. 

or so at least, he wanted to believe.

"I love you, Louis."

Louis didn't feel right.

"But."

And there it was.

"We....I can't. No more, Louis."

And Louis could feel it. He could feel all the tugs in his heart getting ready to yank his heart out and throw it to the trash, where it rightfully belong.

Harry turned to Louis and he could feel his heart crumble into little pieces, the way Louis blue eyes never shined any more, never crinkled just right when he'd smile, and his laugh, never was convincing enough to believe he was truly happy.

And of course Harry never truly meant what he said to Louis just seconds ago, because Louis was the most amazing person he known. Having to wake up, clueless, and still raising a child he didn't even know was his, was mature and brave. Opening his legs just because he'd open his heart to Harry, wasn't really being a slut. And crying himself to sleep, muttering 'I want to remember' every other night, was enough for Harry to know he didn't purposely wanted to forget what was in the past.

But he'd never let Louis know that.

 

"I've hurt you Louis. I've hurt you worse than you'll ever remember. I have hit you before, embarrassed you, publicly humiliated, isolated you, robbed you of your innocence, cheated,emotionally abused, threatened, almost made you loose your children twice, kidnapped you, put you in a coma, lied and deceived, and used you, for.....just cause I could."

And Louis was in tears now, shaking as he clutched his knees to his chest.

"B-But we all mess up, Harry. I lied. I kissed another guy. I went behind your back and tried to sue you. I wished bad things on you when o-our daughter didn't make it. I said awful things you didn't deserve. A-And I wasnt there when you needed me."

And Harry was shaking too now, but hid his hands under his legs, not quite wanting to back down yet. because he couldn't.

he wouldn't.

"There's a difference between us though, Louis."

"W-what."

"I don't want you."

Louis could feel the blood stop rushing through his veins be cause, there was no reason for It anymore.

"L-Liar."

Louis could feel the color drain from his face, but Harry shook his head.

"Y-You're lying."

"No."

"You we're going to propose to me!"

"And never show up at the wedding."

Louis shook his head and Harry nodded, feeling like throwing up as Louis looked at him in fear.

"Y-You wouldn't do that."

"You don't know me Louis."

"But you wouldn't do that. You're not like....you're not."

"The real Louis would know who'd be the first person I run off to when things went bad."

"No."

"Yes Louis."

"N-No."

Harry took out his cellphone from his pocket and went over through his contacts, pulling up a face and number Louis didn't want to see.

"N-No, you wouldn't."

"I would. I am after you leave tonight."

"No!"

"Gonna do this."

Harry pinned Louis on the grass and hovered over him, although not placing any kisses or making any love.

"Harry!"

"Gonna hold her like this until she's screaming my name like you are now."

"No!"

"Gonna make love to her all night long and wake up in the morning and make love to her then just like you thought I did to you, but really, it was never love."

Louis shivered and let the tears fall as Harry smiled, although he didn't understand why there was water coming out of his when he was laughing.

"You love me, Harry."

"No."

"A-And I love you."

"NO."

Harry screamed In Louis face but the smaller boy didn't budge.

"Y-You do. You have loved me since you were 17 and I have loved you since I was 14 and we have loved each other since then."

"That's bull shit. I dont love you!"

"Y-You do! It's going to be four years Harry and you still do!"

"I love a good fuck, thats what I love."

"Y-You love me and our kid!"

And Louis tried to pull Harry in for a hug, but Harry pushed his hands away, pinning him back down.

"I don't love you nor the kid."

"he's your son!"

"You never know Louis, he may not be, considering that you were such a slut back then. come to think of it, now I want a DNA test."

And that was equivalent to a punch right in the gut. Louis stopped trying to hug him and Harry knew he'd figure out Louis weakest point.

And he pushed at it.

"I want a DNA test. I Don't want anything to do with a child that isn't mine."

"Ethan is yours Harry."

It came out as a whisper as Louis tried to contain himself, try to calm the beast that was aching to be released inside.

"He's your son."

Harry shook his head and Louis eyes widened like saucers, trying to push Harry away.

"What do you me- Harry, HE'S YOUR SON."

"Probably not."

"ETHAN IS YOURS HARRY, HOW CAN YOU EVEN THINK SUCH A THING."

And Louis was it again, tears falling down as Harry smiled so big, Louis wondered how it didn't hurt.

"He's probably not so I suggest you just go Louis and never look back. Never look for me."

Louis watched as Harry pulled back and yank the same hospital bracelet off his wrist, throwing it next to where his head laid the grass, and screamed.

"And take your daughter too! which is not dead by the way, and if you had stopped being a complete ass, would have known she is a premature baby and still in the hospital. You need that too see her, so take it, because by the way you whore around, she probably isn't mines either."

And Louis could feel his heart racing by everything that was going on, picking up the bracelet and seeing

Athena Aria Styles 

a long with some other numbers and date, written across it.

"S-Shes Al-"

"Now go Louis!"

Harry yanked Louis up from the grass and turned him around, pushing him lightly towards the pavement.

"take your children and never look back."

Louis tried to turn around but Harry didn't let him, pushing him again until he took a step.

"Harry, plea-"

"go"

Harry pushed him again, not letting him face him anymore.

It continued, Louis pleading until Louis had reached the pavement and Harry pushed once more, harshly.

"FINE. I GET IT."

Louis raised his hands in defeat, and took one step away from Harry, into the road.

"I get it."

He said once again, a little softer, burying his face in his hands as he walked away.

And Louis obeyed Harry, not turning back to see him anymore, getting in his brothers car and driving away.

And it was a good thing too, because if he had turned around, he would have seen Harry on the floor, crying his heart out, because he truly understood now, the concept of setting something you love, free.

~~~~~~

Louis looked down in awe at the small clear cubicle, and tried so hard not to break down in front of the nurse.

In the small container, was his precious little miracle, his fighter, his survivor, his second blessing in this world he didn't quite understand.

"Lovely, isn't she? She's going to be a tough one, I just know it."

The nurse complimented and Louis gave her a small nod, not trusting his voice at all at the moment.

In a small pink blanket, with a small tube attached to her mouth, was his only days old daughter, Athena, sleeping peacefully for what seem eternity.

Louis just hovered above the cubicle and watched s the nurse excused herself for a second a moving away to another baby waking up and leaving him all by himself.

"Beautiful girl."

Louis whispered and let a tear fall onto the glass, quickly wiping it away before the nurse could notice. 

When she came back, Louis pulled away for a second and closed his eyes, not wanting to be the cry baby in the new borns room because although this was such a big gift he'd been giving, he didn't feel complete.

"Look, she's opening her eyes. does so every few hours. aren't they the prettiest thing."

When Louis leaned back in, he remembered why he felt something was missing, trying so hard not to crumble and just fall down on the floor as he looked into his baby girls, bright green eyes.


	55. Chapter 55

sorry guys, this is so fucking delayed im sorry. they cut my Wi-Fi off and I only have like .2gb left and I have 2 parties to organize tomorrow bc new years and some birthday and its been shit trying to get better bc I sprained my fucking knee and I can't walk correctly so there goes my spare time, trying to exercise so I can fucking organize a damn party tomorrow and I still need to upload story B and update Foul Play and IM SO SORRY IM JUST COMPLAINING. NEVER GET COMPLICATED JOBS OKAY. 

#UselessAdviceFromAmy 

***************

It's a living hell,

Louis thinks as he rummages through envelopes and envelopes in the kitchen counter for the letter the operator on the phone is asking for.

"I-Im sorry. Can you give just a second."

"Yes sir."

He doesn't normally deal with bills, or any bills for that matter because he doesn't necessarily pay, Harry does, but he has no choice seeing as they cut the cable off and Ethan won't stop complaining that he wants to watch The Wiggles and the tv just shows the number for the company.

He's on his second cabinet now and he doesn't see what they're asking for, because what the hell is an account number. can't they just look up Harry's name and show his record?

"Sir."

"Just give me a moment."

Louis speeds up his pace and freezes when he feels one of the loose sheets drag across his finger, feeling the edge touch his skin as a prickle of red liquid drops out. He hisses and flinches away, sucking on his finger as he tries his best to calm down because its fine. He'll be fine.

"I-I can't find it."

"It won't be necessary Sir. I apologize for the misunderstanding, but the owner of the account is the only who is allowed to make changes or review the bill. We're not to disclose any other information. Does Mr.Styles happen to be around?"

And that's the problem.

Louis rests his head against the corner and shakes his head, although he feels dumb afterwords because he can't see him.

"No."

"My apologies for the inconvenience, but we cant r-"

"It's fine. Have a nice day."

"You too, Sir."

The phone disconnects and Louis sighs against the tile, trying to make sense of his punishment. He wont stoop low enough to call Harry, he doesn't want to, because it won't do any good.

He's the one that left them in the first place, and after 6 days of disappearing without any sign, Louis knows he meant it.

Louis hears the fridge open and slowly turns his attention, watching as Ethan eyes it up and down.

His curls are wild as he climbs inside and Louis hears him moving a whole bunch of bags, jars of jelly probably hitting another, and he steps out, looking defeated.

Louis heart crumbles, seeing his son walk towards him and tugging on his pants. Louis stares into his blue eyes and watches as a small pout forms on his little lips before he points at the fridge, whining.

"Daddy. I want milk. no milk."

Louis tries to hold his tears in as he picks up his son and puts him on the small curve of his hip, because he knows why there's groceries missing. Harry, Louis, and Ethan always go food shopping together. And if there's no food, it's because they haven't got a chance this week.

They recently got out the hospital, and Harry disappeared.

No, left.

"Im Sorry baby, I-I forgot."

"Well....can you not forgot and get milk. I no wanna wait till daddy comes back from trip. we can get milk, he wont get mad."

Louis nods his head and tries to shove the thoughts away when days from now, Ethan will be asking why his dad is taking such a long time to come back.

"Sure honey, let me go get my wallet and keys."

Ethan smiles and he feels so horrible. He's a liar and Harry's not on a trip.

"Yay Milk!"

Harry's just not coming back.

********

Louis waits patiently in line while Ethan shakes the box of Fruit loops in his face, excited that it promises a collectible Cars toy inside. The milk is in the bigger basket along with the shoes Ethan kept taking off because

"too hot in here for shoes daddy"

and

"I not walking anyway. you pushin me."

He's feeling a small migraine coming on and isn't sure if it's because he hasn't slept well recently. Either way, it's hurting Louis and he just wishes the line would move faster be cause he wants to go home.

There's two people in front of Louis when he begins to pull his wallet out and freezes, feeling utterly stupid he didn't realize his mistake earlier. He sees the credit card and feels his face become pale, because Harry doesn't want anything to do with him or Ethan, and the card is under Harry's name.

Louis looks back and sees there's at least 3 people behind him, and thinks would it be annoying to pull out of the line, now. He's never payed anything before, Harry refusing because

"Im the one with the thousand paying job"

and 

"you're my baby. you deserve to be spoiled."

But this is different.

Has he cancelled them yet?

Is he even allowed to use them?

He looks at Ethan, so ready to eat his bowl of cereal when he gets home, he doesn't think twice before taking out his phone and sending out such a pathetic text.

He's desperate.

\-------------  
To: Daddy xoxo <3  
10:09am, 09/26.

Really sorry, I know you don't want to talk to me or want anything to do with us but can I buy some Milk for Ethan with your card. I'm sorry, I didn't think about it when I came to the store.   
\-------------

And he feels the hairs stand on his neck when he thinks of the possibility of Harry cutting off his cellphone since he pays for his bill. Louis feels even more shit when he realizes, he's so dependant on Harry, and that's about to change 

\-------------  
From: Daddy xoxo <3  
10:10am, 09/26.

yea, u can buy his cereal and milk

\-------------

Louis lets out a huge breath he didn't even know he was holding when he gets a message back, meaning the phone line is still on and he hasn't cancelled the credit card.

Just in time, Louis next and he puts both the milk and cereal on the counter, glancing at a small box of Aleve Headache pills, before placing it on as well.

He slides the card and allows the cashier to place the bags on the cart while he puts in 0517 as the pin and the small screen shows APPROVED.

"Have a nice day."

The Brunette man chants and Louis gives him a small nod. He pushes the cart a little forward before he takes his phone out and is sending another text out, just to be polite.

\-------------  
To: Daddy xoxo <3  
10:16am, 09/26.

Thank you

\-------------

"Come on Ethan. up up baby."

Louis rolls the cart to the side and grabs a hold of the two small bags that hold the milk, cereal and medicine with one hand and tries to settle Ethan on his hip with another.

He carries Ethan out to the car and drives home, just ready to get his day over with.

When he's done serving Ethan his small bowl of cereal and just putting on Elmo on the regular TV channel, he hates the fact that he has another message. 

 

\-------------  
From: Daddy xoxo <3  
10:17am, 09/26.

buy him whatever u need

\-------------

Because it's not fair to be the bad and the good guy at the same time and it doesn't make any sense either.

 

********************

[Louis POV]

 

"You are like the size of daddys shoe. you elf!"

"Ethan."

Ethan giggles as he waves at Athena and I scowl back at him.

"That's not a nice thing to say."

"I no mean it bad daddy. she's pretty elf."

Ethan giggles again and I can hear the nurse chuckle, which im not surprised with. Everytime we come, he has something to say, and unfortunate to have the same nurse, gets to hear all of it.

"Still Ethan, your sister is not an elf. She's just still a baby."

"Well duh daddy. she not a dot like me."

"a what?"

"a dot. like you and daddy."

"Adult?"

"Yes. she's baby."

"You're a baby too. My baby."

I press a kiss to Ethan cheek and he groans, wiping his cheek before I press a thousand more and the nurse is laughing.

"Daddy does all this all time."

"Does he, really?"

Ethan turns towards the nurse and I'm a little proud he isn't unwilling to converse with other people. He nods his head and I place another one to his cheek, hearing him whine but laugh.

"Yes. so much. to daddy too. tho, he gives my other daddy kisses on lips. and neck. and tummy. and-"

"And that's enough Baby."

I cover Ethans mouth and all I can see is his little eyebrows furrow, while I can hear the friendly girl laugh again. This is not the time.

"He's talking about Mr.Styles, isn't he?"

"Y-Yeah."

I can feel my cheeks redden at the moment and hope my short answer is enough to drop the conversation.

"He does seem like the man to give lots of kisses. You should see him in here. I'm sure if your daughter wasn't protected by the glass, she'd be eaten out of love in the blink of an eye."

The nurse giggles again and I'm confused.

"Wait, what do you mean in here? He come sees her?"

"Well absolutely, Sir. Everyday in the morning, when visiting hours begin. He tried bringing a teddy bear yesterday, but under her medical conditions, she's still not allowed around some items and he had to take it back. Did you not k...."

She stops talking and frowns.

"Sir, are you cryi-"

"Daddy? you said daddy was on trip?"

Ethan turns to me and I nod my head, wiping my eyes with the only free hand I have.

"He is Ethan. S-She's talking about another Mr.Styles. Right?"

My son looks at the nurse and she hesitantly nods, to my relief.

"Im sor-"

"Its fine. I-We need to go now. We'll come back tomorrow."

"Of course."

The nurse leads me and Ethan in the doorway and I try to keep myself composed, because it's been 6 days of misery already and I dont need anymore.

***********

*1 Week Later*

"Louis. You can't go again."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"You're right, I can't. But I'm advising you what to do. And it's for the best."

"I want these daddy! Please! Please! Please! Look. Lights!"

Ethan taps the small pair of shoes on the ground and wow, he wasn't kidding. Red, and blue glitters on the sides of the Power Rangers shoes and I sigh.

"We're here because your uncle Ed needs shoes Ethan. Put them back baby."

"But daddy."

"I said no. Put them back."

"Louis, let him get them. it's okay, ill pay."

"No, he has enough shoes at home."

I point at the shelf and watch as Ethan walks back with a frown. It hurts me too see him this way, but I already feel worthless with buying groceries on Harry's card last week and asking my brother for money will make me feel even worse.

"Now, what were you saying about Shirley's clotheswear shop."

"No, don't try and change the subject. Tonight."

"Edward, can you just drop it. I'm trying to get my minds off of things and it helped."

"I don't understand what you even go for though, you're not even allowed to drink. you're not 21."

"The music's nice."

I pick up a tennis shoe and hold it in front of Edward, although I can see his scowl through the shoelace loop.

My cell phone buzzes in my pants and I roll my eyes at Edward, who's still attempting to seem angry.

"It's dangerous though. I don't want you going by yourself. You never know what pervs lurk in those clubs."

\-------------  
From: Daddy xoxo <3  
5:37pm, 10/04

I frgt 2 tell u. Ethans moved up 1 size in foot so consider him buyn him new shoes.  
\-------------

I need to change that name and dammit,

How dare he want to care about Ethan now. 

He Left.

I don't reply back, and put my phone back in my pocket, because no, he's not being fair . I look up at Edward again.

"I went yesterday and I came back in one piece. isn't that enough proof I'm capable of handling myself on my own. I'm going to be 19 in two months Edward. im fine."

"But Louis, you have no necessity to be in those places!"

"Just like you have no necessity to be at skating parks but hey, you don't see me complaining."

"But you're too young"

"And you're too grown."

I snap and place the shoe back on the shelf, feeling Ethans hand on my jeans as he holds onto my leg. I look down and sigh when I see him pouting as he stares into nothing, and look back up to see Edward angry now.

"Louis, ple-"

"Hold onto that thought.....and keep it."

I turn around and head back to the children isle, looking at the signs above until I see Ethans number.

"Which one is it bud? Do they have it in your size?"

I squat down to meet Ethans eye level and I feel bad, a pair of shoes are enough to make his eyes sparkle.

"Really daddy?"

"Yes baby."

Ethan smiles and I watch as his curly hair bounces when he runs away into another isle. I stay still confused before looking back at the shelves and figuring out myself which ones he had previously picked out. 

I check both shoes are in the box before closing it and beginning to walk towards the counter, and I feel a tug at my pants again.

Ethan has the shoes in his hand and I stare at him confusion.

"Ethan, wha-"

"I hid them. its these."

Ethan hands me the shoes and when did this kid become so bright, too fast, too early. I look inside and see the number, laughing before I hand them to the cashier and shake my head.

"Baby, those are a size 2. its too big for you. don't worry, I got them already in your size."

Ethan lets his lips form into a small o shape before nodding and raising his hands.

"up up."

I pick him up and place him on my hip, before turning to the cashier and points at the screen.

"26.67"

I slide the card and watch as Edward approaches me, empty handed and still frowning.

"Got nothing I like here. I'll look for them in another mall."

"Okay."

"Ucle Ucle! Daddy bought me shoes!"

"Did he champ?"

"Thank you, have a nice day."

I grab the bag and Ethan helps me as we walk out, met with a crowd of other shoppers on a Saturday afternoon.

It's a little full for just a normal weekend, with no sales or specials,but whatever, im fine as long as there is no pushing.

We're walking down the mall,and I'm trying to ignore Edward as much as I can with all the jitter noise going around because really, I dont want to hear Edward try and talk me out of going to the club tonight. it's no use.

I slow down when I see a small sign that says now hiring in a glass window, which surprisingly turns Ethan into a wiggling mess. He slips out of my hold and before I know it, im running after him into Victoria's Secret.

"Ethan, get back here!"

I look around and blush as I see so many under garments surrounding me.

Ethan baby, why this store.

I can hear girls giggling and when I turn, Edward is blushing too as he looks for Ethan, the workers at the store pretty intrigued as he looks through nighties or gowns.

I look under where a shelf of clothing items are sitting and hear another giggle behind me, which isn't from the employees. I turn and all I see is pink.

"Boo!"

Im attacked with a whole bunch of panties and stand in shame as I place them all back in a rack. They're all over my shoulders and arms and when im done, I shiver as I can feel one still in my head, covering one eye, and im pretty sure, I look like a ridiculous pirate.

I take it off and hold it in front of me, gulping at how soft the texture is. It's black, and I think this is what people call lace, and has a little pink bow in the middle. When I turn it, in cursive, a tiny little print reads Daddy's Princess and oh no, Ethan why this store.

"Boo!"

I squeal and drop the pair of naughty undergarments, about to apologize when I realize it's only my son below me, looking up with now a pirate eye as he giggles.

"You like these daddy? These are for girls."

"W-Wha, No! Ethan you bad boy, wait. Get back here!"

Ethan runs away again but a small crash sounds behind me, making me turn in that direction instead.

When I look, I see Edward trying to assemble a mannequin back together and what the hell just happened.

"Edward, what the fuck are you doing."

"She came onto me, I swear."

The workers are giggling again and when I turn to look for my son, I can't seem to spy him anywhere in the store.

My heart begins to beat quickly when I see him, however, outside the store. There is a man in a black hoodie squatting in front of him, and placing a hand on his shoulder and 

No.

"ETHAN!!!!"

I scream in fear and my baby turns around, waving at me as I run towards him. The man stands up and walks away, fortunately, and I mentally slap myself for being so careless.

"Ethan baby, are you alright?!"

I pull him in a hug and begin to kiss him all over, looking for any marks but there is none. He's widened eye holding a small bottle of Victoria's Secret Soap and what in the world is with this kid.

"M fine daddy?"

"What did that man tell you? why are you talking to strangers? Dont you ever do that again, do you know how much you scared daddy?!"

"No, i....he told me not tell you."

"Ethan, I-"

"What happened?"

Edward comes behind me and I flinch, still feeling danger surrounding my baby. He has a girl beside him and she eyes us both strangely.

"Ethan ran out the store. I saw a man an-"

"Sir, you're going to have to pay for that."

The woman points and I turn back to Ethan again, who's holding the bottle. Which is the least of my worries right now.

"Wha-No. No, take it."

I grab the bottle off of Ethans hands and give it back to the blonde, and I hear Ethan whine.

"Daddy, I wanted bubbles!"

"NO. you've been bad!"

I carry my son and give his shoe bag to Edward, holding him enough to smack my hand against his bum. I can still feel the blood rushing through my veins, and ignore Ethans cries as I give him one more, because I will not tolerate that behavior.

"Daddy, m sorry.!"

"dont you dare do that again."

Edward and I call it a day, myself just feeling like I need the night out so badly.

***********

When we get home, Ethans fast asleep in his booster seat I can't find myself, wanting to wake him up. With dried tears on his face, I take him to his bedroom and lay him on the bed, beginning to take his jeans off to change him into pyjamas.

I find myself groaning when I notice his front pocket feels a little big and realize, I've just let my son get away with theft.

I pull out the small black lace panties from his packet and have the urge to wake him up and give him another spanking because this is not acceptable.

However, I look at the time and just, decide to do it tomorrow morning when he wakes up because it's getting late and I should really be getting ready to leave.

Heading back to my room, I throw the pair of panties in my drawer and change into much cleaner clothes.

I just need to get my mind off of things.

*************

The music is thumping in my ears, voices shouting over mine, but I can't seem to care as I feel a hand against my thigh.

I've got my catch for the night.

Although yesterday night, I could only manage to get a steamy make out session against the wall, im determined to get more.

Im determined to forget.

Yeah, I might not be old enough to buy a drink yet, 

 

but that doesn't mean I can't get a hold of it an other way.

I look into Mr. Green eyes with blonde hair and he gets me a drink faster than he pulls me into a kiss.

"Whats your name pretty boy?"

"Louis. You?"

"Daniel."

Before I know it, were headed for the restroom stalls and I can feel my skin buzzing with excitement.

***********

The next morning, Louis awakes in his bedroom restroom, throwing up the drinks and remembering the events the night before, where he kicked Daniels balls for touching his bum too much and leaving the club in tears with Harry's name on his lips.

He mutters to himself, he'll try again.


	56. Chapter 56

"I can't stand seeing him like this anymore, Edward. We have to do something."

"There is nothing to do, William. Understand, he's not particularly doing any thing wrong."

"But this isn't him!"

"Shhh!"

Edward cups William's mouth as they move away from the restroom door. They can still hear the water running and Louis sobs through the small crack that was left open.

He scowls and his younger brother mouths an apology before slowly peeking in again, where they can only see the back of Louis back and hair.

William cringes seeing the way Louis is scrubbing himself, the sponge sounding harsh against his arm, Louis being rough with his own skin, while he whimpers.

William pulls away from the door and shakes his head, running his fingers through his fringe.

"He's fucking clean, William. He's shaved all over already, except his head. He's clean. Yet I think he still believes he's dirty! He's not!"

"Hush will you, he'll hear."

"Edward. He needs help. We need to tell hi-"

"Tell him what? That we've been spying on him when he bathes and we think he's scrubbing himself too hard? Yeah okay. Genius of a plan."

"Edward, this isn't funny."

"Don't you think I want to help him too?"

William peeks his head in again and just watches as Louis puts shower gel on the sponge for the fourth time and begins the process of cleaning himself at his neck, where he knows Louis will start, moving down his chest, legs, stomach, and then arms.

"We can't let him go out anymore. Since he started going out at night to bars, he's been coming home drunk and emotional.....And doing THAT."

"He's fucking 18 William. You think that's gonna work?"

"Well it's better than just standing here doing nothing."

Edward shakes his head and walks away, leaving William to sigh and accept defeat too. He goes to his room and looks up depression symptoms while Edward goes wake up Ethan so he can start on his breakfast and cartoon routine of everyday.

********

[Louis POV]

I watch as Ethan stands at the other side of Athena's cubicle, making funny faces, pressed to the glass. He's a piggy at the moment, and a frowny one too, but he still looks so adorable.

"I just wanna play with her ready."

"You won't be able to play with her for a long time bear. She's still small. You have like one year left to wait."

"One Year?!"

I nod and he whines, making me chuckle at him.

"But daddy, Am gonna be so old."

"Just one year older."

"how older?"

I ponder at how old enough my daughter would really have to be to be able to play with my son and it gives me a little heart ache, realizing my baby boy is growing up to be a big boy.

"Well...your turning 4 in a few months so by the time Athena turns 1 and is able to actually play, you will be about....5."

"5? Oh gosh. that is old!"

"You're going to be in school too baby. Are you excited?"

"I don't know. can I bring me sister?"

"I dont think so bear."

"Then I don't wanna go."

"You're gonna have to."

Ethan groans a little and I am amused. He's such a childish baby, on the inside.

"Well you come to school with me then?"

"I can walk you there, yes."

"But not stay?"

"No."

"Why. I know you are old but...is okay. you can come."

I gasp and fake offense, scowling at Ethan.

"Old? Old? Do you see me Growing a beard like Santa? do you?"

Ethan giggles and I cross my arms, shaking my head.

"Im mad at you because you called me an old man. dont talk to me."

"Daddy!"

I shut squint my eyes and look away, seeing Ethan from the corner of my vision coming around Athena and hugging my leg and climbing onto my lap. I hope the chair can hold both of us, feeling Ethan begin to bounce on my lap because I wont pay him attention.

"Daddy, I sorry. I no mean it bad way."

I feel Ethan press a kiss to my cheek and I surrender, hugging him to my chest while he giggles.

"Your a pretty old man daddy."

"Oh Ethan, I am flattered."

"No you not.. before when you eat My baby sister yes but no fat anymore."

"Oh go-"

"Am I interrupting anything?"

My personal nurse walks in and I shake my head, offering her to come in. I cover up Ethans mouth Just in time be cause I could literally hear the 'Actually' rolling on the tip of his tongue, and the last thing I want to do, is be kicked out.

"Good afternoon Mr.Tomlinson, how are you?"

"Im fine mam."

"Has the doctor told you anything about your little girl here, when she would be able to go home?"

"No."

Her smiles stretches and its a little frightening, if im honest.

"Guess I'll be the one to break the news then. If all the tests come out Alright, there's a possibility you can leave here on Sunday with your daughter in your arms. Congratulations Mr.Tomlinson."

"Woah..um thank you."

I smile down at Ethan and he claps.

Nerves and Excitement fill me.

My baby girl is finally coming home.

**********

I don't understand what the big problem is, really. William and Edward are turning into over protective bum holes by the second, and it itches my skin.

The booze at bars for me is free, with a little bit of snogging and bum rubbing, and I'm set for the whole night.

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

I spin around in my chair and every one shouts as they pour some tequila drink over my face. Jeremy, I think his name is, licks it off and ends the cleaning with a kiss on the lips.

"My turn My turn!!"

I laugh as another man pushes aside, pretty hot, blonde hair, blue eyes, not really my type, but pretty sexy over all. I nod and Daniel, I think his name is, spins my chair again, and I get more drinks poured on.

My shirt is dripping wet, and I can feel my blood buzzing.

What do Edward and William see in this, wrong?

Blondie surprises me by taking a shot out of my collarbone and kissing my neck. Is a little more intimate than it should be, but I push him away, giggling as more men shout for their turns.

It's a nice feeling, the one of being wanted.

After the first couple of times I tried to get in someone pants, I realize what mistake I was doing. There had to be at least a little chemistry for it all too work.

Obviously I hadn't found that yet, but I always kept looking.

I had to.

"You, the one with the pretty green eyes. You're next."

I point my finger at the man standing in front of me, and he comes right in, pressing a kiss to my lips before the tequila has even been poured.

I'll keep looking.

***********

"Dammit Louis, you can't keep doing this."

"Damn you Edward, stop shouting in my ear!!"

"Im whispering you idiot and I am by the door."

I hold onto my stomach and regret not eating that sandwich before going out yesterday night. I am in pain and not even after emptying out my stomach, do I feel alright.

I would think the feeling would go away after the many times ive gone out,but I can't seem to grow accustomed to it.

Why.

"J-Just, go. Mind your own business."

" this is my business, I can't stand seeing my little brother waste away in bars and booze. your 18 for fucks sake, and with 2 children. Would it hurt to act more mature, for once."

Maturity.

"Y-You know. T-That's one of the reasons Harry left me. Because I wasn't mature."

I giggle and Edward frowns at me, before pulling me into a hug.

"Oh Lou..."

"The Hell...why are you hugging me, stop being a wuss, I didn't even say anything worth hugging about."

"I can see right through you Louis. more than you think."

I giggle again, and poke at his stomach, watching him pull away, eyebrows furrowed.

" Turned into a fuken X-ray machine, did you now?"

"Louis."

"Zap Zap Mothaf-"

"LOUIS."

Edward raises his voice at me and I push him away, getting up on my own feet and pushing right past him.

"I need sleep. I'll talk ......to you..talk tomorrow."

"You mean today in the afternoon. it's 4am Louis."

"Yeah yeah, morning, afternoon, same shit."

"Ah ah, no. Go to your own room."

Im about to open Ethans door, but he stands in front of it.

"You bully. I I just wanted. Just wanted kiss him good night"

"You should have done that last night instead of going out Louis. Now go."

Edward points at Harry and my bedroom, and I frown. Should I even call it that anymore?

"Fine fine."

*********

I can see it all over my arms.

I scrub but they dont go away.

They wont go away.

************

"Louis, that's enough!"

"Dammit you two, you can't control me!"

"You're not going out Louis. You're going to stay in just like you should."

"Will you too stop being so uptight."

"Louis."

"A little party never killed anybody..."

"Louis please. Please think about it.  You have another duty to fulfill and that's take care of your children."

"I am."

"No Louis, you go out every single fuken night. It's been weeks Louis. We understood the first time, the second, and maybe even a third, but this has just gotten out of hand"

William steps in front of the door and I groan, putting the keys in my pocket, ready to move him out the way.

"William, listen to me. Athenas coming home this weekend. Can you give me a break and let me live a little before im completely crammed with things to do. Please."

I pout at him and he's gaping, along with Edward right beside him.

"Are you serious?"

"She's coming home?"

"yes."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Well I wanted it to be a surprise, but since you two won't let me enjoy my little remaining time of freedom, I had to ruin it."

I shrug and I see Edward hesitating by moving out the door path.

"William, I-"

"Fine. Just go. But this is it Louis. You have today, wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to get whatever you have, out your system. cause after she comes, I want this Louis, out."

"Okay okay."

I raise my hands in defeat and sprint to my car, ready for whatever brings me tonight.

******

Tonight, I don't head out to the usual club I attend, because this night, will be special.

I am determined to get laid.

Im wearing a fitted, buttoned down navy blue long sleeve with a pair of pants that make my ass look pretty good in the mirror. I fixed my fringe nicely, and I even have a little surprise underneath my pants.

William said so, I need to get it out of my system and I need to get it out quick.

I need to get out Harry.

I want someone else to take all those memories away, those touches, those kisses, those fingerprints, those love bites, him.

I slip into the bar and sit in an empty seat next to a man, I believe so, in a black hoodie, jeans, and a pair of white vans. He's got the hood on and I wonder, what kind of attire does that attract.

It seems my stare has stirred him, because before I know it, he raises his head and im met with pretty brown eyes and dark brown curls.

wowza.

he looks pretty hot, but

"Are you okay?"

I can see the sadness in his eyes. The man half heartedly smiles and nods, and before I know it, im making witty attempts to make conversation because, who in the world would make such a pretty man, sad.

*******

"I mean, not to be rude or anything, but I can't help wondering why you have the hood on. You do know that's equivalent to the same annoying guy wearing sunglasses, inside."

"is it?"

"Very much so."

"Well then, I am that guy."

I chuckle and he smiles again, before turning back to the bar and bringing up another glass of whatever clear liquid is in there.

It gets a little silent for a couple of minutes, but I find myself smiling when he turns again, with a name.

"Jonathan. Nice to meet youuu....?"

"Louis."

"Loueh?"

"Yes."

"Not from here, aren't you?"

"I would feel offended if I gave you the opposite impression."

"Cheeky."

The man smiles again and i do so as well, turning my stool towards his.

He makes fun of my name a little bit more before I feel my curiosity get the best of me.

"So....why are you here on such a boring Tuesday night drinking alone at a bar?"

"isn't it obvious?"

"Love problems?"

"Love problems."

I make a small tsk sound and he smiles, before raising his glass and taking a chug. He does something with his hand and I am delighted to find the bartender placing a glass in front of me too.

"What about you, Loueh?"

I dont answer, taking the glass in my fingers and toasting one drink to the obvious answer, the man laughing slightly.

"Don't we all have them."

"Yeah, I believe so. How bad is yours? if you dont mind me asking."

"2 months since the split. you?"

"1 month."

"What a shame. You probably still feel the sting, dont you?"

I don't answer, findind myself shrugging and he pats me slightly in the back.

"I feel you man. can't say it gets better, because im still not at that point yet, but.....yeah, this isn't really any advice so...sorry. good luck?"

I laugh and he does so as well, from the corner of my eyes just seeing Jonathan's curls bounce as he do so.

"What happened to yours? if you dont mind me asking?"

I shake my head and sigh, not feeling so great where this is heading but a little comfortable.

"He........I.....just, The feelings weren't mutual anymore.....so....yeah."

"Oh, im sorry to hear that man."

"It's fine. Thanks. and yours?"

"She cheated on me with her ex."

And oh.

She.

"Oh."  
"Can't debate whether that oh was for her actions or for being a her."

"We'll the correct term is She."

Jonathan actually laughs and I find myself laughing too, although this has totally took a turn.

"You're a weird one."

"Tell me about it."

"We'll for starters, I can see you are wearing lace undergarments. Don't quite remembering seeing that in the men section last time I went so ill check again."

I feel my cheeks heaten as I look down and notice, my shirt is not covering much as I thought it did.

"O-oh. So it is weird? I'm sorry, I don't know.. I just thought some men liked it so I thought t-"

"Louehh. I was kidding."

He places a hand on mine as I reach out to pull my shirt down, shaking his head.

"You mind showing me? Only if you want."

I can hear in his voice, he genuinely cares whether I feel comfortable or not so I nod. I lift my shirt a little higher just enough to reveal one little pink bow in the corner. It's the ones Ethan stole from that store and they feel pretty nice if you ask me.

"Yeap. These are the same ones she had."

"Oh hush."

I slap him playfully on the shoulder and he chuckles.

"Kidding. Though I'm beginning to think you only came here to get some."

"Yeah, can say that in a way."

"We'll....I don't know why you're hiding those Loueh. If you would have just came in through those doors with only that on, you'd have all these men at their knees. Would have save your time from having a long conversation with this boring lad."

I laugh as Jonathan smiles at me and shake my head, because its real nice having a conversation with other people for a change.

"I don't mind."

Jonathan orders us another pair of drinks and smiles when he notices, I'm still not gone.

"Would you mind  coming with me to watch the people on the dance floor ridicule themselves? Promise It'll be fun."

"I don't mind."

***  
Me and Jonathan lean against the wall and wow, he wasn't kidding. These American people really know how to outdo themselves, that's for sure. 

I'm having a great time and what makes it even better, is when I learn that Jonathan too, isn't from America. He won't tell me what part of Euro he is but his accent seems familiar, and I like it enough.

"I'm going to get us our last set of drinks before I call it a night. Got work tomorrow."

The lemon drinks are really good. Although this wasn't how i expected to end my night, I'm grateful for the drinks. Free drinks.  

"That's fine."

I watch as Jonathan turns and disappears in the crowd, while my head begins to buzz. The music is becoming too loud and although I'd love to keep watching these people shake their bums as a 'dance' move, I'm thinking of calling it a night after too.

Before I know it, I'm being pressed to the wall and I accidentally step on Jonathan, leaving a dark shoe print on his white converse. And instead of getting a drink pushed in my hand, I see a shiny pair of car keys.

I feel lips attach to my neck and my skin shivers when he whispers in my ear,

"Meet me in my car. Sound the alarm so you can find it."

His voice is now way deeper and rougher and I wonder if this is his turned on voice. If it is, it's the hottest voice I have ever herd.

 he turns around and exits the club. 

*****  
I'm walking towards the end of the street, where Jonathan's car sounded, and I am hesitant on what I am doing.

I peek into the front seats and I see nothing but pitch dark, as well as the back seats, the broken lamp posts failing to do their job and shine light on the vehicle.

It's a black vehicle, or so I think since its in the dark, and I can't see anything inside.

"Um. Hello?"

I open the back car door and its empty. Simply empty.

"Jonathan??"

I squeal as I suddenly feel a pair of arms lifting me and placing me in the seats, while the figure closes the door behind him.

This is happening.

"You scared me for a bit there."

I take a deep breath, but its taken right out of me, feeling a pair of lips against mine immediately.

Slowly, he lays on me the seats and buries himself between my thighs, while I wrap my arms around his neck.

Okay. This is happening. This man might be straight but its happening and ill finally be able to get this over with. 

Finally get him out.

"You're so beautiful."

I giggle as he presses a kiss to my neck because what?

"You can't even see me!"

He nibbles at my earlobe before heading back down over my lips and giving me another open mouthed kiss.

"I don't have to see you to know you're beautiful."

****  
With a hand wrapped around the base of him, I place the tip inside my mouth.

I want to get this over with.

He plays with my hair as I suck and I wonder if this is just a thing everyone does to the person who's sucking?

"So good. Fuken amazing mouth. So good."

I'm glad he isn't bigger than Harry because if he was, I wouldn't be able to do this. Harry is already hard to take down and I always have to try extra hard but they're about the same so I don't have to stress myself.

Stop. Thinking.

I take him down more and feel the tough sensation at the back of my throat when I realize, I did it too fast. I come up, coughing and he caresses my cheek before pulling me onto his lap, off the car floor.

"I'm sor-"

"That was perfect."

He smashes his lips against mine, and I feel his hands slowly travel their way down into my pants. He pulls them down enough to cup my bum and unexpectedly, gets a hold of the top of my panties and pulls, until I feel the small sting of the fabric snapping on my skin.

"Ahh."

"I knew you liked lace you naughty boy."

He curls his finger on the waistband again and I nod against his forehead, because It does feel good. It feels so soft.

"They're so perfect for you. You are daddy's princess aren't you?"

"Mm...yeah."

"Does princess want Daddy's big cockk?"

"Yes. Please yes."

Is the talk all the same. I just want to get this over with.

I feel as he leans over and hear foil ripping apart. Good.

Unexpectedly, I feel his fingers teasing my entrance through my under garments and the gel liquid beginnings to stain them.

"Not sure. Should I take you with them on or off."

"However. However. Just...please."

"Course it's however I want. Princess wouldn't want daddy to be upset."

"Never."

"Such a lovely little pink hole. Just aching for me."

I try to get him out of his clothes, but he hesitates. Maybe he still isn't comfortable with the whole straight thing. He strips me from my clothes however, and I feel a little relief as he lays me back down on the seats and positions himself at my entrance.

Finally.

Need to get this over with.

He presses his forehead against me and moves aside my panties enough for him to stick the tip in.

It's been so long. It's been so long.

He begins to press in and I need something to hold onto. Luckily, he feels the same need to hold my hand as I do, smashing our lips together and I try to adjust to him.

He's so big. He's so so big.

I can feel his hips against me, and he gives me a moment to take a breath. He kisses all over my neck and I groan, feeling so full. So good.

"So perfect. So perfect Lou."

My head is spinning, and I'm hearing voices that aren't supposed to be here. Whatever we were drinking, has definitely been the most strongest drink I've ever had in my past month of drinking.

"Move."

I begin in attempts to end it.

My breath hitches as he begins to thrust in, making me rock higher and higher in the car seat while holds onto the seats and goes deeper and deeper. He still has one hand entwined with mine and that's enough.

It's so good.

"Ah ah ah ah. Yes. Oh. Oh. Yeah."

"Yeah? Like that baby. You feel so good. Always so good. Oh yeah."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Oh mother of oh yeah."

The shadow of his arm which was holding onto the car seat disappears, and I feel it against my cheek, as he pulls me in for another kiss.

He tastes like strawberries and oh, I want more of this. 

His whole body comes clashing down on mine and in one swift movement, he's pulling me on top of him as he lays down on the opposite side of the car seats.

"Ride daddy like he showed you baby."

I can see a little bit as Jonathan lays back on his hands and I hold onto his jacket as i do what he says, bounce on him repeatedly trying to reach what needs to be reached soon before I fall under whatever spell he's put me in.

"Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh"

"So beautiful. So naughty. Oh yes"

"Ah ah yeah ah. Just. For. You."

"Just for me. Always me. Just me."

"Ah ah ah Ah oh ."

"Take me so well Lou. Fuc-"

My knees are beginning to shake and I guess he feels it before I do, sitting up and wrapping his hands around my back. He thrusts up into me and I rest my head on his chest as I take him.

"Gonna fill you up so good Lou."

"Yeah daddy?"

"Yes baby. Always want you full."

I sneak one of my arms away from where they are being crushed between my chest and his and reach up to cup his cheek.

He seems to understand what I want, smashing his lips to mines as he speeds up and I loose myself.

"oh! Oh! Oh! Oh oh. Yes.!"

"Fucken shit I fucken...lou. I oh yes baby!"

We whimper against each others mouths and I use the little energy me and slam myself down at the same time he thrusts up and I see stars.

Both our bodies shake as I release myself into his jacket and he does so inside me.

"Oh baby. My baby."

Jonathan lifts me off of him and lays me on the car seat next to him. I can hear him zipping up his jeans and wow. 

I finally did it.

"I-I got to go.

I stand up and watch as he steps out the car and shuts the door closed, leaving me in the nude alone and wow.

What a.....

It is what it is.

I wonder if he realizes I still have his keys and he will have to face me at least one more time. 

Bum hole.

I pick up my clothing and slip on my shirt first. I am pulling on my pants when I feel myself dripping and...

Oh fuck.

I reach into my panties and press a finger in my bum hole and oh no.

No no no no no.

I scramble to find my phone in my jeans and put on the flashlight, scanning onto the floor where I can see the foil packet ripped, but the rubber next to it, left unused.

 

I feel all the hairs in my body rise because,

I'm different. 

"N-No."

I can feel the tears rise in my eyes as I flash myself and I can see my panties all soaked now.

"N-No no please."

I slip into my jeans and put on my shoes and leave the keys in his car. The second i step out the car, I can see him from far away.

"Jonathan!!"

I scream and don't know what for. He turns, looks at me for a second, before looking back at someone else.

 A blonde girl appears and he  wraps a arm around her waist. 

He flashes a smirk at me before shaking his head and gets into another car that isn't his, along with the woman, and drives off.

I want to die.

**********  
"Edward. I can't take this."

"William, give him some time. Whatever happened that night, it must have been bad. You need to give him his space."

"Edward, we went to go pick up his daughter FOR HIM because he wouldn't come out his room. That's not needing space Edward. That's needing help!"

"William"

"Edward. It's been a fucking week!"

"WELL ALRIGHT THEN, YOU GO IN. BREAK THE DOOR GO AHEAD BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE DAMN KEYS TO THE ROOM AND oh look it opens."

William pulls at his hair because why did he get stuck with such an idiot of a brother, he wonders.

He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door slightly, peeking his head in.

He sees nothing.

"Lou?"

He opens the door more wide and stands in the middle, confused, seeing the room empty.

"You don't think he would leave us with the kids right?"

Edward comments as he chuckles, trying to lighten up the mood, but really, he is all fear.

"Where the hell did he go."

William scratches his head and heads out, with Edward on his heel. 

"Maybe he's in Ethan and Athena's room."

William nods and quietly opens the door, but he sees the same thing again.

Emptiness.

 

"Do you think he's in the living room with them?"

"No I just came from there. And besides, if he was there, there would be shouting. Lots of shouting."

"You're right. What the hell Edward, what if he's been missing for days and we didn't notice."

"no don't say that. Louis just wouldn't leave."

William and Edward shout at each other all the way to the kitchen, where they freeze seeing the boy in the hallway.

He's holding a plastic bag in his hand and William feels relief, although Edward, not so much.

"Where the hell are you coming from Louis!? What's wrong with you!"

"j-just went to the store."

"Why the hell haven't you came out from the room?!"

"Have you eaten!?"

"Did you know the hospital called all you weekend because there was a certain someone waiting for you to pick her up!?"

"Do you know your daughter is here louis!?"

"What the hell is wrong with you!"

"G-guys please.....please just."

"What do you have in the bag!?"

"Louis are those drugsx!?"

"N-No"

"Give me the bag."

"Edward no!"

William steps aside as Edward literally goes up in flames and snatches the bag away from Louis, despite Louis begging to stop.

Louis heart stops when he sees a certain curly haired guy with green eyes appear behind his brother, holding his daughter in his arms and stares eye widened across the kitchen counter, where now all the pregnancy boxes lay scattered next to the ripped bag.


	57. Chapter 57

Literally so mad rn. Sorry it's taking so long for this to end. The last 3 days were supposed to be filled with 3 updates each day but now im gonna have to cut It short. sorry.

And for the people asking for this book to have at least one more book, I dont think that will be possible by the way things are kinda going to end....

Don't over think.

\-------

Blue Green Blue Blue.

Blue Blue Green Blue.

Edward, William, Harry, and Ethan stare at me from across the room and I'm not willing to take this anymore. Ethan should be watching cartoons. William should be at work. Edward should be watching over Ethan and Harry should not even be here to begin with.

"I-I can explain-" William starts as he points towards Harry, but I shake my head, not wanting to here none of it.

I grab the broken bag and place all the tests inside, snatching one from Harry's hand as he picks it up, curious.

I look up into his eyes, and feel the urge to slap him, for thinking he can come back whenever he feels like it. It's not okay. I don't though, because that's the mature thing to do.

"L-Louis w-"

"Stay out of it. This is none of your fucking business."

I snap and turn around, grabbing the car keys where I finished hanging them a couple minutes ago.

"We need to talk. Please listen to m-"

"No."

I turn around and shake my head, heading out despite my brothers and sons calls. 

No.

I slam the door closed to to the house and feel the taste of my morning pancakes come up while I do so, letting the bag drop from my hands as I lean over to the grass and let them out.

I try to keep in my sobs as I wipe my mouth and are unfortunate to hear the door open once more. when I glance back, I see Harry without Athena in her arms now, looking over to the puddle of remains and looking back into my eyes.

"Oh Lou...."

I shake my head and grab a hold of the bag again, walking out with it although I probably don't need it anymore.

"Louis wait!"

I do as im told and turnaround, gripping the edge of my pants as I do so while clutching the bag in the other. Don't hit him.

"No, You wait Harry."

He stops in his tracks, a few feet away from me, and he frowns down at me with sad green eyes. Sad green eyes he deserves.

"Louis, pl-"

"I don't know what you're doing here nor give a fuck. All I know is by the time I come back, I want you out of this house Harry. Out of the damn house and out of my life."

I clutch my bag to my chest and turn around again, walking away from the only person who brings me more pain than love.

He doesn't stop me as I climb onto my car, and it's probably because, he knows it too.

*****

Im sitting on the edge of a toilet seat behind a nearby gas station and I can see my life slowly going down that drain.

I hold the five sticks up and cry when they all read everything I didn't want to see.

( Positive )

(+)

( || )

( || )

(+) 

"Fuck Me."

I throw them in the trash and rest my head on my hands, where I have no idea, what to do now. 

Another Baby.

I can't handle another baby.

A baby that isn't his.

A baby in general.

I can't raise three kids all by myself.

I get off the toilet and look in the mirror, where I look like total shit. My eyes are red, cheeks glossing with tears and I still have the dried up blood on my lip where Jonathan bit me a little too hard.

What a Idiot.

"You're such an idiot Louis!"

I don't know what I'm doing before I see the glass shattered in front of me and my hand feels like its pumping all over. I look at my knuckles and see the bleeding and wow, okay.

I guess I did deserve that.

I look down at the sink and pick up a small piece of glass, covered with specks of blood. 

Looking down at my wrist, I see my previous scar from years ago, where I was in the same situation although this Time, the only one I discovered being pregnant, was me.

I can just end it here.

It would be so easy to.

I glide the glass over my skin slightly and can just feel how tempting it is to just inflict the wound, so easy to just end all the pain at once and no one would be here to stop me, no Harry barging through the door or paramedics waiting to save me outside.

All that would happen was that someone would complain the restroom was occupied for a long time and by the time they realized something was wrong, I would be long gone.

Long gone and away from him.

I loosen my grip on the glass however, because now I have a daughter and son waiting for me at home and he's not worth my death anymore.

To have this kid or to not have this kid, is the question.

I have to think about it thoroughly and not let my emotions trick me now, because this will be a huge decision that can change many things.

I grab a piece of toilet paper and wrap it over my hand gently, cursing ever time I touch my hand a little too harshly.

I deserve this.

Calmly, I walk out the small public restroom and make my way into the convenience store, acting as if I didn't just destroyed their property and got away with it.

I stand in front of the women's section and see something I should have realized earlier. There's an abortion pill but it only works up till two days after the inter course.

You're such an idiot Louis.

I move away and head on over to the first aid section, getting a box of bandaids and some antibiotics. A bloody hand is not something I want to go to the hospital for.

I grab a bag of chips as I head over to the cashier box, and most likely, feel my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach.

"5.79 is your total oh."

There's a million of emotions running through me as I look up and see what seems, an illusion in front of me.

"Oh god, what happened to your hand?"

I feel so much anger boil in my veins as I look up into his brown eyes, the taller guy now dressed in a red polo and his curls are pulled back by a baseball cap.

"Louis, answer me! Shane, cover my shift real quick."

I watch as the guy walks around the counter and takes a hold of my hand, leading me into some sort of backroom.

He sits me down and squats in front of me, and I can't help ignoring the way my hand stings already, slapping him across the face for deceiving me.

He pulls back, alarmed, and I feel a little bad afterwards. Just for a second."

"Ow. You do hit hard."

"H-How could you."

"How could I what? Look, just wait here. I'm getting our first aid kit."

He stands up and holds his hand up, leaving the room.

*****

"Here, drink this while I fix up your hand. You dont look so good."

Jonathan comes in five minutes later with a opened water bottle and white case, with a red cross in the middle 

"Would you like any pain pills?"

"No."

He squats down again and takes my hand in his, removing the stained toilet paper and placing it in a trash bag.

I hiss as he works his amateur doctor magic, placing a whole bunch of medicine on my knuckles and wrapping it around with a gauze.

It does feel a little better when he's done, but not enough to be forgiven.

He tricked me.

"Louis. Stay?"

"What?"

"My shift isn't over until a couple of more hours but I'd really like you to stay so we can talk."

"What makes you think I don't have better things to do?"

"Do you?"

I ponder at the thought, and probably not. i just need Harry to leave before I go home but if I go home too soon, he'll use that as an excuse to talk.

"Stay."

********

I can see the sun going down through the Window when I see Jonathan come back in again, eyeing me from afar as he puts on his black hoodie and cleans up the medical kit where he had made a mess.

My phone battery is at 3% now, and I blame that to all the bloody levels of candy crush I've passed in the last few hours, bored.

"Did you come walking or in a car."

"Car."

"Do you want me to drive you home in it or would you rather come back tomorrow for yours and I drive you in mines?"

"Neither. I thought you said we would be talking."

"We will. Let me take you home in your car then. I'll walk back here and get my car later."

"What? No."

I stand up from my seat and he frowns at me, raising his hands.

"Calm down Louis. You cant drive around with that hand. It's okay, I really don't mind walking back here."

"How would you know, maybe I live far."

"Although im pretty sure you dont, I don't mind a good jog"

Jonathan lowers his hands and grabs a pair of car keys, walking towards the door 

"Well, come on now. It's gonna get dark soon."

I nod, and follow him out, not really seeing another choice. My hand burns and I really don't want to drive but at the same time, I don't want to leave my car at a gas station either.

Looking at him makes everything worse, because if I was a little more blind, I would think this was a Harry with brown pretty eyes.

I watch him walk to his car, the same grey sportscar he left The night at the club and pulls out a small black backpack.

"What is that for?"

"Well I can't come running back in my work shoes, can I? My running shoes and headband are inside."

"Oh ok."

We walk back to my vehicle and I give him the keys, walking over to the passengers side as he climbs into the drivers.

He turns on the motor and I sigh.

"Ok. So what is it I did?"

**********

"You lied."

He turns on the blinker as we're berly going to pull out the gas station, not a lot of cars tonight on the road.

"Lied about what?"

He gets onto the road and looks at me strangely, before I look away, to the road.

"Make a right turn and because I thought you had used a condom. When we were done, I saw the condom at the bottom of the floor and it was unused!"

"You're mad at me because there was no condom involved?"

I glare back at him and when I look at the road, he's made a wrong turn.

"No, ugh. Go back. and that's gonna be a left turn."

"Oh. Okay. Sorry."

"And yes. Remember what I said about myself. That im....weird."

"I don't think you're weird, Louis."

I look back at him and he does so too, and I can feel the tension in the air rise.

"No ugh.... I said left turn, nor straightforward."

"Sorry, Sorry. You're just a little distracting."

"Well dont let me distract you. Go back and it will be a left turn. Now, as I was saying...."

I take a deep breath and look at the road, noticing now, Jonathan makes the right turn and we're back on track.

I grab my water bottle and take another sip because, I've never felt so uncomfortable before, telling another person besides my family or doctor what other qualities I possess.

"Im not like other boys Jonathan....I can get, pregnant."

I look back to Jonathan for any reaction and I'm surprised to see none. He looks straight at the road and back at me, blinking before opening his mouth and saying the complete opposite of what I expected. There is no insults or anything.

"Okay, so you can get pregnant. That's fine that doesn't make you necessarily weird because other people do so to. Don't feel bad about it."

I gape at him and he looks sincere, and From what world does this human come from.

"But im a boy."

"Consider it a miracle then."

Jonathan smiles at me and what the hell.

"Okay, I dont even kno.....that's not the point! Jonathan, we didn't use a condom. Do you get what im trying to tell you?!"

Jonathan makes a right turn and surprisingly, it's correct. He turns to me and it takes a while for him to react, myself seeing as he gasps and his eyes widen.

"Oh my, you're pregnant."

He turns and eyes at my stomach before looking up and smiling.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, wipe that grin off your face! This is nothing to smile about."

"Oh....wait. Im sorry, you didn't want to be..?"

I shake my head and pull at my hair because is this man just seriously, an idiot. I drink some more water just so my mom could be occupied enough so I dont shout at him what a big dumbarse he is.

My head is beginning to hurt and Jonathan makes a wrong turn.

"Jonathan. That was supposed to be a right turn. You went left."

"Short cuts. Now, you Don't want a baby?"

"What does it matter if I want it or not? I have it."

"You do? How do you know?"

"Tests....all....positive. Reasons for bloody....hand."

"Oh my, congratulations Louis."

"You don't understand!! You're a stranger!"

"Oh..."

I look at Jonathan again and he smiles. He would look way prettier if he had a dimple when he smiled like Harry does.

I look back to the road, and we're approaching a yellow light. When I look where we are at, I see ourselves back at the park we were at about five minutes ago.

"Jonathan, I think we made a circle. Make a right turn right now."

"Ay Ay Captain Tomlinson."

I look down about to take another sip of my water when I see through the hole, a small speck of white at the bottom.

I stare, the ripples of the water making it hard to tell what Im looking at, until its all clear.

There's a pill.

When I look back at Jonathan, he has his hood on, and I can see his smirk under the red light shine.

I feel my heart stop.

I put the water back on the cup holder and make my hand travel down my seatbelt, unbuckling it.

"Im so sorry Louis."

He grabs the handle and puts the vehicle in park, while I use the opportunity to open the car door and rush out, running across the road, thankful everyone is halted.

"Louis!!!"

I look back and the light is now green, myself seeing as Jonathan makes a left turn and stations the vehicle in the parks parking Lot.

No.

I run further into the park and curse the darkness has now took over, the trees making It harder for the moonlight to shine through.

My head is spinning and I slow down as I see the trees begin to move. There's double now, and I sob when I glance back and see a dark figure walking towards me.

"Leave me alone!!!"

I scream and continue to flee.

The cards don't work in my favor.

I don't see the tree log in front of me and fall, looking up at a small hole in the tree branches were the stars shine.

If it's not the broken glass, it's this.

The figure leans down above me and I can faintly see Jonathan's brown eyes.

"P-Please. I have two kids."

"Then why aren't you at home with them, Louis. Why?"

Jonathan's right though.

I should have been at home all along with my kids. Those nights were not worth it because nothing makes me happier than being by Athena, watching as she opens her eyes and sees the world as something magnificent. Or next to Ethan, when he turns every bad situation into a better one, my baby boy such a precious gift to my life.

"Good night Louis."

I see the white towel and feel the way it's pressed to my mouth and nose. I try to fight him, but my body gives up, my head to gone in space to do anything but regret.


	58. Chapter 58

When I wake, the first thing I do as I look out the window is scream. 

"Thomas, get a hold of him!!!"

"Im on it you twat!!"

Jonathan grabs me again and I kick him away.

who the hell is Thomas?

He looks down at me as I fall onto the floor and he takes the towel out again.

No No No

"Let me go please!! I have kids!!"

"Louis, just calm down."

"Where are you taking me?! Please!"

"This will be over soon."

"Thomas. Do I need to come take care of this myself."

"Well I would mind some help. Never told me how much of a warrior he was."

"Let me go!!!"

Jonathan picks me up and puts me in the seat again, while I look out the window and scream again. This is no where near home. No where near my kids.

"My kids! Please, this is far. Where are you taking me?! I don't belong here!"

"Of course you do, this is your home."

"Im not from bloody France, do you hear me talking french?!"

I can see the Eiffel tower a few miles away and oh, what have I gotten myself into this time. I'm halfway across the world with a stranger I met a week ago, who's kidnapped me.

"This is just a pit stop for gas, then were off. Now, come here. It's time for you to nap again."

"Please, just let me go!"

"Sorry."

Jonathan holds me down in the seat again and I scream, filling my vision go blurry as he holds the white towel against my mouth.

"Im sorry."

 

***********

My head hurts as I sit up straight from the bed I was laying in, looking around the strange yellow room, that seems it has been unoccupied for a while.

There's a huge bear in the corner, and from the looks of it, this appeared to be a nursery room, a small crib next to the mattress and a rocking chair at the end of the room.

There's a bottle of water next to stand and I decide against it, remembering what it led to last time.

Where the Hell Am I.

I slowly get off the bed and look around the room, looking for any clues who this belongs to and where I'm currently in.

I try turning on the light switch, but the electricity doesn't work. Or at least not in this room.

I look back down at the bed and get a huge headache from it, seeing myself tangled in the sheets with Harry.

I look away and hurry out of the room, because this might be the only chance to get away.

I've been kidnapped.

I run across the hall and shiver when I see a skull hanging on one of the doors. When I peek in it, all I can see is a huge butterfly on the wall and myself being pressed against it, with Harry holding me up. My head spins and I slam the door shut, trying the next one.

It's a restroom and I rub at my eyes when I see in the mirrors reflection, although nothing is here, is me sucking on Harry's neck when I was younger. I can see him laughing at me before attacking my already marked neck and I let myself.

What's happening.

I shut the door and head towards the stairs, running down them.

There's another door on my right.

And all I can see is myself is clawing at the door while Harry holds me up, sucking my, oh....

My head spins again and I run the opposite way.

This is torture.

The next room is a living room, and I can see myself sharing a kiss on the couch with Harry. 

What is this?

I want it to stop.

In the dining room, Harry plays footsies with me and steals a kiss from me, while he feeds me spaghetti.

I want this to stop.

I walk backwards and crash into something, bouncing off and falling to the floor.

I want this to stop.

When I look up, all I can see is brown eyes.

He looks down at me and I break down, feeling so lost and overwhelmed. 

"Louis, are you alright?"

I pull on my hair and there's more images flashing in my head even though I'm not in the rooms any more. I can see myself in the shower, I can see myself in the backyard, I can see myself in the closet, everywhere.

"Lou? Baby, what's wrong?"

Another voice, much deeper, rings in my ear.

When I look up, I feel my heart racing as there's two curly haired guys hovering above me, although one has green eyes.

"Brother, maybe bringing your boyfriend here wasn't the best idea." Jonathan speaks as he pats Harry's back.

Well, fuck me.

************

"Lou, I'm sorry. I just had to bring you back. Away from it all."

Harry places a hand on my knee and I move it away, sipping on my tea as I settle back on the couch.

"Had to get you away from the kids and your brothers and the drinking and everything. It was just causing a big problem."

"You are the problem Harry."

"I think I'm gonna leave you two to talk."

Jonathan, who apparently is actually Thomas, speaks and I nod, watching as Harry's brother walks out the room. 

There's a silence in the room and it stays that way, until we can hear the door shutting and I throw Harry the cup of tea at his face.

"Ow Louis!!"

"Louis my fucking ass!!"

I grab the pillow near me and begin to smack him, ignoring his attempts to take his stained shirt off.

"You."

smack.

"lying."

smack.

"piece."

smack.

"of."

smack.

"shit!!"

"Baby's extra feisty today."

"Baby ain't feisty, baby's pissed the hell off!"

"Harry Likey."

"This isn't funny Harry!!"

Harry scrambles off the couch and runs out the living room, but im not done yet. I run towards the kitchen and find on the counter a bag of groceries. 

I grab the box of eggs and run upstairs, slamming the door wide open and seeing Harry with widened eyes at the edge of my bed.

"Now Now Louis, let's not get carried away there."

"Fuck You Harry!"

I open the box and throw egg by egg, hitting every time as he tries to shield himself but fails.

"Louis, this is disgusting!"

"You're disgusting! I hate you!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes!"

I throw the box and run towards the bed, seeing Harry run out the room while I grab the pillows and a pair of scissors.

I cut them all open and step out the room, heading towards his room.

"Louis, baby, come on."

"don't you baby me!"

"baby."

Harry grins as he lays on the bed and shrieks when I begin hitting him again, feathers flying everywhere as three pillows end up destroyed.

No Regrets.

"I hate you I hate you I hate you!"

I smack him with the last pillow and fall on the bed, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

He lays down next to me and I press a palm to my chest, which is rising up and down, quickly. His is the same, although now covered in yolk and feathers.

We stare into each others eyes as we try to calm our heavy breathing together and before I know it, I'm laughing.

He looks ridiculous.

"What?"

"You look like a big cock."

I whisper and I see his eyebrows furrow. I clutch my chest as I giggle because I used the term correctly, because a cock is a chicken and at the same time, a dick, which Harry definitely is.

It fits.

"Im pretty sure I have my pants on."

"Im not talking about down south."

"Then I think its time we do, don't you?"

Harry rolls onto me and I gasp, feeling the way his weight threatens to crush me. I push him away though and spit,

"Ew Harry, I think i just swallowed a feather."

"That's not the only thing you swallow."

"Harry!"

I get off the bed and stare down at him, shaking my head because this shouldn't be happening.

This can't be.

"No Harry."

"Stop fighting it Louis."

"I-I can't. You hurt me."

I cross my arms over my chest and pull away when he tries to wrap his arms around me.

"Im Sorry."

"That's not enough, Harry. You left. You Left us."

The mood suddenly changes in the room and I am no longer amused by the way Harry is engulfed with feathers all over his body. This is serious. He Left us.

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I removed myself from you and our kids, you would be happier. You didn't seem happy with me anymore, Louis. What else was there that I could do?"

"Not leave, that's for sure."

Harry takes a step back and I watch him slowly sit back down on the bed, running his fingers through his hair before shoving his face in his hands.

I stare at him as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth and bites, before unexpectedly, seeing tears roll down his cheeks.

He wipes the away quickly and looks away, shaking his head.

"I just wanted for you to be happy, Louis."

"Well you made sure I wasn't when you left."

"I wasn't trying to do that Louis!"

Harry stands up from the bed and I feel my breath caught in my throat as he corners me against the wall and shakes his head against mine.

"I miss my son, Louis. I miss my daughter, Louis. But I'm willing to give it up, just to see you smile again. Because what I miss most of all, is my happy Louis."

Harry takes a hold of my cheek and I feel a tear escape my eye.

"I miss that Louis that just beat the shit out of me with a pillow and had a laugh about it. You deserve nothing but the best, and I will never be worthy. I thought if I let you go, you'd realize you didn't need me to be happy but all I figured out, was that Im the one that needed you."

He takes a step back and sniffles and I wipe my eyes as he does so, trying to make sense of any thing really.

"Going out to bars wasn't what I expected from you, Louis. I didn't think you'd use my absence to hook up with guy after guy after guy. I-Is that what you wanted? Freedom?"

"N-No."

"Then what were you looking for Louis? I didn't understand. How you could kiss man after man and not feel a thing."

"I dont know! I was trying to get you out of my system. I needed to prove to myself that I was capable of letting you go."

"Did you?"

"Well ....I slept with your brother? S-Sorry."

"Oh baby."

Harry chuckles and wipes his nose, shaking his head.

"The only dick you rode that night, was mine princess."

Harry grabs a hold of my hand and I gape, feeling utterly stupid as Harry bursts out in laughter

The mood in the room changes again.

"Im sorry. It was a coincidence really. Me and my brother were out that night and when I came back from the restroom, you had taken my seat. Thomas texted me and well, you shouldn't have been wearing those panties in my defense. You were coming onto him a little too hard, and well, he is in fact straight. Im sorry."

Harry confesses and I run my fingers through my hair, groaning so loudly on the inside

You're such an idiot Louis.

"You do know what you did, right?"

I look up and he bites his lip, grinning with his huge dimple on display.

"Are we pregnant again?"

"Was this your plan all along?"

"No, but I couldn't help it. It' been so long since I was inside you and I couldn't bring myself to put it on."

"You do know were on bad terms right. You do know were not together."

"I know and Im sorry. I really am Louis."

"Just because Im pregnant, doesn't mean we're back together."

"So we are pregnant! Im gonna be a father times three!"

"Harry, what is wrong with you!"

Harry's on his knees, clutching at my non existent stomach and sighs against it, rubbing his cheek all over me.

"Louis, please forgive me. Let me father all your babies and I swear I will never hurt you again. I'm sorry, give me another chance, please just give me another chance. I wont leave you anymore and I won't keep secrets and if you'll let me, I'll try to make you happy and our kids happy and please, I just need you in my life, you don't understand how much."

"Well you're on your knees hugging my lump of fat, I think I got an idea."

I look down at him and he frowns.

I shake my head and I just can't.

"You've done alot a shit Harry. You keep so many things, like, where the hell did your brother come from?!"

"We actually met at the gas station he works in. I mean, when I saw him, I thought I was looking at a mirror. We just, like, I knew he was my brother right there and then. Have you seen him Louis, he's an older version of me. With brown eyes."

"Yes, I've seen him Harry."

"Well yeah... I just, you know, talked to him and he you know, told me about his life. He actually doesn't know much about my mom either, said dad never actually told him what happened. He just gave him up to another family like he did to me, but you know....he's cool I guess."

"He's cool? Harry, he kidnapped me."

"Im sorry, that was my idea. He was actually all against it but I convinced him."

"You're mental, you know that."

"Just a little..."

"Just a little?"

"Well....maybe just a little more than just a little. If im being honest, I followed you everywhere you went. Im still a little upset with the whole mall incident though. Be glad it was me who caught Ethan than another actual stranger."

I stare down at Harry eye widened, and really.

"You're psychotic."

"I had to make sure you were doing okay somehow. Didn't hurt to look from a distance. Well it hurt just a little. Especially late at nights. You don't look good kissing any one but me Louis. I didn't like that."

"Well you pushed me towards it."

"And I'm truly sorry."

Harry takes my hand in his and I sigh, shaking my head.

"Wanna confess any thing else while your at it? Any other relatives you've came across while you were away or secrets?"

" I stuffed those panties in Ethans pants and told him not to tell you about it."

I gasp and Harry chuckles, while I swat his hand away.

"Harry Styles, how dare you promote theft to our child."

"Our child?"

Harry looks up at me smiling, and I sigh.

Do it for the kids.

Do it for the kids.

"This is your last chanc-"

Im cut short, Harry picking me up and slamming me gently, to the wall, where he connects his lips to mine and I loose my common sense.

"That's all I need. Never again."

"I swear it on my grave Harry."

I take a deep breath and fuck, is this the right thing?

"I promise, blue. Never Again"

He removes me from the wall and I wrap my legs around his torso as he spins me around the room and he laughs against my neck.

"I fucking love you to the moon."

"Yeah yeah, now put me down. You're sticky as hell."

"We've gotten way messier before."

"Yeah, but you didn't stink this bad."

I look down into Harry's eyes and he rolls them at me, before taking me out the bedroom.

We head towards the shower and I sit quietly when he sets me down on the sink counter. He turns the water on to the shower and I watch as he strips naked, my big chicken boy stepping into the shower, although he doesn't shut the blinds closed.

I stare at him, up and down, and watch as he wipes it all off, the yolk and the feathers, just leaving my man and his skin.

I notice there's something new however, his previous blank right arm, now with two new sets of tattoos. There's two pairs of small footprints beginning at his wrist, the first one with Ethans name written across and the second, although a little smaller, with Athenas name across.

"You got new tattoos."

He nods and smiles, myself a little confused when he turns around and obscures them from me. I gasp when he reveals his back, and my last name written across his back, with an angel wing on each side.

"Although you don't have wings Louis, I still know they're there."

He turns around and steps out the shower, water dripping from his body on me as he smashes his lips to mine one more time.

"My beautiful Angel. I love you endlessly."

I don't know why I fell so hard for this fool, but I don't question it, letting him strip me from my clothes and giving him everything that's always been his in the shower.


	59. Chapter 59

I would say surprise update, but really, it surprised me too. I nagged my mom so much about my lack of Wi-Fi, she decided to connect it today. yay.

and for the people wondering, I think there's two chaps left plus final chap plus epilogue. im sad.

and for the finale, if you'd like to see a little pic of something in particular related to the book, you can follow my insta -alwaysinmyheartharry where I have been posting characters and what not. 

lastly, when this book ends, Foul play along with Story B will be uploaded. now, enjoy.

And by the way,

"The last chapter was too, too happy for your type of writing Amy. What do you have up your sleeve?"

Well.....we'll find out at the end, wont we ? ;)

*******

| 6th Month |

"Ethan Nathaniel, how many times do I have to tell you to put your shoes on."

"Two."

"go. NOW."

This diaper bag does not have sufficient space for both Ethan and Athena's belongings. I will have to get a bigger one later.

I watch as my son runs out the room and I'm left with Harry and our baby girl. He's barefoot too, but I can't bring myself to interrupt his father and daughter bonding time.

No, I actually can.

"Harry, can you stop doing whatever it is you think you are doing and go put her in her car seat. we're gonna be late."

"Im breastfeeding Lou, hold on a sec."

I sigh as I look at him and he grins at me with his goofy face. What a fool.

"Harry, for the fourth time, that's not breastfeeding. Now take that milk carton off your chest and stop wasting the tape... And Ethans colorful straws. He's gonna get angry."

"He wont mind. This one is pink anyway."

"Those are his favourite. Now go baby, please. We were late last time."

I zip the bag sealed, and I feel a presence behind me, looking up where I'm met with a face full of curls and Harry's lip pressed to mine. I kiss back and he nods against my forehead, myself thanking him and taking Athena off his arms.

I sip some milk while im at, ignoring the way Harry looks appalled when i pull away.

"That was for Athena, missy."

"missy my butt, she has her bottle."

"and you have jealousy issues."

"Never in a million years, Styles."

Harry heads toward the closet and I walk out our room, where my baby boy is ready to go.

*******

The Drive to The hospitals are the same. Harry has the 23rd version of kids bop on although im pretty sure Ethan isn't even into this type of bloody noise people call music.

It's death to my ears.

I check once in a while the rear view mirror, and fond at the way Ethan is leaning over and making funny faces at Athena. I can see she has her hand wrapped around his finger and my boy threatens to lick it, earning noises from her while he giggles.

I look over and find Harry staring at me.

We're at a red light.

I smile back and sink back into my seat more comfortably, humming when he brings our entwined hands up and presses kisses to my knuckles, before resting them back over the middle car compartment and driving again.

I don't mention it, but I remember he's done this before. It warms my heart because I can see his young version of him doing so, piercings in eyebrows, shaved jawline, with his tattooless body.

If he loved me back then, then im glad he still does so now.

********

"Any unusual symptoms Mr.Tomlinson? Feeling any pains?"

"Back and Feet. The Usual."

"That's understandable. You are quite Huge."

"I know. I've read somewhere in the internet that usually means a girl. Athena was pretty big too. Though she hurt a little less."

The doctor rubs the blue gel over my body and I glance over to Harry, who has Ethan in his lap and Athena in her car crib next to him on the floor. Ethan is looking dead at the ultrasound screen and so is Harry. 

They look so alike, my heart hurts.

"So I'm guessing you're aiming for a she aren't you Mr.Tomlinson?"

"A he is good too."

Harry speaks up and I nod, humming a little when I feel the device press onto my stomach.

I glance at him and blow him a kiss, feeling a little weird when he is smiling at the screen,

until his jaw drops.

"Well, seems this has work out in your favor."

"Is that....."

Harry gets up from his seat and Ethan whines, while I slowly turn and look at the screen myself.

"Oh my god, Lou."

Holy Fuck.

"HARRY."

"LOUIS."

"OH MY GO-"

"Congratulations Mr.Styles and Mr.Tomlinson. It seems you will be having twins, a girl and a boy."

"LOUIS OH MY,"

"HARRY WHAT THE FUCK."

Twins.

Fucking twins.

FUCKING TWINS WHAT THE FUCK. 

"Louis, this is grea-"

I grab the pillow behind my back and smack him the best I can before throwing it at him. 

TWINS.

"Ow, Lou."

"I-I'll give you two some time alone."

The doctor steps out the room, and Harry shuts the door, before frowning at me.

"Lou, what's the matter with you?"

"What do you mean, what's the matter with me. That's the two kids Harry! Two plus two, Four."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, we're gonna have four kids and we just....we can't."

"Louis, what's the matter with you. Snap out of it."

Four Kids.

I turned 19 and I am already on my fourth child. Harry just turned 22 and we're so young. Who's gonna pay for their college tuition, what if I fail to pay attention to them all? What if I fail as a father, can I handle this, will Ethan be okay he'll have more siblings, what if Athena doesn't get the treatment she deserves, what if the pregnancy goes terribly, terribly wrong, what if 

"Louis, baby, come back to me."

"I-I need to work."

"What?"

"I need to work Harry. I want my kids to stay in school, I-I need to get a job. I need to-"

"Do nothing."

Harry cups my cheek and I pull away, rubbing my eyes.

Four Kids.

"I told you I would handle the finances. I need you to stay home and raise them right baby. Just like you've done to Ethan."

"It's not fair, Harry. I dont want you overworking too. I want you to be able to spend time with them. Harry, this is too much."

Harry entwines her hands and I break down, watching as Ethan frowns in the corner.

This is what I mean.

I can hear Athena crying now, and no, this is all wrong.

"Come here baby, daddy needs to talk to you. Harry, give Athena her bottle."

"Louis, please calm down. We'll get through this."

"Haz, can you place Ethan next to me. Come here baby."

Ethan slowly walks over and Harry grabs him by the armpits, lighting him before heading over towards Athena.

He looks at my stomach and I pull the hospital gown back down, ignoring the slimy feeling of the jelly.

"I no understand daddy. how can it be a girl and a boy all in one baby? does it mean one Side of head is short hair and other pony tail?"

I chuckle and ruffle Ethans curls, shaking my head before giving him a kiss.

"There's two babies, baby. A-Are you okay with that?"

"TWO?"

His eyes widened in surprise and I feel horrible inside. My boy is so young, and he deserves more attention than he gets.

"Im sorry baby."

"Why two? Daddy, you have problems eating babies. it's not okay. eating babies not okay but im okay. but all they all gonna stay in my room? I think my bed to small."

"Um...."

I look over to Harry and he shakes his head, cradling Athena in his arms.

"We're moving."

"We're moving?"

He nods his head and no, this is too much. 

"Harry, we can't. Every place here in L.A is too pricey, no matter how much you get pai-"

"No Louis, not here. Back home."

"What do you mean back home?"

"You didn't think my son was gonna learn here in the states, did you? He's full British , no offence to these Americans, but I don't want none of their shit in his brain. He will learn what we learned. We're going back."

Harry holds Athena's bottle while she feeds and I groan.

"And you decided this all by yourself? When were you planning on telling me? Harry, I cant fly."

"This was planned the day he was born. He might have been born here, but that's just in case we ever come back. Makes the whole migration process easier. As well as Athena. And the twins. After they're born in June, we'll head over there, a little late, but enough to where Ethan can start school."

"Harry, what are you even thinking. You're job-"

"I said stop worrying, Louis. I told you already leave it up to me. I already have an offer back in England, now will you stop seeing the negative in all of this an-"

"Harry, it's an offer, not guaranteed."

"What, so you really don't trust in my ability to model, is that what you are trying to say?"

"No im no-"

"Really? Cause im pretty sure that's what you meant."

"Harry, please. Just see where I'm coming from."

"All I see is you worrying about nothing. Everything...will be... FINE."

"Mr.Tomlinson, Mr.Styles, May I come in?"

The doctor knocks on the door and Harry greets him, taking the ultrasound shots off his hand while I try to calm myself down from thinking about the endless possibilities where this could go wrong.

Maybe this would be a good time to tell Harry the doctor had spoken to me the last time we were here, about my body becoming incredibly weak fast. It would have been helpful last time if he told me why, since apparently there's two human beings inside of me.

I don't say anything however, in secrecy, driving to the pharmacy and picking up my prescription of pills to help me my body keep doing the function I have been struggling to do so for the last two months:

Breathe.

*********

| 8th Month |

"Louis"

"I'll be out in.....a second."

"You sure you're okay baby?"

"M fine. finish loading the moving van?

"Yeah. Edward will fly back with the first load tonight and William tomorrow when the jet comes back."

"Good...Good."

I look into the mirror, and I want to throw up.

I feel as dead as I look.

My skin has marks all over and I'm glad I didn't end up getting that tattoo of Harry's name on my hip I was planning to get.

I've slept more than the recommended hours yet I still look tired because, it is what I am.

Im tired.

My feet are killing me and carrying and extra 15 pounds isn't benefiting me the slightest.

"Baby, you okay in there?"

"Im fine Harry, it'll be out in a second."

I pull my sweatshirt down, finishing rubbing all the lotion and step out the restroom, where Harry is smiling at me. I smile back, before turning around and sitting down in my wheelchair.

it's ridiculous.

"Where off to my queen?"

"The Living room.....please. wanna watch cartoons with Ethan and feed Athena."

"Okay love."

I dont even need to be in it, but Harry recommends it so I wont pass out for a day like last time I was on my feet for a whole day without rest.

I dont mind.

My feet ache.

Harry rolls me into the living room and brings me Athena.

She's awake just in time, and Harry hands me over her bottle while I lay her slightly above the twins and feed her. 7 months and she's looking really good, much like her daddy if you ask me.

"Daddy Daddy. Look. I want that."

"You want a car?"

"Yes daddy please."

"A hot wheels car, yes?"

"No daddy, those are toys. I want big car."

"Are you 17 yet?"

"No."

"Then alrighty then, hot wheels car it is."

"But daddy, I want a car."

"You have the one daddy bought you for your birthday, what's wrong with that one?"

"Athena puked all over it."

"I'll clean that up as soon as I can baby, I'm sorry."

"are we gonna take that too?"

"We should, yes."

"Okay. but with no puke."

"No puke."

Ethan settles himself on the couch and we watch these half mermaid, half kids called bubble puppies or something on the t.v., and Harry's a little right about how the American culture is a bit weird.

Harry comes out from the end of the hall and approaches me, giving me a kiss before saying farewell.

"Have a great day at work babe."

"You too baby, call me if you need anything?"

"You?"

"Even that. I'd be here in a heartbeat."

"Then come down here and give me another kiss."

Harry chuckles and I giggle as he presses a sweet, open mouthed kiss to my lips. 

Its all cute untik Ethan is groaning and the back and we're pulling away, glancing at Ethan who is smirking directly at the tv, like if he hasn't interrupted.

Harry ruffles his curls and kisses him goodbye too, my baby giggling because he is needy as I am too.

"How many more days to leave daddy?"

"about 15 baby. why?"

"I excited."

"do you not like it here?"

I turn towards Ethan and he nods his head.

"I do but other house is way better."

"How? wait, how have you seen it?"

"cause daddy show me pictures when he come back. its big. more big than here"

And oh no, Harry. Why.

"How unfair, daddy didn't show me. You should feel special."

"He no tell you because he said you had attack heart if he did."

"heart attack?"

"tis what I said daddy."

Athena pushes the bottle away and I begin to pat her back, getting her to burp, trying not to think of the big trouble Harry is going to be in when he gets home.

We agreed on something small.


	60. Chapter 60

"oh, just because you're under two feet, you're not gonna get it."

"What's wrong babe?"

Athena gurgles as I put her back in her crib, facing Harry and motioning to my shirt. He looks down and gags, before laughing and heading out the room.

"It stinks that bad?"

"It reeks."

"You're the one who won't stop giving her milk."

"Its called bonding!!!!"

Harry screams from the hallway and I take a whiff out of myself.

I really do stink.

"Bring me a shirt will ya!!!"

"M going Lou."

I try my best to avoid the big puke stain as I pull off my shirt, resting after completely removing it from my head. I lay down in Ethan's bed and its way more comfortable than I thought.

*****

"Louis."

"Louis."

"Honey baby, wake up."

I blink and Harry is really far away from me, looking down.

"What. W-What is it?"

"Baby you fell asleep on his bed."

"Oh."

I rub my eyes and am surprised to find Ethan looking down at me too.

Wait what.

"Ethan, did you grow or is it just m-"

"Daddy. Whatd you do."

Ethan waves his hands frantically in the air and I look back at Harry, who's now grinning mad.

"W-What did I do?"

"Don't know hun. You might wanna take a look around."

I do as I'm told, sitting up and realising I'm staring at nothing but knees.

"Oh Ethan....., im so sorry baby. You can sleep in my bed."

"If you no like my bed daddy, you no have to break it. I no break yours."

"Im sorry baby."

"How the hell did you not feel that, Lou."

Harry laughs and I swing at his knee, using his arms as leverage. He helps me stand and I look down at the poor piece of furniture.

Definitely not getting repaired any time soon.

"I-I don't know. Guess I was tired."

Raising my hands, Harry puts on me one of his t shirts while Ethan steps into his bed and shakes his head.

Oops.

"Cmon babe, let's go to bed."

"Athen-"

"I moved her crib already to our room. Son, get your pillow."

"Okay Daddy."

Harry grabs a hold of my back as we walk to our bedroom, Ethan behind us.

Harry lays pillows on the bed for my back and helps me lay down before climbing in himself with Ethan on The other side of the bed. 

There's a small night light by the right wall, where Athena is sound asleep. 

Harry takes care of tucking us all in, but I don't get to watch him do so, seeing black the second my head is comfortable on the pillow.

**********

Ethans shoes, socks, undies, and pants are all ready to go.

Im having trouble with his shirts though, seeing as he has millions. 

Im on the fourth suitcase of his, and am still folding shirts. Good thing they're not flying in public airline, because luggage cost would be shit.

I glance at him and watch as he shakes his hips whilw he plays Just Dance on the Wii. Maybe I should tell him he needs the controller to record the moves, but I think he's convinced the example figure on the screen is him.

Bright as a unicorn, that little one.

Harry's frowning at me from across the room while he feeds Athena, but I dont bring attention to it because im decided.

"Harold."

"What is it babe? Are you okay? Are you feeling well? should we go to the hos-"

"Harry, relax. Was just gonna tell you if you could go buy me some food. I'm a little hungry."

"Oh....oh sure honey. what does my princess desire."

"Um....can like ..... Frog Legs. I-I heard they taste like chicken."

Harry's eyes widened and Ethan stops playing his game, giggling like mad.

"W-What?"

"Your eating Daddys Family."

"Heeeeeey. I dont look like a frog Ethan, for the hundredth time."

"uhu daddy. you look like frog in my color book. you come from frog."

"Louis. Are you hearing this."

"I didn't hear a thing. Now.....can you please."

"No. Im gonna go get you some chicken because I dont want to get a ear full again like last time I gave into your crocodile skin cravings."

"who would even eat crocodiles harold?!"

"Who would eat frogs?"

"Told you he no want you to eat family."

"Nathaniel Styles."

"Oops."

Ethan runs to behind me as Harry puts Athena in her crib and tries to approach him. I point at the door instead, watching as he sighs and nods.

"Frog legs."

"Never in a million years."

"Dont you dare come back without them."

"Yeah yeah!"

He leaves and I look down back at Ethan who's clutching to my leg. He's still giggling and I can't help but feel complete knowing he is happy.

My wonderful little boy.

"Ethan."

I sit down on my bed and pat the empty space which isn't full of his scattered clothes, while he nods. He jumps on and smiles up at me, his blue eyes way more beautiful with the hint of green it receives every once in a while.

"What is it daddy?"

I run my fingers through his soft curly hair and smile down at him, before pressing a kiss to his cheek. He giggles again when I tickle him, until he is squealing with pleas.

What a beautiful melody.

"I love you."

I press another kiss to his cheek and he stops laughing, kneeling on the bed as he surprisingly hugs me, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"I love you too daddy."

He places another and another, and I repeat it once again.

"Always baby. You're such an amazing little boy. I love you so much."

"Then why are you crying daddy."

He wipes my cheek with his little hands and I laugh, shaking my head.

"Im not baby."

"You lie lot daddy."

"Do I?"

"Yes. like daddy say you hungry and you say no but you still ate my chips."

"oh baby, im sorry for that. they just looked really good."

"I know. thats why I pick from store."

"Ill buy you some before you leave tonight. you know what, let me call your father while he's at it. Athena needs formula too before you guys leave."

"okay. I go watch tv."

"you go do that baby, ill be in here packing the rest of your stuff if you need anything. be good."

***********

"Lou, we can just wait."

"No Harry, you have to go. You have to go take care of everything. I already looked up most of the schools around the area and Preschool application deadline is almost up. you need to go get us settled in, connect all the utilities, set up the rooms, get everything ready. If you stay here, you'll be wasting your time."

"But what will one more week hurt?"

"I told you. You need to go enroll Ethan in School. You have until Friday Harry. Please, we've discussed this already."

"But I can't miss the birth of my kids. I want to be here when they arrive."

"Harry."

I take a hold of his hand and press a kiss to his chest, which is the only thing right about now I can reach without straining a muscle.

"We'll just be away for a couple of days. As soon as they're born, they'll be on their way. Im due this Thursday Harry. Pretty sure after a couple of days, the kids will be ready to go."

"But Loui-"

"And if you don't fix up the house, where are they going to arrive. Is the room already set up for them?"

"No."

"Exactly, so go baby. Please."

There's beeping outside and William comes out from his bedroom, patting Harry a slightly on the back.

"My brothers waiting for you outside."

"Yeah, I know. William, you better not screw this up or I swear, I wont hesitate to fly back and kick your ass. whatever he wants, give it to him."

"We've been over this already Harry."

"Well I'm warning you again."

Harry walks towards our bedroom and I watch as Ethan comes out his room with a small Spiderman backpack on him. He has his coloring book in there as well as his legos and a couple of snacks. Just in case.

He runs towards me and I frown when I can feel him sobbing against my thigh, shaking his head.

"Come with us daddy."

"I can't baby. Got to have your brother and sister first."

"Can we just use the knife please daddy."

I chuckle and watch as Edward now comes in the door, and picks him up, although Ethans trying to get me to carry him, but I can't.

"It doesn't work that way baby, but I promise you'll see your baby brother and sister soon."

"I no wanna go daddy, please."

Harry comes out the room with Athena in her car seat  
and frowns at Ethan, who is getting louder by the minute.

"Baby please, calm down."

"I don't wanna! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!"

He shakes in Edwards hold and he puts him down, Harry giving Athena to him instead while he grabs a hold of Ethan.

I kiss my babygirl goodbye and frown as Harry raises his voice at my son, who's in his hold, wiggling.

"Kick me one more time and I'll give you something to cry about."

"I-I don't wanna go!!!! Daddy!!!"

"I told you, we'll see him at the end of the week."

"I dont wanna!!!"

Ethan wiggles again and I look away as I hear the smack sound in the room, Ethans sobs growing louder.

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP."

"Harry, cmon, we need to head out."

Edward comes towards me and kisses my cheek.

"goodluck baby bro, call us."

"Yeah."

Harry wraps his arm around my neck and smashes our lips together, despite Ethans little sniffles sounding a few centimeters away. 

"I-I wanna k-kiss daddy too."

I Giggle as Harry pulls away, and leans Him forward, letting Ethan kiss my cheek.

"I love you baby."

"l-love y-you daddy.

Harry pulls him away and presses our foreheads together, grabbing me by the back of my neck.

"Call me everyday and for every little thing that's missing. If you need me here, don't hesitate to ask, I will come."

"Yeah babe, I will."

"I love you baby."

"Me too. Always will."

Harry kisses me again and I pull away, hearing Edward honk again.

"Asshole. see you baby. call me."

"I will."

Harry walks out with Ethan and the last suitcase, William closing the door shut as they walk out.

"What the hell was that."

"Let me be."

"You should feel lucky I didn't tell Harry. He'd have your head. Now stop it and go take your medicine."

I let out a deep breathe and nod, William grabbing a hold of me as we walk into the kitchen.

\----------------------

[Harry's POV]

 

Moving in wasn't as hard as it was the first time, having Edward help me with the kids.

Louis and my room is ready, as well as Ethans, Athena, and the twins. I will fix the rest when he actually gets here, because there is some things I want to discuss on what to do with the extra rooms.

He's gonna be a little mad though, there is even extra rooms in the first place.

Ethans ready to start school in a couple of weeks and I even went to check out my new job.

its not what i expected, but it will do for now.

Not that i have much options anyway.

******

"When's daddy coming daddy?"

"I dont know baby, he should be coming any time soon."

"I miss him daddy."

"I miss him too."

I scan over Athenas crib and thank whatever lies up there, that my girl is such a great sleeper. Not ever a crier, a eater and a sleeper.

Ethan slips in next to me in our bed and I cover him with the sheets, only allowing him to stay with me because I think he's still a little to young to grow apart.

"Goodnight son."

"good night daddy."

*********

It's a 3 o clock in the morning when I hear the phone ringing. I answer it without even looking at the caller I'd, knowing time zones suck and Louis doing his daily check in and report.

"H-Hi Baby"

I yawn, lowering my voice so i wont wake Ethan.

" what's up?"

"Is this Mr.Styles? Harry Styles?"

I rub my eyes and check the caller I.D, realizing its actually the hospital.

"Yes, what's going o-"

"Sir, we did everything we could."


	61. Chapter 61

It feels as if your suffocating, although you have all the oxygen in the world.

You're drowning although the water is miles away.

You scream from the top of your lungs, but you're never herd.

Your cries go unnoticed, your tears vanish in the midst of air, and pain suddenly becomes a state of living that you can't get rid of, because its tainted everything that was once sane.

*

"H-Harry?"

I dont know how I even managed to get up, but I walk into the room Edward is staying in. Ethans cries probably woke him up, but he's still in the room on our bed.

"My god Harry, why are you shaking like that?!"

Edward turns the nightlight on dresser on and gasps.

"Harry."

He throws the cover off himself and gets off the bed, running towards me. He stands in front and I don't know what to say, what to do.

I just became a single father of two kids.

Only two.

"What happened Harry. what's wrong, talk to me?!"

Im speechless, and I feel his arms wrap around me while I scream into his chest.

"Harry."

Edwards pulls away and this is unfair.

I've lost my baby and my babies.

I've lost the love of my life for good, this time.

There is no hoping any more one day he will wake, no more hoping the medication will go through, no hoping for reconciliation.

Nothing involving him.

"I-Ive Lost My Boy." 

I pull on my hair and bite my tongue, trying to hold it in but im soaked. 

"I-I've lost my Louis."

Edward shakes his head and sits down on the bed, not saying much, as if he's not surprised.

"I've lost my Louis."

There will never be more nagging about the smallest things like the way I do the laundry, or the fact that I never organize my shoes by pairs or that I place different sauces in finished butter containers because recycling is good for the environment 

"Fuck."

I back away from Edward and feel as my tears cascade, not wanting to comply with what my body is telling me to do.

"Fuck. Ive lost him!"

He's gone. The younger angel who stumbled upon my bedroom door, is suddenly gone, and only left behind a broken heart and two kids. our kids.

"Ive lost him, fuck, I've lost him!!!!!!!!"

I turn around and smash my hand to the wall, before realizing this still isn't completely my house to destroy.

But who the fuck cares 

I run out the room and into mines, grabbing the suitcases from underneath the bed and throwing them on the mattress. I open them and ignore Ethans small little sobs as I began to pack again.

"Harry, stop."

I have to be with him.

We have to be together somehow.

I need to see him.

"Stop Harry."

I push past Edward and begin to throw only Athenas and Ethans belongings, diapers, nighties, bottles, whatever they need for a 12 hour flight back.

"Harry Stop!"

I grab a pair of blankies and watch in horror as Edward grabs the suitcases and throws everything out before dropping it to the ground.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

"You have to stay."

"Are you fucking crazy?! I don't have to do shit you say!!"

"He wanted this."

"Shut up and get out!"

"D-Daddy"

I drop the ground and begin to collect all their items and place them back on the bed.

Edward instead pushes me back and all the things scatter all over the floor, making the blood in my stream boil.

"What the fuck is your problem!!"

"D-Daddy. get up."

"Stop acting like a lunatic. You decided this!"

"Get the fuck out of my way Edward, im not asking you again."

I kneel on my way to picking up the suitcase and I fall back on my bum as he kicks it across the room, along with everything else from the kids.

"P-Please Daddy."

"Edward, what are you doing, just fuck off!!!"

"Y-You scaring me."

"No one is going anywhere now stop!",

"You stay here you idiot, you're acting like if you don't give a shit your brother is dead!"

I feel the air punched out of my lungs as I admit to it, which makes the truth ten times real.

"We have to stay here."

Edward tries to place a hand on my shoulder and I pull away.

"No. we have to go back."

I stand up straight and go towards the suitcase.

"Ucle Eddie!!!! Ucle Eddie!!"

I pick it up and begin again to place the kids items outside.

"There's nothing to go back to anymore."

Edward comes behind me and grabs a hold of the suitcase and I can't control it.

I swing and succeed, a thump heard across the room when my fist collides straight with his face.

He's wasting time and he had been warned.

The suitcases falls, and Edward wastes no time either, swinging back.

He climbs on top of me and we fall to the ground. I scream as he pulls on my hair and he huffs as I punch him in the gut.

His fist collides with my eye and I groan, using all my strength to roll us over to the point where I'm on top and repeatedly colliding my fist with his face.

All I can see as I swing and swing is Louis face.

The way Louis eyes crinkle in the corner when he smiles, or the way he shyly covers his mouth when he laughs. The way he scrunches his nose when he's changing a dirty diaper or the way his forehead creases when Ethan makes a mess in the bath tub.

I stop punching when I hear sob behind me and I look down, seeing blood all over both of us now. 

Edward is coughing up blood and he cries, and I get off him, staring at my bloody knuckles.

"W-Whatd you daddy"

I sink back to the ground and lay down next to Edward, letting the tears fall too, because this was my fault.

"I-I just wanted to see him one last time. just one more....j-just one more."

I squint and try my best to keep my eyelids closed, where I can feel the stream aching to be set free. It fails and I scream, choked sobs and pitiful whimpers as I do so.

"Harry."

I've lost the love of my life.

"Harry!"

I've lost the most precious being in my life.

"Daddy!"

I will never let this go, because I didn't just miss the twins birth, I missed my loves death.

I can feel Edward climb on top of me again, and I let him, not caring if he does swings one more time, because I deserve it.

"Snap out of it!"

Edward shakes me and I shake my head, because this is what I deserve.

"J-Just hit me already."

I wriggle underneath him when I feel all my face freeze, coughing as it drowns me and it fills my nostrils.

I open my eyes and Edward is holding a bottle of water, the one he quickly get rid of by placing it on the dresser.

He presses his hands to my cheeks and smacks me once slightly.

"Harry, snap out of it, you're scaring Ethan."

I look over and Ethans in the doorway, clutching to his bunny rabbit.

We're on the bed, and There's no longer blood on Edwards face.

"L-Louis."

"Harry, calm down."

"B-But Louis!"

"Harry, here here."

Edward reaches over and hands me the phone and I let out a huge deep breath, seeing the hospital number on the line.

"H-Hello? doctor?"

"No, it's Louis. What's going on haz, are you okay??"

"LOUIS. YOU'RE ALIVE."

There's a long silence on the phone line and am I hallucinating. I sit up straight on the bed and Edwards eye widened.

"Um...yes.....I am."

I can hear his erratic breathing on the other line.

"Haz, were you having nightmares? I called you but you didn't answer and when I called Edward, he told me you were freaking out, are you okay? Ethan cried over the phone, baby, please don't scare him."

It's not real, its not real, he's still here.

"Oh fuck, I'm sorry baby. I-It felt so real. Oh fuck, it felt so real. Im so sorry, I miss you. Lou I love you so much."

I rest my palm on my forehead and can feel the wetness immediately stick to my arm. I cried in my sleep, what the fuck.

I wipe my tears away and Edward climbs off of me, heading towards my son before pulling him towards me.

He climbs into my lap and I hug him tightly, kissing his wild curls.

"I-Im sorry Ethan. Daddy was having a bad dream."

"I called daddy, you no get up."

"Im sorry I scared you."

I kiss him again and place the phone back to my ear.

"Louis?"

"Hi Hazza."

"Im so sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything. I shouldn't have left. I-I shouldn't. I-Im going back baby, I already got everything managed, I dont feel so great being away from you."

"Is Louissick really a thing?" Edward whispers and I flip him off, sniffling.

"What? No Hazza, there's no need to come back."

"I want to be there Louis, I dont like being away."

"No hazza, don't waste your money. It's why im calling you sweetie, doctor gave me the signal. In a couple days I'm ready to go."

I stop and scratch my head in confusion. Edward is smiling at me and I flip him off again.

"What do you mean, what about the twi-"

"They're beautiful, Harry."

I hear Louis sigh, and I gasp.

"Are they-Am I really?"

"Yes, about an hour ago. Archie and Azalea will be meeting their daddy soon. So hold your horses love, we'll be in our way shortly."

"Oh Fuck. Oh baby! I love you so much."

"I love you too Harry."

I pull the phone from my ear and look down to Ethan, who looks confused.

I kiss him again and grab a hold of his hands, smiling because yes, yes, yes.

"Baby, your little brother and sister were born."

Ethan blinks before smiling and reaching out for the phone. I hand it over to him and watch the grin on his face when he hears Louis voice.

"Hi Daddy, miss you."

"no. I not scared no more."

"no."

"No. No he gave me food."

"Yes. He bath."

"He bath me too."

"Athena good. she sleep."

"Can I speak to them daddy?"

"Why no talk?"

"Oh. Thena not talk too."

"I have to wait years again for they to talk? I gonna be old daddy. "

"Okay daddy, beddy bye."

"love you."

Ethan hands me over the phone and I press it to my ear, hearing Louis finishing his own I love you.

"Lou?"

"Hi Hazza. I was just telling Ethan I have to go. Im a bit tired and would like to rest if you don't mind?"

"No of course not, get all the rest you need. Call me when you wake up?"

"Okay baby. Bye."

"Bye Lou. Love you so much."

"I love you."

***************

6 days later, Harry slams the car door shut running towards the private jet where he sees his soulmate, running down the steps with the swell of his stomach missing.

Neither of them know what takes over them when they're nearly a few feet from each other, Louis jumping and Harry right there to catch him in his arms. Maybe its the fact that they missed each other or that they love each other that much. Their lips collide, speaking their thoughts better than worlds could.

"I fucking love the shit out of you."

Harry whispers into Louis neck as he buries his face in his curls. He giggles in Harry's ear and Harry twirls him around, Louis wrapping his legs around Harry's waist and arms around neck.

"I do too, Harry Styles." Louis confesses.

Then two forget about the rest as they spin in the runway, William walking down the jet with the two new born carriers and Edward walks hand in hand with Ethan out the car.

"I swear, sometimes I think your father carries your dad more than you." Edward tells Ethan and the smaller boy giggles.

"He does. That big baby."


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGERS WARNING:  
> Mentions of abuse/depression/harm/death/and some fluff
> 
> Second book was deleted. Questions @Isupportlarry on twitter. 3rd book on Wattpad under @booandhazzababe

****

"You fuck off."

"No You Fuck off."

"No You."

"Fuck off Charles."

"I would very much love to fuck you yes."

"Bro."

"Im serious bro."

"Bro."

I look over to the blonde haired, Brown eyes lad while he licks his ice cream very slowly, tongue running on the side of the cone.

"You know, that looks disgusting. It doesn't even go that way."

"You would know."

"Fuck off."

"Fuck me."

He looks at me intently and before I know it, the sound of our laughter fills up the room. 

We're watching the hangover and it's quite funny, although I wonder if going to Las Vegas actually does make you have crazy nights such as.

I've haven't been to the states since a couple of years ago for Zayn and Niall's wedding in New York. The reservation was lovely but the climate outside was fucking cold.

It was nice though, both of their families all taking their time to fly over the Atlantic ocean to see their men marry as well as ours.

Although I still don't quite fancy Irish music.

I just can't dance to it.

"Bro"

"Well you ever shut up and let us watch at least one movie together without interruption, Charlie."

"You know it doesn't work that way. We have a routine. Play the movie for at least thirty minutes, hold hands the fifteen minutes after that, and then kiss the remaining time."

"O that is a bloody lie, I've never even kissed you, it goes against the bro limits."

"Bro."

"You're quite a turd, you know that."

"But You love me."

"I do."

I punch my best friend slightly on the shoulder and hear the shuffling behind us, where Mason is walking towards us with a bag of crisps. He smiles down at us and I stand up to greet him in a hug.

He pulls me close to him from the waist, and I giggle as he smashes his lips to mine, the flavor of lemon all over mine and it's the best one yet.

"Hi babe."

"Hi lovely. Was my brother being a little shit again."

"Heeey."

"You know how it is. That little crush of his never goes away."

"Why would it, you're perfect. Everyone could fall for those pretty blue eyes."

"You two are seriously just the most disgusting pair, I swear. Get out of my sight."

"Jealous?" I snicker and mason laughs.

"My pleasure."

*

"F-Fuck."

"Yes."

The covers stick to our sweaty bodies, while the sheets crumple underneath is, the beauty of love making taking its toll.

I entwine our hands above his head and slowly roll my hips forward, watching as he turns into pudding beneath me. 

He moans and I use the chance to slip my tongue in him, cherishing the taste of his sinful mouth that has some traces of me.

I kiss down his jawline down to his neck, where I create the small bruise on the crook of his shoulder brace.

"Mine."

"Yours. Always Yours."

He tangles his hands in my hair and I move down to nip at his ear. I feel his legs wrap around my back and that's my signal to give us both what we want.

"I love you"

"I love you"

"I love you"

I whisper into his ear as I pick up the pace and he attempts to do the same, although there's only one I love you and the rest of his screams are my name.

When were done, I pull out and throw the condom in the trash bin besides his bed.

I'm glad he understands my necessity to use a condom, although he swears he isn't capable of getting pregnant like my father.

Not taking any chances.

"I love you, Mason."

I spoon him in bed and kiss behind his ear while I brush the hair off of his forehead.

"I Love you too, Ethan."

************************  
[Flashback]  
************************

"What the hell is this Harry."

Louis stares widened eyed at the sight on front of him, actually having the necessity to look up, past his eye level.

He doesn't move from the passenger seat, just staring while he swears he could hear Harry gulping.

"I-It's the house I bought, Lou. Tada..."

"What part of small did you not understand Harry, did you not, I just...."

Louis cuts himself and rests a palm on his forehead, mentally screaming. He's tired from the long plane ride and expected to go home to a small, cozy home but instead he's staring at the equal definition of a mansion, the gates slowly opening for them as Harry drives about a mile until they can actually arrive at the front of the house.

There's a fountain in the middle of the circular driveway, and Louis is literally considering murder.

"Harry, what in the world were you thinking."

"Lou, please don't be mad. You just got here and I don't want to fight."

"We wouldn't have the reason to fight if you just listened to what I said!"

"Louis, you and the kids deserve the best. We needed more space."

"The size of this driveway is enough space Harry! I can't even imagine how big the rest of this house."

"We have a pool and a Jacuzzi?"

"Oh for freaks sake!"

"Lou."

Harry can hear Athena, he believes, beginning to cry while Ethan sits in the very back seat, shrugging. 

"Told you so daddy."

"Louis please. I wanted to do this. For you."

"Harry, I don't even want to begin discussing how much this house probably costs."

"I think we shouldn't."

"And that's exactly my problem."

Louis steps out the car and shuts the door as quietly as he can, although he really wanted to slam it but there's babies on board now.

He covers his mouth as he looks at the house, and hears in the background Harry getting off too.

"Louis, stop acting like if this is such a big deal."

"This is a big deal, Harry. This house it's gonna put you in debt, we can't afford that. Not with how many kids we have now."

"Louis, its fine. I've paid half already and I just need the other. I will handle the finances, I told you this already."

"How much work do you think you're gonna have to put in until you pay the rest?"

Harry steps backs and sighs, scratching the back of his head.

He looks around and doesn't dare to look Louis in the eye, mumbling something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"A couple of years."

And Louis is really wishing he had a knife around somewhere.

"What the fuck Harry!"

"Louis, please, It's okay. I will take extra work to get it paid as soon as I can, well be fine."

"You don't understand Harry, none of this necessary."

"I want to do it for the kids. Yeah, I might have to work both nights and mornings, but we will be okay."

"Harry, you can't buy the kids love."

"What do you mea-"

"I don't want my kids asking why their father is never home, Harry. I don't want them asking why their dad never spends time with them or when he actually is home, doesn't want to even bat an eyelash their way because he's too tired. They won't need a huge house then, Harry, they'll need their dad."

Louis looks red and Harry frowns when he notices what point Louis is trying to get across. He simply shakes his head and pulls Louis Into his arms, surprised he even let him be touched.

"I promise you Louis, we wont be those type of those families. We'll get through this like we have everything else, and I promise, I will be around the kids more than you think and around you because you are all the center of my universe. Understand?"

Louis sighs and nods into Harry's chest.

"Fine."

*  
After the tour of the house, Louis had to take a nap, too tired from just walking into every section of the damn place.

Louis had snapped a little bit more when he had stepped in, mocking Harry's math skills because,

"Harry, there is only 8 of us, and Athena, Azalea, and Archie will be sleeping in our room, which means we only need 4 so why the hell does this house have 14 rooms."

"A playroom for each?"

and Louis had snapped again

"Why is there five bathrooms?! Im sure the kids won't clog it up that bad!"

and again.

"Are you serious. 3 fucking living rooms."

and again.

"WHY IS THERE TWO DINING ROOMS HARRY. WE FIT IN ONE PERFECTLY FINE."

and again.

"Im not even going to bother you on why we have two kitchens, I'm too tired for this"

until he headed upstairs, climbing 3 flight of stairs just to walk back down because, their room was the one at the very bottom, towards the entrance of the house, but Louis had forgotten.

Harry sat in the living room while Ethan sat with Athena in between his legs on the rug, watching two rabbits on the screen which were apparently brother and sister.

"The small one is you Athena, because you are my baby sister and I am big bunny. I am Ruby and you are Max. But I not girl. you girl. and i am boy."

And Harry just chuckled, cradling his new set of twins on each arm as they slept.

He mentally awed in his head every time they yawned because Louis was right, they were beautiful.

As far as he were concerned, and excited, both of the twins had received his eye color, a small crescent of green appearing slightly when they opened their eyes to peek, although it wasn't much before they fell back asleep again.

Harry felt at peace.

Because although his past self wouldn't have been quite fond of the idea of being an father of five, at the age of 22, he loved it.

He did have his moments when he wished Jane was still around though, his baby girl so lively and radiant, he would start to miss the sound of her laughter.

But then he had to convince himself, she was in a better place, and wanted to be as happy for her as he would have been if she was still there.

Night time came around and William helped him put all the kids in bed, Athena, Archie and Azalea in a crib next to each other in their room while Harry tucked in Ethan in his own bed room on the second floor, spiderman designed room all set for his arrival.

Louis turned on the night light by his bed and Ethan looked around the room, and most fond with the glow in the dark stars above him, smiling because they illuminated the dark too.

Harry turned off the light and Ethan could see a shadow of spiderman now on his roof too, and felt safe with the super hero watching him.

"Goodnight Baby."

Harry sat on the right side of the bed and pressed a kiss to Ethans forehead, pulling up the covers up to his chest.

"If you need anything, or feel scared at night, don't hesitate to call us. You can sleep in our room if you want with me and daddy if you get scared. Well leave the door open for you."

Louis, sitting on the left side, leaned over a pressed a kiss to his forehead too.

"Im not scared. Daddy already check for monsters under bed and closet. no monsters"

Louis laughed and nodded, standing up and going to the edge of the bed.

Harry kicked his actions and Harry wrapped an arm around Louis waist, guiding him out the room as Ethan sticked his hand out and waved goodbye.

"Bye daddies."

"Sweet dreams bear."

"Sweet dreams peanut."

Harry shut the door, and the house fell into a sort of silence, although he could hear slightly Edward and William talking at the End of the hall.

Harry looked down at Louis, a guilty smile upon his lips as he lead him downstairs, grip still tight on his hip.

"So..what do you think."

"Our bed is not THAT bad." Louis confessed, feeling very slept and relaxed, the pillows of their mattress a type of marshmallow or clouds, if he was honest.

Harry chuckled and pressed a kiss to his temple, going the opposite direction of their room.

"I'm glad you think so. Now, for the best part of the house."

Louis peeked out the window and gasped when he saw the size of their lawn, making Harry stop in his tracks too and facing out.

"Oh, that's our backyard. I still haven't let Ethan play in it though because we still have to get a safety cover for the pool and some sand placed under the swing set just in case he falls. And I was thinking of maybe buying a goalie net if you'd like to show Ethan how to play soccer. Only if you want though. and maybe place a patio at the corner over there with a barbeque set for family nights when w-"

Louis doesn't let Harry finish, smashing his lips to his and wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him down for a passionate kiss.

"I love you so much Harry."

Louis pulls away and Harry can see the tears in his eyes, frowning before wiping them away.

"I don't known what I did to deserve so much. I-Im sorry for over reacting earlier. This house is amazing, I just didn't want to be the reason you would burn yourself out at such a young age. You deserve so much more and I just feel like a burden."

"Don't you ever feel that way, honey. I love you to the moon and back sweetheart, and I wouldn't want my life any other way. I swear it on my life."

Harry pulls him in for another kiss, and Louis sighs, content.

"Now, c'mon let me show you."

Harry entwines their hands together and Louis nods, walking behind Harry as they pass the kitchen and there is a small hidden door just next to the back of the fridge.

Harry uses his free hand and takes out a small key, Louis suddenly realizing there's a lock on the door. He places the key in the slot and twists, a click sounding in the empty kitchen, and Harry putting it back in his pocket.

"Now close your eyes and don't peek."

Harry presses another kiss to Louis temple, and Louis feels fear and excitement all in one. He does as Harry says and Closes his eyes, hearing the door slowly open and being led inside.

He hears faintly what seems water splashing and smells a mixture of burnt and vanilla.

"Im going to take your shoes off, okay babe."

"O-Ohkay."

Louis lifts a foot slightly off the ground and lets Harry slip off his sneakers and socks, squealing when he feels the ground.

"don't open your eyes."

"Im not im not. what Is that."

"You'll see right now."

And Louis wants to peek so bad.

He raises his other foot and lets Harry do the same, taking his shoe and sock off. The floor feels so feathery and soft and Louis is excited. 

When he leans on the wall, trying to stabilize himself, he is surprised to feel his hand dip.

It feels like a wall made of pillows.

"Harry, can I open my eyes."

"No. I want you to strip for me."

"What."

[Louis POV]

I open my eyes and Harry immediately grabs a hold of my head, his massive hands blacking everything out and his face in front of mine doing the same.

"I told you not to open your eyes. now close them and strip."

"O-Okay."

I close them again, feeling a little shaken with the change of Harry's tone. I can feel him take a few steps back, the heat of his body no longer present, just the sound of his breath.

I slowly step out of my sweats and pull the shirt over my head, feeling a little dizzy standing in a room almost naked with my eyes shut. I keep my underwear on because I'm not sure what's going on and don't feel like running around the house bare if a rat pops out or anything.

"Harry?"

"In here."

I feel Harry again step close to me, and when I try to grab a hold of his shirt, all I feel is skin.

I let my hand run down his chest, feeling the small hairs that appear after I trace down his belly button. I don't stop, my skin gliding even further down south, and oh, no underwear.

I'm not sure what we're doing, but I step back and place my finger tips on the waistband of mine, pulling them down as I sit on the ground. With my eyes still closed, I feel around for Harry's legs and slowly kneel up, until I can feel his hipbones under my hands.

"I love you Harry."

I whisper, yet He doesn't speak, but his actions say everything. I feel his hand run through my hair and begin to tug slightly on the corners, myself kneeling more straight and running a hand all over him.

Once he's in between my palm, I open my eyes and kiss the tip, before moving my head so i could lick the underside of it.

"Good boy."

He rubs my scalp and I hum, hollowing my cheeks as I begin to stick it in, sucking repeatedly. I look up and he's already staring back, pushing my hair back when my fringe falls onto my forehead.

I place a hand behind his back, and use it to shove him down a little more in my throat, wrapping my other hand around myself as I pump.

"So beautiful sweet heart. always so perfect."

He grunts as I bob my head harder and faster, and I groan when he pulls me off and carries me, slamming me to the wall.

Finally getting a view of the room, I moan at the sight. The walls are made of mattresses, which explains how comfortable I feel right now pressed to it. The floor is all fur, while there's a huge bed with silk sheets in the far corner and a turned on Jacuzzi in the other. There's only candled only illuminating it, and when I look down at Harry, he's smirking, green eyes gone.

"Welcome to our room love baby, where every surface of this room is fuckable material."

He presses a kiss to my neck and I am speechless.

"And you're the one who'll be getting fuked."

*

I lay on the carpet and tug at the red fur besides me on both sides. Harry has his grip on my ankles tight, and my legs are spread apart the best they can.

"Oh Please. Oh Please Oh My Fu-"

I raise my head and Harry has his sinful tongue out, licking a fat stripe from down there up to my fuckencock and he locks his eyes with mine. He doesn't stop there, still leaving a trail of saliva as he moves straight up over my belly button, and in between my nipples, and I gasp once I can feel his tongue still moving up my neck as he crawls on top of me and ends his tongue adventure on my lips.

"My fuken apple pie, I can devour you forever."

I wrap my legs around him but he moves back down again, spreading my legs apart again and burying his face in between my cheeks.

"Oh please. please! please!"

"Please what?"

He mumbles against me and I feel dizzy.

"Please Daddy. Please."

Harry chuckles against me and he pulls back up again, shaking his head.

"I know im Daddy, im asking you what you want honey."

Harry grins and I smack him in the head, moving him down again between me.

"Eat me twat. Please."

"Anything for Daddys princess."

I tangle my hands in his curls and arch my back as I can feel his tongue slide past my walls.

"ah ah. yeah! yeah! right there"

*

I run my fingers down his right arm and whimper, seeing two pairs of feet now inked on his skin right above Ethan and Athenas.

My heart is racing out of my chest as I feel his second finger slip in, the heat of the water inside me making it ten times harder to concentrate on breathing.

"S-So tight for me. Always. Love your pretty pink hole princess. so small for me."

I suck on Harry's neck and can taste the water, as well as feel the drops landing on my face from his hair.

Each of my thighs are on each side of his, making my legs spread apart enough where when I turn around, I can see in the mirror across the room on the wall, how Harry's pumping his fingers in, disappearing in and out of the water.

We look at each other's eyes through our reflections, and he suddenly takes his fingers out, instead of holding up three fingers up, holding up four. 

I shiver as he slowly moves his hand down on my spin and I watch as his hands disappears into the Jacuzzi water, where I could feel all of his fingers touch the entrance of my hole.

I turn back around and dig my nails into Harry's back, screaming as I bite into his chest with the sudden intrusion.

"So tight for me princess. You're just swallowing my fingers like you swallow my come. So lovely. so Perfect."

He moves slowly inside me and the pain immediately turns into pleasure, myself leaning back so I can see Harry's eyes.

He smashes our lips together and I hum.

"L-Love y-you D-Daddy."

*  
Harry places me down into the mattress and kisses down from my shoulder blades to the inside of my thighs.

"So perfect"

*kisses*

"And All mine"

*kisses*

"Mine forever"

*kisses*

"so beautiful."

*kisses*

"I'll love you forever."

*kisses*

"im going to love you until the day I die, and even after then."

Harry crawls off me and I whimper as he moves away from our body, and back to the pile of clothes at the entrance door. Lifting his pants off the floor, I recognize the small bottle of blue gel and a small foil packet.

He squeezes the gel out and fingers my bum, squeezing alot like he always does because he thinks I'll get hurt.

I move his hand away and kneel on the bed, before turning around and showing Harry what's his.

I get on my hands and knees and arch my back, pressing my face to the mattress. With one hand, I spread my arse apart and stick my fingers in with the other, while speaking as if he wasn't there.

"P-Princess loves Daddy's cock."

"So full."

"You're so big Harry."

"Harder."

"Yeah yeah so good. Harry you're so good."

"HarryHarryHarryHarryHarry"

I turn my head to see Harry and I watch as he just finished putting the rubber on, biting his lip as rubs more gel on his shaft and he's grabbing a hold of my hips.

I lean back further and feel as he presses the tip in, which always gets stuck and I claw at the sheets.

"More Hazza. Princess wants his arse split with Daddyscock."

"SoFukenSinfulBaby"

I feel Harry's pressure on the back of my neck, and he gives it to me, like he wants, slamming himself into me while I rut against the sheets.

*

Harry pulls me back from my hair, and immediately changes his mode, cupping my cheek as he pulls me into a kiss.

He slips out of me and he slaps my bum, making me roll over.

I spread my legs apart as I face him, and there's a mixture of water or sweat dripping down his face, and his curls are all over the place.

He grabs a hold of his hard, straight shaft and leads it back down to my hole, but I stop, sitting straight up.

I wrap my hand around it and shake my head, rolling the item slowly off of it.

"L-Lou. W-What Are you doing."

I shake my head and grab of hold him, feeling the warm skin against mine as I place the tip of him in me. He gasps and I do so too, laying back on the bed and spreading my legs again.

He looks so beautiful above me, like an angel sent from heaven, with a halo made of curls. I want all of him and never anything less.

"My man can have me anytime he wants."

I whisper and Harry eyes widen, a grin almost splitting his face. I hand to him the condom I just took off of him and he looks at it before throwing it over his shoulder, and slamming his lips to mine.

"And my boy, can have me anyway he wants."

Our foreheads press against each other and I gasp against his lips as he pushes in.

"L-Love Y-You H-Harry."

"I Love you Louis."

****************  
[Time Fast Forward]

******************

9 Months Later, Elliot is born, and it's needless to say, Harry gets an earful from William and Edward for being careless but Harry doesn't care, and neither does Louis.

*  
Ethan begins preschool and things become quite more difficult.

Two Years after the boy begins, Both Harry and Louis are too busy clashing with each other, they fail to notice there Is something wrong with the boy

He complains he doesn't want to go school repeatedly, and the only way to solve the problem, is that Harry gives him a good spanking, even at the age of six.

Louis can't do much about it, dealing with the other kids that he can't do much to stop it. or sometimes just can't stand being in the same room as him, as soon as he appears, he flees 

*  
It isn't until Ethan comes crying home from school, that Louis and Harry stop their civil war because they realize their child is truly unhappy and they've been letting it slide all along.

Louis felt horrible because exactly what he assumed would happen, happened, Ethan needing more attention than he was giving him. Harry felt equally guilty and it wasn't until they actually sat down and discussed what was going on that LouisandHarry felt like complete shit.

"K-Kids at school b-bully me cause I-I have two dads and t-they say its wrong a-and im going t-to go to hell cause I was born from f-fagets"

Ethan cries on their couch and Harry is enraged as well as Louis. They pull him into a hug together and the younger boy cries harder.

"A-And I told my best friend you two fight alot a-and he said when p-parents fight alot, they don't love each another a-any more and they're going to split a-and I don't want that Daddy and Papa. Please dont leave each other."

And both Louis and Harry are in tears, shaking their heads.

"Me and Papa love each other so much Ethan. We've just been on edge lately, that's all, but I would never leave him or any of you. You know that, right?"

And Ethan nods up at Harry who kisses him and Louis begins to kiss him too.

Louis apologizes to Harry and Harry does the same, sharing a kiss which Ethan for once, enjoys.

*

Ethan doesn't like seeing his papa or daddy angry, but its a whole different thing when their pissed together at someone else.

Ethan thinks he Is seeing a live scene of batman and robin as his parents curse out the principal for letting this happen to him.

Ethan likes it even better when he realizes they're pointing and cursing while they hold hands under the desk.

Super couple

Ethan thinks, and feels content when he's moved to a less religious school with better, understanding friends.

*

At the Age of 13, Ethan is about to shart his pants as he enters the kitchen, seeing his Papa chop vegetables on the kitchen counter while Dad stirs the soup.

He's got a confession to make and he feels guilty for with holding it back so long because he's always trusted his parents and this is the first time he's felt uncomfortable talking to them.

"Papa. Dad. I need to tell you something."

"What is it peanut?"

Louis snickers as Harry jokes, making Ethan rolls his eyes because, it's not his fault his papa was a m&m craving maniac when he was inside him.

"Well....I kinda fancy someone at school and I invited her over for dinner. I-Is that alright?"

Harry is tasting the soup when he realizes what his son has said and spits it out. 

Ethans face pales and Louis turns to Harry, groaning.

"I swear, it's still good Lou."

"No. I'm not letting our kids eat that."

"Nothing even went in! well, just a little bi-"

"Harry. Remember in the shower."

Ethan watches in confusion as his papa runs his thumb under his lip and sticks it in his mouth,while his dad eyes widened and nods.

"Oh right. you kids can't eat that."

Harry turns the stove off and Ethan is confused.

"Papa. Dad."

he tries again and they hum.

"What is it dear?" Papa responds now, beginning to cut the vegetables again.

"Well can I bring her?"

"Oh, yeah, of course Nathan. I'll put an extra plate on the table for her, sound good baby?"

Ethan nods, and Ethan turns to his Dad, waiting for a response

"Y-You're not mad?"

"Why would we be mad?" He finally speaks, taking a sip out of his glass of water.

"C-Cause....you know. I-I didn't end up liking boys like you two?"

Louis stops the knife and looks up frowning, while Harry places his Glass down on the table and does the same.

"Come here."

Ethan regrets making the comment as he sees his dad motioning with his finger to approach him. He gulps, remembering last time he did that, Azalea had scratched Papas new car with scissors because he wouldn't give her ice cream when she was five and got a good spanking or him at the age of 6 when he had skipped school at the park because he didn't want to attend.

"I-Im sorry."

Ethan speaks low and can almost feel the tears threatening to spill as Harry looks him that way.  
He steps forward and his papa, lets the knife go, moving around to stand next to Harry.

Ethan looks up, and takes a deep breath.

"Is that what all of this distance has been about? You do know we love you Baby, right?"

Papa states and Dad nods.

"Ethan, we're not the type of parents who are going to set an expectation on who you should date. No, were not mad you don't like boys. The correct term is no, we're not mad if you aren't gay or not as well as we don't care if you're bisexual or heterosexual or pansexual or tree sexual, if that's even a thing."

Dad states and he wipes a tear, Ethan didn't know was on his cheek.

"Parents, like us, are supposed to support you on the decisions you choose, not make them for you. Don't ever feel like you need our approval for things such as. You like what you like and as long as you're happy, and you're not hurting anyone or breaking a law, we will be happy."

Papa finishes with a kiss on his cheek and Dad does so too, before going back to make a new batch of soup together.

Ethan brings Brianna that night and everyone absolutely adores her, except for Athena.

She 'accidentally' spills her orange juice all over her dress and she has to leave early.

*  
Years later, Ethan begins to question all of his decisions again, a little nervous when he sees his Dad and Papa walk in, that morning, with a bag behind them.

"Happy Birthday Champ. Guess who turns 15 today?"

Harry gives the bag to Louis and Ethan gets engulfed in a huge hug from Dad. Louis then hands the bag to Harry and Ethan hugs his papa, a little swoon.

"Get ready. Once we're done changing all the kids, we're going out for a celebratory breakfast."

Louis chirps and Harry nods, almost handing him the bag before Ethan mutters something under his breath.

Louis and Harry both blink in silence after he does so and Louis fakes deafness.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I'm Gay."

He says it a louder, and he sees his dads share a glance before Papa is hugging him and kissing his cheek.

"And I still love you."

Louis smiles and pats his head, before turning around and leaving his room.

Ethan had always been a little more intimidated by Dad though, and he gulps as Harry places the bag on his bed.

He crosses his arms and stays silent, Ethan a little nervous as he reaches out for the bag and places it in his lap.

He takes off the tissue paper first and his eyes widened when he sees what's inside.

"I know."

Ethan takes out the MacBook from the bag and squeals, but quiets down when he realizes what his father has just said.

"Your papa almost had my head for dinner because there was links on my laptop for pornlinkss I have never even herd of. But he realized before hand, I would never be looking for Fit and Muscular Men online because, that's just not my type."

Ethan blushes as he looks as his father, who can easily be one of those men on the screen and thinks of his second father, all small and curvy, who fits the image of what fit and muscular men like Dad do to twinks like Papa and he thinks he's going to tell for even comparing them in the first place.

"Im sorry"

"And you do know, we all share the same Netflix account."

Ethan is going to die of embarrassment.

Instead of apologizing, Ethan makes it even worse.

"It's your fault I'm gay."

Harry's eyes widened and he shakes his head.

"What in the world are you talking about?"

Ethan sinks in his bed and we'll, his dads did want him to trust them completely.

"Ever since I was little dad, I seen. Not always, but I can hear. You know, I do have ears. You make papa cry but at the same, you make him happy. you take care of him. I want to take care of someone too. Just not a girl."

Harry laughs and shakes his head.

"That's not my fault, that's just being in love Ethan. I love your papa to death and i will always care for him, even if we're mad at each other. and that happens to other couples, straight or not. so the fact that the person you want to take care of is not a girl, well...its not my fault."

"And I saw that video you took of papa and you last Halloween in your supposed 'working office' next to the kitchen. That's what made me not like girls because if boys can look like papa in cat suits...."

"You don't speak of this to your dad, I don't tell him who really broke the window last week."

Harry's face is red now, because he was sure he'd hidden that file very well in the computer.

"Deal."

********  
[Time Fast forwards]

"Target in sight. Over."

"Command base 3, do you copy?over."

"Target in sight. Command base 2. Do you copy? over."

"Target in sight. over. command base 4, do you copy?"

"Like on school tests?"

"Ugh no. over. is target in sight. over."

"Like the store? No. that's like on the other side of town, isn't it?"

"Dakota. Kick her out. Over."

"heeeeeeey."

"Stay focused troops, I see movement."

I roll my eyes as I can hear all of them through the walkie talkies, those fools not knowing better than to leave with Elouise with a walkie talkie.

"Hi Ethan!!! we're in an important mission, wanna help?"

She jumps and I pick her up, watching as her blue eyes sparkle with the little glint of light that seems to sneak in through the door. 

"What are you guys up to now?"

"I see movement! This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. Henceforth in battle!!!"

"For Narnia!!"

"For my room!!"

"For my tv!!!"

"For us in general!!!"

Elouise gasps and wiggles in my hold, myself letting her down and she somehow pulls out a weapon from behind the curtains.

how the hell did I not see that.

"Cmon Ethan!!!"

She waves at me and I run behind her, watching in amusement as she gets ready to attack.

When I enter the living room, I can't help but laugh, seeing Papa and Dad squealing in fear.

"Ow Cecily!!!! That's my ear!!"

"Dakota You better not be behind this, I swear!!"

"Eve! Stop throwing me eggs eww!!"

"Elouise, stop spraying me with your water gun."

"FOR NARNIA!!!"

"NO EVE, FOR US!!"

"CECILY CODE RED."

"Code red? OKAY. AUNT GEMIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"CECILY STOP SCREAMING IN MY EAR."

"Harry, help!"

I watch as Dakota and Eve manage to tie Papas hand and have him on his stomach on the floor.

"FOR SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Oh god no no no."

Archie and Azalea come from the patio doors and my dads start screaming when they suddenly begin to get attacked by massive amounts of water balloons.

"AZALEA, HOW DARE YOU."

"ARCHIE YOUNG MAN YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW."

"Harry, why did we do this."

"RED ROBINNNNNNN. YUMMMMMMMMMMM! RED ROBIN!!!!!!!!!!!"

"is that.."

"No. NO."

"ELLIOT NO"

From the other entrance, comes in my brother with 7 bags of flour, distributing them out and Harry screaming as they rip them open and throw the flour towards them.

I can tell papas given up because he's just laying down on the floor with his hands tied, but dad fights the kid power a little more.

He fails, one of the toy cars on the floor making him slip until hes on the floor right next to dad, faced down.

"Kids."

I hear and feel someone lean next to me on the door frame, and I wrap my arm around my sister, before we're both laughing out loud.

Dad and Papa look up at us and I can see their true desperation written all over.

"Ethan."

"Athena."

"Please help us."

Me and Athena look at each other and scrunch our noses, before looking back at them.

"Naaaahh. We're good."

I watch as Eve now steps into the room and is holding the youngest Styles of the family, helping her hold a pie.

Even kneels down in front of Dad and Mazie lets go of the pie, getting a face full of whip cream and strawberries.

"NOO"

Papa begins to now squirm, but Elouise and Cecily climb on top of him, holding him still.

Mazie drops a second pie and Papa groans.

There's a silence in the room until both papa and Dad roll over on their backs, which is followed by a room full of cheers.

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED."

"WE WON."

"WE GET TO KEEP OUR ROOM."

"STYLES SQUAD WINS."

"FATALITY."

"BAAAHHH SOWHENYAAAAAAAA. MAMABEATSE BAA BAHHHHHBBBBHHH"

"Is that the lion king song?"

"I believe so."

Athena whispers as the kids jump on the couches and I can see Dads looking at each other.

Papa smiles at Dad and Dad smiles back. Before I know it, Papa is getting up from the ground and running towards us. Dad gets up from the ground and runs towards us too, all my brothers and sisters screaming.

"WE'RE GOING TO OUR BEDROOM. THAT MESS BETTER BE CLEANED WHEN WERE DONE."

"NO THEYRE GETTING AWAY"

"DONT LET THEM GET AWAY."

"NO NO,NO NO"

Me and Athena move out the way as we see all the kids running behind our dads as they laugh. They get in their room on time and I laugh as they all bang on the door, yelling No.

Azalea approaches us with Baby Mazie and we ask her what the hell just happened, and by the end, me and Athena our laughing are asses off.

"Wait. wait. wait. So dakota decided to call an attack because Papa kissed Dada on the cheek."

"Yeah. He said it seemed to romantic, not those type of quick ones, and they had to put a stop to it before it went any where. we succeeded."

"You mean you failed. Dad and Papa are in their room?"

Azalea sticks her head out the room and me and Athena watch as the kids stop banging. 

The house goes quiet and suddenly.

"O-Oh Harry Yes. Yea. Yes."

"OH MY, THEY ARE DOING THE NAUGHTY NOOO."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The kids quickly scatter away, hands over their ears, and Azalea gives Mazie before running too.

They run up the stairs to their rooms and me and Athena just stare at each other.

"You don't think they would really.."

"I mean, it's already 10 of us, I don't think they would...."

"I mean, we said that after Eve..."

"No, I just."

Me and Athena stare at each other, same fear in our heads.

We let out a huge breath when we see papa stick his clean head out and smile towards us, before swinging the door open and Dad is behind him holding his hand.

They have new sets of clothes on, and they walk towards us non nonchalantly.

Papa reaches for Mazie and Athena hands her over, giggling with Papa makes funny faces.

"Were going out for lunch with Mazie since she was the only one who didn't KNOW what she was doing."

"Oh im sure if she could walk, she'd be at you guys too"

Athena jokes and dads laugh, nodding

"Yeah, you're probably right. but she can't walk. but you two can. so.....clean up this mess. We'll be back in a few hours."

"Wha-"

"but pap-"

"And don't you dare speak back to your father." Dad raises his eye brows and we both close our mouths, watching as Dad walks out the house with his hand around Papas waist.

***********

Our family isn't normal.

I think we get it from our dads.

Scratch that.

I know we get it from our dads.

"Pass me the salt, princess."

I watch as Louis grabs a hold of the salt and Elouise's hand is right over his, where she thought Dad was talking to her.

Everyone stares confused, except for me and Athena, who are in the middle laughing.

"Elouise, daddy didn't mean you." Athena snickers and I laugh into my hand.

I stare at Elouise who frowns, but doesn't let go. Louis is just staring at her and I can see dads smirk behind his glass of wine.

I swear I can hear the mortal kombat voice at the back of my head, chanting "fight!"

"But Daddy said I was his princess." Elouise states and I can just see the back of papas head, when he turns to Dad.

Dad puts his glass down and chokes a little, before his eyes widened and he's looking down to Elouise.

"Uhm. your daddys good girl, baby."

I watch as he turns to papa and shakes his head immediately, before turning back to elouise.

"I mean, daddys good angel."

He looks at papa again, but I can't see what he's doing, but the way Dads eyes widened says everything.

"I mean.....your uh daddys pretty kitten."

Dad looks again toward papa and I can't help how amusing this Is, Harry shaking his head.

"jm sorry uh. youre a pretty fairy. yes.....you're daddies pretty fairy."

Me and Athena burst out in laughter as Papa finally faces us, and frowns.

Elouise lets go of the salt and Papa gives it to dad, our brothers and sisters looking confused.

They just don't know yet.

"Meowww." I purr and look at dad, who turns to looks at papa in fear and papa looks at me.

"If that's a way of saying you want a cat, the answer is no."

Papa reaches back into his spaghetti and Athena is gonna die of laughter, I bet on it.

"It's okay papa, the one we have is enough."

I watch as dad begins to cough loudly, choking on his meatball, and excusing himself.

Papa furrows his eyebrows and gets up from the table, following behind dad.

"Harry, is there a cat in this house that I need to know about?! Where are you bloody keeping it."

I can hear him screaming and Athena laughs as she whispers in my ear.

"Yeah, in his bedroom."

she winks and I can't take it. 

Cecily speaks up.

"No way. Did dad really buy us a cat?"

*************  
I can see the way dad is literally shitting bricks as he wraps his arms around Papa.

I wonder if it's the nerves or the fact that they're are scared they're going to get attacked by all their children again.

Maybe a little bit of both.

It's a Sunday night, which usually means no t.v.,no internet, no going out, no type of contact with the outside world.

Uncle Edward nor Uncle William can come either, because it's only "Styles family" only night.

and that's the problem Dad is trying to fix tonight.

"So, Story telling time. Whose up first?" Papa claps his hands together and everyone's hands go up but me and mazies.

only me and mazies.

"Harold, why is your hand up dear? you know it's the kids turn."

"Well I really want to tell the kids about my life WITH the greatest person in my life."

I chuckle as the kids aww as if they dont scream ewww, everytime they kiss.

We're a weird family, what can I say

"please papa."

"let dad tell story."

"yea, you never told us how you came to have all of us."

"yeah, all ten of us, which by the way is a really huge number, just throwing it out there."

"Yeah, so chill."

Archie speaks up, and I chuckle, because way to go Master subtle.

Papa looks at Dad and kind of frowns.

"I don't know if that's a good ide-"

"Not all the details, Louis."

I wonder what that means, seeing my papa kind of shift uncomfortable in his seat. I really don't know much before I could actually speak and Dad has never told me what really happened before Papa had woke from his sleep.

"Well kids, let me start off by saying, I was a bigger fool than the mime on Wallis Street."

My brothers and sisters laugh and I just chuckle, not believing it for a single second.

"Im not kidden. I was a very dumb 17 year old blindly wooed by this 14 year old."

"Hey, im 14!" Elliot speaks.

"me too!" Elouise cheers.

"No, you're 7 Elouise."

"And im older. I'm 9!" Cecily sticks her tongue out and Eve scoffs, amusement in her dark green eyes.

"Well, I'm 12."

"And Im one year older Eve. The big 13."Dakota smirks.

"Haa. and were 15 Losers." Archie and Azalea say in unison as they fist bump.

"Uh hellooo. we all know the greatest Styles in this family is 16." Athena bats her eyelashes and flips her long, brown wavy hair.

Dada and Papa are giggling in the couch, and they look at me at the same time.

"Well I was born first, that makes me best Styles, hands down. and the fact that I'm the only adult besides dads. 18 woot woot!"

Everyone sticks their tongues out, and its because they know I'm right.

"Okay kids stop fighting."

"Yeah Ethan, shush. you're interrupting dad."

I roll my eyes and papa laughs, before turning to Dad. He's already staring back and he grows quiet.

"As I was saying, I was a fool. I was such a fool for not realizing how much I loved 14 year old papa with his chili bowl hair cut and big ol glasses."

The kids laugh and papa covers his face, punching slightly dad on the chest.

"You know that rumor when someone is mean to you, it's because they like you? It was true for me. So true I was way worse than mean to papa. I was completely horrible."

I watch Dad drop his head and papa frowns, and oh.

Dad never mentioned this.

"I was so mean to papa he didn't like me for maybe a little while. But I loved papa so much, but I didn't know how to express it. Alot of bad things happened to Dad which made him angry and think he couldn't love. Everything dad ever loved always left his life, and I was very scared papa would leave too."

They're staring at each other now and my brothers and sisters are frowning. Athena looks concerned and I am too. What happened before us? Before all this? 

Before all the laughs and tears of joy and family road trips and vacations and family nights and barbeques and movie nights and us.

"I had to let go of papa because I thought he would be happier with someone else but the universe put us back."

He slightly smiles and Papa is still frowning.

"You see this."

Dad turns his right arm, and I smile at all the tattoos he has inked down his whole arm, myself not sure how the hell all of us fit in his arm.

He points at the very bottom where a date is written on his wrist, and he smiles down at it.

05/17/2010

And wow, that's today.

"Exactly 18 years ago, I asked papa to be my boyfriend and he said yes."

My sisters and brothers cheer and my papas eyes widened. I hear him ask, "that's what that is?" and Dad nods, smiling slightly, papa beginning to apologize.

wait, he didn't know?

"Dad took papa to his high school prom and had fun. Too much fun. So much fun, Ethan was created."

Wait what.

"Haaaaa! You were a prom baby!" Athena laughs and what.

"What, Dad, You said I was made in grandma's beach."

"You were. For prom."

"You had me under a lie this whole time."

I gasp and my brothers and sisters laugh.

"M sorry son.,You were made out of huge love though. That night I realized, I wanted to spend then rest of my life with papa here."

Dad wraps his arm around papas shoulder and the kids coo again.

"Things came up though, lots of things that split me and papa apart and I had to go away for a while."

I watch papa and I can see himself pinching at his thigh. 

"When I came back to see papa, we left to America and papa got really ill. He fell asleep and didn't wake up for a year. Papa didn't remember who no one was anymore."

Wait, what.

Dad just said Papa was in a coma, he never said anything about memory loss.

"But it was okay because Ethan here helped him. Do you wanna know what you did?"

Dad is looking at me as well as the rest of our family. the hell did I do.

"Ethan was a little upset papa didn't let him call him daddy so he grabbed my wallet and showed Louis the picture of him pregnant with him and yeah, you saved us Ethan."

Dad and Papa smile at me and my brothers and sisters cheer again.

"Ethan made us get together and After that, there was some bad things that happened but we got through them."

I watch as Papas face scrunches and I remember.

I remember the screams.

I remember the breaking of stuff.

I remember the slamming of doors.

I remember the crying.

I remember the fear.

I remember the hospital trips.

I remember the car sliding in front of us and the way Dad got out his seat in time to climb on papas lap and shield him before flying out the car and everything going blank.

I remember Dad looking down at me and crying as he ran his fingers through my stitches on my stomach, where they had removed a glass.

I remember the way Dad cried at night when Jane would be in the hospital for hours, with her eyes open, but mouth shut before having seizures and waking up the next morning like if she wasn't sick.

I remember papa in the restroom when Dad was locked in the room with my uncle and would always cut himself in the same spot he had a scar.

I remember the way dad at night would sneak out of his room and cry on the patio of our home for hours before coming back in and waking up with papa like if he was just fine.

I remember the way Papa would come back late at night and throw up in the restroom, crying until Uncle Edward or William would help.

I remember after Elliot was born too, when dad and papa would fight over paying the house, to the point I believed what Jensen had said was true, seeing my Papa slap Dad so hard, Dad lost his control and threw papa across the patio floor, on a midnight, that they would split.

I remember seeing the next day too, when papa and dad had came home from the hospital, their eyes were red and my papas's 5 month stomach was gone.

I remember that time, because it was hell. It was hell for me and I hated when dad left for a month, papa saying he wanted to take therapy and anger management classes because he had done something very bad and would never forgive himself.

I know too, that Cecilys name wasn't supposed to be hers, but, it was what it was.

I look back at my parents and they've gone through alot, but when they look at each other, it's as if nothing before existed.

"Wanna know something kids?"

"What dad?"

"tell us!"

"you have to tell us now."

Dad laughs and he shields his mouth from Louis, pointing at his direction as he smiles.

"You're papa isn't a Styles."

My brothers and sisters gasps and Athena shoots me a look, while I press my finger to my lip.

Papa laughs awkwardly and frowns.

"We'll....that's not my fault."

Dad laughs and the kids gasp.

"You never asked papa to marry dad? what?"

"Then how come we're not all Styles-Tomlinson?"

"Why would you be. And i did try Louis. Three times."

"W-What?"

Papa turns to Harry and frowns.

"When?"

"Tell us dad, tell us!"

"you have to tell us!"

"dad please."

"Well, the first time, we were in the bed."

"Ewwwww dad!"

"always in bed!"

Dad doesn't take his eyes off Papa.

"I thought it'd be cliche and play the I dont like your last name , do you want to change it to mine, but papa got offended I was making fun of his name."

The kids laugh and I feel bad as Papa covers his mouth, and I can see tears. the kids can't tell but dad isn't crying because he's happy.

"The Second Time was when I gave you the box of letters at your moms beach house,... papa was mad at me and didn't read the letters. The Last one had the ring it, but he threw it away."

The kids laugh because they probably think daddy was being the goof he is, but dad is crying. There's tears down his face and when i look over to Athena, she's shaking her head wiping away her tears, and maybe she understands a little bit of this too

"The third time, we were laying down in bed, and Athena was now with us. Ethan was watching cartoons and i was painting on your papas swelling belly and I wrote the words, on his stomach, but this time it was my fault. I was playing with papa, I forgot about his belly and I messed it up before he could see it."

"Daaaaaaad!!!!!

"I know. I know."

"you propose at the weirdest times."

"On the contrary, I propose at reasonable times. Being with Louis in bed made me happy because the beating of our hearts were always in rhythm to each other. Proposing at the beach through a letter made me happy because it reminded me of back then when i first realized I was a goner for your papa, in the same place. Just as proposing in bed next to Ethan and Athena made me happy, because I had my own little family growing, something I never expected for myself. Proposing when your truly happy is not weird."

"And are you happy now dad?" I ask and papa turns to me, wiping away his tears.

Dad smiles at me and i do so back.

"I have a huge house full of 10 kids that make my mornings a living nightmare by jumping on the bed at the crack of dawn, singing karaoke at full blast in the afternoon's during my nap or the sound of windows shattering at night because some of you don't understand you cant play some games inside the house, and I have to read a million of bed time stories to each and one of you before I get to go to bed, where I'm met with the sound of you or Athenas laptop playing youtube. Of Course I'm fucking happy, because I get to see Louis go through it too. And although he sometimes whines like some of you, at the end of the day, I have someone whispering in my ear that they love me and that's a pretty good win for a man that didn't believe, true love existed."

Dad confesses as he looks into papas eyes

Everyone coos again and Athena flicks me off, because we can all see it now.

"The last time I proposed to you was the best."

"When was that?"

Papa sniffles and Dad cups his cheek with his free hand.

"It was that time I confessed how much I adore the life I have and how grateful I feel to have met someone like you, to give me a chance to make mistakes and still have you by my side through thick and thin and give me probably the most annoying but perfect family I've ever had and the kids were just sitting around listening to their dad saying a silly story that's actually true on a Sunday family night, exactly 18 years after the day you agreed to be my boyfriend, while I got off the couch on one knee and I hoped that the next date that I'll tattoo on my left wrist is the date you agreed to what I'm about to propose.,"

Dad gets on one knee on the floor and my sisters and brother's are crying, and Dad has papas hand in his and he pulls behind his back, a small, old looking box and pops it open. Papa is in tears and his eyes widened with the sight.

"Louis William Tomlinson, father of my children, savour of my soul, and love of my life. Will you marry me?"

Papa swallows heavily and smiles, nodding before he's leaping off the couch and into Dads arms.

"Yes. Of course, yes."

Papa cries against Dads chest and everyone runs towards them, 

Mazie, Elouise, Cecily, Eve, Dakota, Elliot, Archie, Azalea, Athena, and I surround our dads in a group hug, sharing the greatest moment of our lives.

"I love you Harry. And Kids."

"I love you Louis. and Kids."

"We love you daddies."

************ 

Every one is in bed, except two.

I walk towards the living room and Dad and Papa are there waiting for me. 

They sit on the couch pressed closed together, and I smile, seeing the way Dad is holding Papas hand, which now was a gold, diamond ring on it.

The first one who gets up is papa, and he takes me into his arms. I shrink myself the best I can, although I'm way past his height, burying my face under his neck.

"Thank you for everything baby. No matter how grown you are, you will always be my bear, my baby bear who I wish nothing but happiness because that's all you've brought to me."

"Papa stop. you're going to make me cry I don't want to cry."

I raise my head and he wipes under my eyes, before pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"Daddy loves you endlessly."

He whispers and I pull him back in again, lifting him off the ground because I simply can.

"Ethan!."

"I love you daddy. so much."

I cry as I hug him and I feel a pair of arms wrap around me. I open my eyes and put papa down, letting him go before my dad wraps his arms around me and I sob into his chest.

"I love you too daddy. so much."

"I love you too, peanut. and I'm sorry for everything.

I pull back and watch as papa takes his position, next to dad's side. 

They smile at me, and although they're a little older, and have a little more creases by their eyes, and little more hair, dad especially, they're still the same parents who taught me how to walk and fed me my first cup of frozen yogurt and took me to my first park and my first carnival and my first beach and my first movie and bought me my first pet and walked hand in hand with me to my first day of school and cheered me on my first footie game and supported me through my first break up and bought me my first car.

Their still the same parents who've gone through hell and back and stayed at each others side because the only thing they love more than us, is each other.

"I couldn't have asked for better dads."

I speak as I hug them one more time and they sandwich me in between, saying they couldn't have asked for a better son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue next


End file.
